The stepford wife

[soccer1986]

Hi to all,
With all this being new to me I want to take it slow and really think about what I am doing. I still have a lot in my mind lately and I enjoy fantasizing about my future and what I would like. One of the fantasies that I have been having is about stepford wives. I have always been intrigued by them, the way they carry themselves and how they look at so many details to have a happy home. I been thinking that it would be really fun to be a stepford wife for a girl. I know that in todays world this concept is outdated but I think it would be fun.

[Janine cd]

I see your point. The Stepford wives. Really do exhibit the ultimate picture of what a submissive wife would be like. Unfortunately, this is not reality today.

[Alice Torn]

I guess i don't know what a Stepford wife is. I have heard the term, but never heard what one is.

[Barbara Jo]

"The Stepford wives" is a 1975 si-fi movie set in the fictional town of "Stepford Connecticut" where real wives were secretly replaced (with a husbands approval) by feminine dressed, subservient, docile, life like robots that looked and sounded exactly like them, so much so, that only the husbands of this esoteric secrete club knew it was not their flesh and blood wives who had been killed.
They were also fully functional sexually and of course never said "no" .

Thew was an awful 2004 remake of it that is actual billed as a comedy and I would pass on it in favor of the original which could never be considered comedy.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Soccer, That was a cute movie the women were just perfect.:daydreaming:

[Danitgirl1]

I am sorry, but I just do not get why anyone would want to be a soulless automaton devoid of self will, self worth and intelligence.
Even as a joke, this is really scary.

<climbs off soap box>

[soccer1986]

I did not mean the robotic attitude or having no mind at all, this would be a loving partnership. I just like the idea of being all done up for the one you love and making sure that they are happy. More of a good wife type of deal. There is plenty of self worth in making your partner happy.

[Danitgirl1]

Nope, sorry that carries no appeal for me. I need equality in my relationships, with space to challenge and be challenged, intellectually, physically, spiritually, emotionally etc...
That to my mind can't happen in an unequal relationship...
I think those that think the 1950s was idyllic are projecting what they want their female partners to be to their male selves. Put yourself (truly) in that position and you may have a different idea. No finances that are your own, few rights, lots of responsibilities, no autonomy, no freedom, no ability to escape if things get nasty... Not as much fun as it may look from the outside in my opinion.
But each to their own, just not my scene at all and not one for my daughters either.

[msniki48]

sounds like a typical 50's wife to me... and that is ok with me too...

hugs niki

[Katey888]

Ira Levin's novel was something of a dark satire on chauvinism amongst other things - but I'm not accusing the OP of this... :) I think it's more the idea of how impossibly perfect they are... not a hair out of place or any hesitancy about what is exactly the right outfit or hairstyle for today's BBQ...

After all, don't many of us reflect this approach in our presentation? Trying to be as femme as we can in our mind's eye? Making sure that we do address every little detail from eyelash and earring to lingerie and slingbacks... How often do the GGs here also tell us our ideas are outdated? (I don't always agree, BTW - I think most of it is down to culture and location... but I digress... ;)) Wasn't much of the growth of the US media in the 50's and 60's about portraying perfect nuclear families with perfect moms and kids and perfect environments and... :thinking:

Quite a few tens of millions demographically have subscribed to those ideals over the decades, I think, and are still absorbing the brainwas... errrm... important commercial messaging today. All good for keeping the plebs in their place and happy with their lots...

[Fade out to strains of The Monkees 'Pleasant Valley Sunday'...]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUzs5dlLrm0

(And I want Davy Jones coat...)

:D

Katey x

[Dianne S]

@Danitgirl1, yeah I also find it a little disturbing.

[NicoleScott]

I don't see anything disturbing about someone fantasizing about looking perfect.

[cheryl reeves]

i agree who wants a robot for a mate.how would men like it if they were rplaced

[Lorileah]

sounds like a typical 50's wife to me... and that is ok with me too...

hugs niki

Maybe you better go and see what "typical" women looked like and did in the 50's. Donna Reed and June Cleaver weren't real.

But a fantasy is a fantasy. If that's what you like, no reason you can't play that out in your mind. I read the OP more as wanting that perfect look. We all aspire to that I think. But the OP's desire to be a "Stepford wife" isn't any different than wanting to look like a top model or fly a rocket ship.

But remember, a fantasy is rarely (if ever) like you imagined it would be. I have been offered a "Stepford" existence more than once. Every time the person (a guy usually) couldn't meet the criteria (he couldn't afford me in that role...it takes money to keep a person). Yes I thought it sounded like heaven when I first started out...but trust me, not having any control over anything doesn't fly with most people. Sort of like being a prisoner.

Maybe more likely would to be a suburban stay at home house wife with an SUV, three kids who need to be Chauffeured, Shopping for groceries, cleaning house, making meals, balancing budgets...AND looking like the perfect woman when hubby gets home.

[Barbara Jo]

Yes, Happy Days" were not that happy in reality.
In fact, the '60s were in reaction to the strict social standards imposed in the '50s as many people had quite enough of them.

[Alice Torn]

Stepford wives soccer moms!

[Beverley Sims]

I am a little too outgoing for that, I like to keep control of my life.

I only lose it when AMTRAK or one of the airlines force a decision. :)

[ReineD]

I been thinking that it would be really fun to be a stepford wife for a girl.

Have you seen the movie? It's the worst possible fate for a woman. They killed them and replaced them with life-like robots so they could have obedient, mindless wives who would just sit pretty, be respectful, cook, clean house, and have sex. Personally if I were a male I'd be bored to tears with a partner like that.

The movie was quite brilliant, though. Have a look at a short piece written about it:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/24/american-dreams-the-stepford-wives-by-ira-levin.html

It's true the actresses in the movie were attractive, and they did wear clothing that a lot of CDers enjoy. I understand if you just want to emulate their looks. But, you wouldn't want to turn into one. Stepford wives can't feel, they're robots. What's the point of CDing if you can't feel it.

[Dianne S]

@NicoleScott, the point of the Stepford Wives wasn't about "looking perfect". It was about a bunch of guys replacing real live thinking and feeling women with mindless slavish automatons. I get that our fantasies can be unusual and may not be nearly as nice in reality as they are in our imagination, but I still find it quite disturbing that someone would fantasize about being replaced by a machine that has no will of its own.

Ira Levin was brilliantly shining a light on sexism and misogyny. It wasn't about looks and clothes.

[bimini1]

I see this as like the ultimate male chauvinist fantasy. To put a woman in her "place" so to speak. From the kitchen to the bedroom. Now, I'm not one of these folks who wants to totally destroy gender roles either. I believe there are male and female roles in society. They are there for certain reasons and I believe society works better because they exist. If they were not, I don't personally see any reason to CD.

I just want to play around on the other side. It's the rigidity of The Stepford model that I can't get to. If I were really female I'd definitely be challenging these roles. Like a woman making it in a man's world.

[NicoleScott]

Dianne S, looking perfect was not the main point of the movie, but certainly an important aspect. I think that the point of the OP is the fantasy, and less about the movie itself. The movie wouldn't have worked as well if the women had not been perfect looking. Let's remember: it's just a movie, and it's just a fantasy.

[sometimes_miss]

I think those that think the 1950s was idyllic are projecting what they want their female partners to be to their male selves. Put yourself (truly) in that position and you may have a different idea. No finances that are your own, few rights, lots of responsibilities, no autonomy, no freedom, no ability to escape if things get nasty.
However, there were plenty of women quite happy to 'submit' to what I refer to as a 'benevolent dictator'; essentially, a good provider who made decisions that would ensure that his 'subjects' were happy. A huge percentage of the population are quite comfortable with the idea of having someone else make the decisions for them as long as all their needs are all fulfilled. Women especially. Sure, they occasionally will want something they don't have, but for the most part they are quite content with their lives as they are; male going off to work every day, bringing home enough money for them to live comfortably, raise children, have a nice social life. I had three aunts who were essentially housewife/homemakers who stopped working after they got married, who had married successful businessmen and were quite happy with their 'subordinate' lives until their husbands died many decades later. Not all men treated their wives badly, and in my family at least, the women had just as much input into major decisions whenever they wanted to; they just preferred to let their husbands take the responsibility for most of them. Especially in the seventies, with increased standards of living pushing wives back into the workplace due to financial demands, there were lots of women who longed for the days when they did not HAVE TO work outside the home.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

But they were robots and had no feelings- it was their husbands who had all the fun. Or aren't you talking about the movie?

Sorry, we're a bit slow over here in Yerp.

[Mink]

didn't the horrible remake have the twist that it was in fact the main woman (glinda clothes!)'s husband Christopher Walking (here!) was the robot and SHE the mastermind?

which adds quite the twist!

a woman behind it all!

[Dianne S]

a woman behind it all!

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but that completely ruins the message of the original and reinforces sexist stereotypes of evil powerful women that pervade science fiction and fantasy.

(I guess I'm becoming a strident feminist now that I'm transitioning and switching teams. :) )

[LilSissyStevie]

I've never had the Stepford Wife fantasy but I have had fantasies about dollification or bimbofication and also fantasies about being the stereotypical limp wristed, lisping, mincing fairy. These feed my emasculation fetish and have exactly nothing to do with what I think about women or gays.

BTW, I grew up in the 50's and my mother was the breadwinner in our family. She only wore skirts to work and never otherwise. When pant suits were allowed in the 60's she never wore a dress or skirt again. The 50's was never like the Hollywood version.

[Danitgirl1]

However, there were plenty of women quite happy to 'submit' to what I refer to as a 'benevolent dictator'; essentially, a good provider who made decisions that would ensure that his 'subjects' were happy. A huge percentage of the population are quite comfortable with the idea of having someone else make the decisions for them as long as all their needs are all fulfilled. Women especially. Sure, they occasionally will want something they don't have, but for the most part they are quite content with their lives as they are; male going off to work every day, bringing home enough money for them to live comfortably, raise children, have a nice social life. I had three aunts who were essentially housewife/homemakers who stopped working after they got married, who had married successful businessmen and were quite happy with their 'subordinate' lives until their husbands died many decades later. Not all men treated their wives badly, and in my family at least, the women had just as much input into major decisions whenever they wanted to; they just preferred to let their husbands take the responsibility for most of them. Especially in the seventies, with increased standards of living pushing wives back into the workplace due to financial demands, there were lots of women who longed for the days when they did not HAVE TO work outside the home.

I think many women were forced into a pre-determined lifestyle by societal norms. Many women had no concept of an alternative reality, many women had no choice.
Just because it was the norm doesn't make it right, just because you cannot conceive an alternative does not mean that that is what you would choose.
Furthermore it is possible (and surprisingly common) to have a false consciousness, whether in class or gender politics. Just because you think your interests are being best served does not necessarily mean that they are being best served.

A woman who has no independent income, no matter how small, has no alternatives. A fact exploited by men for centuries. There may indeed have been good men, but the system was (is?) evil.

Can you imagine living in a culture where women are obliged to lie down in front of men, simply because they are men? Where the leader of the second biggest political party in the country and a oremier of the second most important province (similar to a governor in the USA) has to cook for men in a village before she is allowed to discuss issues with them, just because she is a woman? Think of what that does for societal relations... This is a reality in contemporary South Africa. Stepford Wives may just be a movie, but the rampant sexism and evil it exposed is not far away.

[Nadine Spirit]

However, there were plenty of women quite happy to 'submit' to what I refer to as a 'benevolent dictator'; essentially, a good provider who made decisions that would ensure that his 'subjects' were happy. A huge percentage of the population are quite comfortable with the idea of having someone else make the decisions for them as long as all their needs are all fulfilled.

I am curious, where do you get these statistic from? How exactly do you know that about "a huge percentage of the population?"



Especially in the seventies, with increased standards of living pushing wives back into the workplace due to financial demands, there were lots of women who longed for the days when they did not HAVE TO work outside the home.

No one "has" to have an increased standard of living, that is a personal want. I am sure that plenty of people choose to raise a family and are just as happy than if they made money. So do those that choose to go to work, HAVE TO? Doubt it. It is a choice. Not always, but I would venture that more often than not, it is a choice. My dad asked my mom to not work and she told him to screw off, that she WANTED to.

To the OP - nope I do not have fantasies about such things. And I don't think the concept is outdated, I think it is a portrayal of a fictionalized character and was never "in" dated. I think even the stereotypical 50's lady is just that as well, a fictionalized character, not real people.

[Barbara Jo]

didn't the horrible remake have the twist that it was in fact the main woman (glinda clothes!)'s husband Christopher Walking (here!) was the robot and SHE the mastermind?

which adds quite the twist!

a woman behind it all!

Yes, it was something like that.
The inclusion of Walken was about the only saving grace of the remake. ;)

[ReineD]

However, there were plenty of women quite happy to 'submit' to what I refer to as a 'benevolent dictator'; essentially, a good provider who made decisions that would ensure that his 'subjects' were happy. A huge percentage of the population are quite comfortable with the idea of having someone else make the decisions for them as long as all their needs are all fulfilled. Women especially.

This may be true for you, but it's not true for us. Why do you think the feminist movements arose and took hold after the 1950s? Had we been happy with the status quo, we would have stayed there. It's a different world now, sometimes_miss.

<edit>

To S_miss & Nadine, if we're getting into economics, families need dual incomes now because they can't keep up with the cost of living, not because they want more.

According to this article (I looked at the references and they seem reasonable), here is the price of necessities as a ratio to income:

1950s: House 2.2, Car .45, Education .18, Total 2.83
Today: House 3.7, Car .61, Education .79, Total 5.1

When it would have taken 2.8 years' worth of income during the 1950s to pay for only housing, car, and education, it now takes 5.1 years, almost double! And that's not measuring food, which feels like it has almost doubled in the last several years, with no corresponding increase in income. Add to this health care costs. Our dollar buys a lot less now than it did.


http://www.mybudget360.com/cost-of-living-2014-inflation-1950-vs-2014-data-housing-cars-college/