I'm outing myself.... sort of....

[VirtuaGrl]

So you may notice, I have updated my avatar and profile picture with an actual picture of ME! I just posted the original image (slightly cropped and reduced in size per forum rules) in the Pictures forum (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?225755-Be-kind) (hope I did it right), but it got me to wondering....

I have always been extremely guarded about my picture being taken and/or posted of me while dressed. I have lived with anonymity safely behind my computer screen and have been nothing more than a name or handle (until recently, "she" didn't really have a name). I am not out to my friends and family, but stranger things have happened on the internet than one totally unrelated post or picture finding its way to someone that knows me IRL and I'm not sure I'm ready to have that conversation with anyone that doesn't know. I suppose in some ways it would be a relief not to be hidden, but it's still pretty scary, you know? I know that here, it's relatively safe as if you're a member here you either are transgender (wherever you may fall on that spectrum) or an SO of a tg, a friend of a tg, or an admirer.

Anyway, I was wondering, has anyone here ever seen a picture posted here and suddenly realized that they knew the person in the picture where before they didn't have a face to put to the name?

[MarcellaMcNul]

I have never seen anyone on this site or any other and suspected I might know their true identity. I also have not had any reason to believe that I have been outed by the internet.

[Annaliese]

I felt the some way when I post my first picture, and it always a concern. You look beautiful, and most could not recognize you.

[Beverley Sims]

I have not recognised anyone that I don't already know.
No strangers have outed me and likewise I would not out them anyway.

[Rachael Leigh]

Never seen anyone here that even remotely looked like anyone I knew. Yes I agree with your fear but Ive always felt if they are here or stumble upon my picture and think they know me well then way were they looking

[mykell]

hello..
generally i only share my most personal thoughts and photos in member only sections of the site,
anyone doing a search can find posts here in the open part of the forum so for the most part i keep things private including my avatar in this section, but i have shared once in a while
cant keep any member that chooses from copying them but i doubt that is really a concern.....

[Amy Lynn3]

I feel we have a very slim chance of being discovered as who we really are. I have met many members from this site in guy mode. I have saw there pictures on here in femme mode. My observation is...their would not be a chance on Gods green earth I could see them both as the same person.

In real life it would be hard for me to look at my small Avatar and say, hey, that's me and I know who I am.:2c:

[Kate Simmons]

I seriously doubt that unless we are really really close to someone we would recognize them on here without face recognition software and even then it may be iffy. So we are relatively safe posting en femme pics here unless someone is really out to get us and expose us to the world. :)

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Virtualgirl


I have been here for a long time and was as nervous as you are when I first put up an avatar.

I have never heard of anyone being outed by posting a picture here.

[VirtuaGrl]

Thank you for the encouraging words, ladies. I know the odds are slim of anyone I know IRL coming across this site and discovering my hobby. And I know that when done up, at first glance almost no one is recognizable as their boy-selves (short of those of us that are halfway towards transitioning or not concerned about hiding it to begin with). In fact, that's why I opted to post this particular image because it is almost unrecognizable to me as me. My personal measure of a successful transformation is when I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself as my boy-self, but only see Alaina.

[Ceera]

Honestly, who would be likely to look at any posts here if they weren't already exposed to this lifestyle? Either they would have an interest in crossdressing, or they would have a SO, friend or family member that they already know is crossdressing. So not too likely that anyone here would see your posts here and connect them with the real you, unless they already knew or were already disposed to this life.

I did almost get outed by Facebook. Created a page for my female self, and was fairly careful not to put anything in the profile that could relate to my male self other than the same city and state. But did have photos of my female self. But them I made the mistake of friending my female account from my male account, so I could catch it if anyone posted to the female account's wall. And unexpectedly got a friend request on the girl side from a male side FB Friend, who apparently got a 'people you may know' referral to my girl side from Facebook. I immediately unfriended the female page from my male page, and deleted the friend request and restricted the profile photos of my girl self on the female page. Fortunately, it is now a month later, and that male friend never has mentioned to me about the Friend request or seeing a FB page for my female self.

[wanda66]

I too had concerns. This site is were i can express my self now . I have no idea if I'll ever get out but here you are among people who you can relate too it feels wonderful to actually say yes i love to dress like a woman,and get positive feed back....

[Jennifer0874]

I have similar concerns, but will most likely at least post an avatar pic.

I don't think people wind up on this site without some interest in crossdressing.

[Sarah Louise]

The chances of anyone who knows you seeing a picture in the members' area is very slim. If we assume there's about 500 million people in the English speaking world and only 5000 active members on this site then the chances of someone who knows you seeing your picture is about 1 in 100,000!

Even, if they did see your picture they probably wouldn't recognise you and even if they did they would probably be a fellow CDer or sympathic SO.

Of course, put the picture on your avatar and the odds reduce, but it still remains unlikely, especially if like me, your avatar is far enough from the camera to make the picture less clear.

I should probably get out more.........

[Sarah-RT]

I only uploaded my first picture a few weeks ago, having been a member on and off for several years.

I found it a level of relief, a little bit of fear and everything else inbetween. My phone has pictures of me on it too and I always get alarmed if a friend asks to use it but like my profile picture, if someone discovers it they will either say nothing, or ask about it. If they are asking, we're making progress

[Krisi]

I've never recognized anyone from this site. It is my hope and belief that when made up as Krisi, nobody would recognize me from a photo or even in person unless they had a hint such as seeing me walk out of my front door or being somewhere with my wife.

Still, I'm not going to post a photo and have it floating around on the Internet, uncontrolled by me.

[Marcelle]

Hi VG ... well for the most part I doubt most people you know are lurking here on the off chance they might spy someone they know dressed "en femme". Even if that miniscule probability occurred, it is even less likely they would recognize you. However, Krisi does make a good point when it comes to posting pics . . . once they are in cyber space, you no longer control them. So think carefully about what you post and if you are not fussed about losing control of said picture then post away . . . my two cents.

Hugs

Isha

[SheriM]

A person once posted their home town and graduation year. It was my home town and she was one year younger than me. I could not place her but we had similar interests. It was puzzling that I did not know who she was. I did send a PM once but we did not connect. She was in the process of making the total change from M to F. I certainly don't want to be outed but it would have been nice to share some time with her. SheriM

[VirtuaGrl]

Isha and Krisi, it is exactly the lack of control over said pictures that explains why I have been so hesitant to post in the past. However, like, Krisi, I am hoping that my makeup skills have progressed enough now that when dressed and done with my makeup, I would hope I am minimally recognizable anymore.

Your story, Sheri, is exactly what I was wondering about. I wondered if anyone had been recognized or if they recognized anybody else. Given your story is the first anyone has shared, it certainly sounds like it is a rare occurrence. Like you, I wouldn't necessarily want to be outed, but if someone did contact me from this site that said they went to the same school I went to at about the same time, I would love knowing someone else that experienced that time like I did.

[Sarah Doepner]

I have not recognised anyone that I don't already know.
No strangers have outed me and likewise I would not out them anyway.

Same here. And since we pick and choose which photos we post, most of us pick the one that is least like our male image. The only exception to this is found in the boy mode/ girl mode photo thread and even in there I've never been recognized by anyone I know in real life nor have I see anyone I didn't already know. This isn't to say it won't happen, but in 8 years it hasn't happend to me yet.

[Sometimes Steffi]

First of all, the avatars are available to the general public courtesy of Google. The profile pics are restricted to member only, not that that a very high bar. There have bee some pictures stolen from here and cross posted on other sites, but I think the offender was ordered to cease and desist, so to speak.

The first picture of me in cyberspace was taken by a friend and posted on the Internet. I asked her, and even pleaded with her to take it down. I even gave her a cropped version without me in it. She basically refused to take it down.

But in some sense, it was good for me in that it broke the ice. I now have quite a number of pics on the Internet, very few of which I posted, and many that were taken in a casual setting without me knowing. I don't care anymore. I think I'm rather incognito in femme mode, and if someone fins me, I would ask them what were they doing THERE. As they say, the best defense is a good offence.