A confusing decision

[Marcie]

Recently I had the opportunity that many closeted CD's would love to have. My wife was away, out of the country for a month. As many of you would appreciate the wonderful time of dressing in all your beautiful feminine outfits, 24 hours a day, I felt the same. The first few days were fantastic. I took very careful care to dress in a manner that would be acceptable in the outside world. Yes I did venture out in a shopping mall and then to a nice little coffee shop. I was very proud of my accomplishments. The next few days I was happy just to dress and enjoy myself at home. After approximately ten days, I just couldn't be bothered dressing enfemme again, so I returned to my normal male clothes once again. My wife arrived home after her month away and things went back to our usual routine. However since my first ten days of freedom, I have lost the desire to dress as "Marcie", which I personally feel very confused about. I am enjoying myself in my male personification. At this time I am wondering if it is all over and will I never have the desire to go back to my feminine desires. Should I purge all my female attire and just go on with a normal life. Before I do that I will give myself about three months to see if the "pink fog" returns. HELP!! I need advice.:sad:

[KlaireLarnia]

I wonder if this is simply a case of too much in one go. AS the saying goes: all things in moderation and perhaps you burnt yourself out in that sense, rather than limiting what you wore and the time you wore it you jumped in with both feet, figured out you could swim and then thought - okay... now what??? With no goal or objective you where lost and thus went back to "normal".

Perhaps the answer is moderation. Dressing using elements but not everything and see if that rekindles the spark.

[bridget thronton]

Your desire to dress is likely to return - but if not perhaps wait a few month before you purge

[charlenesomeone]

Don't purge , if you need to, box up and store away for now.
Sounds like a case of CDOD.
Dressius Maximus, often causes withdrawal symptoms follow after a time
with a return normal pattern.

[vicky_cd99_2]

Sweetie don't purge unless it is to redo your wardrobe. I have gotten rid of so much money and things, mainly shoes, I can't replace every time I purged. The desire comes back no matter how hard you try to repress it, It usually comes back even stronger. Box your thing up and store them away. We you finally give back into the desires you have something to start with and don't have to worry about the initial start up expense. I have went no more than a year at the longest that the desire came back after a purge. Now it goes in a box when the urge to purge shows up.

[aprilgirl]

By all means, don't toss anything out. The desire to express yourself as Marcie will indeed return, and unless you really like to shop and spend, keep what you have. Cross dressing can be somewhat cyclical to many, including myself, and that's coming from a dresser with a supportive wife.

[Marcelle]

Hi Marcie,

I can only echo what others have said . . . don't purge as I am sure your desire to dress will return. I suspect what you are experience is the "feel good" saturation point. Remember, getting completely done up is taxing and when you do it several days in a row, well it can become bothersome (hence your shift to just dressing casual at home to boy mode). If you want to test the waters . . . box your stuff, find a good storage point and wait and see. Should the feeling return sooner than later you will have ready access to Marcie . . . should it disappear for a few years (I have heard this from others who water here), then Marcie is still waiting for you.

Hugs

Isha

[Adriana Moretti]

yea that urge is coming back........sounds like an overdose......it may be next month, or next year but its coming back....hold on to your stuff, your wallet will thank you.....

[Amy Lynn3]

Marcie, follow the advise of all the others and don't toss the cloths. The urge to dress will never go away, but at times it will become dormant for awhile. That is advise from a old cder....:2c:

[audreyinalbany]

I've never had the opportunity to dress fro more than a day or two at a go, but I do feel that after a day I've sort of 'topped off my crossdressing tank." After a full day dressed, the urge typically downs' come back for a couple of weeks. But, sooner or later, it always does come back.

[CynthiaD]

What you're feeling is quite normal. With ten days of continuous dressing you have moved beyond the "just for fun" phase into something else. This is a new experience for you, and you have to figure out how you feel about it. Don't do anything drastic until you're sure you've figured it out.

If you dress every day for a long period, then your female clothing will become your "normal" clothing. Your interactions with society will be as a female. The female role will become ordinary, not something special. Are you comfortable with that? If you want your dressing to remain "special" then you should probably limit your dressing to special occasions. But there is that other choice. You've seen it, and you need to figure out how you feel about it.

All the best.

Cynthia

[Stephanie47]

I think everyone will concur that you should not purge. It's an expense proposition to purge. First, all the $$$ are gone-poof. But, also all the fond memories of selecting and buying the en femme wardrobe are within those clothes. I'd store them neatly for awhile.

As to the lack of desire. I think you probably had some pent up desire to dress, especially for a long period of time. And, you also had the opportunity to venture out amongst the populace en femme. Once you did that, well, I suspect it's like a deflating balloon. When I retired I had many more hours to be en femme. My wife is still working. Everyday I dressed up. Unless there was something that needed to be done around the house I did nothing else. Outside chores were deferred. After several months my pent up desires were expended. Now, I dress when I want and I have nothing that needs to be done outside the house and backyard. I get plenty of en femme time, but, I also get all my chores and projects done en homme, too! Our daughter had gone to school in the mid west and stayed there after graduation. My wife went to stay with her for seven to ten days each fall. That gave me the opportunity to be en femme 24/7. I did venture out for strolls. I enjoyed it for awhile, but, it became a drag (no pun intended). Our daughter relocate back home (35 miles away). My wife is planning a trip to the southwest to see a family member. I'm looking forward to her trip, so I can experience 24/7 again and an evening venture. I enjoyed those 24/7 times because it gave me a lot of freedom, and, I truly loved looking at my favorite dresses and slips hanging in the closet, not stored away in Xerox boxes.

So, don't purge. Keep the clothes and wait to see if Marcie will return, although maybe at a reduced desire. If you're onto this site for a long time, sometimes it seems a person must "keep up with the Jones." Goat your own pace.

[Princess Chantal]

Perhaps you found that the satisfaction that your crossdressing desires were met not by the quantity of dressing sessions, but the quality of a session or two or a few.

[Katey888]

Marcie - Don't Panic! :)

As you say, you've experienced something that many of us may never get to experience, and you've perhaps had the opportunity to understand where your limits of desire and satisfaction lie - nothing more than that... So you know purging would be the daftest thing to do - you'll need some of that stuff for when the opportunity or desire presents again, but next time you may just want to spread Marcie's time out a little more or perhaps choose to do some specific things you've wanted to... Seems to me you've just discovered how much of a part-time girl you want to be, but that may be a useful thing to know... :)

Pack it all up - maybe cull a few things you're not so enamoured of - and wait until the next time... :daydreaming:

You know it makes sense!

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

Marcie,
It probably won't take three months.
Having your wife back is the other interest that occupies your life.
When you were dressing the novelty wore thin and you then took up other interests.

One day you will see an outfit in a window or on a female walking by and you will want to do "it" again.

Don't fret, it happens to all of us.

I am speaking from experience here.

[DonnaP]

Never had a full month but sure would like to try. As for purging I would say give it a few months. I thought I was done a couple of times and next thing you know I back out shopping for all new things Bras Heels etc. Love the new clothes but miss a lot of the old. Can be very costly. So be patient if your done you will know soon enough. Good Luck and be patient.

[Amanda M]

Do you know how it feels to pig out on an entire tub of ice cream? Same thing. Overload. Just lay back, don't purge, and it will come back!

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hi Marcie,
You accidentally took the red pill, didn’t you?
If you have read any of these posts you know what a bad idea it is to purge and that this feelings may lay dormant for a bit, but they just do not go away………….Oh wait I just looked back at your avatar and wow love that jacket….What size are you? Just changed my mind, purge yes PURGE, hold on Hon, let me get you my address… ……………Okay I’ll be good. I think you have noticed an over whelming and unanimous bit of advice here. You may have just overdosed or going through a faze, we’ve all been there, but it is best to box it up for now and I bet you will thank yourself later.

[Maria 60]

It's almost like when you want to do something so bad and you just can't wait, and then when you get there you ask yourself now what. I sometime have to wait weeks to get opportunity to dress in full and then when the time comes I am all dressed to the nines and then look around and ask myself, now what? So then the feeling to fully dress goes away for a while and then a few weeks go by and start looking for the next chance to fully dress. Never purge, never. I did once and lost some really nice things I can't replace and now if I do go through something like that I pack it up and see where the road leads from there. I hope I helped you a little.

[Marcie]

I really appreciate all of you that responded to my call for help. I know from past experiences that the urge to become feminine comes back. I have purged in the past trying to become a better man with no desires for returning to the CD scene. Yes, the desire returns with no control. I have had to start all over at an expense which should have been avoided. At this time I am following all the advice, my friends on this site have given me. I will approach this confusing decision with a lot of caution, not being hasty in my thoughts of purging. You are all right my feminine desires will probably return

[Brandy Mathews]

Marcie,
I think that you should not purge all your things. I would say that the "pink fog" will return. Some of us have purged our things and have regretted doing it later, having to buy new things later. But we do love to shop, lol.
Hugs,
Bree:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Marcie, You just burnt yourself out, O'yes it will return with a vengeance. :daydreaming:

[MissTee]

Just because you can dress does not mean you "have" to. Don't purge. After another long, dry spell of not dressing you are going to want to again. If you are in a position to, the best approach is to dress on a regular cadence rather than to yo-yo dressing and not dressing. That has helped me tremendously.

[CD_Princess1234]

I'll tell you it is a common reaction to feel it's over after you have been able to dress as often as you care. The "pink fog" you came out again. It always does and the desire to do it again will be staring you in the mirror. We all have been there and it doesn't just turn off. I'll say if you purge ... you'll buy it back. If you store eventually it will be calling you to try it on.

We are who we are. It's a feeling or a way of life.

Don't purge

[Isabella Ross]

Marcie, lots of great advice on this thread. Obviously I would echo that...don't purge. As Amanda said, you ate the whole tub of ice cream. But what I will add is that you, or anyone else considering purging, should ask yourself, "Why am I considering purging?" You know your desire will return; you know that it's expensive to rebuild a wardrobe. So why consider something so drastic? I think the answer is that you're still experiencing some residual guilt about who you are...and that's what you should find a way to reconcile and deal with, once and for all.

[Helen_Highwater]

I would suspect that prior to your month's "Home alone" opportunities to dress were more limited and like the children we are we all want what we can't have so the desire is always there. Couple that to not wanting the transition it's easy to see how dressing day in, day out can become just plain boring especially the effort it can take.

I'm with the others; don't purge. I've had times when I could dress 6-8 hours a day, every weekday and by day 3 the shine has gone off it and I couldn't be bothered. But the desire always resurfaces as I'm sure yours will.

[Erika Lyne]

Dressius Maximus, often causes withdrawal symptoms follow after a time
with a return normal pattern.

Hey Marci,

As you've read and experienced before, don't purge. It is never worth it. CDing comes back with a vengeance. As CharleneSomeone has stated, Dresius Maximus is overwhelming even for most women. I suspect that's why many chose not to get all made up every day. It just takes so much energy and effort. I have never had the opportunity to dress as long as you but I can relate. I do enjoy it but the time it takes to get prepared is very frustrating.

Here's a suggestion that seems to have been overlooked in this thread. Rather than purge, as I am sure you are not considering, and rather than put everything deep away, how about wearing something subtle but femine every day. Make it your new normal. Many under dress daily as their normal. It is a small way to be true to yourself and not to suffer from "Dressius Maximus." I started with underdressing to change my normal and now I do a bit more. Always while presenting in male mode I try to still leave a little for me to smile at.

You'll know when you've reached a "Dressius Minimus" state or a "new normal" when you go to use the restroom and forget what panties you put on that morning.

Hugs,
-E

[Sammy777]

Something unintentional and quite interesting has shown through in this thread.
I feel the quotes below are worth reading, re-reading and remembering as they are important and, like algebra, can one day save your life. :heehee:

Remember these quotes and repeat them back to yourself the next time you are walking thru the mall with a mental fashion measuring stick asking yourself why all the GG's around are dressed so poorly.

Those times you might think it a good idea to ask your SO why she wears jeans/pants and not more skirts/dresses, flats/sneakers and not more heels. Why she is "slacking" when she is deep into day two of sweat/pajama pants, no makeup and flip flops.

Why? Because us girls deserve a day off every now and again from all of this too. :battingeyelashes:

Thank You :D


Remember, getting completely done up is taxing and when you do it several days in a row, well it can become bothersome

That gave me the opportunity to be en femme 24/7. I enjoyed it for awhile, but, it became a drag (no pun intended).

it's easy to see how dressing day in, day out can become just plain boring especially the effort it can take.

As CharleneSomeone has stated, Dresius Maximus is overwhelming even for most women.
I suspect that's why many chose not to get all made up every day. It just takes so much energy and effort.

Well for me, after dressing for a bunch of days in a row, I can't wait to dress up like a guy again.

[Nadine Spirit]

What you have experienced is exactly what caused me to understand who I am.

Many folks here exclaim that they would so much rather live life full time as a woman. Well for me, after dressing for a bunch of days in a row, I can't wait to dress up like a guy again. At first this really confused me because the feeling was so different. Because before I had ever done it, all I had ever felt was an overwhelming desire to dress up like a girl. That feeling was with me almost all of the time. Then I did dress as a girl not for a few hours or just a day, but for amlong time, like a week or two. And at some point, I just had to stop. I had to stop in the same way that I had to dress as a girl.

And it was in experiencing this pattern several times which made me realize, I like dressing up both ways. And it would be pointless for me to transition to a girl full time because then I would just cross dress as a guy occasionally the same way that I cross dress as a girl now.

I don't see myself as either male or female, I see myselfmas somewhere inbetween. And that is okay. And now that I know that, I feel better about myself.

[Natalie cupcake]

O don't purge you will lose all the cute clothes you have! Give it time the desire will return. You will possibly see something or being doing something that may trigger the desire to be Marcie again. Sometimes I go long periods of time before I dress again. But the want to dress up is always there just some days stronger then others.

[suchacutie]

I think what happened is that you had a set of goals to accomplish and suddenly you accomplished them all! At that point your rudder was out of the water and you needed your male self for some grounding. I would find it amazing if you didn't slowly evolve a new set of goals and desires to meet them. It might take a while to come to grips with just who your femme self is and what role she plays in your life. Those first 10 days sound like it was a burst of unexpected freedom and you never planned for what would come after that. Who is your femme self and what are her goals? What part does she play in your life? I doubt that answer is "she plays no role", so just box up your femme self and put her away for a while. You'll be glad you did!

[Samantha_Smile]

I can only speak for myself and echo comments from countless other threads here;
Never Purge.
Its like this, I think....

Dressing is like alcohol, sex, drugs, anything you can get hooked on.
For example, if you like wine, you may have some on the weekend, 1 or 2 bottles on a saturday night perhaps.
You find that this is enough to chill you out at the end of the week.
Then, on a 4 day weekend, you drink wine on 3 days out of the 4, each day you see 4 bottles make their way down your gullet.
By day 3 you were feeling rough but after that third day, you sear to all and sundry that you're "Never drinking again".
How many times have you heard friends say that? Only to find that 2 weeks later, they knocked back 2 bottles on saturday.
They didn't throw all their wine away, they didn't aim for permanent sobriety, they DID learn a lesson though.

This is your lesson - everything in moderation. You just over-did it a bit.
But you'll want it again soon - so don't purge.
Besides anything else, purging is an expensive mistake to make.

Give it time, see how you feel in a few weeks/months (depends on how often you dress)

Take it easy :)

[LookingGlass]

I must agree with the general sentiment about not purging. That word itself makes me cringe even typing it. "Purge." <shudders> It can't be mere coincidence it rhymes with "dirge" which is what I could hear in my mind the two times I have purged my wardrobe. Oh! The things I got rid of...

But they are right; don't p*rge now. Wait it out a bit and see what will lead to more regret. Pu... Pur... "that word" or not doing it.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Wow, that's interesting. Do you think your marriage is at the root of your need to crossdress?

If it's at all possible, keep the stuff- you're probably not done with Marcie yet, or she with you. Only time will tell.

[jeank]

Marcie,

I've been there - a very similar experience when my wife was away for an extended period. I "overindulged" and found I had scratched the itch and then didn't dress for a while, but I knew it was only a temporary thing and the desire would return.

Reading a lot through this forum, the one thing we all have in common is that we like to/need to dress.

But it is clear from a lot of posts that the desire is much stronger in some than in others, which I guess you would expect from a pool this size. Some can go a few months without dressing, for others the need returns after a few days, and some are only happy when they can dress all the time.

Sounds like you are closer to the first. I dress less than I would if my SO was aware, however not dressing for a couple of months does not cause me great distress. But I know for sure that the desire will come back even if I haven't felt like dressing for a while.

So as everyone else has said, whatever you do don't purge yet..

[Alice_2014_B]

Give yourself PLENTY of time before you purge. and even then do not purge first. Like others have said, just box up and store all of your girl things away somewhere. Then give it more time.
:)