i can see the light......

[Megan G]

So Friday marked the first day of what I assumed would be four long days of difficult conversations. As I have posted about I am out to my family and a few close friends (females) and so far I have averaged a 50% acceptance rate with the casualties being on the family side.

The pressure of the GD has been slowly increasing for a while now and after a few conversations with my therapist I had come to the realization that I had to start coming out to more people so I made a list last week and classified them into two groups...

1. In person
2. Email
3. The rest will learn about it via a Facebook post.

So in the end I have 3 people that deserve to be told in person. All lifelong friends and all male. These have always been my closest friends and the 3 people that I stressed about the most. So yesterday I went over to friend #1's house to have the talk.

We have been lifelong friends, our parents all grew up together and him and I were fast friends all our lives. I was the best man in his wedding and godfather to his children. We did everything together for our 40 years of life so far. So needless to say I was very stressed out about coming out to him. He divorced his first wife who I was very close with and in fact she already knows about me and has been my biggest supporter along this journey, short of my wife.

So a long story short I had difficulties separating him from his new girlfriend and kids but eventually I managed to get him alone and dropped the bomb on him. He did not say much as I descibed how I had knew since I was very young that something was different about me and how I fought it, denied it, repressed it and hidden it for all my life. After talking with a few people here by PM I utilized their advice and balanced the bad with the good, how I had suffered internally but how I plan on living the best damn life possible from here on out.

In the end he said that he was shocked and had no idea. He also stressed that he would support me however he could and would stand behind me 110%. Then he tossed in a few jokes such as I was still allowed to go moose hunting but I could not wear a dress...lmao. I knew right then that all was going to be ok as that has always been his way of coping during a difficult conversation.

Today I was planning on doing another friend but he is out of town for the day so I plan on talking to him and friend #3 tomorrow.

Then Monday is an appointment with my family doctor in the morning to request a referral to CAMH in Toronto. Then followed by an appointment with my current endo at noon and then an appointment with my psychologist at 2.

So as the title says I can see the light at the end of the tunnel about coming out to everyone.

Megan

[Jamie M]

Congrats on coming out to your best friend. I'm so glad it went well , it must be such a relief. Your relationship with him sounds almost identical to my ( now unfortunately ex ) best friend. He too had split from his wife, who I also had as a marvelous supporter. He was also my best man and were god parents to each others children. That's where the similarity ended, he unfortunately couldn't deal with who I became and dropped me like a hot potato, even accusing me of being a risk to his daughter ! There's no reason at all to think that either of your other two friends you've yet to tell will be anything other than supportive. It's such a daunting prospect to finally tell these people that have been such a large part of your life and no matter how they take it, it will be a weight lifted of your shoulders just to be able to finally say out loud who you are. That light will only get brighter for you as time goes on. God forbid anyone does blink out of your new life, those that stay and the new people you'll meet will far outweigh them and you'll soon be blinded with light as your step out of that tunnel. So happy for you x

[Eringirl]

Hi Megan:
That is great, good for you! Sounds like you've got a few busy days ahead. Make sure you take some time for you to catch your breath!

I would be curious as to how your appointment with CAMH goes. I initially looked at there services, but Ottawa is closer, so started there. But may have to go to T.O. For healthcare to cover some costs.

Erin

[Megan G]

Erin,

I am sure that I will not be seeing anyone at CAMH for quite some time, their website says it is a 16-18 month wait from referral to initial appointment. I am asking my family doc to send off that referral on Monday. My wife is the one pushing for this for a couple of reasons, one to get the ball rolling due to wait time and 2nd and most importantly she does not trust my current endo due to some of his history, and neither do I...

Megan

[charlenesomeone]

Megan, thanks for a very positive and uplifting story, congrats on it going so well.
Hope the other two are the same.

[Nigella]

Sometimes we get ourselves in such a tizzy when debating who to tell and when. We are usually quite surprised when it is a non event.

Like most of society with a "secret", there will be good and bad reactions, we just have to learn to roll with the punches, grab the opportunities and get on with living our life, with or without those who have been there in the past.

It is good to see a positive post like this one, it shows that our life is not all doom and gloom :hugs:

[Rachel Smith]

So glad you will remain friends as support is so necessary. Me thinks moose hunting in a dress would be quite chilly to say the least.

[PretzelGirl]

Megan, I am sorry you have the non-acceptance on the family side. I hope that over time they will realize that it is still you and you are doing the best thing for yourself. Sometimes seeing the happiness and normality on the "other side" will show everyone that all is well. So keep as much contact as you can.

Now your story on your friend is great! I have a few friends that keep some pastimes that carry over from previous activities with friends. Weightlifting, hiking, hunting..... just watch the documentary on Kristen Beck and you see when weightlifts and shoots. So if you want to still do it, moose hunting would be cool with your friend. There are no molds!