Is it supposed to be this easy?

[MsVal]

I must be blessed, or exceptionally fortunate. It's not supposed to be this easy, is it?

Just a couple of anecdotes from the life of MsVal.

A couple weeks ago I was in JC Penny, exchanging something for my wife. I was dressed, but pretty casually, guy shoes, women's jeans and t-shirt, and guy jacket. I was wearing minimum makeup, just a little foundation and very light lipstick.

I had a little time to spare so after the exchange I browsed the women's section; not buying, just looking. On my way out I stopped into the Sephora store where an EXTREMELY bubbly sales associate welcomed me by asking if I was looking for some new lipstick or foundation. I said no, but wanted some information on how to book a makeover. I told her I was transgender and asked if they served people like me. She said "Oh, yeah, we've got a bunch of them that are regular customers. When would you like to come in?"


A few days ago I was dressed a bit better; business casual and appropriate makeup when I went to Kohl's to get some things for an upcoming Girls Night Out. Yes, I did pause a bit before getting out of my car. <grin> I took a phone call.

At Kohl's I found several nice dresses on the sale racks, including one with no price tag. I walked over to a Sales Associate and asked her to please check the price. She did so without batting an eye. We struck up a brief conversation and I asked if I could try them on. I never said I was transgender, she never asked, but was not at all surprised by my request. When I was done trying them, and found the two I wanted to buy, I made my way to the jewelry section where the Sherry, the SA was a delight. We talked about what things went well together, and even exchanged information about resale stores.

I took the dresses, jewelry, and undergarments to the checkout and chatted a bit with the cashier while she rang them up. (she's been in retail 20+ years and loves it). As we completed the transaction she said that she hopes my wife likes them. I told her that they were for me, and without missing a beat she said that I would look good in them.

Is it supposed to be this easy?

Best wishes
MsVal

[Dana does shopping]

Yes. Yes it is.

[AngelaYVR]

Are trying to jinx yourself? Just enjoy it!
And did you book the makeover?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I must be blessed, or exceptionally fortunate. It's not supposed to be this easy, is it?

Yes, yes it is supposed to be that easy. And it's been that easy for years now.


On my way out I stopped into the Sephora store where an EXTREMELY bubbly sales associate welcomed me by asking if I was looking for some new lipstick or foundation. I said no, but wanted some information on how to book a makeover. I told her I was transgender and asked if they served people like me.

Of course they serve transgendered people, they have been doing so for YEARS. Our money is as good as anyone elses. Haven't you seen the posts from people getting Sephora/MAC/Ulta/whatever makeovers?

Veronica

[justmetoo]

yes, it is. (in reality it isn't always, but those cases are the exceptions and getting rarer)

[donnalee]

Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you. In a sane society, it can and should be this easy.

[RADER]

With all your good luck, I would go out and buy a lottery ticket. lol
Rader

[Kevyn53]

It's supposed to be like that always. It doesn't happen like that sometimes, but it's nice when it does. Revel in it.

[suzanne]

You betcha it's supposed to be that easy. Even better news is that it will get even better going forward. I think we are just now emerging from the dark ages, in which everyone had to slavishly conform to the destiny dictated by their genitalia. Your experience is the same as mine. I go into any women's clothing store and try on anything that catches my interest. (One qualifier is that I'm a size 18-20, so there's a lot of stores I don't bother with) The SA's always treat me the same matter of fact way: I am a customer no less than anyone else. Period. In a few cherished stores, they treat me like a friend or family member. I hope you continue having more experiences like that.

[ReineD]

Yes, it is that easy, especially when it comes to dealing with SAs! They want sales and restaurant personnel want good tips! :)

They are always polite to us, and some are downright friendly. They will not risk offending you because they don't want to lose a customer. It's a different story with the other patrons though. We get mixed reactions from them.

[Rachelakld]

yes, It's that easy, and so much fun for me also.

[Marcelle]

Hi Val,

You have discovered what many have done so in the past . . . while it can be daunting, it is easy and only gets easier.

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

Yes, it's easy, even in places like Tulsa, OK, or Dallas, TX - two states that overall don't like transgender people very much. However, even transphobia isn't powerful enough to overcome the almighty dollar.

BTW, it's much easier to shop for women's clothes when you are presenting as a woman.

[Lily Catherine]

It definitely is. Either that or every staff member I have interacted with were very polite and professional. And I think a lot gave me away, including the fact that I spoke with a stutter. I am a returning busybody of sorts to one store specialising in formal wear, and the SAs definitely know me already (as the "My God, that's so pretty" guy, hopefully not). No eyebrows raised so far, thank goodness.

[MichelleDevon]

I have to agree with other respondents here...yes, it really is that easy.

I have been shopping for Michelle for 8 years or so, with increasing confidence - sometimes as Stephen , sometimes (and much preferably) as Michelle and I think I can say with total honesty that I have never had a bad experience in any shop. The only slight caveat to that was one occasion where I wanted to try on but there was a guy sitting just outside the changing area waiting for his wife/girlfriend and he really did not look like the sort of guy who could be relied upon not to make some sort of derogatory remark about another guy going into the ladies fitting rooms to try on a dress. That was a few years ago and I think I would be less concerned these days.

I sometimes think we get BETTER service, particularly from female SAs, because they assume that, being male, we are not going to be as good at choosing what works or what is good. I have had some really delightful experiences when out clothes shopping and cosmetics shopping; including in the changing area where I often seek opinions from other customers - not infrequently offered without request - I love the repartee and the shared enjoyment of choosing nice clothes.

Dammit, I just LOVE clothes shopping, especially for Michelle - how un-manlike is that? Never been "outshopped" by a GG yet!!!

Michelle
xxx

[Beverley Sims]

A chatty, cheery disposition goes "all" the way to making it easy.

If you encounter some dark SA's just back off and find the ones that are smiling. :)

[Jorja]

No, it is not supposed to be that easy! You are supposed to get insulted and totally degraded right there in public. Oh wait, this isn't the 1970s.... whew, I had a flash back.

Yes, it is really that easy these days.

[Mark/Rebecca]

The second to last time I was in Kohls, the cashier was visibly upset with me. I just bought a couple of things (a 3 pack of briefs and a pair of jeans). She was nervous to the point that she was repeating herself and her voice was wavering. I wondered if she was going to stop the transaction. I was really hurt by it and felt like I was stabbed in the heart. How could my wanting to be more like her be so upsetting to her? Ultimately I dismissed it and have had a good experience at the same location since.

[DeeDeeB]

Yes, that is how the world is supposed to work. I've had some interesting encounters with people I know who didn't know about Dee, however. All good so far.

Dee :fairy1:

[Sheila11]

I was just reminding my self of this last night, as I sat in my car outside a restaurant wondering why I all the sudden had the jitters.

It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy.

I go out dressed quite often, but every once in a while I get in my own way. Self doubt, man in a dress.

It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy.

I got out of the car, walked into the restaurant, was greeted warmly, treated with smiles and respect, and had an enjoyable dinner.

It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy. It is easy.

[pamela7]

maybe there's been a change in the stores' personnel strategy? I've noticed increasingly open Gay SO's the last few months, as if a bigger closet door has opened. I was wearing all-ladies clothing but no wig/make-up in Next earlier this week, and bought a top for me, one for welshgirl and a dress she can cut down to a lovely summer skirt for me, and the SO's were friendly, batting no eyelids at all. In the non-clothing stores it was the same acceptance.

[Kirsty Louise]

Yes it is supposed to be that easy. People should be able to dress how they want to

[Jodi]

Yes it is that easy, and I mostly shop for femme things while dressed as a guy.

Jodi

[Eryn]

I have found that it really is that easy, but it took me years to figure that out!

I'm glad that your experience was so much quicker!

[CONSUELO]

Yes indeed it can be that easy. Most SA's that I encounter are very helpful and if you are pleasant to them they will be in return. You mention that you struck up a friendly conversation with each of the SA's you encountered and that probably affected their pleasant treatment of you. Give and you shall receive.

[Tracii G]

Val yes it is just that easy.
Be kind, respectful and pleasant thats all it takes.

[flatlander_48]

Prepare for the worst,
Expect the best.

The reality is somewhere between those poles...

DeeAnn

[Nadine Spirit]

I must be blessed, or exceptionally fortunate. It's not supposed to be this easy, is it?

Is it supposed to be this easy?



Yes it is supposed to be that easy. Why would it not be? You have money, they have products. From my experience most businesses really want money.

[Teresa]

Val,
It's so good that you're enjoying your dressing so much, if you're that open and pleasant with people they will usually respond in a friendly and helpful way !
I've never had any problems but I still try and shop in another town, meeting the wrong person could so easily destroy what you have built up !

[JenniferYager]

Yup, a lot of people don't care. You being a pleasant person makes a bigger difference than what you wear.