talking while going out - do you?

[Lena]

I'm curious, I don't plan on going out dressed but I hear peoples here talk about it and talk about being offered drinks etc. What voice do you speak in? Is your voice passable? Do you just use sign language? And where are you going? One was talking about going to a bar and playing pool. Are there others crossdressed? Is it a CD Bar?

Sorry, just curious and questioning.


Am I the only CD that hasn't worked on a passable voice?

[Jenniferathome]

Lena, I try to use a softer voice but it is in no way is like, a woman's voice. That is a skill that takes lots of practice. My advice is not worry about your voice because before you speak, in all likelihood, you have been read to be a transsexual or a cross dresser. Up close and in full HD, none of pass, so who cares about the voice? Now, that stated, I prefer to try and soften the voice just it more closely matches my presentation. But I am jot fooling anyone!

here I am a few hours ago in Las Vegas. A couple asked me to take their picture in front of the Mirage. I replied, "Sure." Total strangers from Kansas or wherever looked at me and just asked. They didn't bat an eye. My voice is my last worry;-)

[kimdl93]

I really don't think that it's all that difficult. I speak in a natural, inside voice, maybe a bit higher than my natural tone. I won't offer my picture as Jenn has, and she is btw, way too cute, but I don't see a big deal here. I presume people know I'm genetically male.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Lena,
I've only been out and interacted with people a handful of times.
I have never been to a CD/TG bar or venue. It's always been out
into the "vanilla" world.
Speaking to people is as Jenn@home said, they are close enough to
Already know I'm a guy, so my voice is my normal everyday guy voice.
When you do finally get out do whatever makes you comfy.
Being comfortable will go a long way to boosting confidence, and that's the
most important thing we have to gain acceptance from joe public.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Rachelakld]

I'm a day time girl.

When in the tool section of my hardware shop, some of the lads play a manly role, so I deepen my voice (for fun).
Sometimes they are playing nice, so I use my girl voice.

At the ladies clothes shops, hot girl behind the counter, then my manly voice, mature lady behind the counter my girl voice.

I swap and change depending on which is more fun, or which relaxes the person I'm communicating with (wife likes my normal voice, it re-assures her).

We're here to have fun, and if we leave someone after a relaxed, funny conversation, the world becomes a better place.

[Alice_2014_B]

I haven’t talked to anyone yet when out en femme. A CD friend of mine just uses his normal voice when out; I imagine that is what I will do when I get the chance.
:)

[bridget thronton]

I soften my voice - but I do not have a female voice (even when I do go out dressed - which is only shopping or eating out)

[Suzanne F]

I have to agree that most people already know. However, as I spend more and more time as myself out in the world I am softening my voice. I just want my voice to blend with how I look and move. It's not about passing but smoothing over some rough edges.
Suzanne

[AngelaYVR]

Eventually you will need to say thanks or please or state what you want to drink. I also use a softened version of my voice, nobody is bothered. I think my English accent may help a bit in my subterfuge.

[ReineD]

It took a long time, but my SO did eventually feel comfortable talking to others while out dressed. At first though, she would barely whisper and she would answer using monosyllables. She did work on her voice at home but with no results.

She softens her voice now. She does not try to speak in a falsetto.

Like Jennifer says, by the time people interact with my SO that closely, they know. SAs, restaurant personnel, and other people who provide us with services are always courteous and professional.

There are times when my SO won't speak, for example if we're in an elevator with young children present. No one wants a child to say at the top of their voices, "Mommy, is that a MAN?" Actually if we see kids in the elevator we'll wait for the next one.

Jennifer, you look great!

[paulaprimo]

i have a pretty deep voice also so i do try and soften it as best i can.
i'm constantly practicing the common words at home like: hello, thank you,
vodka and cranberry hold the cranberry and keep them coming...
i also record myself, playing it back many time and making adjustments.
i've noticed that when i'm out and first start speaking with someone, i do
start off with my best femme voice, but after a short time i change back to
my normal voice... lol :)

[Jean 103]

They know, I’ve had people ask me something just to hear me speak, or a waitress lean in because she is expecting a very soft voice. I’ve been working on my voice, speaking a little softer and higher pitch. I slipped into it the other day checking out at Petco in guy mode. The voice is not that big of a thing with being out there. The biggest thing is having the courage to step out, then feeling comfortable with what you’re wearing and your makeup.

[ReineD]

Yes, we've had the same thing too. Other waitresses than our own just coming by, wanting to know if we needed anything. lol.

And of course, people remember us even if we were only there once last year. :)

[pamela7]

my voice changes depending on who i am with, on the phone or in person, I learned to adapt it to their voice tones. singing in the shower is one way to practice voice tone control, we can speak from the bottom of our stomach to the top of our nose, and sexy female voices (for me) are often quite deep and soft.

[Michelle (Oz)]

My story isn't much different i.e. I try to speak a bit softer and quieter but the reality is that I still speak with a male voice. Those with whom I interact aren't surprised.

But willingness to talk in a male voice while presenting femme is very empowering. Interacting with people is what people do and opens opportunities to participate in life as well as the chance to form new friendships. People usually know that I am a male and they're happy talking 'normally' to me. So many great experiences have built my confidence over time. I am a little more circumspect with children and in ladies restrooms but less so with the benefit of positive experiences.

[Marcelle]

Hi Lena,

I can only chime in with what others have said. I spend about 40% of my time in the Vanilla world "en femme" which requires me to interact. I hold no illusions that people see me as anything but "male" but I will soften my voice to match my presentation as I think it just lessens the impact for others. My girl voice is actually my guy voice just softened a bit with more inflexion. I have spent an inordinate amount of time listening to women speak and while some are very guy like in speech patterns (blunt to point tone) many are more melodic with inflexions where guys tend not be. I have found this has helped me develop a more feminine voice albeit slightly lower on the octave scale. The one mistake you should not make is to try and mimic a falsetto voice like Mickey Mouse or Monty Python as that just sounds horrible.

However, as most have said "we aren't fooling anyone" so each has to find their own comfort level when it comes to voice.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Hi Lena,

What was that quote from a famous crossdressing, US statesman...? (I might get this slightly wrong...) "Speak softly, and carry a big handbag.." ;)

My recommendation, speak softly and try to focus more attention on your posture, how you use gestures, and keep smiling... all those physical attributes are relatively easier to adjust, compared with your voice box and vocal chords, both of which have developed in puberty to be significantly and materially different to females. Squeaky falsettos just make us appear as drag queens, IMHO...

Speak normally, but speak softly and clearly - and keep smiling... :)

Katey x

[AllieSF]

Not many people offer to buy me drinks, but otherwise, I try, note "try", to speak softer and in a higher voice. Since I like to and need to talk with others, the higher voice sometimes dies and I resort to my normal voice.

[Khora]

I inhale helium before speaking.

[Lena]

Helium is funny. That would be my best chance. Maybe I could use a couple of balloons for breasts pads.

"i'm constantly practicing the common words at home like: hello, thank you,
vodka and cranberry hold the cranberry and keep them coming...". Not only common words but also practical and important.

[mykell]

hi lena,
this is an older thread, i tried the technique and think it helps, felt i sound like Sandra bullock in the blind side movie,

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?222216-Femme-voice-hey-ti-worked!&highlight=voice

every little thing helps....now if i could copy her look....

[Kate Simmons]

My main hang out is a LGBT resort. I have many friends there of those persuasions. This is where I socialize and have fun dancing, so really no need to go anywhere else. Deep voices and the like are expected there with the focus on being one's self.:)

[Nadine Spirit]

I used to be hesitant about speaking, but all that did was to make the situation weird. I remember that the very first time I went out, some nice SA talked to me about how great the skirt was that I had on, and I don't think I even acknowledged that she spoke. Which was totally rude of me! I had this false notion that if I spoke they would for sure know that I was a guy, not understanding that they already knew that I was a guy and did not care.

Eventually I began to relax and just start speaking with people. I am generally quite the talker and in guy mode I speak with everyone and generally the conversations are quite enjoyable. So now I try and force myself to speak more and people are very receptive as I tend to be outgoing and more conversational style tends to put people at ease.

So.... Do I change my voice? Not really. Maybe I speak a bit softer, but I don't really try and change my voice. Naturally speaking, regardless of how I am dressed, people often think I have kind of a fem way of speaking. People have often asked my wife what is up with the way that speak. They specifically ask why does it sound as though I am asking a question. I worry sometimes when out with friends, like with Jenn and her wife, if they think I am trying too hard to speak in a feminine manner. I want to say to people, yeah well, when I am feeling relaxed around people that I enjoy, this is how I talk regardless of how I am dressed.

But by no means is my voice mistaken as a womans. I just speak a bit differently is all.

[Dianne S]

Yes, I speak when I go out. My natural male voice is not too deep and I'm practicing doing a female voice at home. I don't really know if I pass, but when servers say to me and my friend "What can I get you, ladies?" and I reply, they don't seem taken aback at all.

I don't try to raise my pitch very much; that comes out sounding weird. Instead I try to make the voice come from higher in my body (my throat). Guys have quite a bit of chest resonance and if you can minimize that, you can have a much more convincing female voice.

[Ceera]

Guess I am in the minority here. I approach going out en-femme as an acting role, and I strive to present as well as I can. Before I ever tried going out in public, I sought out on-line lessons on how to feminize your voice. I spent a couple months working on my voice before I felt it was good enough. Now I do a girl voice well enough to be 'read' as female over the phone, without identifying my gender in the call. So when I go out as Ceera, of course I talk! And I do my best to stay in-character and use my female voice and mannerisms whenever I am being Ceera.

I will admit, the first several times I was nervous. But as others here said, we all usually have other ways in which we get read as a CD, so if the voice isn't perfect, it's not that big a deal.

[Janet161]

I am not good at changing my voice but I do try to soften it a little. That is not very practical in a bar or club with loud music. When I have conversations with people I just speak in my normal voice. Its much easier.

[Allisa]

I am the same as the others I soften and use a less monotone cadence, manners of course, smile and feel comfortable with myself. If I'm a ease than I can put others at ease and my clothing is a non-issue. I don't go to bars, and I don't go out as much as I would like to but when I do I go to the usual venues.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm very gregarious by nature and get very "yakky" when I'm excited. Being out dressed is exciting! Need I say more? I do make a little bit of an effort to tone it down a bit, but far too often an exuberant belly laugh escapes my semi-reluctant lips!

[Cheryl James]

I do not raise my pitch. I do try to speak softer. Unfortunately, I have not had enough opportunities to experiment. I suspect that I would fool anyone, though, unless they had trouble seeing clearly.

[Beverley Sims]

Mine is not passable but softly spoken works for me.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

On one or two occasions, I had been told my voice was pretty good, but I don't believe it is at all. I guess I'm used to it, because I hear it every day, and it sounds like, well... me. I usually just speak in my normal voice, and don't care too much about it. How they treat me is more important than trying to produce anything even remotely feminine, and sounding silly. :)

[Barbara Black]

I was wondering if talking more 'feminine' while talking to my granddaughter would be good practice?

[cdncdwife]

There are some really useful vids on Youtube about this so have a look. I agree that softening your voice and making it a little more 'sing-song' is good. The thing you need most is practice. Maybe get a bluetooth headset and you can be talking to yourself in the car and everyone around you will just assume you're on the phone. No matter how good or bad you think you are, your confidence is the most important thing. Be comfortable, have fun, let us know how you do :)

[Sarah Doepner]

I soften my voice, try to change some of the inflection and try to bring it up to the back of my throat a little more. It helps, but not enough for anyone to think I was born female. I believe, as others have said, it's nice to be able to take some of the rough edges off and make it easier for whoever you are speaking to to understand you are trying to do something difficult but with respect. Their response is usually more positive and that makes any converstation much easier.

Whenever I feel my voice is too low I compare it to Bea Arthur, who was also about 6 feet tall, and discover she was an octive or two below me. It's a lot of speaking patterns, mannerisms and inflections that make much of the difference. Well that and looking female. Here is a link to a series of clips from "The Golden Girls" that feature Bea speaking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgjUGQ3UlQk

[Michelle (Oz)]

I was wondering if talking more 'feminine' while talking to my granddaughter would be good practice?
Why, is she deaf? :) jk

[justmetoo]

Like many others, I was reluctant to speak when I first started going out, but it's unavoidable, especially since I usually go out alone. I may try to soften my voice a little, but I'm not good at voices, so it's mostly just me speaking as I normally do. Also like others said, people know I'm not GG before I even open my mouth to speak, so I don't worry about it. If I don't pass for female I can at least pass for friendly and find most people seem to respond well to that. :)

[flatlander_48]

So far I have not invested any effort in voice training. I suspect it will be quite some time before I do, if ever. That said, my natural voice is masculine, but not overtly so...

DeeAnn

[CD_Princess1234]

I gave up trying to alter the voice because it is not a natural tone. I allow the softness to come out but I don't try to mask it. People see thru fake.

[Kate T]

I very much doubt that ANY CD seriously can have a "female" voice and most TS unless they transition young probably have giveaways in their voice as well.

Try reading "The Lazy Crossdresser" by Jane Anders. It is a really good empowering book for teaching you to think "f... it, I don't sound like a woman but who really cares?".

[Adriana Moretti]

I use my regular voice...... luckily it's not deep to begin with......and I noticed the majority of other gals who are out & about in public pretty much all do the same toono matter how deep their voice may be xoxo

[NicoleScott]

I inhale helium before speaking.

To be convincing, maybe we should type using superscript font.

Natural but softer for me. Falsetto screams MAN!

[jamielynn_ca]

... One was talking about going to a bar and playing pool. Are there others crossdressed? Is it a CD Bar? ...



Sounds like this might refer to me? <smile>

But yes where I frequent when I can is a TG & gay bar, where almost any day of the week you'll find a few TS and CD girls. Some, primarily the TS girls, have feminized their voices quite well, some haven't but it's a relatively safe place to both learn and experiment. I've tried a little, and find myself almost naturally altering my speech patterns and inflections, but not pitch.

[Jorja]

Back in the early days I was much like all of you. My voice was deep and not ladylike at all. It took a long time to develop my new voice to the point where not an eye is batted when I speak and I have addressed a room with well over 1000 people in it. I never went to the LGBT places because they were few and far between unless you were in a big city. I found that if I just talked softer, worked on changing some of the inflection, and was friendly, I rarely had any problem with the cisfolks. Mind you, there is always that one asshole in the crowd.

My suggestion is, RELAX and have fun with it.

[aprilgirl]

I'm fine with talking in public, and like others, merely try to "soften" my voice. My feeling is, if someone is close enough to converse with me, they already know as there are too many visual tells to hide.