Do you feel you have to" pass" to go out into public?

[cassiekat]

I've been kinda out in public on and off for about 18 years now. Looking back on it and looking at yesterday I don't think I ever" passed" or ever could at 6'2" 200. I love stripper heels and went out in them found I was so out of practice I couldn't make it to the gas station, and the cops stopped me for a sec. Should've said walking not working LOL😄 I walked all around in sneakers with zero trouble, a guy said he thought I was a female but then said I looked like a cop?? Second time in my life en femme that I was asked if I was a cop? Are they making police wear skirts somewhere other then England😄

[paulaprimo]

although i try my best to pass its more of that warm fuzzy feeling that i get and enjoy from going out.
i'm sure at best i confuse most people but it makes me feel good and that's pretty much all that
matters to me... :)

[Adriana Moretti]

I dont think anyone passes,....maybe kinda sorta...I know I have been out and nobodys looked twice.....but other times....people have looked...and even then it was all gravy, either way it really does not matter.....as long as you own it....if you do that nobody bothers you..IMO ..

[JenniferYager]

Pass or fit in?

I'm under no illusion that if someone looked hard enough, they could find enough clues to figure out what was going on. However, I do take pride in walking by a group of teenagers and having them simply think I'm another lady walking down the street.

[Marcelle]

Hi Cassie,

It really depends on what you mean by passing as the definition is quite fluid here. IMHO, "passing" means that you could go out in the Vanilla world interact with people (close up and personal) and anyone you interacted with would not doubt you were a woman.

The cold hard reality is, unless you are young, blessed genetically with finer feminine features and a smaller frame . . . a minutia percentage of us truly pass. Even those who have been gifted physically and genetically, still might not pass muster when it comes to time to speak (voice is normally the great equalizer).

Personally, I can blend in as my height, body weight and frame is on the small side for a guy. Add everyday clothing most GGs would wear, some hard fought make-up skills, good beard cover and a wig and I can drift through a large crowded mall and most people will process me (on first glance) as a woman. However, a second harder stare or interaction and all bets are off. Since I like to interact with others when I go out, I know I am going to be read and accept that fact. The sooner I accepted this truth, the more comfortable I became going out in the world. So long answer to your question . . . No, I don't feel I have to pass to go out in public. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Sallee]

I always try to blend if I am going to public non CD places. I have never been hassled but I know I have been read. Generally no one cares. We are all wrapped up in our own world and not looking for CDs. I try as well as I can to pass but I stand 5'10" so at best I am a tall girl usually at worst I amy have some one wonder is the real or is that a guy in a bra But WHO really cares

[Lily Catherine]

That feeling is the exact reason why I don't go out while presented as female yet. While I am confident of blending up to a few metres away (168 cm is still tall as far as women go in Singapore), passing after prolonged interaction is so far away it's not even funny.

[kimdl93]

Passing isn't a prerequisite for me, but I do try to dress appropriately for the situation and pick outfits that work for me despite my larger proportions. But that's me....in the pass vs blend debate I am in the blend camp

[Jillian Faith]

I do try to pass or at least blend in, I don't wear stripper heals to pump gas or go shopping at the mall. Am I delusional to think that I do pass 100%...absolutely not. I dress appropriate for the venue and time of day to blend in with the GG population. I definitely do not try to present as a male in female clothes.

[Kate Simmons]

Personally I don't need to "pass" as I don't go anywhere that I feel I don't need to. Most of my interaction en femme is at LGBT functions or with friends. Why borrow trouble if you don't need it? Cops have been going undercover en femme for a number of years to catch muggers, purse snatchers, etc.:)

[Kirsty Louise]

There is a lot of talk about going out dressed and it seems very popular and exciting, I think it does take a lot of guts going out dressed, the furthest that I have made it to going out is a walk around the back garden at midnight

[Krisi]

When I go out in public, it's an attempt to "pass" or "blend" (I haven't figured out the difference). I wear what I expect genetic women to be wearing at the time and place and try to act like a woman. No hooker outfits for me. Typically no heels either, just flats.

[Pat]

I can't pass, as in "pass scrutiny." But for the most part if I'm out, I'm "out" if you know what I mean -- anyone who cares to have a look will say, "That's a transvestite." For a long time I've felt that it's great for me in gay-friendly places but I didn't want to go to places where normal people expect normal people -- go eat at Chili's for example. People there aren't looking for "my kind of person" and I felt they had a right not to be confronted with me. Lately my friend has been pitching the idea that I'm a transgender person and have as much right to be in the normal world as anyone else. The idea is starting to get traction with me. Transgender people are a rare but natural part of the human race. We have a lot to offer. We have a right to be here. Now that we're gradually building a society where it's not OK to attack us or kill us on sight (and clearly that message isn't totally accepted yet) we can emerge and be who we were meant to be. Whatever that is.

[FrancineS]

Like others said they may look and wonder but if you ooze confidence, and don't look like hooker.Most won't care or pay attention. So no I don't feel I have to pass, I'm not causing a scandal if I were to be discovered.

[Dianne S]

Yes, it's quite important to me to pass or at least blend since my goal is to go 24x7. I want as few hassles as possible.

[Stephanie47]

I'm six foot even and 195 pounds. I am under no illusion that I pass as a woman. Yes, there are a few women who may be mt stature, but, they are few and far between. I have been out during the evening. In the past I have taken strolls when it is dark, but, not late. In the fall darkness falls at a respectable hour, so there is little chance a police officer would stop and inquiry as to whether I was some sort of male hooker. I do not dress like a tart. I dress conservatively in knee length dress and modest three inch heels. I love it when it is raining lightly so I can use an umbrella to shield my obvious male facial features.

I want to not attract attention. I just want to take a walk and feel the cool night breeze caress my legs and play with the skirt of my dress. I dress for the peace and serenity wearing women's clothing brings me. I would love it if I was not six foot even. Five foot seven would be just fine. Not only are there more dresses available, nobody really looks at a modestly dressed mature woman.

[alwayshave]

I'm 6'2 in my sticking feet, add on three inch heels and there is no way that I'm going to pass. That being said, I do my best with my makeup and wear conservative clothes befitting my age. I also only go to LGBT venues, so I'm not so worried about a lynch mob. The only individuals out side of the bar I normally go to who see me are uber/cab drivers, so I don't worry so much.

[AngelaYVR]

Threads about big shoes get shut down because of "been there done that" but this old chestnut never dies.

[Launa]

I'm 6'2 in my sticking feet, add on three inch heels and there is no way that I'm going to pass. That being said, I do my best with my makeup and wear conservative clothes befitting my age. I also only go to LGBT venues, so I'm not so worried about a lynch mob. The only individuals out side of the bar I normally go to who see me are uber/cab drivers, so I don't worry so much.

I'm in the same boat only difference is I will go to mainstream places when I get a chance. I also wear costumes to charity events that are not always LGBT venues. Do my best out there and that's all I can do.

[Bria]

At 6' 3" and 220 lbs, I'm not likely to even blend, heels or flats. Mostly I go out to girls night out at a gay bar, although I have been out in the vanilla world several times with no adverse results. I have one daughter that is 5' 10" and one who is 6" even, so there are tall GGs out there. The 6' one likes to wear platform heels, then she is taller than I am. There are a lot more tall GGs than there used to be, so I think that height alone is not the give-a-way that it used to be. My sister had a Brazilian student living with her several years ago that is 6' 5" and just drop dead gorgeous, I wish I could look like that when I get dressed up!

Hugs, Bria

[Beverley Sims]

I am always passing when I go out.....
Other cars.... :)

I feel as long as you are presentable and dress so as not to attract too much attention, you can't ask more than that.

[CynthiaD]

I doubt if I pass, but I think it's important to make the effort. It shows that I'm taking it seriously and not clowning around. I think if people realize you're serious about it, most of them will respect your choices. As long as people call me "ma'am" and treat me with respect, I don't care what they're thinking.

[Richelle]

When I am out, I just want to be treated with the respect that everyone deserves. I do not care if they think I am a woman or a man dressed as a woman.

Richelle

[Paula_56]

Do I feel I have to pass to be in public?

No, however I try my hardest to pass, being a pretty woman takes effort, I enjoy the process, and the results, when I get Ma'am

If I don't pass, I want them to think "wow she looks good!"

What cisgender woman says it's not important for me to be seen as a woman? What cisgender wants to be mistaken for a man?

[Tracii G]

Dress to blend in 100% girl mode is the best I can do and I know it.
I have had people think I was female and kind of shocked I wasn't after all,if that is passing then I'm OK with it.

[Rhanda]

If to pass means that you fool everyone that you are a woman. No. I don't even want to be thought of as a woman. To be accepted because I look nice is enough for me. I just think that I should be allowed to dress as myself in whatever is aproppreate with the makeup that fits. Crossdressing doesn't have to be gender for me. Clothes are clothes. I just try to look good.

Rhanda

[Laura28]

The fact I don't feel I can pass is probably the only reason I don't go out😂

[jeanine38]

This is a good topic. For me I don't think I will pass nor do I want to try. I'm content knowing that what I'm wearing is from the women's section and maybe pushes the edge a little bit. I don't have breasts nor do i wear forms but i have been lucky to find a bra that fits without creating projection. If my jeans and top are womens and I have on women's undergarments and carry a purse, that's a win for me.

[StephanieinSecret]

Like other posters have said, It is unlikely that I will fool all of the people all of the time- which is largely why I haven't gone out yet. I think I'm rapidly appraching "blendability", though, which is enough to at least get me out the door.

Eventually.

:)

[justmetoo]

No, I don't have to pass to go out in public. I don't think I stand out too much, or at least I've not gotten much attention as far as I could tell while out dressed. That's enough for me. To just be able to go about my business without undue attention, especially negative attention (but being shy, I don't want to be the center of attention even if it's positive. I'd much rather have positive interactions on an individual level. And so far that's what I've experienced for the most part.)

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want to pass, but I venture out with the expectation that somebody will read me. Having said that though, I will always do my absolute best to get as close to that bar as I can before going out. So if, or when I get read, I can then at least assure myself that it wasn't because I didn't try... If my best isn't good enough, oh well. I just remind myself that I do this for me, and external approval and/or acceptance is not required.

[Samantha B L]

I have been going out off and on since I was 19. I started out with a polyester top,purple bell bottums,canvas shoes with orange translucent souls. I had my own hair done up like Gloria Steinem or Peg Bundy. I tried to do makeup but I didn't know what I was doing and I'm sure I looked like a mess. But that was Samantha back in like 1975. I've learned a whole lot since then. i've picked up tons of information from other m to f's and from my gorgeous platonic girlfreind of many years. I have 10 wigs and a very nice wardrobe plus lots and lots of makeup and cosmetics of all descriptions. I come from southern Illinois about 30 miles from St.Louis,Mo. I've lived in Minneapolis/St.Paul since 2005 and I go out dressed to the nines pretty often. I go to places like Cafe Southside,The Townhouse,The Saloon and people have on a few ocaisions stopped me on the street and complimented me on my hair(wigs)or my cowboy boots and artificial fiber fur coats and my makeup and earrrings. What i have to say may sound cynical,but if you are duded up like a female,people will generally assume that's what you are! Not to sound anti-social but people ain't that observant or inquisitive! And everybody gets read once in awhile. A very nice lady in my apartment building figured me out and read me but she was both aproving and nice about it. There's a lot brewing up that's new in the air about tolerance for LGBT/TG/TS/CD people and about respect for our rights so I know that that old business about "guys in ladie's clothes" might not even matter in coming years and anyway,anybody can get read,but usually most people can't tell any better than Mister Magoo without his glasses if you're a guy enfeme or not. But people have lives of their own and maybe they're not real concerned over us anyway. Cheers, Samantha

[LucyNewport]

When I go out I generally dress to blend in. There are certain styles that are so common they serve as camouflage - like low booties and patterned tights. (This winter every single woman on the train seemed to rock the same puffer coat.) If anyone was really studying me carefully they would notice things so I try to be very low-key.

I think it was Charlie Jane Anders who said it best- you will never pass with everyone, and shouldn't expect to. Don't sweat every detail. If you are going out, confidence is your best accessory.