Dressed NOT to pass in public?

[Deane]

Has anyone on here ever gone out dressed, but with no attempt to look like a woman? I'd like to but frankly don't have the guts to do it. Around home I wear all the clothes, but no makeup and I don't shave my moustache, in other words there's no confusing me for a GG. I'll go out underdressed occasionally, but with the exception of a few times driving and once pumping gas, I don't go out in a skirt and cami, as much as I'd love to. Anyone else feel this way or better yet, anyone do this?

-Deane

[jjjjohanne]

At some point, I realized that I do not have to be a girl to wear women's wear. I started wearing a skirt as a guy. Unlike a lot of crossdressers, I am not attracted to being a girl. I just love the clothes. I used to sneak around and wear a skirt outside early in the morning or after dark. Eventually, in the morning, some other walkers saw me. They did not react. I did it more. I started wearing dark hose with a longer skirt. Eventually, I went to the mall. People looked, but there was no greater reaction than people get from wearing lots of tattoos. I started having whole day outings in another city in a skirt or dress as a man. People treat me with respect. Since the whole gay marriage thing happened on social media, I think people have intentionally become more accepting, but I am not certain of that. I live in a conservative area and I feel accepted when I am dressed. I have gone shopping, eaten in restaurants, attended talks at a left-leaning organization, attended talks at a university, checked into a hotel, eaten meals in the hotel, done some volunteering at a store where I shop, flown on a plane, and gone swing dancing; all in a skirt or dress as a man.

I never wear makeup or breasts. I have short, guy hair. I try to dress my age. I always wear pantyhose and ladies' shoes when dressed. I sometimes wish I could go to work or volunteer at a charity while dressed pretty.

Joey

[kimdl93]

Before I mustered the resolve to go out fully dressed I tried a mix of men and women's clothes with a little makeup. I felt incongruous and uncomfortable. That approach just didn't work for me.

[Krisi]

Well I always get dressed before I go out, but either as a man or a woman, not in a skirt and boobs but no wig and unshaven.

Some members have reported on their outings dressed as you describe and their interactions with the public but that's not for me. I don't want to call attention to myself or intentionally irritate people.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I went out a couple of times dressed from the neck down en femme; 6in heels, women's jeans, very thick hip padding, feminine top filled DD bra, head all natural. The area I went wasn't very crowded but the few people that I saw and saw me didn't seem t pay me any mind. I stopped after a couple of times it just wasn't as fun for me as I had imagined.

[Beverley Sims]

I am not ready to accept ridicule for my dressing or lack of it.

[JessicaMann]

I only have the courage to go out under-dressed. bra, panties, nylons, neutral shoes. maybe some natural toned lipstick. I love wearing a bra! I pierced both my nipples a while back, so they are much larger and I seem to bump them on everything?!?! a nice lightly padded bra keeps them at bay, but I can still feel every brush-up my chest makes. with the warmer weather coming, I might have to give up my bras for a bit!!!

[Anita Luken]

Hi Deane; lately due to lack of time I have been dressing "lightly" sometimes. I underdress, put on a pair of jeans and white blouse and a pair of short heels or flats, some light makeup to coverup flaws, lipstick and mascara. I try to wear a hat in a femme way also. I then go to quiet looking stores and shop and try on dresses. The sales people have been wonderful, and oh so helpful. It's like they enjoy helping the femme me get dressed girly. I do avoid busy places though because I do stick out like a semi sore thumb. So exciting. Anita

[CynthiaD]

No, I'm afraid this doesn't appeal to me. When I put on a dress, I want people to call me "ma'am."

[cassiekat]

That's a whole little sub category called skag when you dress femme but don't shave or try to have the whole" femme" experience. In the end it's just clothes. The one problem I have is that I like the" hooker" look and need to be more conservative. I guess for a lady of my age I should dress appropriately:) Kinda think it my be the male chauvinist in me that makes me dress like that? Still working on that:)

[Cheryl T]

No thanks, that's not what I'm about.
This is part of me and I'm not trying to combine the two for effect or anything else. If I'm out then I'm dressed. I'm expressing the woman inside me and not trying to shock others.
If this works for others then so be it, but personally I think this sends the wrong message to the public. Many of us are trying to gain acceptance in the general public and this will be what those outside the community remember, not those of us that reflect a true feminine image.
Just my opinion so please turn off the flame throwers....

[jeanine38]

Absolutely. I can't pass nor do I try. I'm content wearing women's clothes and carrying a purse. The clothes can be a boring pair of jeans and a top with underwear and a bra and this works for me

[DW]

Yes. Have been out several times dressed from the neck down. Love walking around or having a drink in corset, skirt and heels.

[pamela7]

Its my default mode. Fully dressing is for going out for an event, just like my GG SO does.

[Brenn]

Deane - I dress this way very frequently, although more of an androgynous style. Usually women's jeans or shorts, pantyhose and ballet flats or mary janes. I rarely get a second look. I'd like to be a little bolder and wear a skirt or possibly slightly more feminine shirts/blouses. Even a dress if the style were right. Need to work up to that though.

Several years ago I spent a few days in LA wearing women's clothes including skirt, blouse and low heels with short hair, very light makeup and no bra or forms. The few days went OK and I did not have any bad experiences, but I did feel a little uncomfortable most of the time. It really is a matter of just wearing what feels comfortable to you.

Here are a couple of photos from that adventure...
243251243252

[Raychel]

Although neck down dressing s really my style, I prefer all the niceties of women's clothes
but the whole makeup and wig deal, no real attraction to me.

I doubt that I will ever step out in public, I suffered too much torment and ridicule
as a young boy, no desire to go there again.............

[Brenn]

It also just occurred to me there are a number of brave souls who do it well and get away with it...

http://www.hisblackdress.com/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/51106326@N00/

[Deane]

Wow, wasn't expecting answers like this! First, to a couple of you who sounded a little offended at my idea, no offense intended! While I respect (more and more as I lurk here!) so many of y'all's desires to pass, and I admit it sounds like it would be fun, I don't really have that desire. I just really wish we lived in a society where men could do what women do, which is wear whateverthehell we want to. There's nothing in my closet that my wife couldn't put on and wear to Walmart. The opposite is not true. I love wearing skirts, dresses, cami's, bras, stockings, and I think I look good in a lot of them, but it's still not allowed for me to wear such things in public. For those of you who have anyway, I have the utmost respect for you!!

"Skag", eh? Well, I guess I've been called worse. :)

[Dana44]

I do try to dress with makeup and hair. I'm six foot tall skinny and I try to pass. Yet I know, so I find that everybody is fairly nice out there. In theaters, the kids never seemed to care if they noticed. I think I had several smiles from some of the people we met.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I feel MUCH more comfortable going out when fully made up... Being seen at any point between modes makes me feel VERY uncomfortable, (even in front of people who have no problem with my dressing). One of my biggest fears while being out is to have my wig pulled off, or fall off.... I think that would be horrifying.

[FrancineS]

This seems to be my go to look lately. Full wardrobe sans
makeup. Most don't notice others call me ma'am or compliment my outfit. Its nice to be made up but as I age and mores have changed I really like the no or little make up look.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I have pretty much lost any interest in dressing fully. have never actually tried it, but planned to at some point. Started wearing a skirt while at my GF's place, then went out in it. Last Summer spent 6 days away in Vancouver area, and was wearing a skirt virtually the entire time. T shirts or sweaters on top. Men's shoes, no makeup, shaved head.

No-one said a thing. Got very few visible reactions that I saw, and the ones who did, simply blinked, scanned me once, then sort of shrugged and carried on.

Have been given permission to wear them at work, still short a bit of courage for that.

[AlanaG]

Add me to the list that wear skirts while in male mode. I would never pass as female due to my build. I found the Skirt Cafe forum www.skirtcafe.org and realized that I don't have to be or look like a woman to wear some of the clothes in public.

[suzanne]

Guy in a dress, that's me. With my proportions, there's no way I could conceal that I'm a male of the species, so I don't try. My approach is to wear clothes that are age appropriate, tasteful and properly fitting. People look, but don't respond to me. Some women offer compliments or ask where I buy my shoes, but I've never had a negative comment.

My secret hope is that some deeply closeted male CD will see me in public and realize "Hey, if he can do it, so can I". I may have come close recently. I was in a store , dressed in a skirt, sweater and heels, looking at dresses. (BTW, I found a gorgeous one that day, but that's another story). Another man, slightly older than me, was in there by himself. He was shopping for bras, "For my wife", I heard him say. "Horse Hockey", I thought to myself, "I'd bet heavily that it's for yourself." but said nothing out loud. Instead, I tried to be visible to him without actually approaching, so I wouldn't spook him

[veronicapvc]

This seems to be my go to look lately. Full wardrobe sans
makeup. Most don't notice others call me ma'am or compliment my outfit. Its nice to be made up but as I age and mores have changed I really like the no or little make up look.

very nice

[Pixiesmate]

I too am the "Dude in a dress". I won't pass - not now, not ever. The mustache is a bit much, even for women of a certain age and a Mediterranean background. I like my 'stache, I've had it for more than 40 years and don't think I want to remove it. I also adore women's clothes, from featherweight fabric tops to the heels. Like you, oh gentle OP, I want to wear what I want. I have been sneaking up on this point for a while; I shave my legs, I wear paint on my toe nails, underdress because I like the fabrics and the feeling of it all. In the last year and half, with much support from my SO, I have actually begun to wear skirts in public. The outings have been sporadic to be sure, but they have occurred. As an aside, friends know of my desire to wear womens clothing and I was offered the opportunity by the hostess to attend a formal gathering in a dress, as long as the dress met the required color scheme she set forth for all the womens clothing. Alas, a previous commitment precluded that from happening, but the exhilaration and abject fear that invitation brought forth was almost overwhelming.

I try to dress age appropriate, with a skirt, heels and hose and usually a mans dress shirt. The outings have been in the day time and I have discovered, like a good portion of the posters on this site have said, that the most difficult part is overcoming the fear that we have in our heads. Obviously the world is still spinning, the sun still comes up in the east and at least in my case, I haven't been stuck down with a bolt of lightening out of a cloudless blue sky for appearing in public in a skirt and heels.

Our desire (to wear what we want) is in some cases a far easier challenge to overcome than the torment that some of the women on this site are going through in their search for their own truths. For that I am grateful. We still have the social stigma to overcome, but it can be done. Another responder to this thread mentioned skirtcafe.org, it is also a wonderful site for those of us who identify as male, or mostly male, and wish to wear the clothing of the opposite gender. Both sites (this one and skirtcafe) offer support and encouragement to those of us who are willing to search for our own truths about who we are, and where we think we would like to go on our journey. I am going to suggest that you start wearing the skirts and dresses that you want to. It's frightening beyond belief the first couple of times, but is also liberating and empowering at the same time. It seems to be working for me so far, I hope it will for you as well.

[Eryn]

On weekends I tend to be pretty lax about my male mode dressing. I'll wear Capris in neutral khaki, denim and OD colors and T-shirts that are from the women's side of the aisle but aren't overtly feminine. I don't wear bra, forms or makeup. I wear stud earrings that are larger than most men would wear. I have my own above-the-shoulder hair and clip it back behind my ears for convenience sake with ordinary Goody clips. I normally wear athletic shoes and no-show socks. I carry a khaki mini messenger bag as a purse in male mode

I get ma'amed now and then, particularly if approached from behind. Very few people call me "sir" probably because they are afraid of misgendering a mannish woman. I don't mind either way because I am presenting as I wish to present.

[Rachel Morley]

Has anyone on here ever gone out dressed, but with no attempt to look like a woman?
Well no, not like some of the previous posters have done where they are wearing very feminine clothes (dresses/skirts etc) but otherwise present as a guy, but what I do want to tell you about me is that, well, I do really like wearing girly clothes, and so I wear stuff that is not that girly per se, but my clothes do stand out as obviously women's clothes in boy mode. For example, I like wearing women's jeans, tees and hoodies in fairly significant girly colors and styles ... but I otherwise present as a guy (i.e. no wig or makeup for example). Yes, people do look at me sometimes, but often people don't seem to care. Btw .. I do "turn up the heat" at home a little more. :)

Despite all of what I have written above, when I'm going out to our TG support group's events I always dress fully and present as best I can.

[Jason+]

Well I always get dressed before I go out, but either as a man or a woman, not in a skirt and boobs but no wig and unshaven.

Some members have reported on their outings dressed as you describe and their interactions with the public but that's not for me. I don't want to call attention to myself or intentionally irritate people.

Why would you equate a lack of desire to pass with attempting to intentionally irritate people? Personally my last outing was to go down to San Diego to pick up my wife's favorite pizza. The pizza place who has seen me either way seems pretty happy to have repeat business whether in a skirt or pants.


No thanks, that's not what I'm about.
This is part of me and I'm not trying to combine the two for effect or anything else. If I'm out then I'm dressed. I'm expressing the woman inside me and not trying to shock others.
If this works for others then so be it, but personally I think this sends the wrong message to the public. Many of us are trying to gain acceptance in the general public and this will be what those outside the community remember, not those of us that reflect a true feminine image.
Just my opinion so please turn off the flame throwers....

I do have a differing opinion but no flame throwers involved. :) It is a part of me too and I am trying to combine the two options into one integrated and whole me. The part of me that likes skirts, dresses and heels is as inherent a part of me as the musical part. I recognize that I may be more shocking than perfect presentation but I also hope those I encounter will remember that the "man in the dress" was also polite and courteous. It seems to be working so far. The waitress at my favorite breakfast spot doesn't seem mocked or shocked and will ask why I haven't been in recently if I go a few weeks without a visit. If you "pass" or at least fly under the radar have you been "accepted" or just not noticed?



That's a whole little sub category called skag when you dress femme but don't shave or try to have the whole" femme" experience. In the end it's just clothes. The one problem I have is that I like the" hooker" look and need to be more conservative. I guess for a lady of my age I should dress appropriately:) Kinda think it my be the male chauvinist in me that makes me dress like that? Still working on that:)

While kind of derogatory "skag-drag" always has been my favorite colorful term although I do prefer my face and legs to be normally shaved.

I want to be clear, those with a need or even just a desire to pass aren't wrong it just isn't me and it's not the only way.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I don't think what I do conforms to what you would think of as "skag-drag"

I am still working on what I think of as "my look" but I'm definitely not trying for what most here are describing. I am quite clearly male, I am not dressing to shock or confuse, I am not trying to make my physicality appear to be anything other than male. I do, want to grab something of the female's way of displaying my physical attractiveness. Skirts and hose draw attention to the legs, my legs look good, I like showing them off. Heels can do that too, but that, to me is just a step too far. I have some issues with heels on women anyway, and I can't make myself taller without risking my head in every doorway.

You could say that I am displaying feminine attributes, but I have disagreements with what mainstream society regards as specifically masculine or feminine traits.

[Katrina26cd]

This has been what i do mostly lately i stay pretty busy so dont have the time to fully dress

i usually where a unisex top then skirt sometimes pantyhose if its not too hot always have painted toes and heels or sandals sometimes paint my nails and wear some light makeup

[annecwesley]

I've sort of been "transitioning" from transvestite to "guy in a skirt". When I take trips out of town I will often go kilted (stealth skirt). Sometimes I'll wear pantyhose and female shoes (guy's shoes are too klunky) with a regular skirt. I'm getting more comfortable with it, I'd love to see more men enjoy some fashion freedom.

[Rachael Leigh]

The closest I come to being out would be I wear women's jeans and I will occasionally take my exercise walk in the park in my girls shorts and top.
Nothing really crazy, never had an issue its usually because Im just wanting to dress how I want and not worry what others think.

[Brenn]

I've sort of been "transitioning" from transvestite to "guy in a skirt". When I take trips out of town I will often go kilted (stealth skirt). Sometimes I'll wear pantyhose and female shoes (guy's shoes are too klunky) with a regular skirt. I'm getting more comfortable with it, I'd love to see more men enjoy some fashion freedom.

I do this with women's shorts. My next step is to try with a skirt. I have gotten quite comfortable with ballet flats and shorts.

[CherylFlint]

No way. Not once, ever.
The world is just a too dangerous a place to play “dress-up” as if it’s some kind of game.
John Wayne said it best, “Life is hard but it’s a lot harder if your stupid”.
Just about 100% of guys can pass as a women. If you’re too fat, don’t eat so much. If you have a belly, don’t drink beer. If you want nice smooth skin, quit smoking.
Eat healthy and exercise. That is, of course, you take dressing seriously. If not, well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?
Me? I’ve made a very large financial investment in forms, bras, blouses, gowns, shoes, purses, makeup, wigs, stockings, girdles and a thousand and one other things to take dressing lightly.
I dress for real.
I suggest you do the same.
Good luck and stay safe,
Cheryl

[jjjjohanne]

This was on BBC News this week:
http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150331-womens-clothes-for-men

Women's clothes for men, or girlfriend dressing.

[Jason+]

John Wayne also said "You're short on ears and long on mouth.”

Big Willy said "If the way I dress is a problem for you then congratulations, we've identified the owner of the problem."

Enjoy your investments and do it your way to the best of your ability. Don't mistake your illusion for someone else's reality along the way.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Have to disagree Cheryll, 100% of men cannot pass as women. Some can, with varying degrees of success, some will always have identifying traits, unless they go to a profesional transformation parlour. I know a post op MtF, and she, after 2-3 years, some facial surgery, and hormones, is what I would call passable. On the other hand, I just being a guy, have been around lots of places in a skirt, and have zero issues. I've been noticed, sometimes, and had some raised eyebrows, but not one word, let alone a confrontation. I can virtually guarantee without great preparation, at a professional level, that I could not go out trying to pass, and that would I think, increase any risk. I don't think around here I would get any serious danger, but I would expect many more people noticing.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was young it was about being a girl. I dressed and went out as a girl. As time went on I also wanted to be me. I like being a guy and liked girls and their clothes. Today I enjoy the clothes and while I don't try to look or be a woman I dress in what many women wear.

[AlyssaS]

Never in skirts, but I've gone on trains/planes with feminine sweaters, VS add two cup bras but no forms, women's jeans, and women's flats or 2-3" heel boots.

[docrobbysherry]

I've chatted with a few on line and met one at a T girl event a month ago.

Other the dress and heels, she made no attempt to pass or fool anyone. Altho she hadn't been out much, we met at a vanilla venue. She seemed quite comfortable and confident.

While some of my T friends mite have been cautious about hanging out with her, it doesn't bother me. She was good company!:battingeyelashes:

And, since I can never pass and live in a glass house? I'm the last one to start throwing stones at anyone for how they dress!:tongueout

[AlanaG]

No, I would never pass. Today I wore a skirt and pantyhose with a mans shirt and shoes. The wife and I went out to eat, shopped in a mall and then went to Costco. I liked wearing the skirt and I don't care what anyone thinks. There are no "rules" to dressing. Do what you're comfortable with.

[Sonya]

I think this is a great thread and once again it demonstrated how much we are all the same but different. If you love wearing skirts and high heels why shouldn’t you have the right to do that in public or private, why do we have to try to pass??? It really is just about the clothes for some of us and there is nothing wrong with that. I would love to walk out of the door with the outfit below, maybe one day I will!

243632

I am really not sure where I actually sit on the gender spectrum and I do enjoy dressing full so that I can blend in without attracting too much unwanted negative attention. I know I won’t be breaking any laws where I live if I decide to wear typical female clothes and go out in public and ultimately it is my choice but it is still very hard for me to ignore other people’s expectations on how a genetic male should present himself.

Love and respect to all.

[Stephanie Voorhees]

No way. Not once, ever.
The world is just a too dangerous a place to play “dress-up” as if it’s some kind of game.
John Wayne said it best, “Life is hard but it’s a lot harder if your stupid”.
Just about 100% of guys can pass as a women. If you’re too fat, don’t eat so much. If you have a belly, don’t drink beer. If you want nice smooth skin, quit smoking.
Eat healthy and exercise. That is, of course, you take dressing seriously. If not, well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?
Me? I’ve made a very large financial investment in forms, bras, blouses, gowns, shoes, purses, makeup, wigs, stockings, girdles and a thousand and one other things to take dressing lightly.
I dress for real.
I suggest you do the same.
Good luck and stay safe,
Cheryl

I find most every thing said in this post to be offensive, and flat out arrogant. Because I don't do it the way you do, I'm stupid? I don't think so! What exactly defines "dressing for real"? Fooling someone into believing that you're something you're not (female) is "dressing for real"? Also you imply in your rant about being fat, having a belly, and having bad skin being giveaways. What world do you live in where genetic women don't have these problems too? I dress for me... No one else. I am doing no one a disservice by having a beard with my dress and heels.

[heatherdress]

Has anyone on here ever gone out dressed, but with no attempt to look like a woman?
-Deane
Deane - Not sure why you would want to go out dressed like a woman but with no intention of looing like a woman. Does that mean simply wearing some female items? Or fully dressed without makeup/wig? Sorry, but what do you mean?

I enjoy wearing women's shoes and jeans in male mode. Sort of "Heather lite". Maybe some other items. Or some subtle makeup at night. Usually very unnoticeable. No one really cares what you wear.

I suggest you experiment. Wear something that you would enjoy wearing. Stay in your comfort zone and expand as you build confidence.

[Mgreenva]

excellent thread. I too do not try to pass. I wear hose and flats out and about and no one seems to care.. I have gotten giggles and have gotten smiles but what does it matter anyway. I love the feel of hose and secondary ladies shoes. I only once went into a gas station wearing heels and that was over the top for me but I go into and out of town walmart wearing flats on a regular basis. im just comfortable doing it..Im not hurting anyone and could care less what any one thinks

[MaryAnn40c]

I have gone out dressed without makeup and really most are looking at what you are wearing then the face. Men comment on your legs and shoes...women just look and wish they could wear heels.

[Majella St Gerard]

I always present as a "man in a dress". That is the way I feel comfortable, I do not wear wigs and try to pass myself off as a woman, that is just not me. Even if I tried, I could NEVER pass. I love the clothes, I love the way they make me feel and I think I pull off the look very well. I go out very often dressed and have had only one bad experience when someone yelled "queer" at me from a passing pick up truck. Lots of people assume that I am gay and I do get asked a lot of questions about my attire, I simply explain myself and most people say that they admire me for my courage and "balls". That is my style and I think it works for me, it's not for everyone. Some people here feel the need to go all out and be 100% female in appearance even though they do not "pass". There are no rules to this, whatever floats your boat.

[Tracii G]

Pretty much how I dress everyday in guy mode minus the breast forms.
Womens jeans, top and shoes.
Bracelets and rings sometimes.

[jacques]

man in a dress at home; woman in trousers outside.

[GypsyGirl10]

Deane: Thanks for asking the question. It sure raises some people's hackles, but I'm like you, mustache too. At home I dress in women's clothes, jewelry, and heels but don't try to look like a woman, although I've gotten more femme as time goes on. My wife is cool with my current situation and sometimes draws my attention to clothes, jewelry, or purses I might like. But to your question:

I started wearing androgynous-looking women's shoes with 2-3" heels in the '90s and carried a small "man bag" but didn't go further. I got laughed at once in a mall and it made me chicken out, although I did confront my detractors. Last year I started hiking in a short skirt but otherwise male presentation. It was amazing! On hot days it felt so liberating to be free of the inseam and feel the air between my thighs. This winter I hiked in women's tights. Got a couple of uncomprehending looks from guys but the women were OK with it. Gradually I've gone out - and to work - in more and more jewelry (gemstone necklaces, small earrings, bracelets). People have asked about them and I say I'm just being creative. I'm sure some think I'm gay, but that's their limited thinking. I do yoga in women's colored tights and have had some fun conversations with other male & female yogis about them. It usually makes others get more creative and colorful too. Some people stare but I just own my style and act confident. I can also laugh at myself and that eases people's confusion.

Lately I've wanted to wear wedge-heeled sandals out to the store, etc., but haven't yet. They look great with my skinny jeans and I'm really tempted. I've been wearing dangling earrings out too and had some nice compliments on them.

As others have mentioned, I couldn't pass as a woman without hormones and some surgery and I'm not sure that's my goal anyway. To me it's about gender diversity and not just fitting into (passing) one side or the other of a rigid gender binary. I don't fit into the male binary now or I wouldn't be crossdressing. :battingeyelashes: So I'm trying to express what I am, somewhere in between, without getting the s**t kicked out of me. Baby steps for now but I see more creative expression coming.

Thanks, Gypsy.

[ThiHi]

Wonderful discussion. I'm not trying to "pass". That said, I get Ma'amed everywhere, almost no matter what i wear. I wear MJs for shoes (So comfy, need new ones), cute socks, women's pants, sometimes leggings. I have some nice rings I wear. No facial hair, and I'm small for a man. I have vacationed in skirts, but haven't done that where we live.

Like many of you, I believe it's what you want to wear or do, as long as you're not trying to hurt anyone. I've had more than a few looks, but very few conversations. I even got hit on in Vegas ;-)

Wear what you want, where you feel ok doing it.

And, please don't try and dictate what others should do. That sets us fallback, psychologically and emotionally. To tell someone that's trying to find their path, their comfort level that they're wrong to feel as they do is just hurtful. Please refrain from that. Thank you.

[CherylFlint]

Maybe I missed something.
I believe the operative word was “SAFE”.
Hello? Anybody paying attention? I’ve been dressing for 30 years and I know that when a guy, or guys, think you’re a woman and make a move, only to realize you’re not a real FOX or get turned-down, then they can get pretty darn mean in a heartbeat.
That was my point.
So go ahead, put yourself in danger if it makes you feel good, but if you do, don’t say you weren’t warned.
The idea here, I thought, was to offer CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts, and the MOST constructive thought is to offer suggestions on how to be safe and hints from life’s experience to keep us safe.
Enough said.

[Tina955]

I'm thinking if guys had the exact freedom to wear whatever they want with absolutely no prejudice like women have the pleasure of doing, it may ease the gender dysphoria for many. Especially for those who just want the freedom to express what they like to wear and not trying to pass as a woman. But I guess it would depend where you are on the GD scale how much it would help.

Tina

[UNDERDRESSER]

Maybe I missed something.
I believe the operative word was “SAFE”.
Hello? Anybody paying attention? I’ve been dressing for 30 years and I know that when a guy, or guys, think you’re a woman and make a move, only to realize you’re not a real FOX or get turned-down, then they can get pretty darn mean in a heartbeat.
That was my point.
So go ahead, put yourself in danger if it makes you feel good, but if you do, don’t say you weren’t warned.
The idea here, I thought, was to offer CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts, and the MOST constructive thought is to offer suggestions on how to be safe and hints from life’s experience to keep us safe.
Enough said.Safe? Where does it say that in the OP? I have to wonder who is safer, a guy who is trying to be nothing more than a guy, albeit wearing a skirt, or someone who is trying to pass, but fails at the last moment when her attempted brush-off of the crude pick up line goes wrong when the voice breaks? I don't really expect to get hit on wearing my skirt, but I have had a dude compliment me meaningfully on my bike shorts while browsing in a book store. Then, I did the same thing I would do if it happened in a skirt, thanked him and turned away.

What you feel is what you feel, that's your privilege, but your reaction to other points of view seems far too extreme, at least that's the way it comes across in text. If you see what you do as some sort of ...mission? Avocation? That's you, and your thing. It isn't mine. I admit that seeing how some of the other guys do it is something I wouldn't try, because it's not what I'm after, and it would bring more attention. If they want to take the risk, their lookout. If you want to advise them otherwise, fair enough, but please tone down the attitude.

[Alice_2014_B]

Sometimes I go, what I call, half-dressed around the house, which is generally just a T-shirt, skirt and heels with an occasional bra and/or black pantyhose; that's no makeup and facial hair just however it is that day.
Other times I'll go fully-dressed and not leave the house.
But every time I leave the house or at band practice I'm fully dressed to pass.
:)

[Teresa Monsivais]

I think that's awesome for those that who go out they way they want. For me its always been the heels. I would love to just use heels with my men's attire. I usually wear mens dress pants that are skinny/straight leg pants that are slightly fitted and look well with heels. I usually go out that way to my car and wear them during my drive. However, I change once I get to work and I am always careful when I leave the house so that I don't get caught wearing them. When I go out as Teresa I do try to perfect the look but I know I will never have the look to pass. I try to perfect the look simply because I like to believe one day I can blend in. But I have become more comfortable with not blending in. I do wear some yoga pants out as a guy and bought some woman's running shorts for this summer (not spandex or super short but shorter than mens and in colors that can pass as guys.) When I have worn my yoga pants my gf does notice that few people glance because the pants are somewhat tight around my butt and thighs :) but for the most part it gets unnoticed or I tend to think that it does since I never had any problems. For me, dressing as Teresa allows me to wear heels in public without showing who I am. It's my disguise if you will to hide my male mode. I have to be careful not to get recognized because of the work I do, but even if I did not do what I do for a living I think I would still not have the courage or comfort to go out in heels. So I think that awesome that there are people out there doing what makes them happy. Keep doing what makes you be you!

[grumpus]

Sure. From another one of those "guys in a dress" (or pants and blouse and full bra) I really enjoy just putting on those clothes and going out. I don't want to be a woman, as I'm comfortable with my masculinity. Yeah, it's a contradiction, but that's who I am.

[jjjjohanne]

I never present female, but wear all womenswear including skirts/hose/etc. when I go out. I avoid bows, floral patterns, lace, low cut neck lines, etc. I have caught myself saying to sales people, "No, I don't want to look feminine." or "I want to dress pretty and retain my masculinity. Once a sales person gets it, they are a really big help. Until then, there is a lot of confusion and wasted time...