I cross-dressed again and it was sensational.

[ReluctantDebutant]

Ok that title was a both misleading and technically accurate at the same time.

Recap:
A few years ago my cross-dressing was, for me, getting out of hand I felt like I was driving myself crazy. to get it under some sort of control or as a long shot quit altogether I went a few years testing and pushing the limits of restraining my urges to cross-dress. Around the new year I got to a point where I was satisfied with my ability to handle my cross-dressing and I lift my self imposed ban.

So last month I let myself cross-dress again for fun after a few year hiatus. I bought a fresh set of clothes; pantyhose, panties, bra, skirt and a very feminine blouse. I soon got rid of the outer clothing as they did not seem to matter anymore. I have long since giving up on trying to appear feminine. I switch to just concentrating on the feel of the clothing and the sensations they provided. And I must say after the long drought I think the felt like it did the very first time. The hosiery felt exhilarating on my legs. the panties felt light a smooth on my skin and were the only correct garment to wear under pantyhose. The bra for some odd reason felt comfortable being snug around my chest, and there was something fun about my arm bumping up against their filled cups. It all felt fun, novel, strange, and it didn't at all make any sense. But the best sensation of all for me was to be able to take it all off and put it away and I have kept it away since. That feeling of having my fun an not getting swept away with it has been the best joy I have gotten from that time cross-dressing.

I don't know when I'll get back to it. I might keep this streak going past Easter. Maybe next fall. But I am fairly certain that this might be the extent of my wardrobe. The clothes and accessories that provide feminine sensations. I may or may not invest in a good pair of breast forms once again. I did like the feeling of having wide hips and butt when I made a set of Femillusions a few years ago. I may get some sort of hip and butt padding. I hate what a pair of heels can do to my feet but I did like walking in them. So maybe that is my CDing future heels, hose, panties, Hip/butt pad, and a form filled bra topped off with women's jeans ( hip pads negate male jeans) and a T shirt every so often. I don't know despite all my fun I still have half a mind to not jump back into this. Even with all the pleasure felt I really don't think I need this anymore and for me that is finally a good spot to be in. And that Is the greatest feeling of them all.

[Tina955]

ReluctantDebutant, hopefully your just not bottling it up for some future explosion.
I banned myself for many many years due to an unsupportedive wife. Then she passed away, still refrained for about two years afterward out of some sort of guilt, but it was always creeping back into my brain. Then one day the cork came out of the bottle and I spent $1200.00 in one day on everything I could think of to dress like a women. And actually progressed to full fledge GD, to the point of seeing a therapist and getting a letter of referral for low dose HRT.
Not that that will necessarily happen to you, everyone is different. Just wanted to mention what happened in my case of repressing myself for a very long time.

Tina

[Suzie Petersen]

Interesting thread RD!

I can relate because I stopped dressing, cold turkey, about 8 years ago. Basically in an attempt to same my marriage and my life. Happy to report I was successful in both!

I suppose it is common knowledge that the first step in fixing a problem, is to recognize and admit that you have one!
I didn't feel there was a problem ... which turned out to be a good part of the problem! Go figure!
But, through words and action, my wife made it blatantly clear to me that there was, so I decided to stop.

I would like it very much, if there was a way for me to find a balance in this, but I am not sure I could accomplish that. I tend to do things all the way, or not at all.

Hugs
Suzie

[Janine cd]

I'm back dressing again after an absence of about 10 months. I thought the desire was over and purged most of my wardrobe. That was a big mistake. I should known better from past experience.

[ReluctantDebutant]

ReluctantDebutant, hopefully your just not bottling it up for some future explosion.

No it won't. I used to bottle this up when I was younger. That never worked. This is something different. I don't deny anything I fully embrace the fact that CDing is a part of me and that it can give me pleasure. I don't have to let it run my life.


I would like it very much, if there was a way for me to find a balance in this, but I am not sure I could accomplish that. I tend to do things all the way, or not at all.

You can. I did. I didn't think I could find the balance when I started but I had to try. I think you have a good start. You have feelings for Cding but you value your marriage. Values will always win over feelings


I'm back dressing again after an absence of about 10 months. I thought the desire was over and purged most of my wardrobe. That was a big mistake. I should known better from past experience.

I failed to learn that the desire never went away when I kept trying to quit in my teens and twenties. I have found is that you don't let the desire go otherwise it will bowl you over when it sneaks back up on you.

[flatlander_48]

RD:

This is a Make-It-Up-As-You-Go deal. Interest comes and goes. Frequency increases and decreases. Intensity rises and falls. There isn't much predictability to it. I think some expect some consistency, but I don't think that there is. There are so many variables that come into play that can change things day to day, month to month. And, the variables are internal and external. The internal ones are how you feel, what aspect of dressing currently interests you, what you're trying to evolve to, etc. Externally, it could be time available, finances, reactions of spouse and family menbers, etc.

There are just many, many factors that are in play all of the time...

DeeAnn

[Raquel Maire]

That is exactly what happened to me. For years I did not have a desire to CD. However I tried it again and fell in love with myself all over again. For me its just getting dressed and admiring myself in the mirror. The legs are still there, along with the rest of my body. Fell very comfortable and sexy and will probably be CD for a while

[Samantha74]

I agree with DeeAnn, so many variables and we all have our own way of dealing

[VAWyman]

I sorta in that same boat. I wanted to stop for a while to see how I reacted. So far I'm OK, but it is difficult, especially the dreams at night.

[Beverley Sims]

I feel it is like cutting the lawn too short, "it'll come back".

Dressing for me and from past experiences I have read is it seems to return and manifest itself to varying degrees.

Good for you if you can control it.

[Jaymees22]

I first cross-dressed when I was 17 then took a break until I was 67. Now the longest I can go is about 2 weeks without dressing. Hugs Jaymee

[Katey888]

Sounds to me like you're recreating those early years of discovery again, RD - which would be a nice thing to do and it certainly was sensational then for many of us (or at least those of us that admit it... ;)) I get the impression sometimes - both reading here and from experience - that more dressing does seem to reduce the very intense feelings that might once have been associated with what you describe... a certain amount of familiarity breeding contempt, or at least just diluting the excitement a lot.

I'm pleased for you in that it seems like you're very close to achieving a balance in this that's right for you and that's really all of us can hope for... I can totally get your perspective regarding 'jumping back into this' as I've been pondering my own development and feelings in recent weeks. To exercise control over this is something that few of us seem to manage but I wonder if some of that is just related to how far along the curve we are and our own natures and personalities... But glad that you're feeling good about it now. :D

Katey x

[Dena]

Sometimes just having the clothing available is enough to quiet the mind!