Very insecure about my face (feedback needed)

[ilianar17]

The face is possibly the most difficult part of your body to pass as female is what I've managed to understand from my experience (which is not that big)
I got up this morning, there was nobody at home, so first thing I thought was "practice makeup". So I did. I put on some very light makeup (I'm still bad at it), my wig and a couple accessories just to see if my face is barely resembling the XX chromosome based ones .. lol.

Seeing myself in the mirror afterwards, besides all the wonderful feelings I have deep insecurities and doubts.
I really need your opinion on this look ladies and feedback is MUCH appreciated!! Don't hesitate to point out the negatives. I gave it a lot of thought about posting it on this forum.
I picked out the best selfie, knowing I should be actually smiling.

Anyways, here it goes:

[Joanncdnj]

Hi.. In my honest opinion, you can easily blend into a setting! You are fortunate to have so much support at a
young age. Be confident and careful at the same time. Practice and have fun doing it!

[Kate Simmons]

I think you look pretty good Hon. Perhaps thin brows out a bit and use blush, foundation contouring to draw attention to that. Sometimes we are too close to things and don't do ourselves justice.:battingeyelashes::)

[karenpayneoregon]

Part of blending in when out is confidence and body language which some don't think about. Believing in yourself as female goes along way. In regards to makeup, if you felt comfortable, go to someplace like Macy's and have one of the sales person help you out with what would work for you rather than simply experimenting as they are professionals and usually know what they are doing as they want repeat business so it's in their best interest to help you. The main thing is getting will to go out and do this as this is not easy if you have never done this before. Any ways I believe you are off to a good start.

[Laura912]

Agree with others. Your smooth complexion is an asset.

[BillieAnneJean]

Stop worrying. You look wonderful.

[Pat]

Your face is fine. I wish I had your face shape. Your eyebrows are a little thick, but that's not a deal-breaker. My personal feeling is that with your youth and the face shape you have, you want to get the hair away from the sides of your face -- you don't need the framing. If you pull it back or get a shorter wig with bangs you'll look more fem. Don't spend money on it yet -- go to the TAAZ site (taaz.com) site and play around in their makeup simulator. They'll let you add wigs and style them, add makeup etc. In terms of makeup, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick are key. Foundation, eyeshadow and contouring are frosting. But in terms of a truly fem look, the key is attitude/confidence. All personal opinion, of course.

[Natalie cupcake]

Better makeup comes with practice. It's hard to believe now but one day when your doing your makeup it will come together like you want. I think you have a good start girl! Keep trying you will get the look you want. Just believe in yourself!!:battingeyelashes:

[Welshgirl]

Wow, I wish I had eyes that were as big , dark and lovely as yours! (I say that as a GG)

I'm sure you have heard this before, but in the world of makeup when trying to pass, less is more. You did the right thing by going for very light makeup as a first try, because this is the look that most girls want to achieve. If your eyeshadow is too bold or your lipstick too bright you will draw attention, and not necessarily in the way you want. You would be amazed how much time and effort some women put into making it look as if they are not wearing any make up!

Structurally, the only thing I would change is the eyebrows. There are plenty of youtube tutorials, or you can just find images of ladies' faces and work from those. Clearly you aren't going to go for a very thin arched brow unless you are out in your home life, but if you look for 'low brow' (Demi Moore has these, for example), then I suspect you will find that you can tweak your own to look more feminine while not losing the masculine edge.

I am really not the person to advise on makeup techniques, as I don't like wearing the stuff, but if you can spend a little time on the internet then you will learn a great deal in a short time.

I am looking forward to seeing the results of your next attempts, and you are shaping up to having a very pretty face.

[emma-louise]

Looking at your pic you have nothing to worry about you look amazing and would have no problem passing as a female xx

[Andy66]

You look cute, but theres always room for improvement. I think you will like what you see more and more as you practice. :)

[Jenniferathome]

Ilianar, I will tell you something that will save you lots of anxiety. Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman. Despite the well intended encouragement of others on this "support" forum, what I wrote is reality. We are very different in more than just our faces. If you are anxious about going out in public, dress to blend in, comb your wig, and own it.

Look at this thread and read the responses: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?226746-Owning-it-What-does-it-mean

The thread above is about NOT caring what the world thinks. It is very freeing.

Have fun,

Jen

[ilianar17]

Thank you all for your kind words, feedback and advice. :) I know the brows need some work and I'm on top of it!

Jennie, I've tried multiple applications and sites that "add makeup" to a picture but I'm seriously tired of doing it. The difference between real make up and digital is just very big at least for my face and I find it kind of pointless. Thanks though!

Welshgirl, I have seen many crossdressers literally cake up their faces and add such a vast array of colours. It looks unreal and sometimes disgusting. Too much of anything on one's appearance is a no-no. Like you said less is more. But "less" has to be done right and that requires hours behind a mirror (I'm all for that! :D ). Thanks for the tips!

Jennifer, I'm having a bit of trouble believing the "Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman". There are many cases, rare but real, of crossdressers that are (visually) passing as women with an A+. I want to reveal my female side as best I can, so I can experience it and actually decide whether I want to stay with that side biologically as well. This is something that has been troubling me for years. Thanks for your view on this subject though, it helps understand the full picture of our crossdressers scene.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey girl i think you are going to do great....i DO agree with what Jenniferathome says too...dress to blend & have fun.., IMO ( for what its worth) invest in a quality wig, and maybe do your best to femme the brows up a touch, bring out your lashes a bit with mascara, and your gunna be golden !! good luck girl xoxo you are blessed with alot of good qualities and you still have your youth....enjoy yourself...xoxo

[Teresa]

Ilianar,
First point is gradually thin and shape your brows.
The photo gives the classic problem with smart phones, too close to the face, making the nose and chin look too big, the hair close to the face and straight then makes your face look too long and thin ! If you have a shorter wig with more volume at the sides, and apply blusher carefully your face will look fuller and appear more feminine.
Try and get pictures with a longer lens, you'll see a big difference !

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Ilianar,

You have really lovely eyes- be more daring with the make up, especially eye liner and you would look much prettier. Obviously shaping your eyebrows would make a huge difference too.

I am certain that with more practice you will be amazed how much more feminine you can seem.

Believe me- most of us wish we had your raw assets to work with!

[MissusMeagan]

Ilianar, You have a lovely face! As another GG, I agree with @Welshgirl - less is more so keep that in mind while making adjustments. For example, I also agree with the advice of lightly thinning and shaping your brows, but thick brows are in so you really don't need to go too far.

Also, I suggest mascara to play up your lovely eyes. And a nude or light coral lip might work really well with your coloring, although I suggest staying away from anything super bold because of your pretty lighter complexion and dark wig.

Keep practicing - you're doing great!

[meganmartin]

I think many of us are jealous of the face shape, size and young skin.
You should not have any problems, there has been lots of good suggestions for you here.

You look good to me sis...rock on!

[Sissy Jane]

I think you look amazing! I have tried makeup twice with pretty poor results - need a lot more practice! I applaud you for posting a photo - maybe I'll get up enough nerve to do the same!

- Jane

[cheryl reeves]

you should not worry how you look,ive known gg's who looked male..

[michelleddg]

Hi Ilianar, holy moly are you kidding me? You've got it all to be drop dead gorgeous! Really, really, pretty. If you have the resources, the way to prove this to yourself is to get a professional makeover. Don't know about the specifics in Greece, but guessing you can sort something out at a makeup counter at the mall or check the internet for makeup artists in your area. You will get to see your ultimate potential which will alleviate all doubts about your beauty, you will pick up loads of great tips and tricks specific to you, you will have a blast, and you will look gorgeous for a day.

If that's not an alternative, something you might want to play with is the old glue stick trick for your eyebrows. You can block them out completely or, something I like, take out the bottom half or so and leave a thin, feminine arch. Takes practice, but fun and very effective.

Tons of good videos out there, here's one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7Q3MbTV8BY

Good luck, have fun! Hugs, Michelle

[Nadine Spirit]

Jennifer, I'm having a bit of trouble believing the "Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman". There are many cases, rare but real, of crossdressers that are (visually) passing as women with an A+. I want to reveal my female side as best I can, so I can experience it and actually decide whether I want to stay with that side biologically as well. This is something that has been troubling me for years. Thanks for your view on this subject though, it helps understand the full picture of our crossdressers scene.

This thought of yours, that if you just do something different, or this way or that way, and then you will appear as visually passing as a woman, because some men can, it will haunt you. I believe in trial and error to achieve the best look that we can, but no matter how good I have gotten at it over the years, Jennifer is right. Honestly, I think that many of us can take some great pictures, but a picture is not a snapshot of reality. Photographs are easily manipulated, (which btw, is because in any given photo session I generally take about 100 shots, and I pick about 2 or 3 I think look okay in, oh and I have been working on this for about 30 years, with the last 10 focusing specifically on my public appearance and photos) real life, not so much. My clothing has gotten better, my makeup has gotten better, my wigs have gotten better and really I think the best I do in the real world is being able to pass the glance test.

If you don't know, the glance test would be when someone looks at you for about a half second as they are just looking around the world. Face to face, maybe the best I get is about 25% of the people questioning if maybe I might be a woman. But more than likely the vast majority of people know I am a guy, or think maybe I am a guy who is in the process of transitioning. I would suppose that most of the folks you see passing with an A+ are probably not just casual cross dressers. They are more than likely folks who have begun the process of transitioning and have had some sort of medical assistance like hormones or surgeries.

But really, none of this matters. You say you want to "experience it." From my experience you can do that without passing with an A+. Again, I think I can do pretty well in a photo but in real life the vast majority of people know that I am a guy, but they treat me as how I am presenting. They don't look at me, and say, oh well I won't treat you like a woman, because I know you are just a dude in a dress. 99.999% of people I have ever interacted with have treated me with dignity and respect.

[Jenniferathome]

...They don't look at me, and say, oh well I won't treat you like a woman, because I know you are just a dude in a dress. 99.999% of people I have ever interacted with have treated me with dignity and respect.

I'll second that!

[DonnaT]

Shape the eyebrows to remove the boxy look.

Use foundation makeup of two different colors to contour the face. Especially the nose. Search youtube for - makeup to make your nose look smaller-.

[Persephone]

You look terrific! Beautiful facial shape and bone structure, terrific eyes!

I think your eyebrows look fine. Most young women have fairly bold eyebrows these days. Take a look at photos of young movie stars.

There are four things I would suggest you work on -- Most important, SMILE! A relaxed woman's smile will overcome nearly anything. Second, your hair might need a bit of work, but, then again, I'm not sure what young women in your part of the world are doing with their hair these days. Third, from a photo it is impossible to tell your posture and how you sit and move. I suspect they are good, but that is something that we all need to practice until it becomes perfectly natural. And Fourth, believe in yourself. Ultimately, confidence is what makes all the difference.

I believe it is lack of confidence that makes many of those who say "You can never pass" into failures. Rather than work on their appearance and their passing skills they take the easy road, throw up their hands and say it is impossible. That way they don't have to be responsible for their own failures, they are just victims. And they want you to think that way too because if you do pass then you only highlight their failure.

You look lovely. You have the gifts that can enable you to enjoy this crazy life. Now go for the confidence and the smile!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Jenniferathome]

.. There are many cases, rare but real, ...

Well, do you see the contradiction in your own words? If you read the thread I pasted earlier, you can understand that "passing" is hard to define anyway, but what matters is you feeling confident in what you are doing. My comment to you is really about having the experience of going out with realistic expectations. Reality does not match our aspirations and that's ok.

If you really want to know how hard this goal is, do a search on this site about the women who have transitioned or are living full time as woman and still find it hard to "pass" 100% of the time.

[Zylia]

Your makeup is way too subtle, it's practically unnoticeable in your picture. In my personal opinion, light makeup never works for us girls. We really need all the help we can get. The trick is to not make it look like you have three layers of makeup on when you actually have.

Fairly obvious male cues are your brows (as half of us already mentioned), your nose and your relatively thin lips, especially the upper lip. With some better makeup skills, you can emphasise and deemphasise certain features. Your eyes are nice and dark, so you definitely have a head start with those.

[Beverley Sims]

Illinar,
A little more shaping of the eyebrows is all that is needed.
You have a nice unblemished face and only a little makeup would be necessary.

[ilianar17]

Thanks to all of you for the wonderful replies, I feel already more confident being the first time I ever get feedback for this. I don't have the guts yet to go to a makeup store and just sit there, but I think I know of someone who can help. I always hated my nose, crossdressing or not. Trust me, I really tried loving it but I can't. I've considered a nosejob probably a billion times but I'm very afraid to enter this whole process (announcing it, paying for it, what the actual results will be, etc.).

Jennifer & Nadine, I really don't have anything to contradict then. You girls obviously know way more than me. I just feel ultra optimistic about it and I'm basing my views a lot on what others say. I know I shouldn't, but what do you expect from an 18 year old? For me, other people's opinion is still a big motive, not a drawback and certainly not a "feature" of my surroundings I shouldn't pay attention to. I won't succumb to those opinions though that's for sure.

[TinaZ]

First, you are lovely and already have a nice androgynous look, so you're ahead of the game.

But in my opinion, an easier way to describe this entire issue is "How to look woman-like" rather than, "How to look like a woman."

We can pluck eyebrows and do all kinds of neat makeup tricks to appear woman-like, and sometimes to astounding effect! The other way (like a woman) usually involves facial surgery, which is not an option for most people.

You're getting some great advice here about doing the work to appear more woman-like, owning that attitude and getting out there. Take that advice to heart, because it's absolutely right!

[Nadya]

You look pretty good to me. I agree with others by saying if you want to look more feminine, try it with tricks with makeup. Blush and contouring can soften features. Thinning the eyebrows is something I need to do but it's a balance I need to strike as I often go out in drab and don't want them too feminine for that time. Good luck!

[Sammy777]

Before needlessly worrying about the dreaded "Do I pass?" you have to realize there is more to it then just a simple yes or no.

There are four basic levels of "Passing" you will fall into and experience from people in general.
This is out in everyday life, NOT in TG/CD friendly Clubs, support groups and the like.

1) You. Are. A. Girl. Period. [Also known as "going stealth" to TSs]
These are usually TS girls who transitioned as teenagers and the lucky "older" lol, ones like Andreja Pejic (https://www.google.com/search?q=andrej+pejic) who looked like girls even before transitioning.

2) Hooray! You Pass, pretty much. Just don't be surprised if you're still noticed, or "clocked"
95% of the time you are seen, greeted, and treated as a girl.
Some may take a second longer look but most will just dismiss it.
The ones that can tell will usually not say anything, except for that one person that will start a convo with something like "Hi, you look great, now I'm going to tell you how I "figured it out" .... lol.

3) Acceptance [This is most times, but is hard [almost impossible] to differentiate from #2 above]
Again 95% of the time you are seen, greeted, and treated as a girl.
You pass, at distance. Pretty much pass up close and personal.
These people know you are not a girl, but realize [and appreciate] that you're doing a pretty damn good job of it.
They take you gender at face value. Meaning if you look like a girl = you get treated like one.

4) Tolerance [This one tends to get confused with #3 and sometimes even #2]
Wow you look really good! For a guy in a dress that is.
Basically = You are not passing to these people, at all. But, you are doing your best to look the part.
At this level, you are still "mostly" treated like a girl, but don't be surprised if a few male pronouns pop out.
These people most likely do NOT like or want to understand you but also don't want to out themselves as A-Holes by calling you out. They will Miss and Maam you ... to your face at least.


I think your personal looks have been covered well enough, brows, nose contouring, light make-up, ect.
You said you didn't like your nose, well, not every girl has a pencil thin cute little button nose. :)

[ReineD]

To the OP, enjoy your youth! I think you are very attractive! I can't make a comment about the degree of passing though, not from a picture. I'd have to see you in real life, at all angles and life-sized.



...They don't look at me, and say, oh well I won't treat you like a woman, because I know you are just a dude in a dress. 99.999% of people I have ever interacted with have treated me with dignity and respect.
I'll second that!

When my SO and I go out together, people treat us with respect too. By this I mean that they don't make any reference to the fact that they know my SO is a genetic male. They make no comments about it and it is business as usual just as it would be if my SO were in guy mode.

But you also mention "treat you like a woman". Other than an occasional "ma'am", "miss", or "what would you ladies want" from a SA or waitress (I always took it they were humoring us), what does "treat you like a woman" mean? How are they treating you different in girl-mode than in guy-mode?

I ask, because I have not experienced presenting in any other mode than what I am. Are guys treated differently? When I'm at Starbucks, for example, from my perspective the guy standing in line ahead of me doesn't get treated any differently than I do. Hence my question.

To anyone who cares to respond, thanks in advance for the explanation.

[abby054]

. ...In regards to makeup, if you felt comfortable, go to someplace like Macy's and have one of the sales person help you out with what would work for you rather than simply experimenting as they are professionals and usually know what they are doing as they want repeat business so it's in their best interest to help you. The main thing is getting will to go out and do this as this is not easy if you have never done this before...

Getting help from those who do makeup for a living is well worth it. The last time that I was in Boise, last September, I went to the Macy's makeup counters in drab. I picked out one of the SAs who obviously knew what she was doing. She found me a new foundation that works really well and taught me how to use it. Well worth the extra money I paid her. Yes...using my face, with her mirror, with the correct makeup brushes, me in drab. But the best part was watching the reaction of the other customers and the occasional husband. Remember that this is Boise, a city that, except for one small neighborhood on its north side, makes most of the Southern US look pretty liberal. That was worth the price of the makeup alone.

[EricaCD]

Hi! I almost never post here anymore (hello friends from years ago!), and honestly don't know why I felt like I should comment here. But what the heck... be warned, I am candid.

Good news: the basics are all good. Also I would not worry about your nose. It's prominent but not prominently male. Leave it alone. Light touch on the makeup is definitely right for you.

Brows have already been discussed so I won't add anything.

You've got a great chin and jawline, but you also have very long cheeks. I'd suggest a very slightly emphasized blush across the face from ear to about an inch from the nose, slightly below the top of your cheekbone. You won't need much but what you want is a bit of horizontal color to break up that long vertical line between the eyes and the lips.

Lips will be tricky. The lower is lovely but the upper is really thin. I'd suggest using a matching lipliner pencil and drawing it JUST SLIGHTLY outside the natural line of your lip. You've got to be careful because you can easily get into drag territory here. This is a place where even a couple millimeters added depth will get you enough extra fullness. I'd also suggest going with a slightly more robust lipstick than might otherwise be right for a given occasion. You'll look a little pouty but that's ok.

You need a different wig; that one does not suit you in the slightest. Until you get a different one, bring the hair on the left side of your head (right side of the photograph) down a little bit until it's slightly covering your left eye. The sharp cut of the hair over to the side looks like a man's parted hair.

Good luck!

[sara.rafaela]

You have a lot of potential. I think with. The right technique you could totally pass. There are some videos on you tube about contouring. Try that. It would do the trick.

[Angie G]

I think you have a good girl look going. Practice with the makeup and I think you look could be a great look.:hugs:
Angie

[kkaye]

You are very fortunate. With a face like yours. You can go natural unless your just want to get a certain look. I got the kind of face that required professional advice. I had to find a face, I liked and make it perfect with a lot of practice. Always take pictures. It will help you improve.

[Karolyn]

You look naturally beautiful. You have that very natural feminine look. In my opinion, there is only one thing to improve, the eyebrows.

Do not hesitate to get eyebrow waxing at a nail salon. It is cheap, not very painful, and fast. The results are incredible. And surprisingly, absolutely nobody will notice when in guy mode. Do not go crazy the first time, just thin them a bit at a time (like 25 percents). To get a feminine look, I did 3 visits at the salon, each 4 weeks apart.

The other advice is to use a bit of blush. It gives that instant feminine look, but be careful, just a little bit. Too much, and it will look bad. Also, under the round part of the cheek, in a straight line towards the ears, and not on that round part directly (it is more vintage looking).

Good luck, you are on a very good path.

[Jenniferathome]

To ...what does "treat you like a woman" mean? How are they treating you different in girl-mode than in guy-mode?...

To anyone who cares to respond, thanks in advance for the explanation.

hi Reine, I'm with you. The only other difference I can say exists other than "Miss" or "Ma'am." Is having doors opened for you or chairs pulled out from the table. Not much of a difference

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm with the others here who believe you have less to worry about than you think. My nose is my biggest complaint, but there are makeup techniques that can help a little with that, but the big thing is using your makeup to attract attention to other features. Emphasize your eyes and cheeks and lips and your nose begins to fade in importance. Erika's advice is solid. I believe a different wig or hair style would help frame your face in a very positive way. It's hard to tell from the photo you use, but it looks like you have a thinner frame and that helps. We all know if you manage to show a bit of figure, people look at your face later, so once you begin to consider the entire package, the nose becomes just a very minor aspect.

Keep working at it and remember the more you practice the better you get and the more comfortable you become with who you see in the mirror.

[Tracii G]

Make up takes lots of practice so keep at it.
One thing I will stress take care of your wigs and they will look good for a long time.
In your pic the wig is a mess and needs a good combing out.
I'm not trying to be mean just honest in hopes it will help you in some way.
A nice well kept wig and wearing it properly is 75% of your presentation IMO.

[Lily Catherine]

You have absolutely nothing to worry about re. your facial features - nothing would give you away easily at all. Including your nose. Perhaps a better wig would be good however. Just go out and own it as soon as you feel ready.

[GiaDivine]

Hi Hun. I agree with everyone here - you are young and gorgeous! Makeup and our faces are the hardest part to deal with, and your body is clearly this and sexy. But YouTube really is a wealth of information. Drag queens know everything and whilst they do wear a thick layer of cake you will learn everything you need to know about make up - like choosing the right foundation. That is the first mistake we girls make, choosing a foundation that is too light or too dark! Contouring! Covering your beard, shaving. There is a guy called Wyatt Smith, look for his Ken make-up tutorial, it is a master class is skin tone. Wayne Goss has tutorials for men wearing makeup, not drag or crossdressing, but you will learn a lot about creating a natural male skin tone. And most importantly have fun grll. You are young and setting out on a great and complicated journey, enjoy it!!