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Closeted Kat
03-12-2015, 06:00 PM
Just thought i'd share with all of you how my views of this slice of life have changed and through what i waded through to get to where i am now. Hopefully others can relate to my story. I wrote this down as a general musing but just felt so positive about things i thought i would share.

My change in views on crossdressing, the gender spectrum, and sexual orientations:
When younger I thought of crossdressing as used for comedic effect like in comedies. I also had seen the poor photoshop pictures and shameful looking pictures on the internet leaving with the idea that if it wasn’t for comedy it was a sad and somewhat unsettling affair. The terms transvestite, transsexual, transgender, and ******* all seemed intertwined with pornography and the skeevy parts of the underworld, as well as having something to do with homosexuality. Sexual orientation was heterosexual or homosexual, and homosexuality was demonized and immoral, wrong, and a dangerous realm of disease.

As of today I’ve experimented and found that I am a crossdresser, there is nothing wrong with wearing clothing that is associated with a specific gender other than my birth gender. This was not an immediate change in thought either. Upon entering the possibility of entertaining I might be a cross dresser I tried to find more information about what it truly means. I started scared, still believing the original ideas that it was wrong, and much of the internet is full of porn, erotic fiction, misinformation, and other things that would lead me to believe that cross dressers are sex workers, love anal play, and are in relationships where they are forced into subservience by domination eventually leading to being a submissive gay man in women’s clothing. Needless to say I was now scared that this was what was going to happen to me, and it did not sound appealing. Finally in my searching I stumbled upon some more pleasant sites where I got to read about real people’s feelings, struggles, and more positive experiences, as well as the differentiation of terms. I have since joined the most impressive of these sites as a way to learn, grow, and understand my own feelings better. Though I’ve only been at this for less than a year my views on things have changed for the better, and my own personal feelings in relation to what I do has improved and been reinforced by the support of others on the same journey.

I now feel that gender is not black and white, male or female, whether willing to admit it or not we all contain some traits or feelings associated with that of a stereotypical pole on the “gender spectrum” which if were a line chart would have male and female on opposite ends with the middle being something like androgynous or gender non-descript. I’ve also learned this has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation, regardless of how a person wishes to express their gender on the spectrum, the gender of those they wish to share their love with does not have a predesigned pairing based on their expressed gender. It is possible for a genetic male to express and live as a female and be attracted to females, its possible for genetic females to express and live as males and be attracted to females or even associate as the opposite gender of their born gender and enjoy those of their born gender, as well as people who associate as either gender and enjoy anyone regardless of expressed gender. There is nothing wrong with loving those whom you share your mutual affection, we are all people, and that which we use to classify our gender or orientation are but mere words and arbitrary designations designed because humans like to classify things to feel like they better understand them, even if they don’t. I wish there were some way to thank everyone for helping me find out these things.

-Kat

aussie cd
03-12-2015, 06:04 PM
very hard to read Kat
can I recommend using paragraphs?
just saying

Beverley Sims
03-12-2015, 06:12 PM
Kat,
Unlike you I have been doing it too long to even recognise a change in views.

Yes get back in there and split it up a bit, it is a good article that more would read if you broke it up a bit.

Just hit that edit button. :)

Allisa
03-12-2015, 06:17 PM
Sounds like an awaking and/ or a large step towards acceptance, the best thanx is being the best you can be, IMHO.

flatlander_48
03-12-2015, 06:27 PM
I'd say that while my views in general have not changed, what has changed is my thoughts about where I fit in. But, there are MANY roads to town. CK, you took one, I took another. Either one is probably not useful for the other...

DeeAnn

Kandi Robbins
03-12-2015, 06:49 PM
Kat, great post! I know I went through a similar evolution and awakening. Understanding that not all wives are as accepting as mine has been, my wife's unconditional acceptance of my crossdressing and active participation (giving me shoes and various items, critiquing various outfit choices, watching my "fashion shows", giving me coupons, etc.) has transformed me as a man, really opened my mind, heart and soul to people and life in general. If we all just love each other and ourselves (not always easy, I know), we realize we are all just human beings looking to be happy and accepted. I never saw that myself before accepting that I was a crossdresser.

Kate Simmons
03-12-2015, 06:50 PM
I don't know if it ever really was "black and white" Hon.That is an illusion that seems to keep being perpetuated. I just basically respect everyone for who they are as a person, that is the person I relate to and know and care for. :)

Closeted Kat
03-12-2015, 08:37 PM
i appreciate the comments. I am glad I'm not the only one here who had misconceptions from a lack of knowledge. I hope many people that have misinformed notions like i did can be helped to see more of whats out there. I think in general it would make the world a better place.
-kat

flatlander_48
03-12-2015, 08:41 PM
Sadly, I don't think so. They are not seeking to challenge what they currently think. The groove that they are resting in fits and is well-worn. There is no reason to consider anything any different...

DeeAnn

Natalie cupcake
03-12-2015, 10:21 PM
I also use to think cross dressing felt wrong when I was younger. I was scared that something was wrong with me. As I got older and with the support of my wife Ive come to except and enjoy cross dressing.

There is nothing wrong with being your true self!!

Love Natalie cupcake

pantynlace
03-12-2015, 10:55 PM
Nicely expressed Kat. I have had many of the same thoughts you expressed over that last 40 years, over and over again. It is and continues to be a struggle for some, and viewed by some as weird fetish and others hate you for expressing yourself.

Adriana Moretti
03-13-2015, 02:36 AM
very well said........you are one cool Kat in my book xoxo

Ms.Kenadie
03-13-2015, 03:00 AM
Very well said, Kat!

You have come further than myself it seems. I come around here a lot to read and learn a bit about other peoples experiences and compare them with my own views and outlooks on my life and the whys and wherefors so to speak about what I do. Right now, all I have determined is that I am more of an underdresser, as I will not pass as a woman, but I do think that in accepting this I have become a bit more open to issues regarding my urge to dress and what others like us face in todays world.

I read a lot period, and see that LGBGT (sp) issues are not just within me, it is everywhere, and becoming more prevalent everyday. It makes me happy that sometime in the future, others will not have to go through what myself and others before me have went through when it comes to being transgendered or whatever we classify ourselves as today.

pamela7
03-13-2015, 03:48 AM
Thank you Kat, it takes courage to admit that one was prejudiced, even if no longer. Part of life's development is to go through "right and wrong" type attitudes, and maturing one becomes ever-more accepting - unless the development is arrested. I knew nothing of cross-dressing, i did not even know the term "cross-dresser" existed, I knew of "transvestites" but nothing about, and yet I underdressed (not even knowing that word either). Then our daughter "came out" to us as a male in a female body and started wearing male clothes. We accepted him/her as he/she is, and let it all play out, including their partner who was the same (f2m tg). As their behaviours were all feminine as far as I could see, I saw them more with humour as girls-dressing-as-boys rather than as boys in girls bodies. Realising how much happier that I am dressed, why would I find anything wrong in someone finding happiness? Whoever/whatever floats your boat is fine with me, as long as its not actually causing harm (abusive). But then I've always been a "live and let live" type of person, and am surprised when neighbours think they can say what I do on my land or not.

charlenesomeone
03-13-2015, 04:17 AM
Time has a way to change ones point of view as well as connecting to
those whom we may have avoided in the past. As long as you are a better
person, it is a worthwhile thing.

Jaymees22
03-13-2015, 01:27 PM
Kat, Very well stated and I think I have progressed along similar lines but haven't been able to express it as well as you have. Thanks Jaymee