"What's stopping you?"

[Dianne S]

So... I had my transition to 24x7 all worked out... send in the name change and when I get it back, announce at work.

But my ex is being uncooperative---where I live, she has to sign a form saying she was notified of the name change since we're not divorced yet. And her not signing will delay me by 30 days, plus another 60 or so for the name change process.

Meanwhile, my family and friends are saying "What are you waiting for? What's stopping you?" and finally I realized.

Nothing.

I'm out to everyone now except work. I've changed my Facebook name.

And tomorrow I disclose at work. I'm off Friday, so Monday I'm at work as Dianne and will be 24x7.

Apprehensive and excited...

[MsVal]

... and thus you have removed her power to influence your transition

Good for you!

Best wishes
MsVal

[Lexi_83]

All the best!

[Eringirl]

Where there's a Dianne, there's a way ! ;). Good for you. So looks like you are ready to go. I am sure it will go well.

Here's to your success.

Erin

[PretzelGirl]

We all remember the day. Attack it! I didn't hesitate in the parking lot. I got out of the car and hustled in because it is what I wanted. Go right to it! I wish you a wonderful experience.

[Karolyn]

Congratulations Dianne!

That is a very exciting moment. Your first day at work will be scary during the first few minutes, but after that you will wish you did it earlier ;)

Good luck for coming out tomorrow and for your first day Monday!

[charlenesomeone]

Good luck Dianne and all the best.

[PaulaQ]

You will feel so much better when the old name is behind you!

[I Am Paula]

On walking into work that first day-
Check that you are not dragging toilet paper from your shoe.
Lock briefcase, so it cannot fall open in elevator.
Check that skirt is not tucked into underwear at the back.
Check lid on coffee is secure.

After that it's easy. The only real difference I found the first day, is that a lot of people 'dropped by' to see me. The Principal of the school, in eight years, had never popped his head in to say hello before. Curiosity.

Go knock'em dead girl.

[Lexi_83]

On walking into work that first day-
Check that you are not dragging toilet paper from your shoe.////

Go knock'em dead girl.LOL! "Words to live by."

[Dianne S]

So here I am 30 minutes from the meeting with my employees and nervous as hell.... eeeeeek!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

wow!!! give yourself a big hug and a big pat on the back!!!

you deserve it!

[Dianne S]

I had the meeting with my employees. It lasted all of 15 minutes.

Everyone was extremely shocked (well, except for my business partner who
has known since January) but basically supportive. I received a couple
of private messages of support afterwards.

I work in a very male-dominated industry and my company has only one other
female employee, so that added to my nervousness. But so far, everyone
seems OK. We'll see what happens Monday when I show up in a skirt.

Tuesday, of course, it's back to jeans and t-shirts. Don't want to spoil everyone.

[Suzanne F]

Way to go Dianne! I am consumed thinking about this part of my journey. I appreciate what you have done today!
Suzanne

[Chrissi]

Congratulations Dianne! Very brave and wonderful. big hugs
Chrissi

[karenpayneoregon]

In regards to ex's, I was wondering if my ex would have to sign but all that was required was to leave the form on the bulletin board of the court house for two weeks, nothing was ever mentioned about a spouse requirement to sign off on my name change.

[Rachel Smith]

A big day for you. I am happy to hear it all went well. Continued success.

[jules]

congratulations .I wish you all the best:)

hugs
julie

[Dianne S]

karenpayneoregon, I can change my name without my wife's signature. It just delays me by 30 days.

[karenpayneoregon]

Good to hear that :)

[Karolyn]

I am happy for you that, despite the initial shock, you got support. That is very important to have. I wish you all the best for Monday.

[Karen62]

Dianne, this is a big day - congratulations! I have not yet done this, but am working my way there.

However, it must be noted that you had one key advantage today that I will not. You are the boss, who possesses the power to maintain or terminate an employee's livelihood. In my case, I will be without that power, and will be at the mercy of the powers that be to treat me well post-revelation. I don't doubt that it will be OK (well, maybe a little) -- but there's always that worry that someone will find me to be "too complicated" or "too disruptive" and thus find any reason, legit or not, to see me out the door and leave me unemployed in mid-transition, which is a very vulnerable place to be within a career. That is my fear, so I am taking my own time about this. I understand that there's a flip-side for you, too, as valued employees can choose to leave and may be hard to replace, but having one's income immediately cease is a pretty big worry. I wish you and all of your employees much acceptance and grace during your now public transition.

Karen

[Dianne S]

Thanks, Karen, and good luck!

Isn't the Pacific Northwest pretty progressive? Where I live, it's illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity and gender expression when it comes to employment, housing, etc. Check if you have similar protections where you live.

Being the boss made it easier in many ways, but harder in others. I've had friends who took a leave of absence before going full-time which gave them time to work on their appearance, get a proper hairstyle, etc. Because I can't be away from my business for an extended period, I have to be on the job for the entire process, which has its own stresses.

[Karen62]

In general, yes it is, the Seattle area is largely progressive (but not so in eastern WA!). I consider myself very lucky to be here rather than in other areas of the world that are in general much less tolerant. But there are differences between generalizations and specifics. Yes, in general, there are laws that protect against discrimination, but proving specific discrimination is not an easy thing to do. When a manager fires you, they only need to say they no longer need your services. If no reason is publicly stated, there are typically no grounds for claims of discrimination. And even if the terminated person chooses to sue, the income is gone, and these cases can drag on for years. Who can afford that?

I know, I am likely worrying a lot over what will turn out to be a non- (or largely inconsequential) event, but I have a habit of preparing for the worst while expecting the best. Old habits, you know.

I really do commend you, Dianne, as you have more courage than I right now, and I respect and admire that very much. I will get there, I am certain, but I am not ready just as yet.

Karen

[Kris Avery]

Dianne,

Woot, this is awesome news.

Well, this is one case for sure... where if they don't like to work for women... then no wonder why they haven't been happy for so long.

[Leah Lynn]

So happy for you Dianne! I'm way behind my original roadmap, but hopefully I'll get a couple days off in about two weeks. Then I'll see the lawyer about the name change and get to hr to start planning the big day at work. Yeah, we're that busy.

Hugs,

Leah