karenpayneoregon
04-14-2015, 06:17 PM
This may be old news to some while others brand new. Something that helped me with coming out to others was a book called True Selves. I did not follow the book verbatim but instead took time to digest the information and put my own twist in.
First part was to use the analogy (does not matter if it's true in this contexts) of placing a frog into cold water and slowly heat it up instead of placing a frog in boiling water... The idea is for the first case it has time to digest what is going on without panicking while for the hot water is does panic. The same held true for me with coming out. Over a two year period I slowly made adjustments first in attire then with permanent cosmetics. By the time I made my announcement at work nobody was surprised and just prior to me announcing this in a group meeting many referred to me a Miss.
I think what helped solidify my coming out was keeping my talk short, ended with "I am still the same person inside" along with indicating I had two books on my desk which I left there for several weeks. Out of the several weeks the books came and went. Several of the people who read the books thanked me for allowing them to read these books along with me not for lack of a better term coming in one day as a completely different person and that the frog analogy really worked for them.
Another strong point in my favor was never overdressing as I have seen some in transitioning do where the clothing may allow them to feel better but puts others in an uneasy state. Since coming out then transitioning I have never dressed as I call it out of place of cisgender females and it has paid off as cisgender females told me many times they like my style of clothing and some (like yesterday which I wrote in my blog) even ask me where I shop.
People around me and others transitioning need to consider how others will react, take time to put together a sound plan that works for them and actually (as I did) stand in front of a mirror and rehearse so when the time came I spoke as intended, no fumbling around with words or with my body language.
First part was to use the analogy (does not matter if it's true in this contexts) of placing a frog into cold water and slowly heat it up instead of placing a frog in boiling water... The idea is for the first case it has time to digest what is going on without panicking while for the hot water is does panic. The same held true for me with coming out. Over a two year period I slowly made adjustments first in attire then with permanent cosmetics. By the time I made my announcement at work nobody was surprised and just prior to me announcing this in a group meeting many referred to me a Miss.
I think what helped solidify my coming out was keeping my talk short, ended with "I am still the same person inside" along with indicating I had two books on my desk which I left there for several weeks. Out of the several weeks the books came and went. Several of the people who read the books thanked me for allowing them to read these books along with me not for lack of a better term coming in one day as a completely different person and that the frog analogy really worked for them.
Another strong point in my favor was never overdressing as I have seen some in transitioning do where the clothing may allow them to feel better but puts others in an uneasy state. Since coming out then transitioning I have never dressed as I call it out of place of cisgender females and it has paid off as cisgender females told me many times they like my style of clothing and some (like yesterday which I wrote in my blog) even ask me where I shop.
People around me and others transitioning need to consider how others will react, take time to put together a sound plan that works for them and actually (as I did) stand in front of a mirror and rehearse so when the time came I spoke as intended, no fumbling around with words or with my body language.