Closeted Kat
03-12-2015, 06:00 PM
Just thought i'd share with all of you how my views of this slice of life have changed and through what i waded through to get to where i am now. Hopefully others can relate to my story. I wrote this down as a general musing but just felt so positive about things i thought i would share.
My change in views on crossdressing, the gender spectrum, and sexual orientations:
When younger I thought of crossdressing as used for comedic effect like in comedies. I also had seen the poor photoshop pictures and shameful looking pictures on the internet leaving with the idea that if it wasn’t for comedy it was a sad and somewhat unsettling affair. The terms transvestite, transsexual, transgender, and ******* all seemed intertwined with pornography and the skeevy parts of the underworld, as well as having something to do with homosexuality. Sexual orientation was heterosexual or homosexual, and homosexuality was demonized and immoral, wrong, and a dangerous realm of disease.
As of today I’ve experimented and found that I am a crossdresser, there is nothing wrong with wearing clothing that is associated with a specific gender other than my birth gender. This was not an immediate change in thought either. Upon entering the possibility of entertaining I might be a cross dresser I tried to find more information about what it truly means. I started scared, still believing the original ideas that it was wrong, and much of the internet is full of porn, erotic fiction, misinformation, and other things that would lead me to believe that cross dressers are sex workers, love anal play, and are in relationships where they are forced into subservience by domination eventually leading to being a submissive gay man in women’s clothing. Needless to say I was now scared that this was what was going to happen to me, and it did not sound appealing. Finally in my searching I stumbled upon some more pleasant sites where I got to read about real people’s feelings, struggles, and more positive experiences, as well as the differentiation of terms. I have since joined the most impressive of these sites as a way to learn, grow, and understand my own feelings better. Though I’ve only been at this for less than a year my views on things have changed for the better, and my own personal feelings in relation to what I do has improved and been reinforced by the support of others on the same journey.
I now feel that gender is not black and white, male or female, whether willing to admit it or not we all contain some traits or feelings associated with that of a stereotypical pole on the “gender spectrum” which if were a line chart would have male and female on opposite ends with the middle being something like androgynous or gender non-descript. I’ve also learned this has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation, regardless of how a person wishes to express their gender on the spectrum, the gender of those they wish to share their love with does not have a predesigned pairing based on their expressed gender. It is possible for a genetic male to express and live as a female and be attracted to females, its possible for genetic females to express and live as males and be attracted to females or even associate as the opposite gender of their born gender and enjoy those of their born gender, as well as people who associate as either gender and enjoy anyone regardless of expressed gender. There is nothing wrong with loving those whom you share your mutual affection, we are all people, and that which we use to classify our gender or orientation are but mere words and arbitrary designations designed because humans like to classify things to feel like they better understand them, even if they don’t. I wish there were some way to thank everyone for helping me find out these things.
-Kat
My change in views on crossdressing, the gender spectrum, and sexual orientations:
When younger I thought of crossdressing as used for comedic effect like in comedies. I also had seen the poor photoshop pictures and shameful looking pictures on the internet leaving with the idea that if it wasn’t for comedy it was a sad and somewhat unsettling affair. The terms transvestite, transsexual, transgender, and ******* all seemed intertwined with pornography and the skeevy parts of the underworld, as well as having something to do with homosexuality. Sexual orientation was heterosexual or homosexual, and homosexuality was demonized and immoral, wrong, and a dangerous realm of disease.
As of today I’ve experimented and found that I am a crossdresser, there is nothing wrong with wearing clothing that is associated with a specific gender other than my birth gender. This was not an immediate change in thought either. Upon entering the possibility of entertaining I might be a cross dresser I tried to find more information about what it truly means. I started scared, still believing the original ideas that it was wrong, and much of the internet is full of porn, erotic fiction, misinformation, and other things that would lead me to believe that cross dressers are sex workers, love anal play, and are in relationships where they are forced into subservience by domination eventually leading to being a submissive gay man in women’s clothing. Needless to say I was now scared that this was what was going to happen to me, and it did not sound appealing. Finally in my searching I stumbled upon some more pleasant sites where I got to read about real people’s feelings, struggles, and more positive experiences, as well as the differentiation of terms. I have since joined the most impressive of these sites as a way to learn, grow, and understand my own feelings better. Though I’ve only been at this for less than a year my views on things have changed for the better, and my own personal feelings in relation to what I do has improved and been reinforced by the support of others on the same journey.
I now feel that gender is not black and white, male or female, whether willing to admit it or not we all contain some traits or feelings associated with that of a stereotypical pole on the “gender spectrum” which if were a line chart would have male and female on opposite ends with the middle being something like androgynous or gender non-descript. I’ve also learned this has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation, regardless of how a person wishes to express their gender on the spectrum, the gender of those they wish to share their love with does not have a predesigned pairing based on their expressed gender. It is possible for a genetic male to express and live as a female and be attracted to females, its possible for genetic females to express and live as males and be attracted to females or even associate as the opposite gender of their born gender and enjoy those of their born gender, as well as people who associate as either gender and enjoy anyone regardless of expressed gender. There is nothing wrong with loving those whom you share your mutual affection, we are all people, and that which we use to classify our gender or orientation are but mere words and arbitrary designations designed because humans like to classify things to feel like they better understand them, even if they don’t. I wish there were some way to thank everyone for helping me find out these things.
-Kat