When is it finally time to purge?

[girlygirly]

I started transitioning back to guy clothes and being a more typical guy a couple years ago, it seems to have taken pretty well. I'm much happier and girls even talk to me in an interested way now. I no longer need an entire roomful of clothing, which saves me lots of money. These days it's tighty whiteys for me and I've started to shop in the men's department again. There is some stuff that I can get away with because it is totally androgynous, but I am mostly upset and embarrassed by anything female which remains in the apartment. It all has to go, stat. There are three choices for me, throw it in the garbage, drop it off at Goodwill, or sell it anonymously on Ebay(which is unlikely).

Giving it to a female is out, they have a likelihood to tell on us. It isn't even worth risking. What should I do?

[Katey888]

Good for you! :cheer:

It's refreshing (but unusual) to hear an alternate success story here... looking back, it seems you have been moving this way for some time now but only just getting those last few vestiges of the sacred feminine washed out of your hair (to mix my clichés...) but this sounds like the last hurdle...

I'd suggest goodwill as the best for reuse/recycling. Some other GG or CD will benefit from your cast-offs as well as it supporting charity, and perhaps the feeling of doing something good with that last batch of contraband will be supportive in itself...?

Good luck! And let us know what you do and how it goes... :D

Katey x

[charlenesomeone]

Agree with Katey and you get a tax write off here in the states, just use a program online called its deductible.

[Marcelle]

Goodwill would be my suggestion.

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Girly is there a little more background why you've decided to purge ? You don't mention your age so is there some major event in your life that has brought about this change ?
I hope it goes well for you but please don't beat yourself up if you find a U-turn happens ! I accept my CDing is for life irrespective of what clothes I have ! I would be lying to myself if tried to do otherwise !

[alwayshave]

I don't know about purging, even when in male mode there is not a day of my life that I have not thought about wearing a dress, skirt, lingerie, hells, etc.... If I was to do as you have done there is no chance that the urge would not return and I'd have to go out and buy new clothes.

[Princess Chantal]

I tend to donate to the Goodwill for stuff not quite usefull for the homeless missions to use. The higher end clothing and high heels, I tend to put them for consignment at a friend's store. I sometimes donate the high end clothing to local second hand shops that use the profits for animal shelters or other missions that I agree with.
I think it is great that you have explained your current situation with crossdressing.

[colleen ps]

I sympathize with you. I had a time when i felt i was doing something wrong. Even though it was mainly with and accepted by my SO (actually it was her that brought this side of me out) i felt like i had to get rid of everything and be once more the person i thought i should be. It lasted a while, but the feelings came back. Especially when my SO got dressed for an evening out. I would watch her get ready and it was like a switch went on that said "Do It!" i managed to stay blokey for a while but in the end i gave in. I had thrown everything away previously and swore never again would i need it. Well needless to say, i gave in and THAT is when it gets really expensive. trying to replace all that stuff collected over the years. I begged borrowed and stole enough to get by and then had to buy more that actually fitted or suited me.
If you are intent on backing out gracefully, why not find a trustworthy friend and get them to store a small case of essentials for that day that might happen upon you. Its a cheaper way back in, but having to ask someone for your "stuff" may help hold you off. If you are so determined to cease, then i suggest giving to charity rather than dumping it all. Remember, charity shops is where a lot of potential new CD friends start to acquire their clobber, so you will be potentially helping other souls trying to find themselves.

Good luck on the rest of your journey.

Colleen

[NicoleScott]

I'm with Teresa - what's up with you? More info needed. Did you experiment with CDing, only to discover that you aren't? Or are you a CDer trying not to be? What's driving this purge?

[ophelia]

I'm with Princess Chantal and Katie 888...Maybe purge is a misnomer. Your style has to "evolve". You should purge items you have no use for by donating them to a charity. It will help the poor and it will help the causes for those charity stores. And it will make more items available to other sisters.
If we deal with charity shops in this way maybe we're only renting clothes.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hi Girly girl,
I agree with everyone here, but I say, Purge….Purge away. It sounds like something you want or need to do. Throw it all in a big bag and drop it off at your local Goodwill. Like pulling off a band-aid, do it quick and fast and it will be less painless.
Now here is my caveat: There will be a few things that you will struggle with, whether due to their cost or emotion. Put those in a box, mark it old memories and tuck it away in an attic. Up until recently I have never had a complete CD compliment, so to speak. Just items collected from here and there. They were always hidden away and I would find on occasion, myself looking for something else in my storage when that urge would hit me. I could dig them out and slip them on and much like a drug user (sorry for this analogy) I would get a quick fix. The great thing about my attic is everything is in fashion and nothing goes out of style.
So that’s just my suggestion. What ever you do girl, which ever direction you go, good luck to you and I hope you find your happiness, but please do not get rid of your membership card. Tuck it in the back of your wallet. If you find yourself back here it will save you from having to go though that lengthy application process............
Best wishes
Victoria D ;)

[Allisa]

I'm a little confused, you say it's been a couple of years when you transitioned back to male. Why didn't you just purge then and why wear anything androgynous if you present totally as male and why would it matter if females tell on you if you are totally male now? But to answer your question give ALL your female attire and any other stuff to a charity and be the man you want to be.Good luck in your journey in life, "live long and prosper".

[Annaliese]

Goodwill, give some other girl a chance at your clothes, I know I shop at goodwill from time to time, or find a CD close to you to give them to.

[Stephanie47]

If you're going to have no need for your outerwear (dresses/skirts/pants) I'd suggest seeing if your community has a program dedicated to helping women rejoin the workforce. Sometimes their need is greater than donating to Goodwill. The tax write off is still there, but, the need is greater. Goodwill is too much of a big business.

As to purging because cross dressing no longer works for you, I wish you well. Since I have yet to find anyone who can explain why are person cross dresses (each to his own I guess), then what caused you to indulge and ultimately shed cross dressing may never be known. There are some who choose 24/7 365 days a year, and, some who indulge rather infrequently. I read your post of December 2012. If you made a choice to not cross dress, then you are probably more able to shed the clothes by taking it slow. I do not believe someone may be successful by just chucking it all in the trash one day and expecting the mental issues to be resolved because the clothes are gone. Too much angst arises. Good luck!

[Beverley Sims]

Don't give it to friends, too much explanation.

In to the charity bin it goes.

On a lighter side for others it is time to purge when you are a size sixteen and all those half size dresses... "they were size eight I think" ...you acquired in your teens are never going to fit again.

[cdterri]

We should remember that goodwill is not a charity, it is a for profit business. There are many better places to donate to, salvation army for one.

[Tanya+]

i say store it well and if you still don't want it in 2 years, then donate it. sounds ilk you invested plenty there, hate you to double your regrets, without a cooling off period

[kimdl93]

I looked back over some of your earlier posts to gain some context. And based on that, to answer your question, now is as good a time as any for you to get rid of your things. Let the future take care of itself.

Oh, and to correct an earlier post, Goodwill is NOT a for profit enterprise. It's a non profit corporation, just like Salvation Army, and all of the money made by its donation and resale programs go into services for the poor and disabled.

[JeanetteX]

I agree with Tanya. Isn´t it wise to store your clothes first before you throw it all away? To me it looks a bit drastic to throw away or give away everything just like that. After all its common knowledge that CD´s find it real hard to get rid of their feelings or urges...its not like you can get cured or anything. Of course this is your decision and yours only, but I´d hate it if you would end up full of regrets. I´d say give it some more time.

[CD_Princess1234]

See that you have not thrown it away my tell you deep inside "I'm not ready to let go." You've place an option to store it in the garage is saying the same message. I would advise to store if you can. You may think you are past this phase in your life. I have purged a few times through the years. Looking back I lost out on a few things only to buy them again. I have to say it is something... a feeling, urge or an underlying emotion that keeps resurfacing and drawing me back to CDing. I have gone deeper in than ever before and happier with myself. As others have said.... give time. Discover who you are and see if you are happy in the tidy whities or is girlygirly who you are

[stacy956]

Donate to the less fortunate :) will make you feel good

[Alice_2014_B]

If you're worried about inconspicuousness then just donate to charity.
:)

[Mink]

throw it in the garbage!!

[Janet161]

Hi. My money says it won't work. I know I totally don't know you but if you are on here and talking about a purge it just isn't going to be the answer my friend. I have purged so many times I can't count them any more. It is an incredible feeling-the purge. It should give you a feeling of complete control. How awesome is that? You are the master of your life, your fate. Very impressive. Hmmm. Believe me, it is a passing feeling and you are just fooling yourself. No offense here, really. I am just sharing my experience with you. Ugh. :)

[msniki48]

Girly is there a little more background why you've decided to purge ? You don't mention your age so is there some major event in your life that has brought about this change ?
I hope it goes well for you but please don't beat yourself up if you find a U-turn happens ! I accept my CDing is for life irrespective of what clothes I have ! I would be lying to myself if tried to do otherwise !

I am in Teresa's camp on this one.... not a lot of information as to your dressing, but, many of us have decided to purge for many reasons. Don't be upset if somewhere down the line you make that U turn. several years ago, I made the decision to purge, and mentioned it to my therapist...she said When you need her [ niki ] she will be there. needless to say I kept some things around, and sure enough about8 months later, I needed niki time again to bring me out of a deep depression. Everyone is different... just don't be surprised if your femme side is more ingrained than you know.

hugs Niki

[Jean 103]

I hope it works out for you. I donate to a local women’s shelter thrift store. It's also one of my favorite places to shop. I to have purged. If I could flip a switch and make all this go away I would, on the other hand if that switch went the other way and I could be a GG, I would do it in a hart beat. I again hope this new life works for you.

[Mink]

when is it finally time to purge?

why, whenever you get the urge!

[Tina_gm]

salvation army or some other place of the same idea. or just toss it. ORRRRR.... just hold on it. so many on here who have had collections they now wished they had not purged. But here is what I am saying to you, and what I believe. Whatever you are feeling now is right for you, even if you feel differently later. You want it all out, put it out, so many ways to do it, just throw it in the trash if nothing else. If it is not in the place for your life right now then don't make a place for it, it will call you when it is ready...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Girly Girly, I really don't purge I just thin out what I'm tired of and donate to the thrift stores.:daydreaming:

[Khora]

Umm...can I have them?? :D

[ChristinaK]

I say hold on to it if you can. For most of us, dressing is embedded in our souls and is life long. I have thrown away a few things over the years then regretted it later.

Guilt and the desire to be normal is.strong for some. Me, when I was younger. But now I've come to grips that it is who I am and shouldn't feel guilty about it. I just can not let others know, because they don't understand. That's the whole problem with what we do. How easy it would be if we weren't judged and reviled.

Good luck dude, not girl. Hope the best for you.

[CherylFlint]

Speaking from experience. Been there; Done that.
There is, by the way, a FOURTH choice: a storage unit.
If there is a “First Rule of Crossdressing” is:
Thou Shall NOT Purge!!!
Never purge! Put your stuff in storage and pay the nominal monthly fee. You’ll have peace of mind, trust me on this one.
For SHAME even to consider purging.
Bad idea.
Just put it away, out of mind, if you have to.
It’s no big deal but DO NOT THROW AWAY!!!
SAVE!
Please, don’t do it.
In your case, a storage unit is the way to go. A small storage unit, okay?
Whew!

[Ms.Kenadie]

As someone who has purged numerous times, I would say that the storage option for awhile, maybe a year to make sure that you are on the right path for the way you want to live your life. I haven't been able to go that long after a purge, personally. In the end, do what makes yourself happy. If purging will complete your happiness, by all means do so. I would donate the clothing to Goodwill or the Salvation Army, or even your local church.
I wish you the best of luck and hope sincerely that you have found your way to what works for you. *hugs*

Kenadie

[Kristy 56]

The last time I purged I gave it to charity. Well over a thousand dollars of merchandise,some even with the price tags still on. Hopefully someone who really needed it got to enjoy it as much as I did. Have to say though,I sure wish I'd kept it. Oh well, so goes the life of a CD.