Detransitioning

[Beth-Lock]

The dangers of detransitioning are likely, like so many aspects of the transsexual phenomena, await the definitive exploration by surveys and other forms of research, like case studies. It might be interesting to take an informal poll somewhere. Like, here, "How many of you have actually detransitioned?"

[Aprilrain]

After 5 years, a divorce, a huge life adjustment for everyone involved and thousands of dollars on multiple surgeries, I'm pretty sure they would then think I was insane if I said I was going to detransition.

I understand why your asking the question, Beth, but you haven't told us how you think your people would react. I'm guessing you think they'd be relieved or something like that?

On another note, I don't really see what the point of detransition would be? If I wasn't happy the first time around and now I'm not happy as a woman maybe my problem had nothing to do with what sex I am.

[Dianne S]

I wouldn't do that; there are some jokes that are just too cruel.

[I Am Paula]

First- Those who have detransitioned, the first thing they would do is drop off this forum.
Second- That's a really sick sense of humor. We are trying for acceptance, not more head scratching. Put a phony dog turd on your neighbors step instead.

[Krisi]

I remember seeing a documentary on TV about two people who transitioned from male to female and then back again. It was a few years ago on public television (in the USA). It wasn't a joke.

[Zaack]

I remember seeing a news article this year about someone who detransitioned in the late 60's. My first counsellor also told me about someone who was a crossdresser but completely lost the 'want' after their parents died.

That is why we go to see pshychiatrists in the first place - to confirm whether it is GID/GD or something else entirely.

[Shelly Preston]

De transitiong seems to me like your admitting you made a big mistake.

Yes mistakes do happen and this would seem to be unusually cruel given how much of a struggle it is to begin with.

Also does it mean someone lied to the docs to get the green light to transition originally ?

It may be a lot of things but its not the subject for a prank

[Rianna Humble]

There have been one or two high profile cases where someone who was transsexual has become so depressed by the lack of acceptance from their nearest & dearest that they thought their only way out was to de-transition, but it doesn't often work out well. Christine Daniels is a tragic example of that.

There are other cases (anyone say Charles Kane) where someone buys their way past the checks and balances, transitions, does not instantly become Miss Universe and de-transitions then goes on to spend the rest of their life decrying the system that they bypassed.

As for the question about announcing it as a prank, my mind boggles at the idea that someone would seriously consider such a step.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, please. No cruel jokes. Maybe some of you have seen this site (http://www.sexchangeregret.com/). I translate it as, here's proof to support my indecisive confusion. There's a whole lot of particular stories to support a general thesis. Severely violating the first rule of logic. TS folks and all folks deserve way more respect than ignorant generalization!

[Sammy777]

Would I or could I ever Detransition? Never!
However.......... it some form of monetary compensation was involved where the amount had oh 8 zeros in it past the decimal point I would take the money and run. Literally, I would run away, with the money, and do it anyways, LOL. Sue me, that is if you can ever find me! :D

As far as using detransitioning as an April fools joke. Maybe, but not to everyone I know**

**Mind you however that many of my friends and some family members share my same, well, unique brand of humor and wouldn't get bent over the joke. Some even wishing they thought of doing something similar but didn't think of it like I'm gay, or I'm really straight, lol.

I do also agree that using the guise of "April fools" to see how family/friends would react could/would be a huge eye opener and flush out the "I totally accept you - but I really think its weird and want "him" back" people. Albeit in a somewhat cruel and emotional way.

But it goes back to the saying: Don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.
How would you feel about or react to someone who thinking it was real and said something like "Im so glad you wised up, or it will be good to have "him" back" Because that would just be really weird knowing someone you thought backed you, never really did. :(

With that being said, I would possibly do it, but only to the few select people who would appreciate it as the joke it was.

[Persephone]

I think that both transitioning and detransitioning are no laughing matter. Truly detransitioning must always be a very difficult and very emotional thing, one that, like in Mike Penner's (Christine Daniels) case, can have very dramatic, even suicidal, results. (Given the circumstances I feel it is more appropriate to refer to Mike rather than Christine).

I have long been very saddened by Mike's story. I've never heard Beth-Lock's twist on it, that SRS could have prevented it, and, frankly, I find that very difficult to believe.

Mike had taken the incredibly difficult step of transitioning and was applauded by his colleagues for doing so. He was writing his story, "Woman in Progress," in the Los Angeles Times, the major newspaper where he worked.

But it would seem that he came to the painful decision that he had made a dreadful mistake, that transition really wasn't what he wanted.

Only how do you go back? He couldn't, and on November 27, 2009, at the age of 52, he took his own life.

Some might say that his transition was extraordinarily public and that that was part of the problem. I believe that every transition is public. that regardless of whether you come out to a small group of family and friends or millions of people as Mike did, what matters are the ones closest to you, they are your public.

We should always make sure that we preserve the right to detransition for those who find themselves in that situation. This is particularly true as the professional communities of psychology and medicine diagnose younger and younger transgendered individuals.

As a community we must be as supportive of those who go back as we are of those who go forward. In reality they are the same journey.

It is no laughing matter.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Rianna Humble]

I've never heard Beth-Lock's twist on it, that SRS could have prevented it, and, frankly, I find that very difficult to believe.

Doctor Marcia Bowers obviously believed it as that is who Beth-Lock was quoting. Dr Bowers should know, she had scheduled the surgery then was forced to postpone it. Christine Daniels committed suicide during the postponement.

[Sammy777]

Anyway, you need not worry about my actual situation or mood, state of mind, etc., or try to analysis guess what led to this post, because you would never in years, guess the real story and I would never tell it in full either. But I hope I have fed your imagination some interesting and extraordinary material to entertain you in idle moments. I wish you consoling fantasies and dreams and/or possibly interesting, vivid nightmares which you can savour for their drama. Is it enough inspiration for some short story writing?

Sorry, but you sort of lost me here????

[Michelle789]

(Given the circumstances I feel it is more appropriate to refer to Mike rather than Christine).


I go to her former church, and I know people who knew her personally. I never knew her personally, I only started going to MCC last year. Cody knew her personally, and so did a very good friend of mine who goes there (she was very close with Christine), as did many others at MCC. I always refer to her as Christine Daniels and by female pronouns, as does everyone else at church that knew her. Most people at church would consider it disrespectful to refer to her as Mike.

Her de-transition and suicide were a very devastating and tragic thing to have happened. This is definitely no topic to be making an April fools joke about.

Here is an article about Christine's tragedy. There were likely more things going on than what was reported in this article.

http://www.laweekly.com/news/mike-penner-christine-daniels-a-tragic-love-story-2166467

As for someone making a mistake, why would anyone go through the process of coming out, losing friends/family/job, take feminizing hormones, get electrolysis, surgeries, risk screwing up their bodies, spend a fortune, get publicly mocked and stared at, and subject themselves to discrimination, for years and then decide that they are not trans. Transition isn't something that you do just for a thrill ride or because it's cool....this is hard reality. Why would someone who doesn't have cancer subject themselves to months or years of chemo therapy, risk losing their hair and other side effects of chemo?

Usually people who aren't trans will be weeded out by therapists before going on hormones, and those who do make it to the hormones phase will feel like crap once they start hormones. Often they will freak out without their testosterone within a matter of days or weeks, and realize that transition isn't for them.

I personally believe most people who do de-transition are saddened by the loss in their lives and the discrimination they face, and feel that if they detransition that they will get their old life back. The only problem with that is once you lose something, you never get it back. And then you learn the hard way that you made a mistake de-transitioning, and this results in tragedy.

This is nothing to be joked about.

[karenpayneoregon]

Hopefully if one makes the decision to reverse the process they are not too far along and have a professional to assist them which begs the question if they have gone that far that there is no real viable return and had professional assistance in the first place dis the professionals miss something and I am not blaming this on anyone just food for thought.

There was a mention of two people moving forward then reversing their decision, think I may have seen that but only remember one on an afternoon day time show. She (was male) was so happy and beautiful prior to surgery then afterwards indicated it was a huge mistake and felt for her.

[JohnH]

I think it should be made known to any genetic male who is contemplating M2F HRT that if the treatment feels wrong DISCONTINUE THE TREATMENT. And I also think one's gender status should be thought as a continuum instead of the gender-binary.

My personal situation is that I have been on M2F HRT since Sept. 2011. I have developed a feminine figure with D cup breasts along with the softer skin. I have hair beyond shoulder length and I wear lipstick and eye makeup along with androgynous clothing for church and business. My dear wife tolerates the aspects of me described above and loves me. I still retain my deep masculine voice and go with my masculine name "John" and I have no intentions at present of taking on a feminine identity.

Am I going to quit the M2F HRT? Absolutely not. That is one of the very best things I have done with my life. Even my wife has told me the therapy was the best thing I have done.

I am not ruling out in the future I might want to transition socially to female, or even to have SRS. I might be in a slow motion transition - one factor that slows me down is I have to be considerate of my wife. But bless her soul, she loves me the way I am. But to go back to being testosterone dominant - perish the thought!

John

[Dutchess]

Just saying here but I personally know 3 who have de transitioned this year . 2 in the US one in Britain. 2 --one US one Britain did have GRS one did not and he is a mess trying to come back to reality. Therapists today do NOT weed everyone out .. Everyone knows the keywords at this point . These were al three really sleek androgynous males who are now all 51 or 52 . One stayed a doctor .One went back to his bass playing position with an English metal band but my closest friend that had no GRS looks odd, like the hormones melted his face which was once beautiful , can't get a job or has been turned down so many times he is afraid and lives with his mom who verbally abuses him on an epic scale ( I can hear her on the phone when he calls me ) . I am going to have to pull out of the friendship due to this. I've tried EVERYTHING to try to help him out of his moms and into a job and it's just too much .

[Michelle789]

The bottom surgeries for transmen are really horrible options. Aside from being more expensive than the MTF SRS, the two options that I am aware of are both horrible options.

1. A penis that allows you to urinate, but you can't get erections. Ask any man, cis or trans - this is torture for any male identified person. Cody, who does not plan on getting the surgery, would rather be able to use his female parts for sex and masturbation, but at least it works and brings him some pleasure, even though it isn't ideal.

2. A penis that allows you to get an erection, but you can't urinate normally. We all have to urinate several times a day, and it would be torture for any man or woman to not be able to urinate normally.

3. Live with a vagina, be able to pee, have sex, and orgasm, but feel inadequate as man.

Even worse, both FTM bottom surgeries fail rather quickly. From what I have heard, they can fail as soon as 2 years, and the best cases last 10 years. You would have to be pretty desperate if you are willing to have to replace your genitals every few years. Computers probably last longer.

I honestly feel really bad for transmen, given that their options for bottom surgery are horrible.

There are plenty of reasons a transition may fail for both MTF and FTM. For many the loss of family, friends, S.O., and job, can be just too much to bear. There are medical, legal, social, and emotional reasons things can go awry during transition. It's really sad :(