Karen62
04-17-2015, 01:44 AM
I had an unexpected reaction today, and while it surprised me at the time, in retrospect, I am pleased by it.
I made a CD version of a mixed tape (yeah, I am old enough to remember making cassette tapes to listen to in my cars). My CD was all of women singers, so I could sing along in private and work on, in a fun way, voice therapy. Well, one of my favorite singers, Sara Hickman, sang a sweet, little song (Sister & Sam) about her old, melancholy memories of her beloved aunts while she was growing up in the deep South in the 1960s (I grew up in Virginia, so I can relate). And while I have always liked Sara's music (I even met her once!), and as of late, I've really liked this one song, but today, on the commute home, something hit me differently. As I sang along with her, the song made me feel the melancholy she described, and I suddenly began to feel choked up to where I could no longer sing. I pulled the car into the garage, closed the door, and sat in the car with tears streaming down my cheeks for a good five minutes.
So OK, this is a goofy story, I know. But the thing to celebrate is that now after 5 weeks on HRT and after my own self-acceptance of my femininity (rather than my life-long repression and fear of being discovered), I have finally allowed myself to FEEL. I can feel life now in my heart. And that is an amazing development in my life. What a glorious thing this life is.
Karen
I made a CD version of a mixed tape (yeah, I am old enough to remember making cassette tapes to listen to in my cars). My CD was all of women singers, so I could sing along in private and work on, in a fun way, voice therapy. Well, one of my favorite singers, Sara Hickman, sang a sweet, little song (Sister & Sam) about her old, melancholy memories of her beloved aunts while she was growing up in the deep South in the 1960s (I grew up in Virginia, so I can relate). And while I have always liked Sara's music (I even met her once!), and as of late, I've really liked this one song, but today, on the commute home, something hit me differently. As I sang along with her, the song made me feel the melancholy she described, and I suddenly began to feel choked up to where I could no longer sing. I pulled the car into the garage, closed the door, and sat in the car with tears streaming down my cheeks for a good five minutes.
So OK, this is a goofy story, I know. But the thing to celebrate is that now after 5 weeks on HRT and after my own self-acceptance of my femininity (rather than my life-long repression and fear of being discovered), I have finally allowed myself to FEEL. I can feel life now in my heart. And that is an amazing development in my life. What a glorious thing this life is.
Karen