why do some folks get bored of CD-ing after a few days?

[pamela7]

apart from a couple of hours here or there I've been en-femme since mid-january, there's no sign of this slowing down or me becoming bored of it, or me wanting some "man time", I'm happier this way, and that's that!

So i noticed a fair few posts/threads where some folks have said they've gone off it, and can't be bothered, gone back to man clothes. My question is: why?

xxx Pamela

[CONSUELO]

If we knew why we would understand everything one needs to know about cross dressing. Its just a mystery and to make it a deeper one we are all individuals with different egos, motivations etc. etc.
I'm glad that you are happy though.

[Brandy Mathews]

Well said. For me it is things that are going on in life, work, vacation, who I am seeing. There are so many other reasons just like you brought up too. I am Bree inside no matter what I am wearing though. Even though I enjoy girl mode but unfortunately I cannot do it all of the time.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Sallee]

I do get bored with it sometimes. after spending a few days en fem and sometimes after a few hours i get bored. I sure love the prep and the first steps out the door but it seems after some time boredom sets in. It seems it is after all the things I can do while dressed have been done. Going to the mall, shopping, seeing a move, maybe getting a bite to eat all these things are fun but after I have done them it seems that clothing just doesn't matter. I will say that one of the thrills of doing all those things is seeing my enfemme reflection in a window or a mirror, that never gets old.
I have lately taken to going for long walks in the park and they even get boring after a bit. Maybe it is because no one notices or cares if they do notice. Clubbing is always fun having fun with other girls is a kick also. I guess it is the boredom of every day life that bores me when I am dressed ofr course it can bore me in guy mode too.

[Adriana Moretti]

I can see why people get bored with it...its like they get it out of their system...all this pent up pink fairy dust finally explodes. Everyone is at different levels with crossdressing, some are more serious than others, some part time, some just wear panties..some 24-7....I personally never get bored of it either but I will admit I do get lazy, especially if I am not going anywhere special, so i may just hang in sweats, and sneakers with very little makeup. xoxo

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes, male guilt and shame, the guy side wanting his power back. Religious guilt sometimes. Wanting to come back down from the high. Every one is different.

[Dana44]

Oh golly, I'm never quite bored with it. It is in my life now and feels good. I'm a part time girl, yet I think I could do it for a while and not be bored. I do not think I could go back.

[Alice_2014_B]

I believe that it is just different for different people. When I was on a deployment to west Africa back in November, being out of my comfort-zone, I thought that I was quite done with CDing for good.
:)

[Kate Simmons]

Even being retired keeping my girl "on" is high maintenance. Much easier to move around and get things done en homme and reserve her for special occasions these days. :battingeyelashes::)

[Christie ann]

I am never bored with it but sometimes not doing it is so much easier. Although, I try to not go cold turkey and always incorporate something feminine in my day to day activities.

[Lynn Marie]

After dressing and going out for years now, I pretty much reserve my dressing for visiting girlfriends and going out clubbing where I can be with friends and flirt and tease and get a little tipsy! Otherwise, dressing is at least an hour and a half undertaking and it's no big deal unless I can share it with someone else. At 6'3" and 6'6" in heels, I'm always going to be noticed. Even if I was shorter I'd get noticed! It's just the way I am. Great for attracting people and flirting, not so hot trying to buy groceries. Boy mode is just so much easier when "taking care of business".

[StephanieinSecret]

Why switch back and forth? I guess it's just who I am.

If I felt a need to be dressed as female 24/7, I wouldn't really consider myself to crossdressing at all; I'd be closer to true Trangender/ transitioning. I am not a woman in a man's body, I'm a man in women's clothes. It's a fun costume to wear for a while, but I wouldn't want to ruin the "femme experience" by dressing all the time. Vive la difference!

[Jaylyn]

I seem to take it in spells. I love getting dressed to the max when I can stay dressed all day and a few times several days. I enjoy also my male side just throwing on my work clothes and going to the farm. I can only go either way it seems for a time and sometimes the female side gets the shorter time. If I haven't been dressed in a a week or two it seems I get very excited to get back enfemme. I really love the times that I can go all the way from painting nails and toes to the complete outfit. I do sometimes under dress even when doing the male chores I do, maybe we all have differing levels or degrees of dressing to settle the inner feminine side and male side. I know my wife sometimes just hates getting dressed and stays in what I call male mode clothes all weekend. Who knows... She thinks it's a pain to have to dab on her makeup every day.

[pamela7]

i think you're onto something there Stephanie, and Gendermutt's thread answers that ... a feminine man enjoying the feminine clothing, but able to go into man-mode when required by the world around

[charlenesomeone]

We all exist somewhere on this spectrum, so the desire, or need is different for all.
What is interesting is what a few here have said, sometimes we just want to live life. Doing
it as or dressed as a woman. Is it the clothes or the inside, the soul, whatever it is, could we
do "male" things dressed? Could we just be ourselves, dressed as we feel?
I'm a little verklempt, discuss among yourselves.

[AngelaYVR]

I love black pudding but I don't want it every day.
I am a guy that enjoys dressing up when the mood strikes, if I wanted to be a girl all the time I would have some explaining to do to the wife.

[NicoleScott]

I have taken breaks, but it's not from boredom, it's sensory overload.

[Beverley Sims]

Pamela,
When starting out there are a lot of other interests to keep us occupied.

New girlfriends, baby on the way, a forthcoming wedding.

As Nicole Scott says, sensory overload. :)

[kimdl93]

Well, I think it's quite obvious that among the thousands of CDrs represented here there are many different people with extremely diverse motivations. Those who dress to satisfy a sexual need may move on to other sources of pleasure. Those who 'get a thrill' from pushing boundaries or taking risks, may well find that the endorphin rush is lessened with time.

On might as easily as why don't more CDrs tire of the activity.

[Stephanie47]

If you're an in-home cross dresser I suspect social isolation will take over. I am assuming if you've been en femme 24/7 since mid January you may be more than a simple cross dresser. You've been out among the populace: work, church, shopping, social interaction?

[weyburn]

Havent had that problem yet and doubt I will

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pam, I've been in this program for 68yrs. now and it never gets old.:daydreaming:

I dress for 3 to 4 hrs. every Morning and 2 or 3 hrs. a couple Evenings a week.:hugs:

[pantynlace]

If you are bored, it may be that you just had some curiosity about the "other side." Maybe you heard someone talk about crossdressing and thought it might be fun to try, or do it to satisfy an inner wish, but really didn't like it once you actually got dressed. It's all good, it grows on you. LOL Share your crossdressing with a friend, go shopping together, plan an outfit all the way down to the shoes, bracelets, get your ears pierced but share it with somebody. That is what I regret the most about my youth, I didn't share it because I thought it was wrong, but I always went back to it over time. Now I share it with my wife and we have a blast going shopping, making jewelry, or just hanging on our deck. She buys me outfits, lingerie, stockings and sometimes we were matching shirts and panties. We just have fun with it.

[Suzie Petersen]

Making up for not having been born with female genes is hard work!

For me it was never a matter of being bored with it.
I dont know .. it is a number of things I guess. Most things I do, I do 110%, and that includes when getting the girl on. It is about being as authentic as possible and _being_ the part, not just _looking_ the part! Does that make sense? So that requires a lot of attention to detail and a lot of effort the entire time.

Unlike many reports I have read from others, I never had the sadness of changing back to boy mode after having had extended girl time. I am so incredibly energized afterwards and am so full of energy and so fired up to get things done etc and I suspect that energy is harvested directly from the energy that goes into making Suzie real.
This does not come natural to me, not at all. Combat gear, doing stupid stunts, hunting, building cars and bikes etc, that's natural for me. Suzie is the alter ego, 180 degrees removed, and hard work to accomplish!

When the opportunity was only a few hours at a hotel somewhere in the world, it was never enough. But when the opportunity was days on end and included being out and about, I would eventually wear out! Get exhausted from the effort.

A part of the exhaustion for me is definitely also caused by the fact that, deeply seated from past lives, I am soooo aware of my surroundings all the time that there is not much relaxation involved when out in girl mode. In boy mode, I dont have to be quite as aware. It is like the defense perimeter moves in to a few feet where when in Suzie mode, the perimeter includes everything around me. After some days with the shield up, I would get tired! So even if the opportunity continued to be there, opting for a little relaxing guy time would feel pretty good too.

But ... soon after ... the need would be knocking on the door again!

- Suzie

[suchacutie]

I also think that "bored" is not necessary the driving force for leaving Tina for a bit. I lived as a man only for 55 years. There are things my man side enjoys that Tina does not. There are things that Tina enjoys that my man side can't stand. So, to be a total "me", I want to go back and forth. Yes, I'm living two halves of my life separately, but when I put them together it is fantastic!

[Natalie cupcake]

My male life needs me so I have to go back. But Natalie is always there in some way. :battingeyelashes:

[Dena]

I'm not bored with it. It's just easier to not dress so much.

Actually, the decline of my dressing is due to a profusion of body hair. I have not found a satisfactory solution. I should try waxing, as I cannot abide body stubble. Body hair stubble just might be a "cure" for crossdressing!

[pamela7]

If you're an in-home cross dresser I suspect social isolation will take over. I am assuming if you've been en femme 24/7 since mid January you may be more than a simple cross dresser. You've been out among the populace: work, church, shopping, social interaction?

Mostly in-home, in-garden, but also more subtly going out to meetings, shopping, hospital, social interaction, mostly as man-in-a-dress. The whole-hog like ladies mostly find, needs special occasions to take the hours to get ready. There's not a great difference in manual labouring clothes m/f so the gardening may as well be in male mode on the outside.

Social isolation - being a hermit that's not really a problem, but I'm out and about sufficiently ambiguously or less attention-drawing to get away with it here. It's about helping my SO with her boundaries on where I go dressed.

Yes the thrill fades as such, but no the inner happiness does not. If I'm a fem in a male body then great, but no need for SRS or hormones, this does it. I feel i'm simply embodying the fem side of me that's had 54 years exclusion, so maybe the next 54 years will balance me out!

[Marcelle]

Hi Pamela,

As many said, I think it really depends where you are on the spectrum and how you go about "getting your femme" on. I truly believe we all at some point push the boundaries of dressing and come to that saturation point where it is difficult to stay "girl" and retreat back to the comfort of "boy" unless you are truly TS then living as a woman full time is an imperative for that person as they are a woman (they want nothing to do with their guy side). For most of us who water closer to the CD side of the spectrum we are still "men" under all the female trappings and while we identify "female" when dressed (well some of us that is, not all) we still have our guy side and we like that side as much as we like our girl side. That guy side still needs to be seen and experience life as much as our "girl" side. So we find balance as many have here. It might be dressing in private one day a week and never going out or it might be dressing "en femme" a predominate portion of the time, or points in between. Once we find our saturation point, we back off (might include a purge for some) but it always comes back and this could be cyclical until equilibrium is found.

Once that equilibrium is found, you will notice those girls tend to stick around and rarely talk about purging, quitting or giving it up.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Pamela - I would have thought that you might have realised even in the couple of months you've been here the great variety of behaviours and underlying motivations we all exhibit and so trying to explain why this is different for many of us is virtually impossible. For example...


apart from a couple of hours here or there I've been en-femme since mid-january, there's no sign of this slowing down or me becoming bored of it, or me wanting some "man time", I'm happier this way, and that's that!


It's great that you're happy with how you can present, but your definition of 'en-femme' would not be mine or likely many others here. You've said you underdressed for many years, only recently going 'fully femme'. But you've also indicated that you present as 'man dressed as woman'.... womens clothes but no wig, no makeup - and what many others may consider a more androgynous look, although that's obviously subjective. So we're all quite different in what we like to do and what we think is acceptable (I'd probably never go out in jeans and boots and certainly not without a full facial and wig) so it shouldn't be surprising that many of us both like our male side and actually enjoy being Mr Jacket & Chinos, as I have been today (but I was interviewing job candidates so felt it right to leave the jeans at home... :)).

Let me stress that isn't judgmental of you, but for me emphasises once again that while I find it hard to understand why you and others should present the way you choose, I still also find it difficult to understand myself and why I would want to and could go from jacket and chinos to ball gown and feather boa... and that sort of brings me to the futility of asking why any of us have our own patterns of behaviour... It is what it is for each of us... :D

Katey x

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Here's a different take on your question.

If you had to describe who you are, where on the list would 'crossdresser' appear? No.1? I doubt it, yet you do it almost all the time- you probably spend more time doing it than any other single activity except breathing and loving Wg.

So does that invalidate it? Obviously not... it just means that since January you've been wearing women's clothes. For a 50-something that's a drop in the gnat's bucket. If you're still dressing en femme 23/7 in a year's time, I shall be surprised; I think you're a person who throws himself into things whole heartedly, be it gardening, career, commitment to Welshgurgle, dieting, you name it. But presumably even you can't keep all those balls in the air at the same time indefinitely?

I reckon next year could see a sudden passion for hang-gliding, or trombone, or indeed World Domination. I look forward to finding out.

Nikki

[pamela7]

... and that sort of brings me to the futility of asking why any of us have our own patterns of behaviour... It is what it is for each of us... :D

Katey x

Yes, thank you Katie, it might be futile but i was interested in the answer - our variety is our spice - well, one of them! I do love the wig times too, probably I'm deliberately pushing boundaries being an inbetweener as is my way, those low-cut fronts with a full rug come to mind! At present I'm indulging in long-forbidden fruit, who indeed knows what lies in store for the future.

Nikki, as someone who lives in the moment, next year is way beyond my horizons. I've converted a couple of guys from work to CD-ing; guys with no prior history. "Viva la revolucion." Trombone - hmmn, no, world domination - now there's a thought! [The Two Ronnies: "the worm that turned.]

[Jessie James]

Wow, I'd love to have a few days of being fully 'dressed' to test this theory. I don't think I would get bored, at least in regards to dressing.

Jessie~☆

[Dana44]

Ah, never had the chance to do it for more than a couple days. I wonder if I would get board with it. Naw!

[FrancineS]

NEVER gets boring for me. When it feels like it is that's when I change styles be it wardrobe hair etc, keeps Francine evolving.

[Kirsty Louise]

I cant say that I get board but some times I have to have a change, say if I’m going to a football match or to the pub with the lads

Kirsty x

[bridget thronton]

I suspect part of the answer is that dressing up is hard work (women do not dress up every day they have other demands on their time - family, jobs, friends, hobbies)

[Jane-C]

Over exposed. You can have too much of a good thing. Well that’s the way I see it. When we deprived no matter what the reason we want to climb the walls out of frustration not been able to dress but when we get a chance to dress 24/7 for a week or so it becomes dull. Just my 2 cents
J

[Annaliese]

Except for a wig, I am dress fem every day, could not go back, love my girl jeans I wear to work, and my cowgirl boot, in less you look close you can not tell them apart form cowboy boot. Not even trying to hide that I wear make up, or my bra straps. For me this is who I am, I am happier, it not about getting bored, for me it just dressing for who I am.

[Cheryl T]

Beats me why !
It's been darn near 60 years for me and I have no intention of slowing down. There's never a dull moment for this gal and I will not let this part of me go, ever again.

[carahawkwind]

I don't get bored with it, but I do find it kind of exhausting after a while sometimes. Most the time though, it's simply of matter of needing to take care of things I'm more comfortable doing as my everyday male self.

[pamela7]

So today I did go out - to the dentist - with a normal shirt on top (a man-shirt) - to spare the dentist any "worries". Walking around town I felt myself going into gorilla mode. Once home it was comfy enough, its a nice soft shirt, but could I keep it on? No, I'm just happier dressed. I wonder what lies underneath this emotional sense?

[jeank]

Pamela,

One of the things joining this site has given me is the opportunity to explore and question why I like to dress pretty (a term that came from a post I read - can't remember which one).

And I think that has helped me to define what it is that I enjoy - I like being pretty occasionally. I definitely try and look female, possibly because I have never yet seen a male I regard as pretty in the way I define it.

But it's great to put on make up, paint my nails, don a wig, wear a nice dress and elegant heels, and with it comes acting in a female way for a while -sometimes a couple of days. It's a wonderful escape. I think I envy women being able to do that in our culture where it's difficult for me to as a man. And they only do it for special occasions.

It's something I like to do occasionally. It's not that I get bored with it so much as it's a time slot I had that I've filled, and thoroughly enjoyed. Yes there is a compulsion to do it, but in a couple of days I've "scratched the itch". Then other things that I want to do beckon and I need to move on. Until the next time.

Reading your posts this is not where you are, which may explain your difficulty in understanding it. It sounds as though you are much more in the middle of genders than I am. As much as I like to present myself as female as possible, I never feel more than a guy in a frock, scratching his strange itch, and enjoying the elegance and "painted-ladyness" I see in a mirror.

I don't understand why I have this strange itch I have to scratch - frankly I don't really care - it's something that just is, but I certainly have no desire to be like that full time. When I'm not scratching the itch, I'm a casually dressed guy who doesn't really pay much attention to appearance.

We're all different - as I said in a post on another topic the other day - probably the only thing we really all have in common is a love of wearing dresses.:)

Jean

[Sweet Paulina]

Wow, this is a great thread
I can relate to the 'getting bored with it'
I sometimes have the opportunity to spend a whole day or a few days almost entirely en femme
To be truthful, it's actually a lot of work
Even genetic females don't do their high event type makeup all the time
I guess I'm kind of an all or nothing type person
If I can't do it completely then I won't
And there is, obviously the times that I need to 'man up' lol to get my work done
But, given the opportunity I would and could stay in full femme mode for several days
After that, my male side gets lonely :)

I'm really glad to have found this site to be able to read all of you other people's viewpoints

[cheryl reeves]

i balance both sides as best as i can. me and my wife have very little privacy for me to fully dress,so i wear nitegowns which is as much as the other members tolerate. i mainly wear jeans and t shirts any way like most around here do.

[Ellie52]

I do get bored with it sometimes. after spending a few days en fem and sometimes after a few hours i get bored. I sure love the prep and the first steps out the door but it seems after some time boredom sets in. It seems it is after all the things I can do while dressed have been done. Going to the mall, shopping, seeing a move, maybe getting a bite to eat all these things are fun but after I have done them it seems that clothing just doesn't matter. I will say that one of the thrills of doing all those things is seeing my enfemme reflection in a window or a mirror, that never gets old.
I have lately taken to going for long walks in the park and they even get boring after a bit. Maybe it is because no one notices or cares if they do notice. Clubbing is always fun having fun with other girls is a kick also. I guess it is the boredom of every day life that bores me when I am dressed ofr course it can bore me in guy mode too.
I have to agree 100% with this. I get bored after a couple of hours and change back into DRAB. My wife doesnt care what I wear as long as our son (who is 22) doesnt see. So any time were on our own I can dress up in whatever I like and as this post stated - All it takes is a look in the mirror once the makeup is on and I feel great. The problem is I hate taking makeup off so I wear less and less these days.
I have been to the Mall etc etc etc and it doesnt do much for me. In fact I feel silly so dont do that anymore.
I class it more as a hobby. Like making a piece of furniture or playing the guitar. I dont mean to trivialise it but thats what its like for me. If im making furniture I get bored with that after a few hours and put the tools away - its the same thing.

Ellie

[Maria 60]

I will say for myself I choose the closet. Once dressed and ready, the question is, ready for what? The doors are locked and the window blinds are closed so one could say I reached a dead end and at that point I am limited to what I could do. I do some male chores and cleaning dressed but then sooner or later I have to go outside to throw some garbage out or get a tool. That's when the boredom comes in because I just can't sit around dressed all day, so usually after a few hours I get undressed. I guess that's the price I pay when I decided I want to stay in the closet.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

A little extreme, but a funny quote that I feel applies to me for certain things... Mostly because I have recognized that I can be quite addicted to certain activities that I find fun or exciting, and as such, takes an extreme overload of it for me to get tired or bored with it, if ever. At least for the things that I really enjoy doing. Dressing is one of those activities. I NEVER grow tired of doing it, and I do it QUITE frequently (like at least 4 times a week, if not more) This is my gauge of how to identify what it is I truly enjoy doing... Looking back at my own history of events and counting up the amount of times I find myself doing those same activities. It is no coincidence that the ones that are at the top of my list are the same things I absolutely love doing. Why else would I do them so often?

For the people that grow tired of the frequency and/or duration of dressing; I feel that their needs for dressing are simply not as strong as mine, or they simply prioritize other aspects of their lives differently than myself. They can extract just as much satisfaction from dressing that I do, they just don't need to have it so often to be satisfied. Everyone has different levels of fulfillment, and the requirement to fill that need. For many people, doing it once in a while is more than enough to satisfy the desire. I don't see anything wrong or weird about that. That's what they need, and they get it when they need it.

[Tina_gm]

i think you're onto something there Stephanie, and Gendermutt's thread answers that ... a feminine man enjoying the feminine clothing, but able to go into man-mode when required by the world aroundman mode requires most of my time of the life I have built. In all actuality, I have no actual female mode, just deeper connection with my femininity. That is basically how and why I dress. I never get bored with it, or feel it is time to stop. I also never feel a burning desire either. When the opportunities arise I take them usually.... Even when I don't, I do not feel a big difference in myself. female clothing is never unappealing, but occasionally for whatever reason not appealing enough to change. (not often mind you)

When I change back, it is not a bad feeling. I could stay dressed longer but my life in front of me needs me in male clothes, so I change. I am quite particular about my male clothes btw, although I do not blend or mix with them,

I will say this, I so often envy my wife and women in particular for their amount of choices of how they can present themselves. There are times though when being a guy and throwing on a shirt and pants quick without anything else to do is nice....