Dreams

[Jessika]

So something new has been happening lately and I was wondering if any of you ladies or gentlemen for our ftm brothers out there. OK so I kind of have to set this up, I have not gone full time yet. I want to give the hormones time to work their magic and let my hair grow out first. But basically ALL of my dreams are me full time. Any dream analyzers out there that want to take a Crack at this one?

[Frances]

Six years on hormones and 4 years post-op. In dreams, I am sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes a boy or a girl, sometimes a disembodied spirit, sometimes another person altogether (men and women). I would not read too much into it.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

me too...just last night i dreamed i was back at my old job and i was a man...another time i might dream I'm at my job and i'm myself as i am now..

i never dreamt of myself as a woman prior to transitioning..

it could mean anything or nothing. my advice is to enjoy the dreams

[whowhatwhen]

My dreams alternate as well but they're so abstract gender never really plays into anything.

[Anne2345]

Sometimes I dream that I am a T-1000 Killer Dinosaur. But mostly, I dream that I am being chased relentlessly by zombies.

[bimini1]

This is something that always intrigued me about TS. When you dream who are you in the dream? Male or female. Most of my dreams are me as male. If they include transgender it's usually a case of being in a highly stressful situation where I'm being outed. May go to the root of what my fears are in my conscious life.

[Rianna Humble]

just last night i dreamed i was back at my old job and i was a man

There's a name for that kind of dream; it's called a nightmare :eek:

[LeaP]

Anne, they're not zombies. They are your former friends. Alternatively, they could be, oh, fairies or something, but I don't think they're allowed in WV.

Dreams - dreaming as a female, i.e. specially and NOT "just" dressed, is pretty much confined to (MtF) transsexuals. I remember my first such, which coincided with my identity crisis period. Spectacularly vivid, detailed, in-color, and long.

[PretzelGirl]

I can't remember the last time I woke up and remembered a dream. Maybe that is a good thing.

I think it is pretty simple. You are on hormones and your mind is thinking about it. If your mind brainstorms on something, I think it will be the contributor to the content of dreams.

[Jorja]

I can't say I have never had a dream about myself being female or other. I have not had a dream I could remember for like 1000 years or something. I don't even know if I dream at all.

[LeaP]

Only vampires don't dream, Jorja.

[KellyJameson]

I was never comfortable having my picture taken and looking in the mirror I would see aspects or parts of me but never the whole person as that sensation of "thats me!" I was very critical of my appearance (rejecting) even though everyone always had positive things to say about my being "handsome". This was part of the identity conflict raging in my subconscious.

Once I accepted myself by getting past the Transphobia because I had absorbed so much hate of "trans people" as all those remarks you hear, I started to see myself as I really am in my dreams. My dreams followed my acceptance of self and it was particularly strong in the beginning.

With the mirror now reflecting back to me that internalized image I carried around inside my head of what I was supppose to look like it, my image (seeing myself) has become more prevalent in my dreams, when this never happened before.

Its possible that the more you see yourself in the mirror as you are suppose to be, the more accepting you are of what you see and the more it enters your memory. Like a form of imprinting.

I clearly see that I was living as if I was split into two people. My female gender identity that I refused to acknowledge and the pretend identity I was consciously forcing myself to adopt. Transitioning eliminated that split and brought up to the surface what was always there.

This has strongly effected how I dream and because I now "see myself" in the mirror this gets folded back into my dreams.

It is fascinating how my relationship to my own image has changed. It is not vanity because I'm largely indifferent about what you can get by how you look but the discomfort and dissonance is gone.

So nice to not have people telling me I'm handsome. I really hated that. It would make me cringe.

[Ann Louise]

My dreamscape wasn't altered by HRT much. That didn't come until I started my surgeries, then things dreamwise changed pretty steadily. I suppose I had to subconsciously process my then continually changing relationship with the world around me. Now that those are completed I dream consistently as myself now, though old thoughts and emotions and my role in them might occasionally surface into dreams reminiscent of the past.

[LeaP]

It still makes me cringe, Kelly. I was told TODAY how much someone liked a particular picture of me, taken a couple of years ago. I looked at it - yikes. But I do understand the comment about seeing yourself more or better, too. I can't decide if it's real change, seeing myself differently, or just what. I see things that defy comprehensive analysis. One of them (and the conception is backwards) is seeing my daughter in me, specifically some things I really like in her looks. Those features haven't really changed physically in me, as far as I can tell, but I never saw them that way, at all, ever.

I had a nice chat tonight with another member. As I just got in from a flight, I was in drab and it was late besides. I was VERY self-conscious. Yet, when I went around the corner and looked in the mirror, I saw the things I mentioned above. It evokes a feeling of a screaming mismatch. I feel like me. I was expressing myself as me. Yet I KNOW the image didn't match what I feel. The ugly duckling that stays that way ...

The dissonance isn't gone. It's better in some ways, worse in others. I feel good about the changes I do see, but feel worse about the dissonance.

The chat was wonderful, just wonderful. But also painful.

[Sammy777]

Sometimes you dream what you want, other times your mind takes over and a dream can be nothing more then your subconscious working through a problem.

Some times, with practice, yes I said with practice, you can take control of a dream. Even being able to willingly wake yourself up.

Every person in your dreams, whether or not you recognize/remember them is someone you know or have seen before.
Same goes for the location, even if you've only seen it without ever physically being there.
So yes, every actor/actress, every backdrop you have ever seen in a TV show or movie could show up in your dreams.

Not everyone dreams in color, even if they think they do.

Not every dream has sound. (Think about it for minute).

Dreams can last anywhere between a few seconds to 20-30 minutes in length.

Dreams usually only take place shortly before you wake up. Towards the end of the R.E.M cycle.

As for me, I couldn't tell you with any certainty what I look like as most of my dreams tend to take place in the first person.

[LeaP]

You cannot dream an identity you do not have. Anne may be a T-1000 Killer Dinosaur, but it's still Anne. And a man might dream he looks like, or is dressed like, or wishes to be, or has turned into a woman, but cannot dream AS a woman.

[I Am Paula]

LeaP- Trans women are women, and dream as women. When we have dreams of being male, they are an abomination brought on by being forced to accept a male role for so long.

[Frances]

What does that even mean Lea? So we now have "real transsexuals" in dreams too? Every person, thing or event in anyone's dream is a creation of that person's subconscious.

[LeaP]

It means your gender identity doesn't change. Do you think CDs can temporily become actual women while dressed, then revert back to being men? By will?

[Frances]

We are talking about dreams.

[arbon]

Most of the times I don't know what I am in my dreams. Sometimes I do though.

Sometimes I have nightmares like my facial hair is growing back real thick and things like that.

[Dana44]

Yikes! I dreamed last night and I was female trying to accomplish something. Don't know if I dream I'm female often, but I will pay attention to that.

[LeaP]

We are talking about dreams.

Yes we are.

[becky77]

You cannot dream an identity you do not have. Anne may be a T-1000 Killer Dinosaur, but it's still Anne. And a man might dream he looks like, or is dressed like, or wishes to be, or has turned into a woman, but cannot dream AS a woman.

I don't really understand that? I think a dream is a mismatch of imagination, fears, memories, worries, basically anything that can be in your head. What does identity have to do with it?
I have dreamt as a woman and man, I am a woman but I have lived decades as a man which has it's impact. I mentioned a while back a very vivid dream that I was pregnant, it was all first person and internalised feelings, if it was based on say something I had seen wouldn't it be third person? It felt so real and natural yet I have never been pregnant so how is that explained?

[LeaP]

You said it yourself. Imagination. However vivid the dream, you actually have no idea whatsoever what it feels like to be pregnant.

[Kris Avery]

I just dream that I was never married to my ex wife. :heehee:

Seriously, I think that just last night I had my first dream where I woke up [in a very long time] and was repulsed (much more so than usual) by men in the dream.

[becky77]

You said it yourself. Imagination. However vivid the dream, you actually have no idea whatsoever what it feels like to be pregnant.

Maybe it's a past life memory :p

[Starling]

I don't usually see myself in my dreams; it's all POV. Most often I'm looking for someone I can't ever find, or I'm lost in a familiar setting, on an errand I can't define. I'm often with-but-not-with lots of other people who all seem to have functions and duties, and I'm pestering them unsuccessfully to see where I can fit in. Nothing sexy about that. They're dreams that leave me more tired than when I went to sleep.

But I had a dream years ago in which I forgot myself and went outside in a pair of high-heeled Candies' mules, the ones that were so popular around 1980. I was terribly afraid that someone would see me in them and laugh, but nobody seemed to notice. Does that mean I was a woman in the dream? I'd like psychoanalysts only to answer, please.

:) Lallie

[Jorja]

Lallie - I am not a psychoanalyst but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.........

[Starling]

That's good enough for me, Jorja! Otherwise, shrinks only.

:) Lallie

[pamela7]

Jessika, you say it yourself - your dreams are "me full time", there's no more to be said.

[Leah Lynn]

Most of the dreams that I do remember, are distorted replays of my military missions. Some I'm still male; some I'm female. I don't dwell on them. Many years ago a navy psychiatrist told me that dreams were just the brain having fun at our expense.

Leah

[Frances]

I dreamed yesterday that my father had been an astronaut. I was his daughter in the dream, even though he died when I was quite young. He played some sport on the Moon that looked like Croquet, but with a soccer ball. There also were abandonned cities on the Moon, and the astronauts were trying very to hold their breath while visiting them. Later on in the same dream, I was male astronaut Gus Grissom. I had to explain why I had pulled the hatch too early, and then watched myself burn at the Kennedy Space Center.

Does that make me a woman or a man? I don't give a hoot. I like dreaming weird stuff like that. My gender and sex are characteristics of my waking life. In my dreams I get to be Gus Grissom.

[Starling]

Wonderful dream, Frances! And it's so smart to just relax and enjoy them. Did you ever dream of being chased by a giant policeman, while trying to escape on a playground swing? Doesn't work, even in a dream.

:) Lallie

[Dana44]

Oh Oh, I woke up this morning dreaming as a female again. Patterns... If you note your dreams in a journal then you can look at the patterns. Try to write everything you can remember on the dreams. After a while you can see a pattern emerging on the true value of those dreams. It may not be a gender issue and something else that will make sense to you.

[LeaP]

Does it make any difference? That depends on your view of dreams, I suppose. If you think they are mindless manifestations and replays of the day and your issues, then no. 100 years of modern psychological thought as well as several thousand years of human tradition gives them a lot more weight than that, however.

I strongly suspect that you did not wake up thinking you were actually Gus Grissom. Not being a spiritualist, I also doubt that you were channeling him. When I started dreaming myself in female roles, I woke up knowing they were "correct" (in the gender sense, that is, not that I believed I was Amelia Earhart or something) and they were me.

I have been told that cross sex dreaming is not only highly significant, but virtually unheard of if there is not some cross sex identity. For that to be meaningful, there obviously has to have be some sense of it's reality and not that is not just acting out apart. Think the imagination can create actual cross sex identity, then I submit that any CD engaging in a fantasy really is a woman.

The OP asks whether dreaming of herself full-time is significant. Probably. I doubt whether there is any standardized interpretation of it. The other arose from therapeutic observations. But all dreaming is symbolic and all dreaming is meaningful at some level. You don't dream – you will die.

[Frances]

I was actually Fred Ward as Gus Grissom (the actor in The Right Stuff). There are studies about cross sex dreaming? I watched the Nova episode on dreaming. From that show, I got that not much is known about dreaming. Again, we are talking about dreaming, not fantasy or projection or wishful thinking. I guess what I am saying is that I put very little stock in the significance of dreams on a litteral level. Even dreaming about cross sexual identities can actually be about something else.

[Karen62]

For years I have dreamt of being caught dressed as a woman in front of family, friends or at work. Sometimes my body had natural breasts, but it was always just me, so I don't know how to parse whether I was a man or a woman int he dream. But one thing is for sure - in the past couple of years, those dreams where I was dressed as a woman in front of people I knew were not bad dreams. In those dreams, no one noticed that anything was wrong. It was just natural and normal for me. Huh - I hadn't realized that before. Just another missed clue for so long. I kind of like that.

Karen