And Then the Doctor Said...

[Persephone]

I'm a client of a rather large medical practice. Most of the doctors in the practice are absolutely terrific. But two, although highly competent, have always made me a little bit uncomfortable.

One of those is my gastroenterologist (colonoscopy and endoscopy guy). He's always been very professional, very formal, seldom smiling, and hardly what I would call friendly. Although I am out and dress en femme for visits to most of my doctors, I've always avoided doing so with him.

But the time has come. My records now have my female name and "Gender: Female." But once you get into my file it says "Transgender" and the previous clinical reports that transfered over begin with "A xx-year old male presenting with..." so when I showed up today en femme for the first time in his office I didn't quite know what to expect.

As he came into the room he said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. L-----."

He then conducted his pre-colonoscopy interview in a perfectly normal manner. So much so that I was worried that when we would be together for the colonoscopy he and his nurses might be a bit surprised by what they would find under my gown!

So I hesitantly said, "By the way, I am transgendered."

And here's where he floored me! He smiled and said, "I know. I've always known."

Wait! What? He's "always known"???

I said, "Really? You've always known?"

"Yes," he said, "I always have."

So all this time I've been worried about him and he's "always known"???

I said, "Great! I just didn't want you and the nurses to panic when you found a few extra bits down there!"

He smiled (The dour doctor smiled!) and said, "Our focus is pretty small, we seldom notice anything beyond our little area" (Wow! Pretty close to a joke from the dour doctor!).

Then he said, "Are you planning on completing surgery?"

I said, "No, not really, I'm a bit too old for that."

He said, "How old is that celebrity person?"

I said, "Bruce Jenner? I think about my age."

He smiled (Again!) and said, "See, you're not too old! Don't rule it out."

We chatted a bit more and he finished up. He was the friendliest he's ever been!

Moral: Never have expectations!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[pamela7]

isn't it great, so wonderful. I've often been amazed how some outwardly grumpy people are actually fine on the inside. You made the connecting by revealing yourself, and probably in the past you being in drab with him reduced smiles all round! Funny old world, and again, so pleased.

[Shelly Preston]

It sounds like the doc was waiting for you to turn up as who you are before saying anything.

Now you can go visit him with a smile on your face :)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Clearly the motto of this story is that when consulting a gastroenterologist it is advisable to dress as a female.

Why the **** don't they teach us this stuff in shool?

[kimdl93]

Intriguing and revelatory on so many levels! One can't help but wonder how he knew...or how long is always? And what he saw that convey the transgender marker.

It's true about the focus. There was a recent study involving radiologists that illustrated just how focused. A number of radiologists were presented X-ray images of lungs to review. All were typical, except in one respect - each had a superimposed image of a small gray gorilla. Almost 80 percent of the radiologists missed the gorilla.

[Erica Marie]

I guess you can never judge a book by the cover. He seems like a very professional person and deep inside a nice person. Maybe he had a hard time judging you as you did him. Glad to hear it all worked out. I actually have a doc appt in 1 week. I of course wont be dressed as a female, but my every day cloths are all womens. It would be nice to ask my doctor for advice with my internal struggle, just afraid to bring it up.

[Krisi]

Your doctors have to know that you are transgendered even if you've had all the surgery. You are still "male" on the inside. They won't judge you, but trying to hide this can only hurt you in terms of treatment.

[Bria]

Sounds like a good day Barbara!!

Hugs, Bria

[PretzelGirl]

You say you dressed for visits to other doctors. It is a large practice, so it likely has shared records. I wouldn't be surprised if it was already in your records if you had been presenting to other doctors. That goes along with the tell-tale signs we give out. Some doctors just have so many patients to see, I think their human side disappears at work. They actually would probably enjoy letting it out more and don't feel they have the time because their health group demands so many billable patients a day. I am glad you have another affirming one on your side.

[Pat]

What a cool story! Thank you for sharing it. I love the idea that he always knew. Sorta like gaydar... maybe transgendar?

My doctor never even blinked when I told him I was TG. He asked me how I was losing so much weight and I told him that I had always been trans and had started letting the inner female make the food and health choices. He just smiled and said, "Well, then just keep on doing that and focus on losing a dress size." :)

[aly01]

Great story. Thanks for sharing.

[Tracii G]

See things work out in the end.

[Jorja]

Clearly the motto of this story is that when consulting a gastroenterologist it is advisable to dress as a female.

Why the **** don't they teach us this stuff in shool?

They did. You were absent that day because you had the pink flu.

[Beverley Sims]

Barbara,
You orta know......
You can't judge a book by it's cover.
I agree it is a pleasant surprise though. :)

[AllieSF]

Yes, I agree, have no expectation, also, do judge a book by its cover, and do not pre-judge people. That last one is difficult sometimes because we base our opinions based on previous experiences, ours or someone else's who shared theirs with us. I have read here posts by people that reflect their inner opinions that others have negative feelings and opinions of the poster, opinions that in many and maybe even in most situations that were never proved correct or not. I think that part of this is our own tendency to think negative before really giving others a chance to justify that feeling, i.e. we over react before we have any justification to do so, plus as transgender people we also have a tendency to think that everyone out their in the real world are against us.

I always try to treat everyone the same and take them at face value. When they do act or react negatively, I then change that initial positive opinion as may be needed. Doctors are a somewhat unique group of humans, some being wonderful people and maybe not so wonderful in the technical side. While others maybe experts on the technical side but have terrible bed side manners. Now, take your gastroenterologist and my urologists who do my colonoscopies and endoscopies, as yours said, their focus is on a very small area, and in my opinion focusing on assh*les all day long may occasionally bring that out in their own demeanor with some of their patients! So, I guess what I am trying to say is that give everyone a break until the moment that they prove to you that they do not deserve that break/respect it any longer.

On a lighter side, it is a wonderful and telling story about how wrong our "expectations" can be sometimes, and how that previous negativity on our part was never justified causing us to miss out on maybe a very good professional and personal relationship with a nice person.

[justmetoo]

I missed that class, too, Jorja! LOL

That's great, Persphone! I guess maybe his apparently dour expression might just be the "bitchy resting face"? Well, sounds like it turns out he's professional and probably more concerned with the well-being of his patients rather than their being. :)

[MissTee]

Cool story, Persephone. Of course, there is a remote possibility he's been grumpy because he hasn't been able to dress in a while.

[SharonDenise]

I'm going for a hip replacement soon. My orthopedic surgeon stated I would probably be in the hospital several days then switched to a rehab unit being as I am now widowed, alone and would be better off in such a situation. I nervously joked that I didn't think I could go that long without being able to wear something feminine. He responded with a nervous laugh but I don't know if he really understood what I meant. Honest, this is going to be a problem. I think I can go without a drink for two weeks but I hate not being able to wear something feminine for two weeks. I wear panties 24/7 and nightgowns to bed every night.

[CONSUELO]

That must have been a very satisfying. What a wonderful booster for you.

[Eryn]

One theory I have is that being transgendered makes us more interesting. That doctor sees dozens of people every day who are desperately trying to be normal, so someone who is a bit out of the envelope can be seen as a breath of fresh air.

I use the same medical group as Persephone and also have "Transgendered" as one of my medical conditions in the records. I find myself doing some occasional education (as in, "not all TG people are headed for surgery") but in general have been treated with respect and enthusiasm.

[Dana44]

Very nice, Persephone. Yes Doctors are typically pretty good. I know that many times I have been to the Doctor, they took really good care of me. My last doctor, a female who performed a complete diagnostic on me said that I was very special. I think she knew, however I was always there as a male. I think they can see more than we think.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Barb, He could've knocked you over with a broom straw.:daydreaming::hugs: