Going out with the guys while dressed

[JenniferYager]

So has anyone gone out with male friends while dressed? I have not, and always wondered if it would be a stretch too far. Would you feel like you're on a date, or that your friend would see you differently?

[Kirsty Louise]

Hi Jennifer
I don’t think it would go too well for me going out dressed with my male friends knowing what they are like, it’s an interesting thought though.

[Princess Chantal]

I tend to if I have a desire to dress up. I don't change my interests or thoughts (change in mannerisms though) and the friends tend to treat me like the usual except sometimes replacing he with her

[Marcelle]

Hi Jennifer,

I have a group of friends some who happen to be couples and have always been invited to "boy's nights" at various houses. When I came out, I started getting invited to "girl's nights" at some of those same houses and have run in to my guy friends leaving (no boy's allowed). On other occasions with group events, I have been either boy or girl (it depends how I feel). It was a bit weird at first but now it is no issue. I was at a "guy's night" some time ago and one of my friends asked me "Charlene wanted me to ask if you are coming to girl's night next week?". On other occasions, I have had lunch/coffee with guy friends dressed . . . again a bit awkward at first but now no big issue.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

Not with my friends. One of my first nights out, some years ago, I hung out with a group of gay guys at a local bar. We got along just fine...of course the conversation began with curiosity about me, but soon moved on to other topics.

[CarlaWestin]

.......or that your friend would see you differently?

Understatement of the year!

[Krisi]

My friends gave me grief when I first got my ears pierced with little gold "manly" ball earrings. What do you think they would say about my boobs?

[Sweetalex]

I would love to go out with the guys dressed but don't know if I could...

Our group is half girls and the boys never go out with out the girls... The girls are a bit laddy and the boys are not that laddy :p its a good mix but a couple of the boys are big gossips. If I ever went out with the group I think half the town would be talking about it! If I went out with the girls and a couple of the boys it would be fine, I don't think they would care really.

Another problem I can think of is the Facebook photos, we all take loads of photos when we go out! But I couldn't put them on facebook, what would happen if someone tagged me in one??? Danger!

[bridget thronton]

I suspect we will all end up on someone's wall at some point in time. I would have an easier time going out with a group of girls then with one or two guys I think

[Chrissi]

My friends gave me grief when I first got my ears pierced with little gold "manly" ball earrings. What do you think they would say about my boobs?

"Uhm, can I feel them?"

[Krisi]

I don't think they would ask, just grab. And the butt as well.

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Jennifer,
The only times I have been out dressed with a friend it was a date and yes, he definitely saw me differently.
Jeri

[Angie G]

Not the guys I know. they are a it redneckish.Though I'd love to.:hugs:
Angie

[MichelleDevon]

"Uhm, can I feel them?"

This reminds me of an incident a few years ago. I was away on an in-service training course and there were seven of us staying at the same hotel. As was my custom when on such courses I always took a Michelle outfit with me and would go out as M to eat. So I did that on the night before the course began - no problem. On the first morning of the course we each introduced ourselves - don't think any of us knew the others previously and it transpired that all except one were staying at the same hotel - two men and 5 women. The other guy looked and me and said, "I was sitting in the bar last night, I didn't see you." (Teehee - he might have done, but a pound to a penny he wouldn't recognise me as the same person!!!)

As we finished the first day we had a discussion about whether to eat in the hotel or go out into town - settled on eating in. I had to go and collect my car which had been having a puncture repaired, came back and went for a quick swim. As I returned from the pool I met a couple of the others already in the bar and made some comment about wondering what to wear - "Whatever you're comfortable in", they said. Met a couple of the ladies as I went along the corridor to my room and made the same comment with a similar response...

OK, I thought, I know what I will be comfortable in...so a few minutes later I reappeared in the bar in cropped trousers, ankle boots, cowl necked sweater - nothing too "over the top" but their jaws hit the deck... They had obviously been discussing what I'd asked and wondering what I was going to turn up in but got nowhere even vaguely close. As we sat there with our drinks talking away the other guy leaned conspiratorially across the table and asked, "If you don't mind my asking, what do you put down your chest to make your, errrrr....boobs?" My response? "That's for me to know and you to find out!" Needless to say he didn't try to find out!!!

We had a great evening - it was the first time any of them had had the opportunity to talk to a crossdresser and they were interested, curious, supportive and we all enjoyed the evening. After very slow service for our meal we did then head into town to the pub for a couple of drinks... I did point out to the other guy why he might not have recognised me the previous evening - LOL.

It was a very entertaining start the next day, too - the course trainer already knew about Michelle so he was highly amused to hear the story when he asked us if we'd had a good evening the night before.

Michelle
xxx

[Nadine Spirit]

I have hung out with one of my male friends while dressed, though our wives were there also. Does that count? I think it is a bit different than the scenario you were suggesting Jennifer. But anyway, it was a bit odd at first, but eventually we all relaxed and now it is fairly normal for me to dress either way around them. In fact a couple of times I have shown up dressed as a guy they have been bummed as they were interested in seeing some cute fem outfit combo. Oh, and I suppose it may be a bit different as well as my male friend is bi-sexual and his wife knows it, and he has made it clear he thinks I am cute. So maybe that changes things a bit.

Oh and while I have not been dressed fully as a woman around him, I have hung out with another friend and his wife while wearing all female clothes. I just recently told him of my cross dressing, and he has not treated me any differently. In fact it got him and I talking about how stupid men's shorts are. They are NOT shorts, they are half-pants!

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a closet CD so that's NOT a possibilty.

But, I HAVE tried the opposite. Going out with my CD friends in drab. A bit uncomfortable for a number of us. But, a few seemed to have no problems either way!

[Lexi_83]

So has anyone gone out with male friends while dressed? I have not, and always wondered if it would be a stretch too far. Would you feel like you're on a date, or that your friend would see you differently?One male friend thought it was fun to go out to clubs on Halloween. Regular friends, not really.

[Persephone]

My story is probably pretty similar to Isha's. While I have many new friends who only know me as a woman I still hang with my old friends, dresssed either as a woman or a man, depending upon the circumstances.

This past Saturday night I was out en femme with one of my best guy friends and his son. The week before I'd been to lunch in guy mode with the same guy and his rat pack.

Yes, your friends do treat you differently as a woman than they treat you as a man. I'm very used to men holding doors for me but it is an odd feeling when your best male friend holds a door for you!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Sarah-RT]

I havent gone out, but ive had two of my male friends up for beers and to watch a film. I didnt,or wouldnt look at it as a date. the two friends were gay however, I couldnt really imagine myself going out or staying in with any of my other male friends, including my best friend, while dressed.

thats not to say they wouldnt be supportive or anything but i feel it would just change the dynamic altogether so id just prefer to avoid that

[carhill2mn]

I have gone to lunch several times with one man. At first he wanted to think of these times as "dates" and wanted to pursue things further. I was uncomfortable with this and decided that it was not a good idea. After a year or so, he contacted me again and we had lunch. It was fun again! He always is the "perfect gentleman" and treats me as a lady! We had lunch again a short time ago and again, it was fun.

[Kate Simmons]

I doubt I would act any differently. I could see that they may be more guarded though, seeing as how they are paling around with a "woman". That's just how guys are sometimes. :battingeyelashes::)

[justmetoo]

In fact it got him and I talking about how stupid men's shorts are. They are NOT shorts, they are half-pants!
And sometimes they are half off (as in how they are worn). :P

I haven't been out with male friends (not that I have many friends) while dressed en femme, but I certainly wouldn't view it as a date myself.

[cheryl reeves]

i don't have any friends period,,and dressing and going out with a male around here is asking for trouble one doesn't want...this isnt citylife but bfe life out here..when im out in publc dressed i carry myself in a way that says that woman is bad news//lol

[Adelaide]

I don't think my male friends would like it. None of them know. However, my female friends who know are very supportive.

[Donnagirl]

My social group is mostly couples from work or support agencies, all of whom know about Donna. Quite often, in the mixed environment the invite will clearly specify who is to attend... When it's a night out with the boys, boy me will attend, when it's a girls night out, Donna will go and so far I've not broken that understanding... I don't think my male friends would care that much, it's just some cannot help but laugh, giggle or snigger when the see Donna... It's nothing rude, it's just their response... Some of these guys are those that I have worked with for years, doing some major operational stuff... They know the macho boy and find it hard to see the girl.

[Lynn Marie]

Actually, I've been the male "date" a number of times for a few of my CD girlfriends! I have a nice male wardrobe, and I'm perfectly comfortable being out with tall girls with big hands and deep voices. My dates always go overboard making me the envy of place. I highly recommend the practice, it makes for a great birthday present.

[PaulaQ]

Yes, I've done that a couple of times. They ceased being my friends shortly thereafter, so I guess my transition didn't go over well. I can't really point too many fingers at them - my cis female friends also bailed on me, really all but one of them. I'm told:
"This is too hard - give us more time."
It's been a couple of years now, and I don't really think its going to get any better with them.

I don't guess I blame them entirely. I had crushes on a couple of them for a very long time. I never let on, but perhaps they picked up on it anyway. I think that made them terribly uncomfortable -- they still think of me as a dude, I guess. (A gay dude now, although in fact I am neither of those things.)

I think it'd have been easier on them had I died instead of transitioning. (Obviously much worse for me though!)

[Curiosity666]

This reminds me of an incident a few years ago. I was away on an in-service training course and there were seven of us staying at the same hotel. ...

Michelle
xxx

wow, that's an awesome story :) if I could guarantee that everyone I bump into would be that understanding I think "Lucy" would get much more exposure to the public (I.e., more then 0)

[MichelleDevon]

Thanks, Lucy...it is just about having the sheer brass neck to get out there and be YOU. When you have done it once it is easier next time...and by the time you done it 3 or 4 times you forget how nervous you used to be (actually no that's not true - you do remember and you cannot work out why you felt that way because it is actually surprisingly easy). It's a bit like the energy graph for a chemical reaction - for anything to happen you have to put in some energy (usually heat) - this is called the activation energy. Once you have enough in there it takes over and continues of its own accord - well, I think being "out" as your alter ego is exactly the same - you just need that activation energy and once you've got there no-one is going to stop you...

Pity Melbourne isn't a bit closer - I would happily help with that activation energy :) Seriously, people mostly don't give a toss...avoid schools at opening and closing times (groups of young people are wont to behave badly to show off to their friends) and you will find that it isn't nearly as bad as you fear it will be.

Looking forward to hearing about Lucy's adventures in Melbourne... ;)

Michelle
xxxx

[Curiosity666]

Looking forward to hearing about Lucy's adventures in Melbourne... ;)

xxxx

It's funny you mention that, I've recently promised myself that I'm going to go out at least once in the near future. :)

I really liked your analogy, I've got a background in physics so it made a lot of sense out of something I'm generally not very good at (describing emotions). I just want to add, I hope that like in a chemical reaction, once the activation energy is reached, the reaction releases more energy then was initially put into the system :)

[MichelleDevon]

In my case, Lucy, it certainly did that and more...

I hesitate to liken it to something quite as exothermic as the thermite reaction...perhaps more like aluminium and iodine...mix together, drip on water and it suddenly takes off amidst purple fumes of gaseous iodine (akin to the pink fog perhaps?!) Not keep on the smell of iodine but I love that amazing violet colour!!!

And all I can do is warn you that if you do at least once you are likely to want to do it soooooo many more times...

Good luck

Michelle
xxx

[Sissy_Michelle]

JenniferYager,

I haven't gone out fully dressed, however I do go out under dressed quite a lot. So to answer your question yes I have gone out under dressed with my male friends. I didn't perceive the outing as a "date", although I wouldn't have minded if they had. Very few people know me as Michelle, and that I underdress. The guys that do not know I underdress would probably see me differently, sadly. Even more sadly is I don't have many friends here in Richmond.

@--}---
Aloha Michelle

[Lexi_83]

I was invited up for a weekend by a male friend. Our romantic date on Saturday night? A college hockey game.....

[Clodagh]

It is an exciting thought, but I have never been dressed around a person i know.

[Beverley Sims]

have usually gone with a mixed group and the guys always knew who I was.

I always finished up with girls at the end of the night.

No biggie there.

[JenniferYager]

Funny you say that...last outing I went at from a training session I was at, I ended up with the girls (I wasn't dressed though).

[Suzanne F]

I do it on a regular basis since I live as me except when forced to make a male appearance for work. Most of my male friends have been supportive but not all. I think that over time they have become more comfortable with me and being out in public with me. This has been over the last year and I think it has helped them that I am always Suzanne. If I was sometimes Crossdressing it may have made the adjustment harder. If they are your friends in a real way they will make the effort.
Suzanne