Are you happy as a home body?

[Rachael Leigh]

Today as I sit dressed all the way makeup and all I began to think. Oh I know that can be dangerous, but I digress. For those who pass, or somewhat pass, or know there is no way they ever could my question can you be happy with your cross-dressing and just being a home body. To do all the work to dress and for for whatever reason personal or the thought of being found out or outed I guess or its just too scary to go out but you really want it so bad, can just dressing for the sake of dressing be enough?
Today being dressed it went through my mind several times why dont I just go drive thru for lunch or go do some shopping and yet I finally decided na Im good, but I know for the most part I can pass but even I know I will be seen as a guy pretty quickly and even though that doesnt really bother me its still a thought I think about, wondering what will they think when seeing me and knowing Im a guy?
Does this keep you, my fellow CDers in the house more often than not? I read Heidi's thread about her great time yesterday and thought, see its not so bad this is just who we are and why does this have to be so hard for people or is it just and unfounded fear.
Hugs Leigh

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Yes, after years of dressing up but having nowhere to go I'm getting the urge to get out some. Nothing local, but some city a few hours distance for a day or maybe more.....

[Alice Torn]

Leigh, Yes and no. Part of me would really like to go out in public again, but i have fears. My vehicle is old, and different than most, and in a small town area, where rednecks, and everyone would soon know about me, and i have fear yet of being ridiculed, snickered at, called bad names by men, teens, etc, and if my brother found out, he would make my life hell. It is safe in the closet, mostly, and taking photos and videos, and sharing them on here, and Flicker and Youtube, is a bit less scary. My cats are always safe company for me, too.

[JamieG]

For many years I was afraid to leave the house en femme. Then I slowly started to come out of my shell. I started by going to TG support group meetings and changing on premises, then I started going to T-events that required short drives en femme, then I was going out at night with a few friends to ordinary venues, to eventually taking a walk around Boston alone and in broad daylight. Now, I don't really think twice about going out en femme, as long as I am far enough away from friends and neighbors who might recognize me. It is a lot more fun to get dressed up and then go out and live your life.

Although I am sometimes told (by other crossdressers) that I am passable, I doubt I pass in person at least not for long. That said, I've yet to have negative experience, even when I am certain that I've been read.

[Dana44]

Over the years, I never went out. Today in the environment with my SO, we make it an adventure to go out and do dinner and a movie. We have a couple nice restaurants and found that people accept you where ever you go. I think I sometimes pass, yet other times I know I don't. However, I would stay out of bars in femme. LOL

[2B Natasha]

Actually Leigh.

I never get dressed up unless I'm leaving the house. I don't see the point in it. I use too. But then I went out. Discovered that the world didn't swallow me up so I just go out. At home it's just me in whatever clothes I happen to have on. Be they girlie pjs or my jeans I wear to work. But the whole wig makeup. Etc etc. not any more.

[Tracii G]

Seems kind of a waste not to go out and enjoy life.

[Crissy Kay]

To tell you all the truth, I am still very happy to be a stay at home dresser. Also I am happy to have a home to dress in!!!

[Janet161]

I agree with most of the nice posts. I need to go out. Staying in-and alone-just isn't good enough.

Janet

[Meghan4now]

Leigh

I've been house bound most of experience, but really want to get out. I'm getting a chance now, so let's see how that goes. I am predicting that when I break the chain, it will be hard to keep this dog in the yard all day.

[Jaymees22]

Hi Leigh, I'm pretty happy to be at home but on rare occasions I do get the urge to go out and then I do. If just for a ride that seems to be enough. Sometimes a walk in a park. I always went to my therapist dressed and that was in an office building with others around and I never had a problem. I also went to a support group, but I dressed there. Just do what feels right for you but always be careful and cautious. Hugs Jaymee

[Kate Simmons]

I used to fuss about it but then got tired of that. I finally joined a TG Org. and that got me started. Then I started going to a local LGBT resort where I was accepted. Started making friends and having fun dancing en femme. It can be done if you really want to do it.:)

[AngelaYVR]

Whenever I think I'll get dressed up and have a day at home, I always end up going out. It's just such a draw that I can't resist.

[Cheryl T]

I thought I was until about 10 years ago when it just became too much. I needed to go out and experience the world as a woman and I did.
Now that the Genie is out of the bottle the stopper doesn't fit the bottle anymore.

[Adriana Moretti]

Yes...get out a bit....enjoy life....you live it once....the first 10 feet is the hardest part but once you get past that you will be fine....make it a goal , on this forum there is a large closet community ....once you actually get out you will see its not such a big deal.....good luck

[Terri Andrews]

If I am dressed I am going out

[Adriana Moretti]

BTW....would I be weird saying I actually cant WAIT to just have a nice relaxing night home alone dressed?? I have been so busy, and I have been burning such a hole in my pocketbook I cant wait for a nice quiet night to relax with a glass of wine & my old jazz records....that will have to wait till May though.. xoxo

[Rachael Leigh]

Just so Im clear, I have gone out a few times and like many here have said it's great once you get past the fear. I guess Im asking once you have made it past the door and your out there can staying at home be enough for you.
I do feel the need to go out once Im fully dressed but since I will never be 24/7 do you need that time out an about to be happy with yourself or is it a must to go out.
I loved the times I've been out.

[charlenesomeone]

Just got back from a drive. Got the double take twice. Smiled back and kept on about my business.
The one at Sally Beauty was a longer stare and closer, but no problem.
If you want to be out, do so, I do both in and out, as I do dressed either way.
Be yourself and if it means you enjoy yourself at home, smile and enjoy. If you enjoy doing life, do that.
But always smile.
Hugs

[kimdl93]

I would get bored if I had to spend my time confined to home. I'm a social animal...and need interaction with others.

[Amber_Lynn86]

As much as I love going out as amber, sometimes a nice quiet night at home with my 2 gg friends that love amber and a nice bottle of wine is wonderful.

[Sallee]

I get real bored if I don't get out. I certainly enjoy dressing and hanging around the house doing way to many pics and trying on way to many outfits but after a while its tim eto hit the streets. I think I pass most of the time although I know I have been read probably more than I know but in reality no one really cares. That first step out of the car into a gay or trans bar can be terrifying but after a few minutes in the establishment you will see no one is really paying attention.
Advice: get out have fun and enjoy life

[justmetoo]

I'm an introvert and my home is my sanctuary. I do go out once in a while, but I can be just as happy staying in, too. A lot depends on whether I have someplace to go or someone to go with, and whether I have the mental/social energy to go out, or if I just feel like staying in and relaxing/recharging. If I'm not going out though I'm less likely to put on makeup and all, unless I want to try some new technique or new makeup or new outfits, and then I will usually take pics. Works for me. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Leigh, That's pretty much how I feel too.:hugs:

[Beverley Sims]

Nothing wrong with being a homebody, go out only when you feel comfortable.

Forget opportunities lost, you can catch up with them later.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Home was my sanctuary while losing the weight I had gained over 3 years when I stopped dressing. As soon as I felt better about myself it was all systems go (out).

I much prefer the company of others and enjoy the interaction. I'll never pass and don't particularly try to blend but find the public accepting and engaging. It did take a little while to gain sufficient confidence to speak with a male voice but it is empowering. Interestingly, I have many examples of where being different and easily recognised really has its advantages.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Leigh,
I had been content dressing at home for quite a while. then came an urge to step out. One quick footstep out the door, and twice as quickly back inside.
That was all a long time ago, and after a long hiatus, the comfort of home was where it all started again. But once again, that desire to step out came along.
I put it off for a while, and eventually started driving to town and taking some late night walks. Heels really require a sidewalk, the closest one to my home is
nearly 15 miles, and thats still to close to home, so i go another 15-20 miles.
Joining this forum, and finding some local friends, made my desire to get out even stronger. Meeting with these friends, and having such a wonderful time out
and about with them, really made home dressing seem to be less than appealing to me.
After some thought, and my recent post of faded desire and balance, this is more than likely the cause of it. I found being out in public to be more enticing than being home alone. The problem is, those nights out are few, and far between. Frustrating to say the least, I get focused on anything other than dressing.
Although I still think about it all the time, I don't have thoughts of dressing at home. Thats where my concern of lack of balance comes into play.
Wait for a night out, or dress at home to quench that ever building urge........Field tests have been conducted, results will be posted.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Lily Catherine]

While I intend to go out, I'm satisfied with CDing at home, where blending in is not top priority - conducive to pulling as many stops as I want. But factor in blending, and I'd be stranded over- or underdressed. Especially the latter when I currently am in looove with my mini dresses. Hard to bag the cat once it's out though!

[Kirsty Louise]

I like to CD at home and try different outfits on, going out may be a special occasion, also finding the right locations, and for me building up the courage.

[Jeri Ann]

Leigh,

For the most part I have to accept staying in seclusion when dressed but I am not OK with it. I just want to be a normal girl and do normal things. For the last few months I have been able to leave the house several times a week. In a previous post I stated that I often travel pretty when going to see my mom who has been in either a hospital or a skilled nursing facility two hours away. However, I leave early in the morning, while it's still dark. I do stop along the way to shop at Wal Mart, get gas, coffee, etc. Then I change somewhere when I get there. I'm pretty sure that I don't always pass. Occasionally I get a second glance. When I am encountering someone face to face and there seems to be a little scrutiny going on, I seem to be able to disarm them with a warm and heartfelt smile. I like doing that. I have never had a bad experience being dressed while out. I do not want to show off or attract attention in any way. I just want to be normal.

Jeri

[Traceyjo]

I enjoy dressing at home immensely and if I could never go out , I would still be a happy girl. Still, I always feel the urge to go further, to be outside and be seen by others so I do take the opportunity to do so when it arises. I live in a small town and am very well known due to my profession so discretion is essential. I usually go out at night , walking down to the beach or around the streets. I've even walked through the main shopping area at times and I like it most when there are some people around. I just make sure I keep enough distance from them so I won't be outed. Sometimes I walked in the early morning day light as well. So far I've not had any problems but I realise there is always a risk and being recogniised would be disastrous but the thrill of being put and about is too much to resist.

[sometimes_miss]

There's great comfort in being able to accept who we are; I came to that conclusion long ago. After the desire to crossdress came back after five years of marriage, I started to read more about it, and learn as much as I could about all the psychological mechanisms involved. It was then that I discovered that pretty much no one had ever beaten it; that it would never really go away. Knowing also how much difficulty that gays have had to deal with from all the homophobes in the world, I decided to avoid those troubles as much as possible. LIfe is hard enough without going out of our way looking for ways to make our life harder, intentionally. And so I came to the conclusion that I would stay closeted; at least, stay indoors when wearing any female attire. It's not really much of an inconvenience; no more so, say, than putting on a winter hat, coat, and boots and gloves if I should have to go out into a snowstorm or squal. It only takes a moment or two to change back once the chore is complete. And that's how I look at it; just a momentary inconvenience, to avoid all the potential problems of becoming 'the neighborhood pervert'. By staying 'in the closet' I: keep all my current friends and neighbors relationships intact; avoid any problems at work resulting from rumors; keep my nice comfy home by not upsetting the landlord. It's really a no-brainer. I sometimes wonder if people really think that their lives should be one happy event after another. Life doesn't work that way. The most that normal people can hope for is to be content with what we have, put up with the drudgery of life's necessary chores, and enjoy the brief experiences of joy when they come along (and remember those moments when the difficult times arrive). In short, I'm content with my life. Sure, many things could be better; but if they were like that all the time, that would become normal for me, and the experiences would no longer feel as 'happy' when they did occur. So right now, I'll just enjoy life as it is. My plan right now is to make lasagna. Which will provide me delicious evening meals for about a week.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in my sixties and a retiree. I get six to seven hours to be en femme Monday through Friday when my wife is at her job. So, I do have an opportunity to be en femme more than a lot of others. Do I sit around and play with makeup all day? Or change dresses before the full length mirror? No! I'm rather domesticated. My working wife should not be doing household chores when she gets home from work. After dropping her off at work Stephanie comes out to stretch her legs. I am a fifties or sixties girl. That means a pretty dress, slip, hosiery, heels, proper undergarments and my grey curly shoulder length wig is donned and I get to the chores. It's changing bed linens, washing and ironing, vacuuming, washing dishes, baking and meal preparation. I love to take a break and read the morning newspaper while I eat breakfast or lunch inside or in the backyard.

I have gone out en femme. When our daughter lived in the mid west my wife would go to see her for seven to ten days every October. It was great. I could hang my dresses in the closet and lay out my undergarments in my dresser drawers. In the early evenings I got dolled up and drove to the other end of my small city and strolled during the early evening along the sidewalks. I even liked it more if it was rainy, which meant less people to encounter. I loved the cool breeze caressing my legs and playing with the skirt of my dress and slip. I ditched the higher heels and went to a flat one inch shoe for more comfort. In the beginning the strolls felt great, but, alas, there was really no destination. I tired of the outings. I am content to be an "in-home" dresser.

I do not pass at 190 pounds and six foot even. Would I like to meet ladies? Perhaps. I am so comfortable wearing female attire, I often wonder if I were to join a group, would there be more to it than just sitting around in a dress? So, right now I am content to be at home. What I would really like is to have my knowing wife be comfortable with me in feminine attire and give me a loving tap on my butt while I prepare dinner.

JUST NOTICED THIS WAS MY 5,000 th POST, HEY!

[JocelynJames]

Hi Leigh,
I swear I want to go out, but my heart races with the thought. Maybe it's the thrill of the idea. I have talked to my wife about it and want us to feel comfortable with it and not stressed. She's supportive and if I never leave the house dressed her support is all I really need.

[CherylFlint]

No matter how good we think we look in the mirror, there’s no substitute for a women’s point of view.
Looking back on my journey as a CD, I’ve made just about every mistake that a CD can make. I finally got to the point where I knew I needed help.
My first step was to find a professional mastectomy bra fitter who would fit a CD. I asked about 10 different stores until I found one that had no problem with fitting me. I agreed to buy forms and one bra and it was well worth it.
I then slowly went to wig stores and the cosmetic counters at the mall.
At first I didn’t know anything about makeup and the tricks but soon learned by asking questions and practicing. Many a night when I thought I was going out (but never made it to the door) because I just wasn’t satisfied with my makeup. It takes a LOT of practice to get good at it. For me, it was about 3 years until I can talk makeup with anyone.
I can talk shades, manufacture, brushes, creams, lashes, perfume and everything else. Here’s a hint: make a drying rack for your brushes and keep them clean, Use plenty of Q-tips and cotton balls. And don’t be afraid to wash it all off and start from scratch if your not satisfied.
Practice makes perfect.
The payoff is when the SA addresses you as “Miss” and means it.
I ended-up getting married to a woman who enjoys dressing me and going to the mall. We’ve even been to a few baseball games and one football game as wife and Cheryl. And when we eat-out she does the ordering.
Never had so much fun in my life.
Cheryl

[CherylFlint]

A Dear Jocelyn James,
I read your post to my wife.
My wife is totally in charge of how Cheryl looks becasue, as she says, "I'd rather look at a nice looking woman that look at a man in a dress".
Stay out of bars, unless it's a TG club.
My wife takes Cheryl everywhere and has a lot of fun dressing me.
However, there's a lot of compromising. I like sheer blouses, she doesn't. I like short skirts, she dresses me in knee-length. But after close to 20 years as man and wife, I just listen to her and dress whatever she wants me to wear. It turns-out that she's right 100% of the time what it takes to make me "pass" so how can you argue with success?
As I told my wife when we first met, "One of us has to be in charge and that's you".
And that's worked very well for us.
My wife says there's A LOT of women out there who would want what she has, to dress her man. It works for me, too.
Looks like you're as lucky as I am.
Cheryl

[grace7777]

When I am at home I wear a night gown or a night shirt. So if I get fully dressed then I am going out. If I am not going to work and am headed out then I almost always now dress en femme. For work I am in male mode, even though now I wear female slacks and female shoes, but the shoes are not overly feminine looking. Someday I would like to get to the point where I am presenting as a woman 24/7 or a high percentage of the time when outside of my apartment.

[Suzann3]

LeighR being happy or not about whether just being stuck indoors dressed up has a different answer for us all. I am perfectly happy with being dressed up indoors. I never have the desire to go outside to see if I am accepted, nor have the desire to be accepted en femme. I do it for myself. My way of relaxing is to dress up, makes me feel great. So my answer is a definite yes, you can be happy as a home body.

Suzanne x

[Stephanie Morgan]

I have to agree with Kristyn.....heels need a sidewalk. While I am very much a stay at home crossdresser, I have to admit the urge to get out and about grows stronger all the time. Can't get out locally as I am most certainly not out to very many people (only the wife and a handful of very close friends). My wife and I have talked about this on several occassions and have come to the conclusion that when I'm ready, we can go to Atlanta (about 2 hours away) and have dinner, maybe a movie or a show or just whatever we decide. So to answer the original question....I would have to say no, not really happy staying home all the time when I'm dressed.

[wanda66]

I would love to go out with the wife shopping as wanda,it would be heaven. But she would never accepted me as wanda . Those of you who have supporting SO are so very lucky, i do wear a nite gown (shirt) to bed .i dont get dressed untill the last minute durning the week .on the week end later in the morning. I guess iam comtent to be a house girl,with a small need to see the out side world.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

When I was younger I would not have been happy staying at home. In fact I went out on my first night en femme, and made it an almost weekly practice. Now though I don't feel it is that important. Before I was looking for reaction and a little validation. Now dressing is something done for personal satisfaction. One thing you will learn with time is that we humans are always evolving and changing. Don't let a little thing like being read keep you from enjoying all life has to offer.

[grumpus]

No, I've never been happy as a "homebody." I am a masculine cross dresser with no chance of passing, but I like to go out sometimes anyway. A bit of shopping wearing a coat that barely hides things, a brief stroll through a parking lot or perhaps a longer walk in the woods is all I can manage. Though it rarely satisfies my urge to be seen, it must be enough.

[Sarah Doepner]

I like getting out of the house, but the problem I have is getting out of the driveway. My house was built on property we bought from my in-laws and they live at the end of that driveway. Since I'm not out to them, or my daughter who lives within walking distance and stops by on a regular basis, I tend to stay behind locked doors a lot when I'm dressed. I'm working on solutions to this problem and when it happens I think Sarah will be spending a lot more time, day and night, in the public arena. Until that happens, I'll bide my time, work on my makeup and presentation and enjoy myself whether I'm at home or out after I've managed an escape.

By the way, my newspaper horoscope today reads: "you might sense that much is going on behind closed doors. Consider breaking past a barrier." So, am I behind the closed door or is the world behind the closed door? hmmmmm.

[Krisi]

Yep, I've been out a few times but I have to underdress and then finish in the car in a parking lot away from home and change back before I return home. I don't want my neighbors to know about my "hobby" and my wife is concerned about it as well.

So, it becomes difficult enough that I have passed up the last few opportunities I've had to do it. If I could just get all dolled up and walk out to the car and back in afterward, it would be different, I would be out a lot.

[Renee]

I dress and stay in about 99% of the time. I do house work, and secretarial work for my wife in her office. This keeps me busy and I dont think about going out in public. My wife does not want me to go out as she is afraid of my being discovered and being outed. While I think I could stand that she wouldnt do so well with it. So I stay at home unless my wife is out of town and I have a cd friend to go and dress with in their home or a hotel in another part of the city. Good luck Leigh!

[Marcelle]

Hi Leigh,

Firstly, I think we all need to find our comfort zone and when we do, that is when we can truly relax being who we need. For some it is "clubbing the night away in a short cocktail dress", for others it is "just being out in the world from time to time" and for others it about "being comfortable at home". You have gone out and found the world to be not such a scary place but you also find solace in just being at home . . . it is all good.

From my own POV, I have integrated this part of me into my life such that going out is just going out . . . no different from being in "guy mode" vice "girl mode". I am just me so I feel comfortable. However, there are times when just staying home in comfy yoga pants, a top and wig (no make-up) makes me feel just as good . . . just hanging out and being me.

Hugs

Isha

[Natalie cupcake]

Going out sometimes takes more planning then to dress up and be at home. Its sometimes hard to find the time to dress up and go out when you have to go away from home to go out. When you only have a few hour to be dressed it easier to stay home. Its not as fun sometimes but you still get to dress up.:battingeyelashes: