Shopping for your fem needs

[Amanda420]

Ive noticed alot of crossdressers are not very comfortable shopping for clothes or make up in "drab". I must admit the first couple times were foriegn to me, yet very exciting! I mean guys shop for thier SO's all the time so its no big deal. Just know your size, and keep recipts. Along time ago when I was 18 I bought some dressy black low strappy sandals with some silver sequins from walmart, well with in a day or two a strap ripped and I wanted to return them. I was very nervous, and I was I a huge line with a box of womens shoes, sweating bullets.
When it was my turn I got a 16 year old dude to help me. I said "I need to return these, their defective" He said "They didnt fit ya?" in a playful manner and I said "They dont compliment my eyes." He laughed and refunded me!
Anyway, now I get what I need Just the other day I spent way too much money on all kinds of stuff,but it was fantastic fun! I bought a hip shaping under garment , Black tee shirt and some large silver hoop earrings from Target, then checked out Famous Footwear, Then went to Ross and bought some black and pink capri sweats for 8.00 bucks! Then I skipped to Payless shoes and bought some cute white/pink sandals and some sexy sunglasses.
Thats not all I also went into a local beauty boutique and bought some nails and glue. Then to walgreens where I bought body wash, hair clips, eyeliner, lipstick, lipliner, nail polish , lotion and other stuff.It was exspensive! But im A 5'11" dude and still no one cared about what I was buying.The clerk was a hispanic gangster for cryin out loud, and he was polite.
The only comments from clerks Ive recieved were positive like "somones a lucky girl!" or "You have great taste!" Or "Would you like to try them on?" which can be embarassing, but still fun!
What im saying is, dont deprive yourself the pleasure of shopping for girl stuff and definitly dont worry about what anyone will think.If your worried about seeing someone you know, go to the department stores on the other side of town, or say your shopping for your Mom/girfriend/wife!

[Donnie]

well said Amanda - Good luck shoppers! I can say that the last couple of days that I have had back in the shopping mode has brought all kinds of pleasure - Go buy!

[Monica55cd]

Amanda...I know what you meen...I have so much fun shopping for stuff so far only in drab....i feel its kinda like coming out to someone and most of the responses have been wonderful.. the best thing i like is when i looking for shoes and i tell them there for me and i try them one and they see my toenails painted they go.. wow how cute! or nice color...also after i tell the sales person its for me in some places and the girl starts talking to me i show a picture of me dressed i carry and they go ohh my gosh you look so pretty etc... its really a good feeling to hear that and let another person know this is me...

[Tina Dixon]

Well I am planning on stoping at the store tonight on the way home for some make up nail polish and a new slip I plan on wearing under my skirt tomarrow, I guess I'll just pick them out and go for like you said, oh and by the way you have been a great addition to the forun with you input and comments.

[Amanda420]

oh and by the way you have been a great addition to the forun with you input and comments.

Thanks so much, I really feel that I belong here! And Ive never had this kind of support before! So thanks again!

[Tina Dixon]

Thanks so much, I really feel that I belong here! And Ive never had this kind of support before! So thanks again!
Its a great place, but we allso have a lot of fun here too, besure to check all the other sections of the site for some simple fun.

[pattied]

Bottomline is this... the sales people are out to sell... we want to buy... thus the issue is in our heads, not the sellers, who could care less. Heck, if you are using they are thrilled because then their product is reaching into new markets. :)

[Tina Dixon]

Hey Amanda I did what you said, I stoped at a Dollor Store on the way home from work went to the make up section spent some time there picked what I needed went and paid, seems like know one cared and the place was packed.I guess you just got to suck it up and go for it.

[Amanda420]

Hey Amanda I did what you said, I stoped at a Dollor Store on the way home from work went to the make up section spent some time there picked what I needed went and paid, seems like know one cared and the place was packed.I guess you just got to suck it up and go for it.
Right on! Didnt it feel good?

[Deanna2]

It is great to just wander around looking at gear. I've yet to take anything to a fitting room, but I do take items off the rack and hold them up or against myself to see how they look. If I get odd stares from people I don't notice them because I am merely another shopper.

[carend_99]

My feeling is that if someone gives you a hard time, take your money elsewhere. I have no problem buying female clothes when dressed in drab because I'm not ashamed of who I am. Sure I was nervous at first, but after the first few purchases, it's no big deal. If you act like something's wrong, the more likely you are to bring attention to yourself. Just my humble opinion

[Staci]

I like shopping also. My wife gets a kick out of sending me up to buy the items. Especially if we are both buying panties as we are two different sizes. Sometimes the clerk will mention they are different sizes and I just calmly answer with an I know. Some get a funny smile then and others have no reaction. I have found that you can shop for anything and nobody really pays any attention. Happy shopping girls.

[CammyT]

Aloha Girls,
I do most of my shopping at Macy's, especially with this program they have, it's to help raise funds for organizations. Anyway, it's $25 and you get a cashcard at the end of the year based on how much you charged on your Macy's card (a percentage also goes to the charities), as well as coupons for $25. I just got this year's card for $115!
My wife shops there all the time and it's my card (black). I just have to "sort" the mail so she doesn't find it. Great way for me to shop for my femme things.
Time for some new MAC eye shadow, lip laquer and nail polish! might even have a little left for a little lace!

Sorry, I didn't reply properly to the thread! I don't have any problem shopping in drab, although I wish I could do it....sigh.

[TGMarla]

You're so right. And anyway, who cares what some person who doesn't even know you at all thinks about you? Yeah, like it's going to change your life. Just buy the stuff. Who cares? Furthermore, that voice inside of you that screams, "OMG, they'll all know I'm feminine on the inside" is only your own voice screaming, not anyone else's. Really, no one else cares a whit.

[Tina Dixon]

Right on! Didnt it feel good?
Got some really cool nail polish, cool color, a dark rassberry.

[Melinda G]

Long story short. I think we worry about it more than other people. Most people just don't care. I've been nervous too, but I have never had a problem. I have noticed however, that every time I'm looking at nylons or makeup, or shoes, some woman always walks up and starts looking at the same stuff within a foot of me. Still bums me out. Happens every time.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I
What im saying is, dont deprive yourself the pleasure of shopping for girl stuff and definitly dont worry about what anyone will think.If your worried about seeing someone you know, go to the department stores on the other side of town, or say your shopping for your Mom/girfriend/wife!

Ditto, just shop. Shopping is meant to be enjoyed, savored and if one has the money, done often.


Veronica

[amandacd2002]

When I go out in guy mode a haven't had any problems buying things. sometime some of the places I shop will not let me try on cloths , and if that happens I'll Leave and take my business else where.
For the most part they just smile and are really polite, I usually go to outlet stores or to the major malls here in the Seattle/Portland Area.

I have gone dressed up as well. and have no problems as well.
Amanda
amandacd2002@yahoo.com

[Amanda420]

When I go out in guy mode a haven't had any problems buying things. sometime some of the places I shop will not let me try on cloths , and if that happens I'll Leave and take my business else where.
For the most part they just smile and are really polite, I usually go to outlet stores or to the major malls here in the Seattle/Portland Area.

I have gone dressed up as well. and have no problems as well.
Amanda
amandacd2002@yahoo.com

I never try on, I just know my size and return if unsatisfied. Alot less trouble that way.

[Billijo49504]

This is the second time I'm typing this into the forum. I think any of the Charming stores are very CD friendly. That include3s the Charming stores, Fashion Bug and Lane Bryant, my favoriete. I love the way I have been treated at Lane Bryant. I'm treated as acustomer, no more or no less, and damn, it sure is nice to be treated that way. If I ask for a bra fitting, no problem, if I ask to use the fitting rooms, no problems. I am a coustomer, an that is all I ask. To be trreated as a coustomer, that is al I ask. But it shure is nice to be treated like a customer. When the store is full, and you want a bra fitting, it sure is fun to ask for a chance to use the fitting rooms.They might not like it, but they sure don't let on. They are just happy to make any sale. And tomarrow I willl be making a purchase,

[Megan72]

Amanda

since being married i have had absolutly no problems shopping for fem items in drab. Sometimes it gets a bit strange when i am trying to decide on one thing or another, but the nervouse look i now i get, blushing and such, is something i got when i would shop for my SO anyways. It looks a lot more natural when you just let it go. The more you hide it the more you stick out. Just realize that you are there to purchase something. More obvious is less obvious in my mind.

I actually get more nervouse shopping en fem because of the thrill of maybe being found out.

[Amanda420]

Amanda

since being married i have had absolutly no problems shopping for fem items in drab. Sometimes it gets a bit strange when i am trying to decide on one thing or another, but the nervouse look i now i get, blushing and such, is something i got when i would shop for my SO anyways. It looks a lot more natural when you just let it go. The more you hide it the more you stick out. Just realize that you are there to purchase something. More obvious is less obvious in my mind.

I actually get more nervouse shopping en fem because of the thrill of maybe being found out.
It was alot eaiser for me to shop for my stuff after I was married also, as she MADE me get her stuff a couple times. I think Its definitly easier to shop for anything as a guy, just do like most guys do and dont give a crud! I really dont get any wierd looks! No one really cares what you are getting anyway, they want to get their stuff and get out also!

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Bottomline is this... the sales people are out to sell... we want to buy... thus the issue is in our heads, not the sellers, who could care less.

Exactly. If someone does have a problem, ask to speak to their manager, who will straightened them out. And if the store has a problem, then let them know you're happy to take your money elsewhere.

Likewise, other shoppers don't really care what you're buying either.

Bottom line, I've bought femme stuff countless times both en femme and homme without a problem.

[Phillis]

I go shopping all the time for my fem needs and no one has said anything yet.
I have gone to Goodwill and other Thrift store to buy my dresses and skirts and no one has said a thing or have I received any strange looks from the clerks. Havedone the same at Wallmart and Target. I think it is fun to see the looks on the women's faces when I shop in the lingere department of any store. I have noticed that they will look at you in a strange way. That is the only weird looks I have received.

[Girly Sara]

Like many of you girls, i'm now beginning to really enjoy girly shopping, even if it is only in male mode (shopping as Sara comes shortly) As you may have read, i had a fantastic time last week with plenty of trying on before buying without a single adverse comment! Love it! :)

Sara xxxx

[Aunt Peg]

For what it's worth, a lot of the stores have those lanes where you check yourself out. The other day I had to buy some bra extenders. I just went to the self check out lane. Didn't have to worry about what the check out person was thinking.

[serinalynn]

Ive noticed alot of crossdressers are not very comfortable shopping for clothes or make up in "drab". I must admit the first couple times were foriegn to me, yet very exciting! I mean guys shop for thier SO's all the time so its no big deal. Just know your size, and keep recipts. Along time ago when I was 18 I bought some dressy black low strappy sandals with some silver sequins from walmart, well with in a day or two a strap ripped and I wanted to return them. I was very nervous, and I was I a huge line with a box of womens shoes, sweating bullets.
When it was my turn I got a 16 year old dude to help me. I said "I need to return these, their defective" He said "They didnt fit ya?" in a playful manner and I said "They dont compliment my eyes." He laughed and refunded me!
Anyway, now I get what I need Just the other day I spent way too much money on all kinds of stuff,but it was fantastic fun! I bought a hip shaping under garment , Black tee shirt and some large silver hoop earrings from Target, then checked out Famous Footwear, Then went to Ross and bought some black and pink capri sweats for 8.00 bucks! Then I skipped to Payless shoes and bought some cute white/pink sandals and some sexy sunglasses.
Thats not all I also went into a local beauty boutique and bought some nails and glue. Then to walgreens where I bought body wash, hair clips, eyeliner, lipstick, lipliner, nail polish , lotion and other stuff.It was exspensive! But im A 5'11" dude and still no one cared about what I was buying.The clerk was a hispanic gangster for cryin out loud, and he was polite.
The only comments from clerks Ive recieved were positive like "somones a lucky girl!" or "You have great taste!" Or "Would you like to try them on?" which can be embarassing, but still fun!
What im saying is, dont deprive yourself the pleasure of shopping for girl stuff and definitly dont worry about what anyone will think.If your worried about seeing someone you know, go to the department stores on the other side of town, or say your shopping for your Mom/girfriend/wife!


Well stated I go shopping for clothes and the clerks at the stores I shop at are all very friendly and know I regularly shop those stores and always invite me back in the future. Some of them even tell me if I look good in a particular item. All the female clerks know what I'm buying is for me, and they all seem very cool knowing that.

[AprilMae]

In some ways being comfortable shopping is a curse. where it used to be one item here and there one regular shoping errands no I find myself going out for the sole purpose of getting something nice, and usually spending too much.

[Amanda420]

In some ways being comfortable shopping is a curse. where it used to be one item here and there one regular shoping errands no I find myself going out for the sole purpose of getting something nice, and usually spending too much.
Thats a big problem here also!

[Krystal Lee]

Amanda,
I love to shop and will go out of my way for the chance. It is funny though as the timing and location seem to make a differance in my comfort level. I have cultivated friendships with girls at some of the shops and never have a problem unless the store is very busy or I bump into someone I know.

As was mentioned elsewhere in this thread the Charming Shoppes are very CD friendly. My local Fashion Bug is a wonderfull place and I check them out regularly. I went in this last wenesday night just befor closing and noticed the closeout sale rack had some wonderfull items hanging on it but I did not want to take amy more time up for the girls working. (them had locked the door behind me as I entered the shop and was sure they wanted to get off work)

I made small talk with one of the gals about checking to see if they were busy before coming in and she just said call and check. The next night I called and went in. The young lady came over to me and said if the fitting rooms have people and I wanted I could use the restroom as a fitting room if I would be more comfortable doing that. I ended up using the fitting room and buying two dress suits one of them a three piece for less than $13.00. Doing this in the town where I live was a bit of a rush but the girls usually put me at ease and help me to not be seen or cought by other customers.

So just go for it girls and make friends at your stores. The jitters may still be there but the fun of shopping will offset these.

Hugs Krystal.

[Lilith6]

Good 4 u Amanda, u go grl!!!

[Renee]

Amanda
I shop for all of my things in drab. I have learned to not worry about what anyone thinks and just go in stores and shop as if i were a gg. I have had some wonderful experiences while shopping and have had the opportunity to use the fitting rooms on many ocassions. Once i went to a special ocassion dress shop and was just looking thru the hundreds of dresses and was asked by the sales lady if i was finding the size i needed. I told her that i wasnt sure. She said that i looked like a size 18 and wisked me off to the plus size section of the store. I didnt have to say a thing about it being for me. (I wonder if the new french manicure that i had just had done gave me away). Anyway she began to show me different styles and then asked me to come with her. She escorted me to the fitting rooms and said to get undressed and prepared to try on some dresses. Luckily i had worn the proper undergarments and did as she asked. She began to bring a dozen dresses to the fitting room and asked if i needed any help. I told her that i was alright and she left. Soon she came back and asked me to come out and show her how the dress that i had on looked. she had me go to a platform with a 3 sided mirror and had me turn around. There were only a few customers in the store and by the time i had tried on 4 or 5 dresses the whole sales staff was waiting outside my dressing room and voting on which dress they liked best. Guess i was their entertainment for the night. Finally after trying on what must have been 30 dresses we narrowed it down to 5 and then i put them back on and we narrowed it down to 2. They then asked which i liked and i chose on that fit perfectly. They all clapped and told me that they agreed with my selection. What a shopping trip. I dont think that it will ever be topped, other than the sales lady giving me a $25 coupon to use. The dress originally sold for $450 and i got it for $79.95 with discount and coupon. They had me try on some shoes to go with the dress, but i told them i already had some that went with the dress. You never know what will happen when you go shopping and arent afraid to let the ladies know that you are shopping for yourself. This is only one of the experiences that i have had while shopping. Sorry this has been so long. Good luck with you shopping Amanda.

[Denise01]

When i first started buying my femme needs, skirts, pantyhose etc, it was in male mode, and while i was usually about 75 or so miles from home i was very nervous and had the feeling every one was looking at me.
The more i shopped, the feeling eased up a little, but still to this day i really still feel like i am out of place.
Last Nov, i took the plunge and started going shopping femme, when i was on vacation. After i realized no one was looking or staring at me, it became much easier. Now i only go shopping for femme clothes en-femme.
To-day I was out shopping femme, ( i go about 75 miles from home as it is the closest mall i will not run into some one i know ). I was wearing slacks so fit in with the rest of the girls as 99 % were wearing slacks. It is very cold in my part of the country this time of the year, so need them for warmth.
Tried on and bought 2 skirts and 2 sweaters.
Was looking at the cosmetic counter where i bought some product a couple of weeks ago. The sales girl recognized me from then and asked how i liked the samples she gave me. I bought more of the sample product from last week.
Asked about a couple of more products, and she offered to do my make up to try them, so i said OK. We were chatting just like she would to any other ladies, and asked where i lived as she did not see me in the store that often.

It felt so nice to be treated like a lady, and if she did realize I was TG, she sure did not show it, but then in the past couple of weeks, i did buy a quite a bit of product from her

Denise;)

[Rachel Morley]

Hello Amanda,

Great thread :)

Ah yes.... the demons in one's head when buying girly clothes en drab, especially when it's obvious that the size you are buying would fit you!

When I was younger (20's) I used to blow this out of all proportion and somehow think that the sales's girl would certainly "know for sure" that my purchases were for me :) However, now I 'm a young 43 year old (:D ) I'm a little bit more relaxed about it.

If I'm in unisex mode (I'm never in total guy mode) then I can handle almost anything - even feminine lingerie. But if I'm in girly boy mode where I'm wearing some fairly obvious women's clothes along with my unisex clothes then I get a little more nervous :o

Luckily for me, my wife Marla buys most of my clothes but when she doesn't all I get is either nothing or what might be considered a "knowing smile" either way I'm happy. :)