What did you think when you were younger?

[Alice_2014_B]

What did you think of cross-dressing and cross-dressers whenyou were younger and dressing up?
I'm talking about grade-school ages.
I searched the forum for such a thread/question. (Forgive me if it is already out there.)

I thought I was the only straight boy who would try on high heels, pantyhose, and bras whenever I got the chance AND liked girls at the same time.
I saw cross-dressing as something for strictly entertainment purposes, especially as I was introduced to Monty Python at a young age (poor me, LOL).
:)

[Yoshisaur]

Back then I didn't even know what crossdressing and crossdressers are. All I knew was that I liked wearing women's clothing and it wasn't right for boys to do that for some reason.

[Kate Simmons]

When I was younger I thought it was impossible to be a "woman" but now I know it can definitely be done if we want to do it. ;):)

[kimdl93]

I had no context...all I knew as a preschooler was that I was 'different' in the eyes of my parents and siblings. I took different as synonymous with bad or defective.

[Barbara Dugan]

What did I think when I was a kid...''This is way to dangerous, I feel I am different but I am going to hide it the best I can'' the place where I lived at that time was really bad for a Transgender person of any age, you were usually trow out of your house, beat and harassed on the streets or sometimes even worst than that.
I personally saw this happened to a few people and made scared to be myself.

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm not sure what I thought when I was younger but about middle school I tried to research it.
I remember seeing an article on Rene Richards and wondered if that was what I was.
I never really said anything about this to my parents so I went on trying to understand on my own

[karinels]

As a child, even before i was 5 years old, I had been telling my parents that i wanted to be a girl. I was always trying to sneak into my sisters clothes and wanted long hair, wear dresses, everything that a girl did and was. My parents, being early and mid '70's parents kept insisting I was going through a phase and one day I will forget about these things. Well, at 45, I have lived pretty much my entire life lying to myself and others, I have let people down because I did not want to leave the house as that meant i had to change clothes. There is so much waste in my life all because I have never been happy with who I am. Maybe if they would have listened and sought help, things would have been different, maybe not. I have had good times in my life, and I have friends, 1 especially that I would never want to have lived without the experiences we have gone through together. But I sure wish I had been a girl through it all, rather than an awkward, love stricken, not manly, little confidence, too passive, really unhappy silly example of a human being. I have had moments, I have not had a life.

[Confucius]

Well, I was interested in cross-dressing from a very early age (as long as I can remember). It seemed normal to me. When I played "dress-up" my older brother and friends would tease me mercilessly. I didn't believe I was different. I thought that all boys really wanted to dress-up like girls, but that we were required to keep it secret or face endless harassment. So I decided I had to keep it a secret too. Boys were supposed to pretend to hate girly things, just to support our gender.

Then when I was around 12-13 years old, I read a Dear Abby column where it said that if a male enjoyed dressing as a girl then he has a mental illness. That was the first time I realized I was really different. After that I believed I was an oddity, and my self esteem fell. I felt worthless.

[Tracii G]

Never gave it much thought back then but when I hit my junior year in high school I knew there was something different about me.
My best girl friends down the street thought it would be cool to dress me up and go to the senior prom.
I was all up for it because I loved girls clothes.
I had really long hair so they did my hair in a formal up doo and their Mom drove us to the prom.
Had a blast at the prom BTW.
Most people thought I must have gone to another school because they didn't recognize me.

[karinels]

Never gave it much thought back then but when I hit my junior year in high school I knew there was something different about me.
My best girl friends down the street thought it would be cool to dress me up and go to the senior prom.
I was all up for it because I loved girls clothes.
I had really long hair so they did my hair in a formal up doo and their Mom drove us to the prom.
Had a blast at the prom BTW.
Most people thought I must have gone to another school because they didn't recognize me.

You are a very lucky gurl to have been able to go to prom enfemme, Tracii. I for one am extremely jealous of you for that.

[TerriM]

I was born in 1948. I remember reading about Christine Jorgensen in the paper. She was a WWII US paratrooper who had gotten a sex change. My earliest memory of dressing was trying on my mothers slip. I also remember reading about aversive therapy and worrying that I would be put in a mental hospital. My girlfriend would put makeup on me at my urging. She really didn't know how much I loved it. At 18 I went into the army . When I came home I got married. My feelings were still there and always will be.

[cheryl reeves]

i guess i was kinda lucky being born in 65.when i was born my mom was disappointed that i wasnt a girl,for all she had was girl clothes,so for the first two yrs i wore girl clothes,til my dad said enough and made a boy out of me.growing up i preferred playing with girls then boys,never felt comfortable around other males.by 1978 information was coming forth positivly on transgenderism,i learned alot from reading stories of those who went before. after my dad died when i was 16 i found i had the house too myself alot,my middle sis and younger sis and mom were out doing their own thing,so while they were away i indulged in crossdressing as much as possible,at that time me and my middle sis were the same size in bra and panties and my moms dressess felt wonderful.i knew growing up where i did you learned to be careful.at the age of 22 i told my now so about me,so for 11 yrs it was nities every once in a while,it was at the age of 35 and almost destroying our marriage i came clean,since then we have had our share of adventures.

[Pat]

In grade school we're just kids. At that point I didn't know there was such a thing as cross-dressing. There was just this thing I enjoyed doing on occasion. To me each event was spontaneous and not connected to any previous event. At various times I heard of transvestites but never connected it to me or my pattern of behavior.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Alice, About 68years ago when I was around 4years old all I knew was that it sure was
fun playing with mom's Hi-Heels and the rest is history.:daydreaming:

[Khora]

In my early teens, before I discovered the internet I thought I was the only boy on the planet that wanted to wear girls' clothes. I always thought I was alone and there was no way there were others like me. Once I got onto the internet I discovered how wrong I was. :D

[Alanea]

I was probablly 4 or 5 when i can recall first starting cd ing, i would wrap a blanket around me and pretend it was a dress, I can tell you exactly what I was thinking....I thought I was a girl or should be since i have a vivid memory of asking my mother one day out of the blue, MOM, AM I A BOY OR A GIRL? Her responce was you are a boy! I was about 5or6 at the time!!
Alanea

[irene9999]

I always saw crossdressing as something taboo in society from watching daytime talk shows in the 90s. Somehow, anytime I saw a TS or CD person on tv I would find them appealing and was always intrigued by them. As I grew older and started looking around the internet I saw that there's quite a few of us and here we are!

[KC Samanatha]

Wow, great question. I can recall being 10 or 11 and wanting wear what my sister was wearing and wanting to put on pantyhose. I just thought at the time it was not "normal", but I enjoyed the feeling so much I wouldn't stop. I can remember watching Wonder Woman with Lynda Carter and wanting to be her.

[Dana44]

Alice, oh yeah, In high school in the plays I always wanted to be the woman LOL, Entertainment yep. Still though even though I had feminine thoughts running through my head, I was a male in a male dominated society and found that I had to measure up. I fond that I became very stable in my own thoughts and always beat to my own drum. I became successful in business and engineering. One time I had a girlfriend and bought her lots of lingerie, one time she brought a bunch of them to me and said, why do you do this. I said that I want to see you in them. Well, she replied, "If you like them so much, why don't you wear them?" LOL I said, perhaps I'll try it. LOL it all came flooding back into me at that time. I did and well you all know what happens next.

[TxCassie]

As a child, I never thought anything about it. I played with my sis' clothes and just thought it was fun. Of course, that was before mom caught me, "Don't want to be a sissy boy, do you?" I remember those words, even today. So, I knew my "playing girly" had to be kept to myself, which I did until I was about 11yrs - 12yrs. Then, that horrible, horrible, horrible puberty started to wield it's nasty testosterone and a husky boy started to turn into this stocky, broad shoulders, thick thighed, teenager. So, physically, I was forced to stop because anything I tried on would tear so easily. But then, it was for the best because, at the same time, I began to discover my attraction to the other stocky, broad shoulders, thick thighed boys UGHHHH!
Hold the Presses, Do not pass Go, and you better not Collect $200.00. One of the many fears of a teenage gay boy is the fear that everyone will think he's wants to be a girl, that he is weak emotional, a sissy... NO WAY!. :sad:

So, anything remotely attached me to anything feminine was shunned. I was Mr. Macho, a gentleman on the outside and with the girls, but with the other guys, it was "Man Up, Cowboy Up, Don't be a *****" That lasted till I was 40 years old, on a decreasing scale.

Things started to change once I hit my forties. I began to feel that I lived a good life, and lived a life for others, was a good son, brother, uncle, employee, even attended Mass every Sunday. But here I was all alone. It was a chance meeting with a police officer in the gym, (ok, I was on the hunt, believe me, if you saw him....:eek:). In our conversation, he let it be known that he wore pantyhose to keep warm on cold nights. When we got back to his place, he modeled them for me, and then he let me try on a pair.. and BINGO!... almost thirty years of pent up desire, wishes, dreams... all came home.

So, I now think of things a bit differently. :battingeyelashes:

Cassie :love:

[justmetoo]

That was a long time ago for me! lol
I know I had a strong desire to dress as far back as I can remember. Certainly as early as early elementary school (5 or 6 years old?). I also know I knew it was something that I "shouldn't" be doing. My macho father would've blown his stack, that's for sure. So I kept it a secret. To the best of my knowledge no one had a clue and I was never caught. When I came out to various family members in recent years none of them gave me any indication that they had any idea.

[julia ann]

when I was a youngster I knew I was the only male in the history of the world that had ever even thought about wearing close and looking like a pretty girl. Might have been just a little bit off on that I do have to admit now! :-)

[LookingGlass]

I was conflicted about it. The first few times I saw crossdressing in media it was always in comedic roles making it apparent that it would be bad to be caught. I was already fantasizing clothes and shoes I'd see in catalogs and on women and girls. Couple that with taking pajamas I had and turning them into bikinis and slave girl Leia from Return of the Jedi outfits, this was all rather disheartening. Fast forward a few decades and I've just now started coming to grips with things and moving in a more positive direction. I think it was breaking down and finally buying my first pair of black stiletto heels started the healing hahaha

[cheryl reeves]

it was the macho male i had a problem with for they thought stupid thoughts about me which lead to them getting a attitude adjustment. see until i got married and slowed down i always weighed 120-130,heavist i got was 3 mo in the military where i went to 140,problem was and is im very strong,just never showed it. this is why i never ever undressed in front of a male,for i was different and got tired of beating a macho males behind. even dressed i carry myself in way that says messing with me is a bad idea...

[CountessVF]

I also grew up with a healthy dose of Monty Python. Fancy that. The earliest memory involving CD was some movie where a couple women get back at their boss with roofies, bondage and crossdressing. I'm not sure I knew what "turned on" was, but I definitely was. Even tho I tried stuff on I was able to mentally back flip and think that all Crossdressers were probably gay. To clarify, I am hetero. Anyhoo.... I like beer.

[Erika Lyne]

I had no context...all I knew as a preschooler was that I was 'different' in the eyes of my parents and siblings. I took different as synonymous with bad or defective.

Right there with you Kim. I was about 4 when I first got caught drssing in my mother's things. I was ridiculed and land blasted by her. It felt so right emotionally to be dressed but so socially wrong at the same time.

Still have guilt to this day and I'm also not out to my family because of it.

-E

[BillieAnneJean]

I had no idea crossdressing even existed other than the Spike Jones "all girl band", the "I Was a Male War Bride" movie, and "Some Like It Hot". I got lucky and skipped ALL guilt and anything like that. CDing is all fun for me. I am SO lucky!

My heart goes out to anyone having any struggles. That is one reason why I formed The Grand Illusions, a CDer support and social group. It is not unusual to have a new person come and in tears, recount their struggles.

Life is short. Please be happy. Crossdressing is neither a crime nor anything immoral. Enjoy yourself. Women do it all the time. Why can't guys?

[Kirsty Louise]

I used to dress at a young age and I’ve got no idea why all that I know was that I liked it and liked girls as well. I used to love Monty Python and still do. So I suppose for me nothing has changed

[Lily Catherine]

First cross-dressing at 11, a year prior to graduating from primary school, I was just stupidly curious at best. Externally it was considered a perversion, and I thought I was the only one who was into 'that nonsense'. Incidentally, CDing of both genders was meted out as a punishment in primary school - specifically hair and uniform offenses in particular. Never had to do that though.

[Marcelle]

While I can recall inklings of liking my sister's clothing more than my own when I was young (pre-school) I never really thought about the concept of being transgender. My first real understanding of it was when I was 18 (first year in the military) and posted to Germany. I was going out with a girl who was in a more "interesting" scene than my day to day existence. She thought it would be fun for us to go to a club as reversed genders . . . naturally I declined externally while internally I found myself wanting to do it more than anything so I grudgingly let her talk me into is (yeah grudgingly . . . right :)). When she was finished, I have to admit I was a bit awed by the reflection staring back . . . being young I was a lot prettier than now :battingeyelashes:. We went out and I had the greatest night of my life . . . the next day "guilt, shame, disgust" crept in and I went back to being a guy . . . never called her again and beat this down for the next 32 years until it exploded on me emotionally.

Hugs

Isha

[Stephanie Julianna]

I have wanted to dress like my sisters from my very earliest memories. Imagine what little girls and teenage girls my sisters ages were wearing in the early to mid fifties. I was surrounded by petticoats around the house and classmates wearing the girliest dresses with princess heels. It was maddening because I knew boys should not be wanting to dress like girls. So for that time and the rest of my life I have always looked at girls two ways. I love being with them and wishing the clothes off their pretty bodies.

[alwayshave]

My formative years were in the 60's and I had a number of older sisters and was always interested in women's clothes from the age of 5 on. I knew it was wrong. I don't ever remember being told it was wrong but just knew. My only exposure to crossdressing was in comedy (i.e., Flip Wilson as Geraldine, etc...). Thus, crossdressing was something funny or derided. For the most part, while I always dressed I kept it deep in the closet until the last few years.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I was always fascinated by crossdressers, though I only saw them on the screen- so from my early teens I guess. I'm still fascinated by them. :) :battingeyelashes:

[Sarah-RT]

When I was a kid I didn't really see things as gendered, such as things boys would do, or girls would do that i can remember but I notice my niece does such as asking for help downloading "girl games" on a smartphone for her to play, I spent most of time outside cycling and kicking around the football. so the times I crossdressed which I didn't know what it was at the time I didnt see any problems with it, some of it was spur of the moment, other times I NEEDED to do it but had no explanation of why but wasn't concerned about the why of it either.

I learned to go from cycling a child's bike with training wheels to my older sisters bike which was purple but it didn't cost me a thought

[c2candice]

My earliest experiences were as a very young child, maybe 10 or so. My best friends house had two very well stocked "Dress up" trunks. My friend and I would play the game of "house", meaning one person was the husband, the other the wife. Guess which one I always chose? I tried to make it seem like a reluctant choice of course. Well that happened a few times until another parent came downstairs and saw me all dressed up and said "well don't you look pretty" and just stared at me for a long time. I think as she said it, she didn't know whether I was a boy or girl. Didn't really think much of all that at the time, just fun dressing up. Also tried to convince him to play barbies with me, and dress up the dolls. That only happened once or twice, but I remember enjoying it. At that age my family didn't have rigid definitions on what a boy or girl should do, so I didn't really understand it as wrong, I just knew that it wasn't what most other boys were into. I also played hockey like a good Canadian kid, boy scouts, and happy doing those too.

Fast forward a few years, the game playing over, and the same friend and I watch TV together after school. So happens, Jerry Springer is on (and totally inappropriate for my age). The repeated themes of "my girlfriend has a secret", or "i was born a boy, and my boyfriend doesn't know", where a transsexual girl would reveal to unsuspecting boyfriend that she was born as a boy. Boyfriend feeling betrayed flips out. Crowd cheers. Poor old tranny left in tears, beaten, broken. That was my first indication that there were other boys who wanted to be girls. And to identify with that kind of feeling, left me scared out of my pants! I had no idea

Fast forward a few more years to junior high, I experiment with moms heels, pantyhose, dresses, some lipstick. I know it felt fun, and wrong at the same time. Around then I realized, unexpectedly at first that doing this was a "turn on". For a boy, very confusing. Of course afterwards there was the wet blanket of shame and guilt. Totally confused, alone.

Fast forward a few more years to senior high. The last week of school, there is a day informally known as "grad drag", where the girls kidnap the boys, dress them up in pretty dresses and send them to school. What a dream come true!. Everybody did it, jocks, cool kids, nerds. I got to wear a dress and comical sized balloon breasts to school for the whole day. The girl dressing me up is sooo jealous, saying that I looked better in her dress than she did *blush*. The dress was so tight, that we decided I better wear a pair of her panties to hide things *double blush*. Great experience that was, nerves were high, trying not to let it on that I enjoyed it. But it was all a gag, and most of the dudes turned it into a perverted affair. Just generally being gross dudes.

Then into adult years, stuffing those feelings WAY down. Understanding and accepting the concept of transsexuals, those that have the strong feeling that they were born on the wrong body. But I know that's not me. Where do I fit in? What is the point of these feelings? I know I am straight. Always had the feeling towards women as wanting to be with them sexually and wanting to be them at the same time.

I guess the conclusion is that it's always been with me. At first genuine curiosity, then media (I blame) skewed my perception.

What I hope for the future generation, with the advent of the internet, is that they can find some resources out there that can help them understand how they feel, and where they fit in, and that they aren't alone. No need for shame , guilt. I fear though that what's out there is not well presented for youth to understand. I think with too much information, a person might get even more confused. Not much reliable support aside from places like here that cater to crossdressers.

Well, that turned into a long post!

Hugs,
Candice

[Leslie Langford]

My first remembrances of having a liking for (and a fascination with) girls' clothes go back to about age 5. Even then, it made absolutely no sense to me that girls were allowed to wear whatever they pleased, whereas very strict "rules" existed as to what boys could - and couldn't - wear. I'm talking 1950's and 1960's here....

I guess I must have been a rather precocious kid, as the rest of the world finally seems to be finally catching up to me ;). More and more people seem to be questioning the whole concept of gender-based clothing these days, and even the major retailers are now getting into the act with their ever-expanding unisex clothing departments and choices. :thumbsup:

[Tina_gm]

As a teenager and in my 20's.... scared to death of myself. I sooo did not want these desires. I was afraid of it on every level. I would try so hard to be more masculine and less feminine. I would curse the desires when they would wash over me. I viewed myself as a failure of a man for being feminine and not so masculine, that I couldn't shake it or the desires. Fun times....

[reb.femme]

All I thought was, "for Christ's sake, don't get caught". I know I thought it was strange then, now I know it is and I don't care :devil:.


...More and more people seem to be questioning the whole concept of gender-based clothing these days, and even the major retailers are now getting into the act with their ever-expanding unisex clothing departments and choices. :thumbsup:

If all retailers only stock unisex clothing, where does that leave cross dressers like me?

Rebecca

[sometimes_miss]

I didn't know of any crossdressers/TG folk when I was a kid. There was one gay guy next door, but I didn't know that he was gay until I was about 14. I just thought that I was supposed to be a girl, and that's why I liked dressing up like they did, and, looking in the mirror, could easily have been mistaken for a girl until I was in my very late teens. Back when I was growing up, most boys had long hair. Mine was longer than most, and when I wore girl clothes, I styled my hair differently to sort of 'feel' the difference. As I got into high school, I learned about homosexuality and transsexuals; as I wasn't attracted to boys, I figured that maybe I was a transsexual. That concept remained for years, because I couldn't come up with any other ideas.

[Leslie Langford]

That's the whole point, reb. This whole concept of "crossdressing" is just an artificial social construct foisted upon us by the patriarchy, and where for some strange reason, society has assigned a "gender" designation to the stuff we fundamentally wear so as not to run around naked or else freeze to death.

As drag superstar RuPaul once put it "We are all born naked; all the rest is just drag."

[Jaymees22]

I think I may have been curious, I spent a lot of time at our neighbors house playing with dolls. My parents were fairly liberal for the late forties/early fifties. I remember going to a party at one of my parent's friend's house and he said he had danced with Christine Jorgensen. Everyone was asking what was she like, he said she was a good dancer! I asked my mother who Christine Jorgensen was? She explained it the best she could at the time. Hugs Jaymee

[reb.femme]

...If all retailers only stock unisex clothing, where does that leave cross dressers like me?

T'was a tongue in cheek, rhetorical question :heehee:. I like bucking the trend anyway, so I'll dress all male when CDing becomes common place.

Rebecca

[Sharon B.]

Just knew that it was enjoyable and would do just about anything to find time alone to get into my older sister things and to use her makeup. there wasn't internet back then had to go to public library to try and find out what it was I was doing then if was off to Penthouse forum magazines to find out I wasn't alone it what I like to do.

[Natalie cupcake]

When I was younger and see men in dresses on TV I thought it was funny. I liked to wear my moms dresses and heels when I was younger to. I would "try" to walk around the house my mom would laugh about it.

[NANNETTE]

I always wanted to be a girl from as long as I can remember. I developed an interest in my Mother's stockings from a very early age. When I started school at the aged of five I longed to be one of the girls dressed in pretty ribbed tights. I would go to bed at night and wished and wished that I could have been a girl. This feeling started to get more and more intense as girls of my age stared to wear grown up tights in school. My high school days were very frustrating. All the girls would be wearing tights underneath their knee socks, it was a fashion peculiar to the early 70's but I loved it. I used to fantasise that I could go to school dressed like that. It was even more frustrated when I saw girls of my aged dressed in their pretty skirts and tights outside of school. From all the information I have read online I am probably not a transsexual but I still wished that I was born a girl. Funnily enough my Mother wanted a girl after having two boys. I eventually started to wear my mum's tights when I was twelve and then graduated to wearing her skirts a year or two later. It was a wonderful feeling to dress as a girl but I still had that feeling that I could stop doing it. I never have and do not regret one minute of it.

[NANNETTE]

In addition to secretly wanting to be a girl, I always felt a bit feminine in school. In High school I was teased by the boys and they used to call me girl. I pretended to protest but deep down I enjoyed it. When I was fourteen I took shorthand and typing in an all girls class. The boys in my regular class teased me without mercy. One joked that I probably wanted to be a secretary when I was older and wear a mini skirt and tights and bend down to show the men my underwear. Little did they know that I would not have minded growing up to be a sexy secretary.

[Cheryl T]

I thought I was a freak who was alone in the world. I never guessed that anyone else felt as I did.
It wasn't until I was about 18 that I learned the world had others like me.
All the guilt, shame and fear I suffered under all those years. If only I had had the internet and the community support that exists now. It's so much easier for the younger girls these days, but then that's the way of the world. Someone has to blaze the trail so that others can walk freely.

[Amber_Lynn86]

I always knew it was taboo and looked down upon. I guess that's what drew me to it. The way I felt the first time I put on lingere was amazing it just felt so right and I didn't want it to end.

[Ally 2112]

I also thought i was the only one who did this until i read an article from Ann Landers .After that i tried to get all the info i could get on this subject mostly from magazines this was before the internet of course

[Beverley Sims]

At thirteen and fourteen I thought I was unique.

I did meet a couple of others when I was eighteen but as my physique and demeanor was already that of a girl they did not know of my deception.

My girlfriends and I did help them with dressing and makeup but they did not quite make the cut as well as I had.

We associated with them forabout six months but they then found another social circle.

[Adriana Moretti]

When I was younger I diddnt think about it too much....I just did it...then put the clothes away....i started as one of those sexual dressers, it made me happy, then i would hide my clothes and move on...i never dwelled too hard on it then it was fun ....

[Bima]

Hi,

There are a few things that comes to my mind. A bit of a harmless confessions, I guess. :-)

1) Although not dressing up really at that age, I did try on a female teachers long leather coat with fur trim when I was on 7 or 8, a coat that was hanging outside the classroom. I also swapped jacket with a girl in my class, I wore hers, and she wore mine for a day or two. Apart from that, I don't think I ever dressed up until my mid-teens.

2) Albeit not dressing up on a regular basis, I quite often fantasized about dressing in female clothing, in particular adult women's. Was not really interested in girl clothing of my own age. In particular the female teachers of my school, and the female adult neighbors, my friends mum's and alike, were subjects to my little fantasy. :-) Often my fantasies did not just involve myself, but I often imagined that some of friends were affected or involved. It just seemed more fun.

I vividly remember one fantasy once. I must have been 11 or 12, and the whole class was waiting for the bus heading out on an excursion. Our teacher was kind of old-fashioned, dressed quite conservatively. This time she wore white coat with black dots (some kind of short-haired fur), a matching hat in the same material, a big purse, skirt, high heeled boots etc. The bad guy in the class, and he was bad, was messing around. As we stood at the bus station, waiting, I got this fantasy that he suddenly swapped into the teachers clothes, and the teacher swapped into his "cool" leather jacket, trousers, sneakers etc. The whole thought, and the view, of that this guy would wear her coat, hat, purse etc, and the teacher would wear his clothes, gave me a combination of enticement, shock and amusement. The whole situation would be so utterly absurd, I thought, and that just amused me a lot. Also often fantasized how they would also take on each others roles. That thought and sight also amused me a lot. Also did that here, he running around "coordinating" things, keeping order of the pupils, at the bus station as teachers do, and she messing around, making pranks on my friends. But mostly, it was of course myself that was involved in those fantasies. :-)

3) However, I did not think much of the strangeness of dressing in women clothing, or my fantasies. I just enjoyed them. I did of course know that this was not anything to talk open about, and that others would not understand. However, that was not a big issue for me, as I did not see me as transgendered at that time, and I did not know about such terms as transgendered, transvestite or alike.

[Karen kc]

I wore moms undies when I was 5, that was around 1962-3 . no internet, lived in the country, christian conservitive country upbringing-in which Im proud of- was not in any way attracted to boys, probably didnt know what gay was at that time, was tough, great little leaguer but wore panties!.. I knew something was differant but what? I hid in the closet for a long long time. I just knew I was the only boy in the world who wore his moms draws!!
Then come widows 95 and I learned I was not alone. If I had it to do over again, or if I could change anything nope not a thing

[Athena_]

I remember just enjoying the silkiness of the fabrics and the feel of them against my skin at a young age. I loved the look and feel of the straps and lace. I hid it from the world because I thought I was strange. I thought I was being bad and I was sure that it was sinful. I did not understand it as an 8 or 9 year old. I grew up in a home with 2 sisters and a mom. I remember borrowing clothes from them on occasion. They dressed me up as a girl for Halloween over a few years. I had the best time! I suspect that one or more of them may have known about my desire to cross dress, but has never said anything. Those Halloween's dressed up are one of my strongest memories from my pre teen years.

[Lexi_83]

Right there with you Kim. I was about 4 when I first got caught drssing in my mother's things. I was ridiculed and land blasted by her. It felt so right emotionally to be dressed but so socially wrong at the same time. //I had a hard time with my family also. I was caught partially dressed (bra and panties, in the house) when I was 10 or so and my parents were very understanding. Fast forward to 15 and I got caught completely en femme. My parents view was that they "Had a fag for a son" and were convinced I was gay. They became very watchful any time I was around other boys as they thought I might get involved with them somehow. It impacted our relationship forever. When I started having GF's they were more relieved, but I'd internalized the idea that if I wanted to dress as a girl I must be gay. It took a few more years rebounding from some bad choices and some ruined relationships to work through that.

Being able to connect with others who had the same feelings was a lifesaver. Thank goodness for the internet and some of the GBLT websites of that time or I might have gone crazy. Eventually I got some counselling and went to some support groups and became a lot more comfortable with dealing with the real me - that's a full-time job!


As a teenager and in my 20's.... scared to death of myself. I sooo did not want these desires. I was afraid of it on every level. I would try so hard to be more masculine and less feminine. I would curse the desires when they would wash over me. I viewed myself as a failure of a man for being feminine and not so masculine, that I couldn't shake it or the desires. Fun times....I hear you, I always felt I had a "terrible secret" that I couldn't confide to anyone.

[Julie Denier]

My earliest recollections are of, as a toddler, clomping around in my mom's and grandma's heels. Later, I was drawn to pantyhose. Sometime during grade school, I got my younger sister to help me dress up - skirt, blouse, pantyhose, heels - from the hamper and Mom's closet. I remember that day, the doorbell rang after I was all dressed up. My sister went to answer it. I got back into my own clothes and went down to discover two of my neighborhood friends at the door, to whom my sister had just recounted our dress-up activities. I managed to weather that storm - to my knowledge, word didn't spread among our peers (must have been during the summer, so no classroom gossip) and apparently all was forgotten. Anyway, by this time I knew this had to be "wrong" somehow, so future experiments with Mom's clothing were done in secret. I never fully dressed (clothes from the skin-out, makeup, wig and heels) until about five years ago, in my late 30s ... ;)

[DonnaT]

I knew I wasn't the only one, but other than that, only gave thought to how good it felt, and how scary it was as well if caught.

[Eryn]

I knew of only one crossdresser in my (60s) youth. It was a man who lived in town who would occasionally shop in the thrift store. My mother volunteered there and they would set aside large sizes for him. He was considered to be quite bizarre, but nobody dared say anything because he was the only truck/tractor Diesel mechanic in town and if he left the next one was 100 miles away.

As far as my own dressing up, I would occasionally wear an item of my mother's and promptly feel guilty about it as I knew that doing that was Very Wrong. Nobody ever caught me because I was very careful with what I did. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to be caught and at least have to acknowledge my "interest."

I didn't think of my experimentation as crossdressing because I never dressed fully.

[suzzi]

my first encounter with cd was at my cousins house , I spent many nites there and one nite he comes out of the bathroom with nylons panties and a bra on and I was like whats going on here? really cant remember if that's what started me to cd but I have been since I was very young, 9 or 10.

[immike]

I became interested in crossdressing,when I watched my mother&sisters dress in beautiful clothing,like dresses,short mini skirts,silk blouses,silky pantyhose,&I decided I wanted to secretly try on mothers clothes,since they were the most expensive,so I secretly began trying on her dresses,skirts,blouses,shoes,all of her
business suits,etc.Several times I snuck a fresh,unopened pkg of her pantyhose out of her drawer,and put them on,with her good skirtsuits&practiced walking around the house,in heels,with the drapes all closed&doors locked.I stayed dressed for several hours some days&sat at her makeup table&tried on her wigs,too

[Janine cd]

When I was about 5, I thought that I should have been born a girl. That began a life of questions that have never been really answered.

[BobbiD33]

When i was younger i didn't think about crossdressing. It was the early 60s and in my home town it wasn't a known option.

I don't even remember how it occurred to me that when my parents were out for the evening i could put on mum's clothes, and when my sis when to uni, hers.

A few years later i knew a llittle more.

[Lacey New]

I was excited and thrilled whenever I had a few minutes to wear some of my mother's or sister's lingerie and achieve the inevitable outcome. I felt like it was so taboo but it was addicting as well. I wanted so much to fully dress like a girl but never really could. At the time, I felt as if I was one in a million. Every now and then I would see an article by Ann Landers saying that , yes, it is strange, but basically harmless and I would see ads in the back pages of Penthouse for a place called Michael Salem's TV Boutique. So I knew there were a few others on the planet like me but they must be a rare bunch and that we best stay well hidden.

[Suzann3]

I remember exactly how I started wearing female clothing. My Aunt who was about six years older than me, was doing a fashion course for one of her O level exams. She making this seventies style trouser suit and needed to a model to put it to alter it etc. I was ten at the time and about the same height and build as her. She used to look after me and my younger sister whilst my parents worked or went out. One evening she asked me to put her trouser suit so she could check it out and mark alteration. It took sometime for my Aunt to convince to do it. When I put it on it felt so good, the feel of the material against my skin, and how it fitted me felt great. From the point I would experiment with my mum and sisters clothing. I even would sneak upstairs when around my Grandma's house, into my Aunt's bedroom and sneak clothes into the bathroom to try on. It was never because I thought I was really woman. It was and always has been because it felt good to wear something do soft, silky, delicate against my skin. It was relaxing. Certainly helped me through my teen years by relieving the stress of growing. To this day I will come home from a hard day at work and put on something feminine to help relax the stress of the day away.

[xoMindyxo]

I think I was about 10 when my mom as a goof put one of my sister's dresses on me. I remember it being fun ?

As I got in my teenage years, I had this feeling of it being so wrong but being so right at the same time. I liked being a guy (still do) but, something about wearing female's clothing just did something for me. I also felt waves of guilt and shame for it too. And confusion as well.

[Janine cd]

I was 5 when I first remember wondering why I couldn't have been born a girl. The thought of being a girl was constantly on my mind. It took me until age 11 to believe that I was born in the wrong gender and that I should try to be as feminine as I could be.

[JesseGirl]

I had a girl friend when I was about 6 - 7 and that's where my crossdressing started because I was always intrigued buy her clothes because she was a mega girly girl and we used to play dress up lol girls being girls she would dress me up in her stuff etc it was cool and I always remember walking around her house in her mini skirts lol that's where my love of mini skirts come from but it was a fab childhood, she was a big influence on me and how I turned out lol

[AmyVanessa]

Back then, I hadn't heard the term "cross dressing" though I liked to try on dresses, bras and shoes when I was home alone.
So I guess I liked it, but i didn't know it was really a thing

[Curiosity666]

I never thought that there was anything wrong with what I was doing, but I was afraid that I'd get caught. I lost the desire to cross dress during my teenage years, and only recently has it started to return.

[jjjjohanne]

When I was a kid, I thought I was the only one. I wondered if it meant I was gay. I hated myself sometimes. I fought it and it kept winning. In high school there were two CD's who shopped in the store where I worked. I really wanted to know what brand of pantyhose one of them wore because they were so pretty. I never asked, of course. I once saw in a Psychology book a picture of a man with his daughter. He was wearing a nightgown. I thought how amazing it was that some people didn't hide their crossdressing.

[Alice_2014_B]

Thank you for the responses everyone.
I was kind of surprised at the variety of responses.
:)

[Nadya]

Back then I didn't even know what crossdressing and crossdressers are. All I knew was that I liked wearing women's clothing and it wasn't right for boys to do that for some reason.

This is kinda how I felt. I was fascinated by girls clothes and wished I was allowed to dress how I wanted.

[annecwesley]

As a teenager and in my 20's.... scared to death of myself. I sooo did not want these desires. I was afraid of it on every level. I would try so hard to be more masculine and less feminine. I would curse the desires when they would wash over me. I viewed myself as a failure of a man for being feminine and not so masculine, that I couldn't shake it or the desires. Fun times....
That was way I felt too. I thought I was the only one who liked dressing in girl's clothing, or that I was turning gay. Ad to that an unhealthy dose of paranoia (afraid of someone finding out) and insecurity (I was a skinny kid with home problems). One girl in highschool didn't want to go out with me because she didn't think I was masculine enough! That was a big blow, though now I wish I had taken advantage of my lack of masculinity instead of bulking up and growing a beard to hide it.

[Michelle123]

it was in the 60's when I first started crossdressing, and I had no idea why I wanted (needed) to do it. I just knew I could not resist it for some reason.
I felt so bad after doing it. I had no idea it was normal for someone like me, and I didn't know there were others doing it. no internet back then, and certainly no one talked about it.

[emily606]

When I was 12, I tried on my mother's yellow chiffon dress, slip, nylons, and panty girdle. The feeling was incredible. I loved it and it excited me. About six years earlier, I'd been forced to play a girl in a small children's summer day camp show. It was extremely humiliating and I felt nothing but shame and I was teased mercilessly for my role. Over the six years that passed between my forced dress up and my secret voluntary dress up, I felt odd desires about crossdressing which I couldn't understand. When I was 11, I saw a boy dressed up as a girl on Halloween and as the neighborhood boys teased him, I realized that I wished I had the courage to be a girl for my costume.

In my mother's yellow chiffon dress, once the euphoria wore off, I found the reflection of myself confusing and frightening. I wondered if I was the only 12 year old boy in the whole world who stood there gazing at himself dressed up as a girl who had done it voluntarily. I felt shame and decided that if I took off mom's dress and carefully put all the items I wore away very carefully that no one would ever suspect I had put on women's clothing. I swore to myself that I'd never do it again.

I didn't do it again, ever....at least until a week or two passed and I was again home alone. It became my ritual until I was old enough to go out on my own and meet girls. I knew that once I'd had a girlfriend the desire would vanish forever. You all know it never went away.

In High School I read "The Catcher in the Rye." There is a scene were Holden is in a cheap hotel and through a window he observes a man dressing himself up in a beautiful dress and all the undergarments. I thought it sounded creepy, but I felt I wasn't creepy and it occurred to me that maybe there were men who actually liked to wear dresses as I did.

I'm sixty now. I still dress up, but I'm mostly closeted. I have a loving wife who knows I crossdress, but she is adamant that I keep it private. I still feel the tug of war or creepiness and normalcy over my desires.

Emily

[suzanne]

OMG, good question! For me the answer is complicated. When I was a teenager in the mid seventies, the culture that surrounded me despised non-conforming males. My father would point out men who appeared effeminate or just wore their hair long and remark, "That thing needsto have a bullet in it's brain. So, when I discovered my fascination for my mom's wardrobe, I was shocked, disgusted and fearful for my safety. Needless to say, I kept a low profile. But, sometime around then, I read a letter printed in Penthouse Forum. Whether it was true or just a fabrication by an imaginative writer, it captured my imagination. The writer, a woman in her mid thirties, told the story of the seventeen year old boy who lived next door. In the end, he bought some skirts, tops and heels and dressed up for her. She said he looked completely feminine. Instead of being put off, I was fascinated and wanted to have that experience myself. But I could never admit that to anyone.

[Maria in heels]

Ah...when I was young, just wearing those beautiful black patent leather platform high heels from my step mother was all it took. Of course I had the clothing as well, and once old enough, learned to buy from Rainbow Shops so I could have my own things....

My dressing back then when I was very young was not about entertainment, but about being myself .... I loved sleeping dressed and getting up early to change back as it was my secret

[Chrissie1_1]

For me dressing has always been sexual, even when I first tried it I can remember being sexually aroused and I was quite young. This continued through a period when I also experimented with my sexuality and was a mutually dependent situation - I needed to be dressed to feel sexually attracted to my (one and only male) partner and I needed to have sex when I was dressed. As I continued to dress I discovered fetish wear and that is where I feel most comfortable, with a female lover, now wife, but it is, for me still solely about sex.

[Angie G]

I started dressing at about age 11 or 12 years old. Better then 50 years ago. back then I didn't now what gay even was other then happy. Putting on a pice of womans clothes what ever I could find and when I could put them on. I did it, it felt good to have them on. no ever knew till 8 years ago wheh I told my wife
I was never sorry I dressed.:hugs:
Angie

[LaurenNZ]

I don't think I recognised it as cross dressing when I first started (10 or 11), it was just the wonderful feeling the softness of the panties and lingerie that I borrowed against my body. The feel of the firmness of a swimsuit and the texture of the material. These memories have stayed and now I indulge in my own selection of pretty clothes. Although still closeted I still get the same thrill out of being nicely attired.

[Kristy 56]

You know this is a really good question,and I don't really remember. What I do remember is trying on my sisters clothes and not wanting to get caught. I do remember watching the little rascals and seeing some cross dressing in a few of the episodes,also school plays sometimes there was a female role to be played. I never stepped up,so I guess I was afraid of ridicule. But then again ,teachers were still in the dark ages and would put a bow in your hair as punishment and call you a sissy. This was in the early 60's ,and I don't remember any girls being ridiculed for being a tomboy.

[carolynmartin]

I remember my mother would leave her high heels in the living room after a night out with my father. Before they woke up, I would put her shoes on and play secretary, sometimes asking my younger brother to dictate letters to me! I was about six at the time. I often wonder if my brother has any memory of that.

My mother says I loved to watch her get ready when going out, offering suggestions on what to wear. Eventually I got the message that boys don't like girl things, so I tried to hide my attractions. Since I was the oldest there was no big sister's closet to raid. I started furtively wearing my mothers clothes when I was twelve.

I was not happy being a boy.

[jennyph]

Back then I didn't even know what crossdressing and crossdressers are. All I knew was that I liked wearing women's clothing and it wasn't right for boys to do that for some reason.

This sounds exactly like my experience too. I was about 5 or 6 when I first thought about putting on female clothes. However, even then, I knew based on comments I had heard from family members (using words I won't repeat here) that I shouldn't want to do that.

[Maria 60]

I guess thinking about it now, I never really tried to figure it out, but everytime I dressed it was going to be the last time. But I could never resist that feeling of those pantyhose as I pulled them up my legs. Thought I could stop anytime, but I was wrong. I remember being in high school and dating many girls and then wondering why I wanted to dress up. It was a confusing and guilty time in my life.

[karenpayneoregon]

Hard to remember back that far but kind of remember that I just acted female with no second thought about it. I was chastised by the other boys just about everyday in grade school about acting female rather than male. Lived in a secluded community were I was never exposed to gender issues until in my late teenage years and even then as many are confused so was I when things started to mature in a way not that of a female which was upsetting. As with many I would do my best to distance myself from the female within but that only lasted so long.

My mother saw it but never said anything which she told me after transitioning to female. She said she could easily visualize me as female. She was just as much in the dark as I was. I did date females throughout my life and many told me (within the past ten years) that after dating me for sometime they felt like they were dating a female. I mention this only because I was not actually trying to be female around them, it just came out.

[AllisonCS1]

When I was a kid, well we were really poor and I had an older sister... So crossdressing to some extent always went on, well quite often, jeans and tshirts... shoes.. but she was a tomboy...

But back then I hated wearing her clothes, or anything girly in general... no iced tea, no lemon aide(only rootbeer or cooliade)... heck at sometime I thought smiling a lot was girly... the only thing I ever did growing up that my young mind could associate with girlyness was cooking but even then I watched the frugal gourmet all the time and the host was a guy, but that was around 10 or so... growing up others had to beware if they insinuated anything about me being either a mama's boy(not true) or girly. the later actually ended more than a few friendships.

[Robyn2006]

I'd love to say that I knew from the start, but all I knew early on was that I was a bit off the mark for a boy. I was small, not at all athletic, didn't like sports at all, and didn't do any of the things boys are supposed to do... Couple that with the fact that all around me was nothing but in a world of women, with two very, VERY beautiful older sisters who I so loved to watch whenever they got all dolled-up, my mother too. I didn't quite know what the deal was with me until I was 14 when things came together. From the very moment I first put on my mother's lipstick, I knew what the deal was... :kiss:

[Brandy Mathews]

I was about 10 years old, and I knew that it was not right, but I didn't care. If society could handle a guy converting to female, I would be there in a heart beat! Would LOVE to be female 24?7! Is it an age thing? I think that the older you get, the more that you don't seem to care, or don't seem to care what people say. All I know is..... I am so happy for this site. Thank you ladies! You are all awesome!!!!!!!!

[joanne51]

Back in the mid-60's when I was 16 I had seen a newspaper article about one of the top drag artists at the time.
The concept of heterosexual males crossdressing wasn't mentioned (he was just an entertainer).
But that was enough to arouse my curiosity and when I was alone in the house I felt I had to explore my mum's clothes.
It wasn't til much later that I associated what I was doing as cd'ing.
Those early days of just trying on clothes was a long way from what I do now, which is the full female look (with makeup, wig, and breast forms). I expect I would have ended up where I am now eventually had I not taken that path.

[stellatoo]

When I was 11ish after discovering my liking for girls clothes I randomly asked a teacher in a class full of fellow students what a man wearing women's clothes was called. The silence was deafening. She replied Transvestite and the lesson went on! No one said anything afterwards but I was off to the library to read more about it.

[Lorna]

It was not until my early teens that I began to be interested in female clothing. Not having any sisters, I didn't really think about what girls wore until I began to become interested in girls generally. I was fascinated by how different their clothes were and realy wanted to know what it felt like to wear them. Stockings were the big thing: girls my age were excited when they were allowed to start wearing nylons, usually only for special occasions to begin with but then more frequently until many of them wore stockings every day to school. I watched them walking along the street and waiting at the bus stop. What did it feel like to have those smooth nylons going right up your legs and wwalking along in them wearing a skirt? So that's where it started: I just couldn't resist finding an opportunity to try them. Progression to other items took quite a long time and I didn't get any heels until I was much older. I still can't be bothered with make-up, jewellery, etc. The clothes are the thing.

[Krististeph]

I knew i wanted to dress in female things. Still not sure if i want to transition. I liked girls. I liked girl things. I had girl friends. I had girlfriends. I had boy friends. I even had a friend who i finally figured out was gay, a year older- we would just hang out- no gay or sissy stuff- he just liked me- decent guy. Wish we still stayed in touch. Never CDd in public, not in rural wisconsin. Hell no. Not in the Army. Though I may have mentioned something to my Sgt when I had a training f-up- artillery is not forgiving.

I preferred playing with girls- not necessarily girly things- we could do just about anything. Kind of androgynous. I probably would have done extremely well in present day Sweden... who knows. I didn't know about other cross dressers for a while, I knew i was odd, but didn't think i was unique. I had no interest in associating with other CDs mostly because the whole idea was so closeted and reviled. I was not perfect by any means, of course, but people were assholes. Serious true assholes. A good majority of them.

I'm really lucky to have found this blog, and met so many wonderful people here. The world is changing, it will never be perfect, or even fair, but it is a heck of a lot better than it was. And so many potential a-holes have been helped and educated that people come in so much more variety than we used to think. I'm just very happy for those younger than us who are able to express their gender feelings as they truly feel, and hope we can continue to expand this ability to live as we are created. It will not be easy, nor fast, but withing a few generations, hopefully TGs everywhere can grow and find their place in society, just like every other knucklehead out there...

[AussieJess]

My earliest memories of cross dressing are from about 4-5 years old, circumstances and details are a little fuzzy, but kinder and school photos confirm the people I was around fit the memories. But vividly, I remember from about 7, on wards. From stealing my mother's swimwear, to sneaking in my Nanas nighty, and when I was 10 or so, on my paper round, I used to stop at the local sports store window, and admire and dream of the girls and ladies sporting clothes on display. I didn't have any idea what I was doing, or being, not until my teen years, when I heard the term "cross dresser" in early highschool that I started to price together what I was doing. I felt it wasn't socially acceptable, maybe even wrong. I tried to suppress it, but, that never lasts...
I've finally been able to embrace and share it, and I've never been happier!

[RedFourteen]

I thought it was fantastic but shameful also. I knew it was something I had to keep hidden from everyone but still enjoyed it. Purged a few times but always came back for more!

[joanne barber]

I remember for a long time wanting to try on my little sister's stuff. One summer after just turning 7, I got up enough courage to try on her nice sailor dress when there was nobody around in the house. They were all in the backyard, so had to be quick about it. With a sister & 4 older brothers, I was never alone. Having them all outside for a few minutes on a nice summer day was all the privacy I could get. I remember almost failing over seeing myself in the mirror because I thought I looked so pretty. But even at a younger age I knew if I ever got caught putting on girls clothes, I'd get the crap beat out of me, & probably be punished in other ways too. So I dressed in girls clothes only on a rare occasion when I was not likely to get caught throughout the whole time I live with my parents. When I first moved out, I shared a place with a roommate who would probably not very very CD-friendly. But at least I had a locked room to wear stuff, & didn't have to worry about parents digging around through my things, & finding my stuff, so was able to finally get nice female clothes.

[darci17]

I remember learning about religion through my parents, being taught about prayer. When I was very young I would pray that when I grew up I would grow up to be a girl.

Well, that never happened. And I'm not religious any more either.

As far as the clothes go, I knew the world didn't want to see a boy wearing girl's clothing, so I only did it in private.

[Diane1950]

Growing up in the late fifties and early sixties, I knew that I was different because I tried on mom's undies in private and liked it. I didn't think about whether anyone else did it.
The social pressures were intense. I couldn't even tell my best friends for fear of ridicule,even thought some of them might have been doing the same thing secretly. And worse yet, I got caught more than once, either in the act or from things that had obviously been tampered with. These episodes always prompted much parental ranting, raving, and screaming, coupled with threats to "have me put away with the rest of the queers". (Ironically, this gave me my first inkling that there were others somewhere.)

I liked girls (still do) but was very shy and ill at ease around them. I was behind the curve socially all through high school, and dressing gave me a beautiful place to go once in a while.

[kaylyn]

I remember when I first did it I don't remember the age but single digits. I was helping with laundry and while folding clean clothes I pocketed a pair of my cousins silk panties. After feeling how nice they felt I put them on and have been doing it ever since. I got caught twice by my parents, the first time I was so embarrassed I cried and they threw all my panties away along with two bras. The second time I was driving home after a shopping trip with my cousin and grand ma who knew and fully supported and my mom saw the size large panties and the C cup bras and called me out again I had gynoclomastica when I was a teenager and my boobs were smaller than theirs and she knew they couldn't fit c cups. I came clean after that and was told that it wasn't okay and that it was weird. I didn't pay it any attention. Now I stay fabulous anywhere and everywhere I go!!

[warren brandon]

I was 9 and wore my sisters skirt to town.... Many whistles

[bobbimo]

Like Terri I was amazed by Christine Jorgensen's story and secretly hid the copy of Parade magazine that had her story. I too joined the Navy and married when I got out. I was very afraid that I had to be a boy or a girl and didnt know what to do. I was married kids coming, not enough money to transition and I didn't live in an area where these things were well known. After the internet became popular I discovered a gender test that told me I needed both sexes in me to be happy.WOW was that great news. So now I am a happy girl when I want to be and sloppy ass guy when the time calls for it.
My preferred mode is clean and in a pretty dress.
Bobbi

[Alex!]

Well, for most of my life since the age of 10 I thought I was weird, despite enjoying what little crossdressing I could manage. As I got older, this became shame as I thought I was off in the head or something. I never once thought I was a female in a male body, however. But I could not explain my crossdressing habit until much later. In 2006, thanks to the Internets, I discovered that I wasn't alone. This helped me emerge from shame, but I confess I do not share my hobby with anyone except those who share it, because people will blow the whole thing out of perspective. It isn't worth it, especially since I am not out to change the world. I now feel that crossdressing is almost entirely a sexually-related behavior, and not a transgender one (CD-Sex). The exception is the kind of crossdressing that some explore early on because it conforms more comfortably with a gender identity that doesn't match the exterior (CD-Gender). I think there are WAY more CD-Sex folks than CD-Gender folks, but I am only guessing. Men are much more inclined to explore physical sexuality than women, though obviously there are exceptions. In exploration, CD-Sex comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and since 2006 I learned how utterly boring I am in comparison :D

[Melissa73]

AS A CHILD, i didnt know there was others like me, that loved to wear girl clothes. my family caught me all the time, but we just didnt talk about it. UNtil that is, when my Dad told me not to get into my sisters stuff! it wasnt until late highschool---- And into college when the internet began! i remember i didnt have a computer, but id go to the public library and read all the books they had, and then explore what was on the computer (internet).

BUt my lack of knowledge, didnt stop me from dressing the way i wanted! all i knew was i liked it! (From the first moment i got up from watching tv and went to my sisters room. i dont know what possessed me to try on her dress, but i knew i wanted too. i craved it!

I read practically all i could.... and even remember a Ann Landers column when i was in highschool (about 1989-90) where mother was writing that her son liked to wear his sisters clothes..... her advice: buy him his own clothes.

NOw today, as i confessed my desires to my brother, my sister and my mother.......(despite being caught) noone ever gave it a thought that i would still be crossdressing! i can detail everything i wore growing up, and every situation i was caught! it was dramatic for me..... yet for them, its as if it never happened!


Melissa (Hugs)

[BenE]

One of my earliest memories, probably back when I was 5/6 was actually of me, going into my mothers room and trying on her clothing. I have absolutely no idea, what drove me to do so-but it's stuck in my mind ever since.

[Barbara Jo]

I was born in 1947. and had a 4 years older sister....also a a younger sister.... i was the middle child.
This was the era of the ultra feminine '50s lingerie and fashions.
It was when I was about 7-8 years old when I first stated to wear my moms panties , slips, etc when in the bathroom and sometimes in my room at night..... always hoping that I would not be discovered of course.

Then..... I soon started to wear my older sisters things when she was 13-14 (and I was about 9) and she started to wear grown up lingerie and some grown up clothing.
I remember when she and my mom had a bit of an argument when she demanded nylon panties, slips, etc relating that she no longer wanted to wear "baby clothes" .
Yes, she developed a bit early and even started to wear bras at that age which I also wore. I was so envious of her.
Anyway, my sister's clothes fit me much better than my mom's

I did not realize what it was all about and though that i was about the only one who felt this way.
There was no info anywhere about being a TV/TS etc.

My parents were both first generation European Americans blue collar types (Italian and Polish) and I knew they would never understand this.

[brynnewilliams]

I liked trying on nylons. I never understood why. I just knew that I liked to do it. I was around 5 or so. I didn't even know what a crossdresser was at the time.

[TrishaTX]

I always liked the clothes, starting very early with bathing suits, panties from my sister and nightgowns from my mom, i always loved satin, spanx and nylon...the feeling etc. I would always get off wearing these.

[Sophie Hogletta]

Awesome thread. So amazing to read people with my experience. I loved dressing up from about 10 and all my best friends were girls and I was so jealous of them. I also used to love sort of prancing around like a girl naked in the open. Cannot believe I never got caught. I sort of idolised older 16 year old guys at school which I guess was a kind of a crush. I also remember writing down all the things that had to change for me in order to become a girl - physically and mentally. So I wanted to be a girl from a quite early age. Still do, but not sure where this will take me . . . the weird thing is that my best friends know about this, but I am pretty relaxed.

[Sophie Hogletta]

Oh, and I used to love one-piece female swimsuits and because I lived in a very isolated place when I was 13 I was able to wear one on the beach for an afternoon and it was amazingly cool and I felt like Sophie was born and I never wanted to go back ever. Bearing in mind I am very small and was ever smaller then. :D:daydreaming:

[Angie G]

When I started putting on girl things I didn't know others did it. All I knew was I liked it.:hugs:
Angie