One possibly 2 ticks off the bucket list; The Meeting and the Next Days

[Helen_Highwater]

Ok, here’s the part one update to the original post. I’ll make a second post to describe the “fallout” as I don’t want to confuse issues.
Firstly the meeting with the support group.
I parked a few yards away from the hotel, crossed the road a stepped into the main entrance. Opening the door into the indoor world of the muggles wasn’t as strange as I’d imagined. Made my way to the meeting room and walked in, introduced myself to the group secretary and then joined one of the groups sat around the tables. For someone who’s never met another kindred spirit face to face before you do feel a little like a fish out of water but that lasted for no time at all. Introductions made and then the general chit chat takes over, the, “Have you come far”, “How did you hear about us”, all those sort of things.
The conversation eventually got around to issue such as “Does your wife and family know?” and it was comforting to hear others describe their journeys, those that have always been out, those that were outed by circumstance. Being able to emphasize and relate in a face to face environment means more than words typed on any blog or forum, even here.
The group was a mixed one with MTF and FTM. Some had transitioned, some were lifelong dressers. Some were local, others had travelled. Justine dressed in full maids costume; bright red eye shadow, a mop of curly hair and frilly ankle socks had a round trip of over 150 miles. There was a married couple and a young GG with her FTM partner who were also there for the first time.
The 3 hours passed too quickly and I came away truly glad I’d made those steps through that hotel door. I learned that I’m not the tallest CD’er who steps out into the world. Ellen the secretary was a good 3-4 “taller than me and she wasn’t alone in that. I also learned that passing wasn’t a prerequisite to going out and interacting in public.
For any of the UK girls who want to take that next step and meet others in a safe and welcoming environment and are within reach of North Wales then I can only say this group made me feel welcome and comfortable. The hotel staff were kind, certainly not judgmental. There’s a bar in the room so you don’t have to meet up with any stray muggles and toilets just off the corridor. Would I go again given the opportunity? In a heartbeat. PM me if you want details.

[Brandy Mathews]

Helen
So glad that things went well for you. I used to go to events like that years ago but haven't for a while now. I do miss going to them though. Looking into going to one soon though.
Bree :)

[Helen_Highwater]

I said in my earlier post I wanted to keep the meeting and the “fallout” (I think consequences may be a better word), separate.

So let’s move on to next day and tick #2. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long’un.

I arose, had a light breakfast, showered and dressed to blend, shin length patterned brown skirt, green crinkly blouse and flat knee length brown boots; a little light makeup.
Setting off I needed fuel for the car so used a supermarket self-serve. Drove to a nearby town with a small retail park and parked up. Couple of deep breaths, out the car, coat on and headed into the nearest shop(BHS for the UK girls). Immediately a mob with knives and baseball bats appeared; not really! Just walked in and started to browse. I headed for the costume jewellery, picked out one or two possibles but didn’t buy and then moved on to the clothing section. Not really intending to buy just mixing with the other shoppers. Left empty handed, window shopped a few more stores not really in my age bracket finally making my way into Debenhams. Same thing but this time found an adjustable ring with a bright line stone that really took my fancy so I bought it. SA was pleasant and professional, just like I was any other customer. Decided I also liked the items I’d seen in BHS so went back for those. Stool in the checkout queue had a little interaction with an elderly lady while waiting to be served and again the SA was polite and professional.

So box ticked! Yep you were all right. It’s a genie you can’t put back in it’s bottle.

I was wearing rich red false nails but they had a habit of popping off which I’d put down to the glue, while recently bought, being out of date. So now a short drive around the corner to the DIY store, the domain of the alpha male.

Straight in, no messing, hunted down the super glue, a quick browse of the tool aisle, you’ve got to haven’t you, and then to the check out. Half expected this to be self-serve but wasn’t, still an old fashioned manned till. This time the SA was an older man and while he still did his job professionally, you could tell there was a little uncomfortableness at least with him.

I also needed a lead for my iPod so over the road to Maplins, couldn’t spot what I wanted so found a young GG SA. She took me to the right section, helped me find what I needed and again at the checkout, this time a young male, all was sweetness and light.

Pause for breath but not for long. I also needed some Microporous Tape. Drove to find a chemist, parked and headed into the shop, found what I wanted and at this point though chocolate as I was getting peckish. Next to the choc’s, makeup so I picked out a new mascara as well: paid. I was getting good at this.

So at this point I decided to draw a line under the day’s shopping. Parked along the seafront and enjoyed a stroll along the promenade in the last of the afternoon sun with all the other folks.

Back at the car some time later I realised the public toilets were now closed and I needed to pee. So I took myself back to the hotel from the previous night’s meeting as asked if it was ok for non-residents to use the bar and did they do any bar food. Yes to ok, no on the food front, restaurant menu only. The bar staff remembered me from the previous evening and we exchanged pleasantries. I ordered a drink and took myself off to sit in the hotel lounge for a little while. As I say I needed to use the toilet so went in search and on entering bumped into a GG just on her way out. An element of shock and surprise on both out parts but I carried on walking straight into a free stall. Did what I needed to and went back to the lounge, finished my drink and set off to make my way back to base.

The following morning, breakfasted, showered and dressed; black leggings, black knee length boots and a blue tunic top and light makeup. Drove to a nearby seaside town and in wonderful sunshine walked along an all but deserted beach on firm sand (tide was out).

I’d window shopped a small independent dress shop not far from where I’d been the previous day that had a very attractive black stoned necklace that I thought would suit my SO so I headed there with the intention of buying it as a present. Along the way I noticed I needed fuel again. I only put in small amounts as a way of making me get out there and mix. However this time rather than a self-serve super store I used a “normal” petrol station. The SA was a little taken aback, I could tell from his reaction but the job was accomplished.

Again the call of nature made an appearance and I knew there were some “Pay to pee” public toilets close to the shop. I turned up to find a GG with her young daughter fiddling for the right coinage and after a little while she turned to me and asked if I had a 5p coin for 5 pennies. I said here’s 5p and don’t worry about the pennies and handed over the coin. She thanked me and turning to her daughter said, “The lady’s just given us 5p, isn’t that kind, say thank you to her”. I thought what a wonderful example to set for her child as I’m sure I didn’t pass. However the upshot of all this toing and froing was that the toilet takes itself out of service after 16:00 and it was now 16:01 and neither of us got to use it. Oh well.

So I made my way over the road to the dress shop, entered and was warmly greeted by two SA’s. The necklace I like turned out to be too short so out came box after box of alternatives. We chatted and mulled the pro’s and con’s of various items until I settled on one. We continued to chat while it was wrapped in tissue and put in a presentation bag. I paid, said my thank you’s and left having been again treated with the utmost respect and professionalism.

Later that evening I’d made my way to another seaside town for a mooch around but found little to interest me but came upon the cinema. The Second Best Marigold Hotel was one of the films showing so after a quick brush of the hair in I went. So this is yet another first for me. The SA again treated me professionally, gave me my ticket and I spend the next 2 hours chuckling along with the rest of the cinema goers to the delightful film.

Ok we’re nearly at the end I promise.

Next day, Sunday, the weather was glorious and everywhere was busy making parking a problem. I found a small convenience store and bought a sandwich for lunch and found a quiet spot to eat it. I’d dressed in a shin length flower patterned skirt, black scoop neck tee and brown boots intending to change while out into a dress for the evening. Muppetry prevailed however as I’d forgotten to put the dress in the car. So I did a bit more retail therapy, a couple of kohl pencils and some eye makeup and when back to base to freshen up, do some packing as my time away was coming to an end and head out for my last evening.

It must have been fate I forgot the dress as I chose to go out in a black and while hooped pencil skirt, keeping the black tee and adding 2.5” heeled black knee high boots. If I say so myself I looked good in this ensemble and I felt even better.

Drove to another nearby town, Caernarfon (pronounced Ca-nar-von) and parked near to the harbour and it’s residential/commercial development, oh not before, yes you guessed it, getting fuel. Supermarket filling station but no self-serve. Drew a few looks walking across the brightly lit forecourt to pay. Loved it!!

Anyway, within the development are a number of restaurants. I checked a couple out and settled on a not too busy Chinese. Stood outside for a few moments gathering myself, turned and walk in, asked to see the menu, food looked ok so asked for and was shown to a table. I couldn’t have felt calmer. No butterflies, made the normal sorts of eye contacts, sat down served with a drink, chose from the menu and then enjoyed a nice 2 course meal. Would liked to have eaten more but a corset sort of limits your ability to take on food.

Again I was treated with courtesy and respect by all the staff, one for the other diners (GG) wished me a good evening as she left. Finished my meal, had another (non-alcoholic as I was driving) drink, paid the bill leaving the waitress a decent tip and left feeling very pleased with myself.

So it seems the people I met earlier in the week have a lot to answer for.

[Victoria StJohn]

Thanks Helen for sharing such a wonderful story. It's so nice to see you enjoying your outings with so much success. Cheers,:thumbsup::)

[Katie Russell]

Hi Helen

Glad you've got a couple ticked off your CD bucket list. Hope to have a couple off mine soon!

Katie

[carolyn todd]

Helen
All this time and no pictures. well done with the shopping.

Carolyn xx

[Beverley Sims]

Helen,
Great to see how your UK stay is panning out.

Wales is a great change from the east. Again like Scotland and Ireland so different.

The seaside towns are enjoyable, My pick has always been Aberystwith although I stayed in Porthmadoch? last time.

[Helen_Highwater]

Helen,

The seaside towns are enjoyable, My pick has always been Aberystwith although I stayed in Porthmadoch? last time.

Beverley,

If you mean Porthmadog I know it well. Some of the beaches around there are just wonderful and go on for miles.

[Michelle 78]

Fantastic story Helen really great read. The UK does seem to be getting more accepting these days in a lot of areas but still not all, most people are just wrapped up in their own business. Look forwards to your next adventure!!

[Denise Mary]

Wow! Helen - to do that by yourself is so brave.
I have t but I think I would go to a club where others CDs frequent.
My gf says she would
Dress up and go with me, but up until now I have kept it all in the bedroom and only with one girlfriend or by myself.
I am just learning
Thanks
DM

[Sarah Louise]

Nice story, Helen. Maybe, I should try going out one day!

[Pat]

Wow! You jumped right in to the deep end of the pool! I remember when I started going out I'd go out for an hour or two then spend weeks smiling and living off the energy before venturing out again. You went the weekend non-stop -- so cool!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Great read, thanks Helen! So glad it all went well.

[Helen_Highwater]

If I drew anything from the few days it's that, as many have said in other posts, it's amazing just how wrapped up in our own worlds we all are. It's quite possible I've walked pass a fellow CD'er while I'm in drab and not noticed. Not because of someone really "passing" but because I've been too caught up in what I'm doing to really take notice of others around me. That's not to say that some don't notice you but it's way fewer than I'd imagined.

There are many words of wisdom typed here and those that have counseled about owning the space give sound advice. In my dealings with SA's I set out to behave no differently than if I were in drab and because you're being civil and polite to them, make eye contact, stand straight, it's the natural thing for them to be the same. Being out in the streets, just the act of walking naturally, like you belong, carries you past the muggles.

In some ways I think being out alone is less likely to bring attention than being half of a pair or larger group. Two or more tall ladies will tend to draw the eye. A singleton disappears into the crowd.