feeling very confused

[crystal37]

Don't know if it's right place to ask but all my life, although I've loved to cd I've always considered myself straight. but for last few years I'm feeling more and more attracted to men, I've never been with a guy and don't really know how to go about getting one but I really want to try, does this make me gay or will it go away, am just throwing it out there as I would welcome any input from all you gals that might help.

thanx x

[Meghan4now]

Crystal

That's a very big question that only you will be able to answer. I suggest really thinking about it over a period of time. First are you really attracted to men or is it more the Idea of being attracted to men. Think about some real individuals.

Sometimes while in the throes of wanting to experience a feminine existence, the mind will go there in a construct. "I want to be a woman and women are attracted to men ergo...". But then you find out later it's not what you want. That can lead to a regretful situation. Also consider your moral compass in life. What kind of relationships do you want? How does that match up with how you see yourself and the principles you want to live by?

If you are looking for a fling, I'm sure you might be able to find one, but if you are looking for something long term I would caution you to take your time. And remember any decision is going to have it costs or trade offs. What kind of girl or boy do you want to be?

Weather you are straight, gay or bi, i would take personal relationships pretty seriously. Remember its your face you see in the mirror in the morning.
And also remember you are worth being treated with respect and love.

Best wishes in your journey.

'M.

[Jean 103]

I really don’t like labels that being said most would say I am BI. It doesn’t mean I like all women or all men. As Meghan said only you know what you like or want. Be careful and be taken advantage of.

[docrobbysherry]

I think many dressers fantasize about being the woman with a man. I was certain I was gay when I went thru it.

However, it's one thing to fantasize about men and quite another to be attracted to male parts.

Which was how I figured out I wasn't bi. Soon after that, my being with men fantasies faded away.

[Dana44]

I had a few interludes with men. This was mostly male to male and they always wanted me to be the stud. However time went past and I tried again as a transvestite on two married men. They did know how to use me, I'll say that. It is a feeling sometimes that I get, however I am in a heterosexual relationship. My SO asked me weather I was BI. I told her yes, but would never pursue as long as we are together. When I am dressed and we go out all I think about is her. I'm glad she is with me. She is the most important in my life right now. Now I must say that on several men that I knew, they reflected that it is good to be with men. I had to agree.

[Tina_gm]

I can't give much advice as I have never had any attraction to men regardless of CDing. Others have talked about the enjoyment of being in public and having men admire them, which I haven't had such experience either. Liking male attention and actually being attracted to males/men are two different things. If you feel a genuine physical attraction to men then I would say you are at least bi.

[AmandaM]

You have to be careful with this. I recently confirmed I am not bi. A gay guy I know, who is good-looking, put his arm around me. Now, I've fantasized about being a woman with a man, pleasuring a man, etc. But that just turned me off. In fact, it creeped me out. For a couple of days. Something about his masculinity was repulsive. I had the same reaction when I was 21 and went all the way with a guy trying to find out if I was gay.

So, even though I have had fantasies about "being a woman" during sex, I can't have sex with a man "as a man". It just doesn't work for me. I'm not too sure about trying it while dressed as a woman. I fear that if my wig fell off or something, that it would go badly. I'd feel like a guy again and just get turned off. I think the only way I could do it, would be if I had a sex change. Since I don't see that happening, I think I'm just a CDer with bicurious fantasies. Like has been said here before, the "man" is just a prop to fulfill the "feeling" of being a woman. It might be tough to know the truth about yourself. You may actually like it, or you may be like me.

[Beverley Sims]

You are probably discovering yourself and want to experiment.

[Sammy777]

To the OP -
If you find you are having thoughts or feelings of attraction towards men then you at this point would be considered Bi-Curious or Hetero-flexible.
The only real way to know for sure if you are just curious or actually Bi is to be with a another guy.
This does not mean intimate with them. If you are straight then you probably will not get pass kissing, lol.
Because if kissing makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable then I'm guessing sex will definitely freak you out.

But in the end, the only person that can tell you if you are Straight or Bi is YOU.

By the way, please don't ask if you can "test the waters" with a gay or bi friend.
We hate that shit. Unless your like really hot ...... then we tend to sometimes make exceptions. :lol2:



I've never been with a guy ... but I really want to try, does this make me gay


I was certain I was gay when I went thru it.


I recently confirmed I am not bi.
I had the same reaction when I was 21 and went all the way with a guy trying to find out if I was gay.

Pardon my brashness.
But why does it seem men see themselves or other men as just straight or gay?
What is the big male hangup with being, or possibly being BISEXUAL?

Why is it always "am I gay now?" or "I think I might be gay" when you have had or are currently in relationships with women?
Liking women + possibly, maybe, thinking, dreaming, fantasizing about guys = Bisexual, or at least Bi-curious, not Gay.

Can someone give me a [no pun intended] straight answer to this?

[AmandaM]

I am not bi as I am repulsed by man on man sex. This guy is very good-looking, but it repulsed me. The only way I could do it is to completely mesmerize myself into a state where I totally feel like a woman. I am not opposed to being bi, I just don't feel it. I freely admit I went all the way with a guy once. I didn't like it. Yet, if I had a sex change, I'd definitely want to use my new "part" in the manner intended. If you can come up with a definition for me, feel free.

[pantynlace]

When I was in high school my best friend found my panty collection and we had several talks about it. When I would stay over there on weekends, we would dress up and play together as girls. We would shower together and soap each other up, we would sleep together and give BJ's and hand jobs to each other, but never had anal sex. We had some very hot make out sessions that almost led to anal sex, but neither of us ever crossed that border. We each loved women and wanted to have sex with woman. At graduation we each went to different schools and lost track of each other. I continued to dress up through college and even during my first marriage until my first wife discovered my obsession and left. I love being with woman and my current wife is so supportive of me that I would not explore a m to m relationship as long as we are together and alive. I do have some awesome fantasies about letting a man make love to me, and oral sex and heavy petting would be acceptable to me, but I really enjoy my wife being the man and on top of me. The ability to take off her man made dildo and being there with me as a natural woman is the ultimate fantasy for me that I get to live every day. If something were to ever happen to her and I was approached by a man, he would have to be gentle and caring and accept me as a woman in a mans body. He would have to be really special for me to ever consider that kind of relationship.

[AnotherCuteTGirl]

I was in this position kinda still am. I've experimented a bit because I thought I was attracted to men but really just the thought of being attracted to them was what got me if that makes sense? Like I dress and well a girl has to be with a man so of course my mind said that's what I wanted and of course I tried it but never really got as much out of it as I expected to well not as much as I do with women. So of course I know I'm not gay just not sure about being straight since I know if I was single I'd still be out there pretending to be some guys girl even though I don't find him attractive so I'm Bi/Flexible? I didn't understand the difference between the too and gave up trying to differ them lol

[cassiekat]

Be careful and be taken advantage of.
I hope that was a typo, lol😄 Just busting ovaries😄

[Adriana Moretti]

why not experient and see how you feel? I am bi......I started out just being with men dressed as a girl.....but at this point I've had relationships with men that when it's the next morning and the makeup is off, its still the same person, and now I can be bi in either girl or guy mode comfortably...everyones experience is going to be different...it's ok to be bi...its ok to be gay, its ok to be straight too...as for the second part of your question....getting a guy is easy.....just go out and meet people, put on your big girl panties and hit a gay bar and stay away from shady internet hookups...oh....and stay away from shady internet hookups...did I mention that?

[Krisi]

If you are a male and have sex with a man once and never again, it was an experiment. If you have sex with a man or men and continue to do so but also have sex with women, you are bisexual. If you have sex only with men, you are homosexual.

This is not to say that you can't change from one to the other at some point in your life. I used to work with a lesbian woman who had been married and had two adult children. I never had the opportunity to ask her what made her "jump the fence".

[Mollyanne]

The ultimate decision MUST come from you!!!!!! If you are that conflicted, maybe you should consider seeing a gender therapist. This might help you in more ways then you know. Me personally have bi tendencies and when I'm dressed (which is almost all the time) I become the girl that has lived inside me all my life and I am an "old broad". See a professional!!!!!!!

Molly

[cheryl reeves]

i think all m-f transgenders go through this till they find themselves..when i was younger i fantasised about this,but the more i thought on it the more i found myself attracted to only women.

[c2candice]

You are what you are. Forget gay. Forget straight. Forget bisexual.

Pretend that there are no boundaries. It's ok to be attracted to masculinity. I am attracted to masculine females, does that make me gay?

No, who cares.

You need to get beyond labels.

Don't forget that just because you fantasize about something, it doesn't mean that you necessarily want to fulfill that desire.

Good luck

[kellibra]

c2candice has a point. fantasizing doesn’t necessarily imply anything at this point. your femininity has simply been awakened and it is asking you questions, especially when dressed like a woman.
nothing wrong with that. there are indeed no boundaries. experimenting is sometimes the only way to know for sure.

[Isabella Ross]

I have to agree with Kelli, Candice and Sammie above. Personally, I think every human being is bi on a sliding scale, from tiny or virtually non-existent amounts, to bordering on entirely gay. And I truly believe that no transgendered person is completely straight. But the bottom line is, who cares? Why get hung up on it? Why do some see any inkling of attraction to another man as a sign that the sky is falling? Live and let live. It's 2015, not the dark ages.

[stephi]

Hi

Welcome to my screwed up world!!!!!! - I am the exact same, stoopid situation that I have gave up trying to fathom out ( I think) I would never ever cheat on my wife in any mode. BUT do feel attracted to men and in fairness I have admitted such to my better half, sometimes very strong.

I think as said before that all folks are a bit bi. I do find it really amazing the number of CDs on here are very quick to state I am totally straight BTW - get a grip - you have a dress and make up....... on or would not be here. .... at least be honest to yourself it will not hurt.

I cant offer an answer - other than I cannot do anything about it as I couldn't live with the guilt as if I have went with another girl in homme mode.

I can't help thinking about it as well tho

LOL Stephi

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Follow your heart!

Don't overthink it.

A little (safe) experimentation is likely to clarify matters.

[missynicole]

I certainly have those feelings too....very strong feelings and have decided that I am going to be with a man as his woman.....I think I need to try to finally see...it has taken a long time to reach this point but I believe I am there.....now where is he? :)

[crystal37]

Hi missynicole,

thanks for the post and I have decided to be with a man too as the desire is just overwhelming now, am very nervous about it though and not sure how to go about it but am really exited now the decision is made. just hope I can find one now lol

[AnnaBMarie]

There are some fascinating replies to this post, but I haven't seen any mention of a critical piece of the puzzle. What kind of man is attracted to crossdressers, regardless of our own position on the sliding scale of sexual orientation? As I understand it, most gay men want to be with other gay men, not men dressed as women. That would appear to exclude many of the potential partners at gay bars. It seems like for a male to be attracted to us dressed as females he would have to have some of the same fluid interests that drive us to experiment. Doesn't that make the pool very small? I did see an online ad a long time ago from a gentlemen that wanted to explore his homosexual urges by starting out with a crossdresser as a way to test the waters, so to speak. I've always regretted not responding.

[laura.lapinski]

There have been a lot of good replies already to this post. It sounds like you aren't confused too much. It sounds like you know what you want, or at least want to try. Nothing wrong with that at all. And to AnnaBMarie, I understand that yes, the pool of guys may be smaller for this type of endeavor, but I would bet that there are enough out there that she could find someone like that.

I would count myself as being someone who would be in that pool.

[RachelCross]

FWIW- My experience. I began to have those fantasies as well. To be with a man as Rachel, as I couldn't fathom being with a man as a man (or at least one of us had to be dressed up). My desires/curiosity brought me to a point that I decided to experiment by buying a toy and seeing how it felt and how I felt afterward. I didn't want to drag anyone else into it because I needed to be sure of how I felt. I have to say I loved the experience and the feeling. Since then I have come to accept a few things in my life. For example, I have a dear friend from high school who has been supportive of Rachel and I would LOVE to be intimate with him. However, he is the only man I can think of that I would want to be with. What does that make me? Human, is the answer. I would gladly be with him because of who he is, man or woman it doesn't matter, he knows and accepts Rachel and that makes me want to share everything with him. Its about the relationship, the heart. Not sure if this helps. I would suggest trying a toy if sex is your ultimate goal. Its better to find out that you hate it while your alone and not with someone else. Either way I hope you find your inner peace. ~ Rachel