Help: Tips, Advice, and Anecdotes on how to pass as a girl.

[Zeldamoonflower]

Hey there I am heading out of town in two months to try and see if if could pass as a girl. I was hoping for advice tips and recommend stuff to buy to help.

[sometimes_miss]

You could always visit one of these places, and just stay on the otherside of town: http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/eco-tourism/photos/12-us-places-where-your-visit-could-double-the-population/lonely

[Adriana Moretti]

confidence.......the beautiful thing is its free !!!!!!!!!

[Candice Mae]

Being gifted a slight frame and soft features, if your 6'5'' and build like a offensive lineman nothing you can buy will help you pass. A good foundation and make up skill are a must, no ones gonna believe an adult woman that looks like a someone got into moms make up and has beard shadow worse than Homer Simpson. Also dress casual, no need for that little mini dress or stripper heels to make you stand out. And as was said confidence, if you look like your scared or nervous it will just attack more attention to you.

[Zeldamoonflower]

Thanks, luckily for me I come from a short family I'd be generous if I said I was 5'5"

[Michelle (Oz)]

Your height is an advantage. There are many resources around with makeup tips, colour coordinating clothes and the like.

My suggestion is not to start with a mindset that you need to pass to enjoy your time out. Will your voice pass as female, can you cover your beard, and so on? Accept that you won't pass to everyone and exude confidence that you don't care. Most times you'll blend/pass but those times you don't won't ruin your outing.

[Nadine Spirit]

More important than passing is owning what you are doing. Translation - another vote for confidence.

I think I pass the glance test, but up close and interacting with me the vast majority of people, if not everyone, knows that I am a guy. So for me, if passing fully and totally and completely, every time, to everyone was my objective, I would never be able to get out of the house. So instead of worrying about if I pass or not, I work on being comfortable, confident, and proud of who I am. I also work hard to dress appropriately, yes sometimes I wear jeans, but often I am in a skirt or dress while my wife is in jeans, but I am not so over dressed for the situation that I stand out due to my clothing choices alone.

I have been going out for about ten years. When I first started I was worried about passing, and I didn't even come close! Now I don't worry about passing, and my wife tells me that she thinks most people have no idea that I am guy. Go figure!

[CherylFlint]

Get your teeth cleaned.
Women smile more than men.
The best way to disarm a SA is to smile.
Act like your happy; that you “belong”.
Dress as the other women are dressing.
If you go to the mall on a Saturday morning and the women are wearing jeans and slacks, you wear the same.
But above all else: be aware of your surroundings and stay safe.
Good luck!
Cheryl

[FrancineS]

Walking like a woman helped me more than any thing else. Properly sized bra will also help.
,

[paulaprimo]

just go slow... blending and confidence are the top 2 for me.
dress conservative, go easy on the make up and bling.

but then again i'm a senor and probably boring... so
5 inch heels, mini skirt, 2 inch nails and exposed boobs
would bring unwanted attention to me, especially if i'm grocery shopping! :)

[Marcelle]

Hi Zelda,

Much good advice already regarding clothing choice, make-up and confidence. The other thing you might want to do is spend some time people watching (not in the creepy stalker way though :)). Go to a local mall (guy mode) and just spend time observing women, how they move, interact, manipulation a purse (an art form BTW), carry packages, stand. Again, do this casually across a broad spectrum of women (i.e., don't follow one gal around observing her constantly ;)).

Don't get fixated on passing . . . a minutia percentage of us do as we all have specific guy features which give us away (our voice being a big one). Just go out and enjoy yourself, act like you belong and stick to safe venues (i.e., don't go to the bar district at night . . . malls and family type restaurants during the day are best).

Good luck

Hugs

Isha

[charlenesomeone]

Another vote for just be you. Smile and have a good time. So what if someone thinks something, that up to them.
You be you, confident that you like you. Lots of great advice on how to not stand out, but be you.
Keep smiling.

[Claire Cook]

Hi Zelda,

I really can't much to what has already been great advice. Notice how often "smiling" and "confident" have appeared. It's tough those first few times -- we all probably were bundles of nerves and scared to death of being read. But what Nadine has said sums it up for me. I just look someone (especially other women) in the eye, smile and the smile really works. One thing that I've learned that definitely doesn't work for me is not to dress inappropriately. I once wore a dress to a shopping mall and felt like I was totally out of place and that all eyes were on me. Now it's slacks, jeans or capris and a comfy top and just enough makeup to hide the beard, at least during the day. I just keep telling myself that I'm one of the girls, and to stay relaxed and confident (it comes easier the more i do it!) and VOILA! it seems to work.

[Helen_Highwater]

Perhaps I can add my penny to the pot as I've just spent 5 days fully fem.

As others have said dress the way the GG's are dressed for that time and location. In the UK flat boots with leggings or thick tights with a tunic style top are in fashion. If out during the day I'd wear those or a longer skirt, more practical than outright fashionable. Daytime go with less makeup. Work on getting a close shave, loads of threads; a good skin primer helps with the concealer and foundation. During the day, a little pale eye shadow with a touch of mascara, not too bold with the lip colour and perhaps the tiniest hint of blush. It helps contour the face. Evenings you can be more bold with the choice of colours.

Learn how to carry a handbag. If person watching see how GG's carry theirs and how they use them. GG's carry their lives around in the recesses of those bags. Just watch how when shopping they place them on a counter to get at their purse. The walk; look on YouTube and you'll find vids of CD'ers out and about who look convincing until you see them walk and then you wonder what happened to the horse! I soon discovered that being able to walk in a relaxed way, one foot ever so slightly in front of the other, don't over do it, it's a subtle thing that changes depending upon how quickly you're walking, will help you blend no end. I found myself being surprised by just how wrapped up the rest of the world is in their own situations and conversations and hence how little attention they pay to others. Times when I though I'd be made by just remaining calm and relaxed I brushed past folks almost like I was invisible.

Walk like you belong there. Don't skulk. It draws attention to yourself. Be as relaxed as you can and then as you find no-one takes any notice of you you'll relax even more. I have a good 5" on you in height and I soon discovered that even in a crowd if I acted like I would if in drab I became just some else out and about.

If you come into contact with someone treat it as if you being dressed was the most normal thing, make eye contact. It disarms them and you control the situation.

In my recent post;
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?226135-One-possibly-2-ticks-off-the-bucket-list-The-Meeting-and-the-Next-Days
the meeting I describe had a language and speech specialist there, a GG, who said the worst thing to do in terms of voice is try to talk several octaves above your natural tone. Quieter and gentler yes, squeaky no. There are many GG's with deeper voice tones.

I hope you get to enjoy your time out and about as much as I did. Please keep us informed.

[kimdl93]

Confidence comes from preparation and practice. If you're make up skills are wanting, schedule a make over with a professional. Chose outfits that are situationally appropriate. And, try to forget about what other might be thinking. You can read minds, so, regardless of how well you are presenting, you'll seldom know when you've been read.

[I Am Paula]

You can spend a fortune on the trappings of femininity, but carrying yourself as one is priceless. Spend countless hours in malls, and coffee shops, and watch how women act.

[meganmartin]

I have no disillusion that I pass when I am out.
Try to look my best and present a lady if I do fine if not that is fine too.

Saw a girl post on this forum sometime back she was asked by someone if she passed, she responded @ 50' I do....
But all the advice above is sound, confidence and not worrying about others is the best advice that can be given.

[Krisi]

You don't say what your level of experience is and you haven't posted photos for us to go by, but from your question, I'm guessing you haven't been doing this for very long.

Two months is a very short time to learn all the tricks of looking and acting like a female. I could try to make a list but really, it would take a book.

I would spend the next two months reading this forum, trying on clothes and makeup and taking photos and videos to study how you look and determine what needs improving.

[tammigurl]

Confidence honey is key...watch GGs in a range of environments...when you're out own it....situationally appropriate clothing is essential eg smart skirt suit and heels in a business district but not at the mall....learn good night and day makeup skills especially contouring to thin the nose or feminise the face and the art of close shaving by reversing direction.....finally smile and don't talk!!!!!

[Beverley Sims]

Zelda,
Sounds interesting, you have two months to acquire clothes and experiment with makeup.
You give few details so take care.