Manipulating our gender status. The table sometimes turns for us.

[Nicole Erin]

People want to date a REAL woman. Or maybe there is a restroom issue. Or the issues i covered in "Let's hang out with a REAL tranny!" No, I don;t want you to like it on facebook or any stupid junk like that.
We know of all the crap we put up with. How we are manipulated.

But girls, we need to have a chat here, we need to exchange ideas. From the evil mind of Erin comes a thread exchanging ideas about...

How to make your TG status work in your favor :devil:

Input from other TG welcome.

OK so, tonight I was told by this lady I wanted to date that she needs a woman with a woman's body. It did hurt. Ehh whatever, NEXT...

1) So I got to thinking about the women I have dated. When we go out to dinner, checks are either separate or she picks up MY bill. Yeah I have got a few free meals that way. Especially with a couple men I went out with. Not to mention other gifts. I mean chicks paying for MY meal is definitely something I never had happen when living as a man. I guess I am what you call a "dinner wh*re"

2) I know my legs are HOT. So, sometimes I have sold used hosiery on the auction site. No the customers do not know of my gender. A friend taught me how to do that. We often make jokes about men who buy such things.

3) I do not remember the last time I had to open a door for myself when someone was around, especially a man. Weird thing here is that I hate for someone to open a door for me. Yeah weird but that is just me.

4) I walk into a car parts store. The guys almost trip over themselves wanting to help. When I was "Mike Hunt" that never happened. If only those boys knew that I am probably more adept at automechanics than they are. The downside is going to a clothing store, i get mostly ignored.

5) Job hunting. Due to PR junk, some places are afraid NOT to hire us. They at least want to "look good" as to hire diversely.

6) When I see a man out with his nasty wife or G/F and he is trying to sneak in looks at me and my legs in shorts or a skirt and heels, I know it is ME he is thinking about that night when trying to satisfy his lover.

7) At work I had an incident or two of being called "He". I make a fuss, the person gets "counseled". A few may not accept me but they are just gonna have to deal with it.

So then, what are some of the ways you make your gender work for you? We know some try to use our gender against us, but how do you turn the table in your favor?

[I Am Paula]

It's interesting. I no longer have to carry anything out of Home Depot. One side of my brain says 'I can certainly still load drywall myself', and therefore it's sexist to have somebody do it for me. The other side says that as a transwoman, I'm trying to just be mainstream, and not be noticed, and a GG would NOT load drywall herself.
I accept the courtesy, and watch some muscled hunk load my van.

[kimdl93]

As a middle pather, I spend perhaps half my time out and about en femme. Despite my stature, which I consider a dead giveaway, I'm always pleased and a bit surprised by how often a gentleman opens the door for me. I've been equally surprised and flattered on occasions when women have expressed an interest. As a married person, that's as far as it goes but it's fun.

[Dianne S]

I find people more polite to me and yes, guys do hold the door for me. I get a mixed reaction from drivers; some are more courteous and others less so, being more willing to cut me off or do other annoying stunts.

Sometimes I forget myself... I was driving as Dianne one time and a guy pulled out in front of me without looking. I had to slam on my brakes and I was so angry I yelled and gave him the finger. He looked *really* surprised. :) I don't think too many middle-aged ladies do that.

[PretzelGirl]

I like Paula's example. At first, I had a natural reaction to want to hold doors or in that I built up a resistance to accepting courtesies. I don't know where that came from, but I would deny simple gestures as I felt I was burdening other people. So I mentally set my bar to what an "average" woman might accept as courtesies and accept those. Of course "average" can be subjective and maybe regional, but it is loose target anyway. I don't want to feel like I am taking advantage of anyone or manipulating anything. It is just in my nature.

It reminds me of something that happened about a month after transitioning at work. I lead a team of four and there are three of these teams that oversee the high level efforts of the work in my area. Both me and another team lead were short our wingmen due to resignations. The other guy had been waiting for a replacement far longer. The entire group was all male until I changed that. We are in a staff meeting and the boss says that they might have one person to backfill a slot and we needed to decide who would get the person. There was about five seconds of silence and then I said "Ladies first". The other guy threw his hands up in the air and the rest of us cracked up. I asked that the person go to him because he had been carrying the overload longer. I will take basic, classic courtesies but if I want to be viewed with total equality as a transwoman and as a woman, then I will demand what is right but not try and use it to get more.

[kimdl93]

Ladies first! I love it. What's great is how you used that opportunity to reinforce the team!

[EvaMarie]

4) I walk into a car parts store. The guys almost trip over themselves wanting to help. When I was "Mike Hunt" that never happened. If only those boys knew that I am probably more adept at automechanics than they are. The downside is going to a clothing store, i get mostly ignored.


THIS:devil: You think thats bad try selling off classic cars and hotrods and parts that are no longer an interest:o Thankfully I only had 5 trannys to sell as a "Tranny", Im out of them now and yes I know how to remove, rebuild and reinstall a tranny :D Its tough at times to play "dumb girl" with some knuckle dragging moron trying to take advantage of me when Im selling things:sad:

On the plus side they are useful for carrying heavy things, opening doors, buying drinks and dinner and especially, doing yard work!!! :)

[Sammy777]

THIS You think thats bad try selling off classic cars and hotrods and parts that are no longer an interest.
Its tough at times to play "dumb girl" with some knuckle dragging moron trying to take advantage of me when Im selling things:sad

OH HELLS NO!
I have refused to dumb myself down to save the ego of a guy because I know more about the subject then he does, or thinks he does, lol.

"You made a mistake, the tunnel ram is for a small block and has cheap 600cfm carburetors on it. I'll give you $200 for it."
[Can't say I blame him for trying to steal it while the knowledgeable owner was away. Too bad She wasn't thou! lol]

Oh really? Are you sure? Because I took this off the 65 Z16 code 396 with the SHP rectangular heads that's sitting right over there. The two piece intake was welded together to reduce gasket leakage, not because it was cracked. Those are BB rectangular port head openings. The carbs are a matched set of vintage 660 center squirters punched out to 1472cfm all setup and flow tested. Wanna see the flow sheets?
And the price is $850 OBO. Nice try thou :D

Took that poor boy about a good 30 seconds to recover from that one. I thought his friend was going to fall over laughing! :lol2:

[EvaMarie]

Well good for you:heehee: I'll admit to taking less for some things than I ever would have but I just really want most of it gone... Its overwhelming trying to get rid of 44 years of accumulated "guy stuff" I dont have much interest in anymore... I dont like living with it all surrounding me, the more that goes the better I feel... If EVERYTHING I owned aside from my girl things could be GONE tomorrow Id freaking cry tears of joy:)

[Sammy777]

Well good for you:heehee:

All of those pursuits are pretty much long gone. But it doesn't mean I'm still not a fun date at a car show :lol2:

[VickiTheGamer]

I don't go out enough to know but it will be interesting to see how I react when it all starts happening.

Being male out of the house, I have always been the one to open the door (ladies first), open the car doors, carry as much stuff as possible as to keep my GF from caring anything, etc.

I guess once I go out, I will find out. Wow, this is kind of exciting to think about though. :D

[Jamie M]

i do get the message that Nicole is i think trying to get across. we do have to deal with the BS that comes with being transwomen and also that of every other woman. that's a lot of BS but i for one do not feel comfortable in exploiting my new status to try and offset that BS, my inner feminist prefers to address it headon and challenge it. I'm still as capable, knowledgeable and skilful as i was before and I'm not going to play the "dumb little lady" in any scenario just to help me pass or save someone's possible discomfort. The one thing that has changed is that i am no longer as strong physically as i was and i have had to accept help on occasions that i may not have had to before but that's not a weakness that's just common sense.

[lesli]

hi Paula, well, i would have to say: i've seen many women, GG's, at our HomeDepot loading drywall, and other building supplies. maybe it's just a PacificNorthWest thing.