Leslie's Excellent Adventure - Part 1 - The Overview

[Leslie Langford]

Well, ladies, as requested, I am reporting back on the wonderful time that I had in "Leslie" mode last week, and which I had referred to in my recent thread entitled: A whole week of "Leslie" time...and a breakthrough? The stars have finally aligned!

In a nutshell, the "total immersion" experience that I subjected myself to during that week was all that I had hoped it would be - and more so in some respects - and except for a few minor glitches, everything went as planned. I have provided an overview of the week's events below, but for those who are interested, I have also made separate postings on this forum as an addendum this summary to expand upon some of the specific experiences that I have highlighted here.

I spent the first day (last Monday) organizing myself for the upcoming week, and that included getting my clothes ready, making appointments for my manicure, bra fitting, and wig consultations, and generally psyching myself up for the adventure about to unfold. Even the weather gods cooperated, and while it was still a bit chilly in these parts considering the time of year, we had continuous sunshine all week, so it was all good. Definitely still boots and pantyhose weather, but then again, where's the shame in that? :heehee:

I started off on Tuesday getting my manicure done at a local nail salon where I had been a few times before, and where I feel very comfortable now. Wednesday was the day set aside for my scheduled bra fitting appointment at Secrets from Your Sister here in Toronto, and Thursday was reserved for my wig consultation. Friday was my designated R&R day at home meant to be spent fully en femme, and also the day set aside to start packing "Leslie" up again so that she could be ushered back into her closet until the next opportunity to emerge presented itself.

I should add here that I did a copious amount of shopping and generally being "out and about" in between the specific events outlined here, dined in restaurants totally surrounded by "muggles", criss-crossed the city as I went from venue to venue while hitting a number of the major shopping malls, and in addition, stopped by a couple of consignment stores and specialty ladies' boutiques where they know "Leslie", and where she is always welcome.

Among the other highlights of my week were:

- A visit to SexyPlus Clothing, an upscale plus-size clothing store located in a suburb of Toronto whose owner Stefanie I am Facebook friends with, and who always treats me royally whenever I drop by. I hadn't been there in over a year, but she still remembered a particular cocktail dress that I had fallen in love with at the time but was outside my price range back then. She eagerly informed me that not only did she still have it in stock, it was now on clearance and reduced by 40%. What an amazing stroke of luck, I thought, but as it turned out - also too good to be true. It was indeed THE dress, but in a Size 14, not the Size 16 that I normally wear and which was the size of the original one. Bummer... but to compensate for that, I was able to score a wonderful lacy black bustier instead for an eminently reasonable $109, and which is able to give me an awe-inspiring hourglass figure when pushed to the limit as Stefanie did when she helped lace me up (well, as long as I don't plan to breathe afterwards, anyway :eek: :doh: :heehee:).

- Shopping at a Laura store, which is part of a chain that carries upscale clothing lines as well as some of the prettiest and most elegant special occasional dresses available anywhere. Their spring lines were just coming in, so the full range of sizes was still available. I felt like a kid in a candy store, and with the able and enthusiastic assistance of SA Lydia tried on close to a dozen of them. Right now, the prices are still a bit on the high side, this being the start of the new season, so I think that I'll wait a bit until they go on sale before going back. As it is, I've already got a couple in mind that I could be very happy with when that time comes.

I was also able to take a couple of pics of me wearing some of these dresses, which I have attached below. I apologize for the quality...they seem to have come out a bit blurry, and clearly, I still need to master this whole "selfie" thing.

- Supper at an East Side Mario's family-style Italian restaurant one night. I was greeted graciously by the hostess as soon as I entered, and I was happy to see that the place was no longer overly busy by the time I arrived at around 8:45 P.M. I requested a booth, and was immediately taken to one in a fairly secluded part of the restaurant, which suited me just fine. But just as I was settling in and starting to check out the menu, I noticed the wait staff preparing to rearrange some of the tables nearest to me, pulling about 6 or 7 of them together to form one long table and adding the corresponding place settings. Before I knew it, a party of about 15 people appeared out of nowhere and boisterously descended upon that extended table. A bit unnerving initially, as this put me in the direct line of sight of about half the group, but in the end, no one batted an eye or even gave me a second look, so pre-occupied were they with their own socializing. My apprehension over this quickly subsided, and the rest of the evening then unfolded without incident

Even better, my waitress was an absolute sweetheart. I find that most times when I go to a restaurant, it is unusual for the server to come back more than a couple to times after delivering the food and drinks to inquire how things are going. This time, the young lady must have stopped by my booth at least a half dozen times - either to apologize for the order being delayed, to offer me more bread or salad, to provide a progress report on the order, and generally check in to see how I was doing. Was it because she eventually "read" me and was intrigued, or was she simply being nice to an "older" lady who was out by "herself"? Don't know, and don't care. I just happily lapped up the good vibes that I was experiencing, and tipped her generously for her kindness and attentiveness when the meal was over.

- I used the ladies' washrooms on numerous occasions during the week, and had no problems whatsoever with that. In fact, after entering one of them and while proceeding down a bank of stalls looking for an empty one, I suddenly came face-to-face with a GG who flashed me a bright smile along with a cheery "Hi!" as our eyes met. Even more intriguing, after settling into one of the stalls to do my business, I heard what appeared to be a baby in a stroller across from me, followed by the sound of a door closing. Imagine my surprise when I exited my stall, only to see this stroller right in font of me and facing the opposite stall door. Clearly, "Mommy" had just ducked into that stall to quickly do her business as well, momentarily leaving "Baby" outside where it was happily cooing to itself. A-w-k-w-a-r-d...and the transphobic "bathroom bills'" proponents' worst nightmare, but of course nothing happened...neither the dingo - nor the "tranny" - stole the baby. :eek: :heehee:

All that said, "Murphy" did raise his ugly head a couple of times during my week en femme, but these incidents ended up being only minor bumps in the road...

Example 1: I went to an automated cash machine on the second day to withdraw some money, only to have a screen come up telling me that my transaction couldn't be completed at that time. What the H*ll does that mean? Was my card declined or deactivated for some reason? Was it a machine error? Out of cash? Out of printer paper? I then tried the other two machines in the bank and got the same message, so I naturally assumed that the problem was with my card. I also certainly didn't want to go to a teller at that point to get the problem straightened out in person as I would clearly have had some "'splainin' " to do. Turns out in the end that it must simply have been a bank IT glitch, as I tried again later at another location and was able to access my money with no problem this time.

Example 2: I came to my wig consultation with my digital camera fully charged (or so I thought) so that I could have pictures taken during the selection process to help me remember some of the possible choices. Unbeknownst to me, the rechargeable battery inside was on its last legs, and barely held enough of a charge to last more than about half a dozen pictures. Luckily, my wig consultant Maureen had some spare AA's in the house that I was able to slot in instead, and we were back in business without any undue delays.

Example 3: I wanted to take advantage of my wig consultation to also buy some wig shampoo and a wig cap. When I looked into my purse, I only had about $25 left at that point as a result of the day's previous spending sprees. Fortunately, the shampoo came to only $10 and the wig cap to $5, so just under the wire. Whew!

Example 4: By Day 3, my facial skin was starting to become extremely raw from all that repeated and extremely close shaving despite copious applications of lotion at night. This was not totally unexpected, though, and I guess it was just Mother Nature's way of telling me it's time to start packing up "the girl". Oh, how we suffer for our "art" sometimes...

All that said, my week of being "Leslie" 24/7 was a heady experience, and one that I will be hard-pressed to top. I was grateful for having had that extended opportunity, but towards the end I also found myself missing my wife very much. Yes, despite it all, I am still very much a dedicated married man.

Transitioning back to "boy" mode by that point wasn't as hard as I had expected, giving credence to what many of us here already realize on some level - namely that as CDers, we truly do have the best of both worlds despite some of the challenges that society occasionally throws our way because of our unique natures. It's a gift, not a curse, and something to be cherished, not reviled...

[Leslie Langford]

As indicated in my overview post "Leslie's Excellent Adventure - Part 1" from last week, here are some additional insights on specific aspects of my time en femme for those who are interested. This comprises Part 2 - "The Manicure"

I started off on Tuesday getting my manicure done at a place that I had been to several times before, and everyone was great there. The Asian gal who was assigned to me was super friendly, actually spoke English rather well, and was all chatty. No one batted an eye throughout my stay, and although I am sure that I must have been "read" at some point, I was treated just like any other female customer. I also ended up opting for a regular manicure rather than the shellac version on the advice of others here because of potential problems in removing it at the end of my week. I'm glad I did, as the regular mani worked out just fine for me, was less expensive, and lasted for the duration of my time en femme.

I'm actually getting to be an old "pro" at this, having had professional manis done on about 5 previous occasions now. As a result, I am starting to catch on to some of the subtleties of this whole process, along with a greater insight into "girl world". To wit:

- Pick your color as soon as you walk into the place, or else bring your own favorite brand/color with you, as I did. In my case, that's OPI's "I'm Not Really a Waitress" - a rich, dark burgundy red. This latter practice really impresses the nail techs, as it identifies you right away as a savvy and discriminating customer who knows exactly what she wants.

- Don't scrimp on the drying time. The nails may feel non-tacky and dry after a certain point, but the polish will likely still be soft and easily scuffed or bruised. Better to spend a few minutes more under the dryer to ensure that the coat is rock-hard - you will be grateful later on that you did.

- Pay in advance, including the tip. If you don't need to, don't remove your overcoat or jacket either if you are wearing one. Digging through your purse for the cash or credit card to pay for the service or else dragging the sleeves of your coat over your freshly-painted nails can wreak havoc on them, especially if not 100% dry as outlined above.

- Relax and act as if you own the place. After all, you do belong there, just like any other GG customer, and your money is just as valid. Where is it written that men can't enjoy mani/pedis as well, not to mention a nice color on their nails?

In any event, I got the full treatment including the requisite hand massage, which was pleasurable yet weirdly erotic in my case, given that it was being administered by a comely GG whereas I was still a 100% hetero male underneath all of my female accouterments. At one point, I was even gently chided to be more relaxed as she was twisting and turning my fingers in the process of applying the polish. And in a delightful role reversal "girly" moment, my nail tech actually complimented me on my supposedly well-maintained cuticles while candidly pointing out the less-than-perfect state of hers. Brought to mind the old saying of how the cobbler's children have the worst shoes - LOL!

What can I say - mani/pedis...I love 'em, and the associated pampering so nourishes the soul...:)

[Leslie Langford]

As indicated in my overview post "Leslie's Excellent Adventure - Part 1" from last week, here are some additional insights on specific aspects of my time en femme for those who are interested. This comprises Part 3 - "The Bra Fitting"

Wednesday was the designated day for my bra fitting at an upscale Toronto lingerie boutique called "Secrets from Your Sister". This store is known to be TG-friendly, has been favorably reported on by others here, and at one point even included this information (albeit discretely) on their website. When I first approached them with an appointment inquiry via an e-mail, they couldn't have been more welcoming, and this was amply reinforced when I arrived in person at their location...all disarming smiles, friendly exchange of pleasantries, and a prompt and business-like introduction to Kaylee, my designated bra fitter, who appeared to have both an engaging personality as well as no problem whatsoever in interacting on such a personal level with a TG customer.

Before I continue, I should point out that SFYS appears to have changed its business model of late, and now positions itself as a bra fitting boutique first and foremost, and a retailer of fine lingerie as their secondary objective. Only a small selection of their wares is on display along one wall of their store, and the whole purely retail/moving merchandise aspect of the experience is downplayed. The idea is that when you go in, the first thing you see beyond the reception desk is a series of spacious fitting rooms with curtained entrances. Clients are required to book appointments in advance for blocks of 50 minutes at a time, each one is assigned a fitter in advance, and once they establish your measurements and personal style preferences, they go and fetch selected bras that they feel would suit you best from the vast selection in their stock area. Bras are then tried on, assistance with the fit and adjustments are provided, and ultimately the choices are narrowed down to one or more bras in consultation with the fitter.

My experience there was phenomenal. As noted above, Kaylee was knowledgeable, professional, and efficient, and made me feel totally at ease. The only momentary awkwardness I felt was initially, when I was unsure whether or not I needed to remove my top right away for the fitting, or else if I had to remove my forms for evaluation and/or comment to ensure the best possible fit. In the end, neither was required, and once the trying on began, Kaylee discretely left the cubicle every time I donned a new bra, only to come back in for the corresponding evaluation, commentary, and narrowing down of choices. In the end, it came down to two very pretty lacy black bras, one of which she claimed she owned as well and found to be extremely comfortable, and the other, which she said she was actually wearing at the time, and also loved (and no, before you ask, I didn't suggest that - "girl to girl"- she give me a peak to see how hers looked or fit in relation to mine, although the thought did cross my mind fleetingly ;) :heehee: :devil: ).

Amazingly, throughout this entire time there were GGs all around me in adjacent cubicles discussing the particulars of their breast-related anatomy and individual fitting issues with their consultants in the most matter-of-fact manner, but my fitting was handled so discretely and unobtrusively that no one was aware that there was a genetic male in their midst. More importantly, the other fitters - who surely must have known that I was being tended to right next door - went about their business as if this were just another day at the office, so to speak. So overall, a very pleasurable - albeit somewhat surreal - experience, and one that I will come to treasure for some time to come.

I will say this, though - this store caries very exclusive lines of high end imported lingerie (typically from France and Italy), and is correspondingly pricey. I knew that going in, but was still surprised that none of the bras they carried retailed for less than about $120, and the one that I finally selected (by "Prima Donna") ended up costing me around $150, including tax. This is normally waaaay out of my price range, but I ultimately justified the purchase based on the fact that:

a) The bra was very pretty and fit me perfectly

b) The experience included the personal services of a trained and highly knowledgeable professional bra fitter, and those 50 minutes of their exclusive one-on-one attention must be worth at least something. I was treated just like a GG throughout, and was welcomed into an exclusive and very private world that most men can only speculate about. The "Ewwww" factor was totally absent.

c) I confirmed once and for all that my ideal bra size is 42C, which I had actually settled on empirically on my own. This provided me with some much needed validation.

d) I received tons of information on how to properly size, adjust, and wear bras. This included detailed care and washing instructions, samples of recommended detergents, advice on best "bra rotation" practices, the types of styles that best suited me, instructions on how to maximize the lifespan of my bras, how to optimize the tension of the bra bands (especially as they lose their elasticity over time), and helpful recommendations regarding the use of bra extenders, as required.

e) All my personal "deets" were recorded on their database for future reference, and I was strongly encouraged to come back anytime.

f) I felt a strong sense duty to "pay it forward" on behalf of our TG community, and "taking one for the team" to demonstrate once again that we are not all creeps and perverts as some mainstream folks are inclined to believe. To have walked away from that very positive experience and not have bought anything would have left a poor impression on that store, and likely made them less inclined to extend the same courtesies to their next TG customer. This we don't need. We really do need to continue focusing on building bridges with the mainstream community in any way that we can if we are ever to attain the unconditional acceptance that we all crave, and I saw this as my contribution towards that effort.

[Leslie Langford]

As indicated in my overview post "Leslie's Excellent Adventure" - Part 1" from last week, here are some additional insights on specific aspects of my time en femme for those who are interested. This comprises Part 4 - "The Wig Consultation":

Thursday was my designated wig consultation day...and a whole other level of wonderful. The business I went to is actually owned by a "sister act" (more specifically, a sister and her sister-in-law) and operates out of a suite situated in a private home, so lots of privacy there. I did inquire ahead of time as to their comfort level in dealing with a member of the TG community, and the answer was a resounding "Yes!", including reassurances that they already had TG customers whom they were happily catering to as well (no surprise there, from what others on this forum have consistently reported about wig shops).

When I arrived at the appointed hour, I was met at the door with a warm and friendly smile by Maureen, who ushered me straight into their basement atelier. It is actually comprised of two separate private areas, and there was another GG client in the other one who was just on her way out when I arrived. Maureen acted as if my visit was the most normal thing in the world, and quickly engaged in a bit of preliminary chit-chat to get a sense of my preferences as well as explain their process for working with their customers.

Maureen made it clear from the outset that she knew exactly what a deeply personal decision choosing a wig could be, especially since most of her clients arrive there having already been traumatized by hair loss due to cancer-related chemotherapy, alopecia, or the like. She then re-iterated that there would be no pressure to buy right away, that she guides each customer through the process at their own pace, and that most just get their bearings during the first visit and make their purchases only later on during a subsequent consultation. In fact, most of her customers apparently settle for just taking pictures of themselves wearing their initial choices, and then take those photos back with them to mull over (as well as get input from family and friends) before eventually committing to a specific wig. When I asked if I could do the same, Maureen not only agreed, she actually encouraged that because having a satisfied and happy customer was of paramount importance to her. She then proceeded to take detailed measurements of my head and recorded all the pertinent details surrounding my visit and style preferences in a separate database that she set up on my behalf.

According to Maureen, the fact that I already wore a wig(s) actually put me one step ahead of most of her other clients as I was already familiar with the ins-and-outs of that experience. In fact, she got quite a kick out of seeing me playing with the wigs and adjusting the way the hair fell to suit my preferences without any special prompting from her. Apparently, most of her first-timers are quite intimidated by this whole wig adjusting and styling thing, and are reluctant to be so hands-on initially when participating in that process.

I tried on over a dozen wigs while I was there, and most ended up being very similar to my current "go-to" style. In fact, Maureen agreed from the outset that my existing "look" probably couldn't be improved upon very much given my age, coloration, and facial structure, and that we should really focus on tweaking some of the details (hair color, possible streaking/frosting, or some additional styling options etc.)

Throughout the consultation, we chatted just like two GG's, and Maureen was full of tips on wig care and maintenance as well as styling tips. We also discussed the pros and cons of various types of wigs (synthetic vs. semi-synthetic vs. human hair etc.) and surprisingly, it turned out that she was not a big fan of lace-front wigs except for very specific situations and applications. I had always assumed that these were the Cadillac of wigs and the Holy Grail of authenticity, but she felt that in most cases, they represented an expensive and unnecessary kind of "over-kill".

I should also add that shortly after I arrived - and the other client whom Maureen's sister-in-law and business partner Tina had been serving had left - she, too, joined in on the conversation, popping in and out with her own comments and observations as the consultation proceeded. Again, this interaction among all concerned was as natural as could be, and I felt totally at ease throughout.

Especially delightful was the fact that from time to time, the conversations would drift off into "girl-talk" on unrelated topics as the situation arose. For example, at one point, Maureen commented on my eyebrows and what a great job she thought I had done in shaping and highlighting them. This came as a total surprise to me, as my eyebrows are actually the bane of my existence and pose the greatest challenge to my "Leslie" make up regimen. They have always been patchy and sparse since childhood, and I really struggle to shape and fill them out in such a way that they look reasonably natural in femme mode.

Turns out that Maureen has a similar problem except that in her case, her eyebrows tend to thin out at the extremities. And so, before we knew it, we were exchanging tips on products and various application techniques, and this ultimately segued into personal fashion preferences. All of us were soon commiserating on the dearth of good age-appropriate choices for 40+ women since most fashions seem to be aimed at the teeny-bopper set these days, as well as comparing notes on our favorite women's clothing stores (I think they actually learned a thing or two from me as well - LOL!).

By the time all was said and done,we had spent a good 1 1/2 hours on my consultation, ultimately narrowed it down to 3 final choices, and as promised, Maureen took numerous pictures along the way to keep these fresh in my memory, some of which I have included below.

The only negative about this whole experience was that all of Maureen and Tina's wigs ranged in price between $300 and $500, and that's just for synthetic wigs. I can understand how a woman with alopecia or one who has completely lost her hair would require such a good-quality wig which also needs to be able to stand up to the rigors of day-to-day wear, but for a part-time CDer such as myself, this type of expenditure would be hard to justify (not to mention the fact that that my wife would literally kill me! :eek: :heehee:). And frankly, I really can't see any noticeable difference between these high-end wigs and the Paula Young equivalents that I normally wear, and which cost only a fraction of those prices.

All in all, this was a great and worthwhile experience on so many levels, and I learned way more about wig choices, their care and maintenance, as well as styling tips than I ever imagined possible. But best of all, I received professional affirmation that the style that I had already chosen for myself by trial and error was eminently suitable for me, and this represents a huge confidence-builder going forward as I continue to go out in public en femme...

[pamela7]

I think we're all waiting to know if there are more parts before replying. It seems like you've had the most awesome fun - Bill and Ted have nothing on it!

[Helen_Highwater]

Leslie,
Wow, I thought I'd pushed the boat out being Helen for 5 days, yours sounds like you had a simply wonderful time. So pleased for you as I know just how personally satisfying it is. I think you look lovely in the black and white dress, really suits you. My fav wig is the first one, I think the colour suits you better.

[Marcelle]

Hi Leslie,

It sounds like you had a great week and got to learn a few things as well. Love the dresses and wig style choices . . . but I agree that sometimes the cheaper wigs are just as good as the high end ones.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

Thanks for taking the time to detail your week. It is quite an experience to fully immerse oneself in life as a woman.

[michelleddg]

Holy moly! Been waiting for this, thought you forgot about us. Have read every word, so glad you were able to take full advantage of the opportunity and had a fulfilling experience. The consistent theme appears to be that for each of your stops you were paying 50% for product, 50% for service. That's a deal that is often completely worthwhile. After trying on tons of wigs at my seminal visit I chose my go to wig for $200. I found it later on amazon.com for $95, but a) that would be soooo unfair to the wig shop, and b) how on earth would I have known it was my wig? Hugs, Michelle

[Leslie Langford]

Glad to see that you ladies are appreciating my feedback on my wonderful week out!

And no, pamela, I'm not planning any further installments at this time. "That's all she wrote", as the saying goes, and I'm already embarrassed by the amount of verbiage that I've inflicted on you kind ladies here. Somehow, I just couldn't contain the gusher once I got going, so uplifting was my experience...but then again, I'm sure you all understand... ;)

[SandraB]

Great story Leslie. You're so brave. Toronto must be a great place for TG/CD 'ers considering the experience you had.

[Jackie7]

Great posts Leslie, and thank you. Your no-hassle adventures in Toronto resemble mine in New York and Philadelphia, that's very nice to know as TO is one of my fave towns (I lived there for a couple of years in my youth). I'm encouraged to go for a bra fitting for myself, following your excellent experience. I've joined my wife for fittings and bra splurges, where my role is to ooh and aaah and pay, a ton of lavishly expensive fun that pays off for years as she wears the bras, but haven't had the courage to book my own fitting session. Anyway thanks again for such positive and encouraging posts, looking forward to more from your next adventure out.

[MissusMeagan]

Wow, Leslie! What a lovely experience for you! I can see why you called it 'heady': in so many ways you must have felt a sense of fulfillment that was a long time coming. And I would especially applaud you for your strong advance planning - I'm sure that's why so many aspects of your adventure were so successful. Congrats and enjoy the memories!

P.S. I especially love that black and white floral dress! Nice choice!

[flatlander_48]

L:

Thanks for time spent chronicling your time amongst the Hu-Mans. Of particular interest to me is the experience, your perceptions and the impact that it has. To me, and perhaps for you also, virtually everything I do is new or nearly new because we don't have the socialization that females have been working on, and in many case laboring under, for decades. What it does is provide great insight as to how the differences between male and female play out regarding expectations, thought processes, perceptions, desires, etc. It is a good education as to what is useful in society and what needs to be changed because it serves no one. For those of us who mostly live as males, hopefully it will allow us to be better husbands, fathers of daughters, co-workers of females, etc. because we understand more about what's really going on.

DeeAnn

[Julie Denier]

Leslie - thank you so much for sharing all the details of your week with us! It must have been an amazing experience, one that some of us can only hope to share sometime ;)

[justmetoo]

Sounds like you had a lot of fun! I like the wig in the first photo in the Day 4 post, but the blonde wig isn't bad on you either. Some good tips about manicures, too! I have messed up a nail or 2 over the years by not waiting long enough or trying to do something like digging in my purse for money before the polish was dry enough.

[Beverley Sims]

Leslie?
Have you been going out, or are you coming out? :)

[Isabella Ross]

Leslie, really appreciate this blogging. Sounds like a wonderful set of experiences.

[Leslie Langford]

LOL! - Beverley... it's a slippery slope, isn't it? :eek: :doh: :heehee: