Wearing a wig around SO? Advise needed please. Would you wear wig around SO.

[Sissyboy2]

So my wife knows about my dressing and doesn't seem to mind it. She acts like it's just clothes, sometimes she'll even come up and help fix something if it needs fixing (like taking a tag off or making sure its on right). One day she even came over and put a headband on me. My question is she knows I have worn wigs before becauces I told her that it makes the outfit complete. Well that was like a month or two ago. I have worn dresses, skirts and stuff around her and it's not a problem at all.

So how would I ever bring up the wig issue. I would feel weird almost wearing a wig around her, I'm not sure If I am even ready for that part to wear around her. Maybe I'll let it play out and if it ever gets brought up I'll mention that I do in fact own a wig. (I told her I used to wear one but she is not aware that I currently own one.)

Some of me thinks if I am already wearing a dress than it shouldn't be too much different to just add a wig. I still think she sees me as a man just wearing womens clothes as opposed to a man looking like a women. When I told her I used to wear a wig, nothing was mad of it really.

So what are your experiences like for those of you who have similar experiences or what would you do. How did you bring it up, how did you feel, how did she feel, was it awkard for both of you.

[Terrylynn]

I also wear a variety of women's clothing around my wife but I haven't worn a wig in years. I'm fine with the clothes but feel self-conscienous wearing a wig and makeup. A few days ago my wife mentioned that I threw out a bunch of femme stuff, including wigs, during my last purge about 5 years ago. So, since she brought up the subject I said I was thinking of getting a wig but wasn't sure what style and color would look best on me. All she said was don't go blond. I figured why not push it and I asked her what color she thought would look OK. Her reply was mid length, auburn or brown. Since then I've been looking at wigs although still not sure I would be comfortable in a wig.

[Lorileah]

i would say, ask. I would also say....be careful, remember you are getting to dress on her permission, you push to hard you'll lose what you have

[Rachelakld]

For me, I tend not to wear make up or wig around wife or kids, but....
I do wear everything if I'm going out or coming home, so they do see me occasionally fully dressed.

[Kate T]

My wife is very accepting but really did NOT like the wig, especially to start with. It just makes the whole thing very "fake" for her though she does acknowledge that it is useful when going out mainstream to increase my passability

[abby054]

One day she even came over and put a headband on me.


That is an interesting development. Headbands are what women place on baby girls who have not grown much hair yet. I wonder what your headband means to her.

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

If I dress at home, I tend to wear comfy female clothing (shorts/yoga pants/top) and a wig (no make-up). My wife is very supportive so a wig was not an issue with her. However, having been here awhile, I have read that for some wives a wig is a bridge too far when it comes to their husbands dressing "en femme". Specifically, they are fine with the clothes but make-up and wigs make the transition from "guy wearing girl clothes" to "guy trying to look like a woman" a bit too real. My advice is sit down with your lovely wife and simply ask her how she would feel about you wearing a wig.

Hugs

Isha

[Tracii G]

I would ask her, if she has an issue she will tell you.

[Krisi]

What I did was break everything gradually to my wife. First a bra, then panties, then some old blouses she gave me, then forms, then skirts, etc. She goes out in the morning to exercise and when she comes home, I will sometimes still be dressed so adding one new thing every once in a while doesn't come to a shock to here like just all of a sudden having her see me as a fully dressed and made up woman. So yes, I will wear a wig around her.

For the OP, I would suggest the same tactic; take it slowly over a period of weeks or even months. Add a little thing and see how she reacts. Have you been wearing a bra? Breast forms? Padded panties?

[EllenJo]

I would take it slow and see what develops. My wife has no issue with me dressing but she does not wish to see me in a wig and make up. She just needs to be able to still see her man even when I am wearing a skirt.
Good Luck
Ellen Jo

[SandraB]

When I came out to my wife, I let her know in advance of doing any dressing in front of her that I wanted to build up to a full outfit (without being specific about what that is). Her initial acceptance was that I can dress but only out of her presence. However, we have moved on a bit from this though she still struggles with the 'husband in a dress' concept.
Like Krisi, I gradually added to the look.
When I first wore a wig, make up etc. I did so openly but without a specific discussion in advance that I was going to wear them. So far she has not raised any specific objection to these. If she makes no comment, I will usually raise it in some way in later conversation so as to give her an opportunity to let me know how she feels about it. For example, I've discussed the style of wig, asked advice on applying makeup etc.
I mentioned in advance to her that I wanted to add to the wardrobe i.e. some tops, trousers, skirt, accessories etc. and asked if she would help me shop. To my delight, she agreed to this and has helped me with some shopping. This does allow an opportunity to raise any objections.

The one thing I don't do is frame a question in the form of asking permission as I don't think either person in a relationship should have control over the other. At the same time, if she did strongly object to anything, I would almost certainly back off and try to negotiate to a more agreeable position.

So far, this approach seems to work for me. If it turns out at some point it is not working, I'll need to adjust the approach. Hopefully by raising these subjects in discussion and allowing my wife opportunity to vent, I can avoid finding out it is not working before the 'powder keg is about to explode'.

[kimdl93]

I understand the problem. The solution,,if there is one, is to engage her is discussion about dressing in general, at least occasionally, so each of you know what the other is thinking and feeling. The wig can come up in that context.

For me, I felt odd dressing in front of my wife or anyone else without a wig.

[Jonithan]

The solution in my case was to stop getting hair cuts. With the exception of having my ends trimmed, I haven't had a hair cut in many years. Initially, I got tired of my typical cut and wanted to try something new. Started to grow out my hair just a little longer to have more "options". One thing lead to another and now I have more money for clothes.

joni

[Jackie7]

Sometimes wig, sometimes not. I just got my summer cue-ball haircut, which my wife thinks is cute in some girly outfits. But she doesn't care whether I wear a wig or not, she prefers me to do what I want.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I agree with the majority here and say to just ask her what she things.

The first time my wife saw me fully dressed with a wig rocked her back on her heels. Although I had told her I was dressing that day and she didn't object she wasn't ready to see "Linda" in all her glory. I think at that point I went for a guy in a dress to a man impersonating a woman. This was a warning bell to her that maybe I wanted something more.

We worked it out over time and through therapy. Now she accepts that Linda is part of me and went with me to help pick out my last wig.

[Nadine Spirit]

Sometimes I will wear a wig and sometimes not. It depends on what we are doing mainly.

But... I would agree with others who said speak to her about it first. And no I don't mean, mention to her you have a wig and then wait and she if she will bring it up again, or encourage you to do it. Tell her you have been considering it and see what she thinks, just like you are doing here with us.

[bridget thronton]

I have a wig I never wear it - my own hair is chin length bob

[CynthiaD]

My wife is accepting, but had a hard time with breastforms. Adding a wig seemed to help a lot with that. My interpretation of this is that she saw the combination of breastforms with male face as a mockery of femininity. Adding the wig made it seem more like I was emulating femininity, honoring femininity instead of making fun of it.

It seemed to make a world of difference. So now I consider the dress, the forms, and a wig to be a package deal.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Cynthia makes a good point.

My wife was very adamant about the look I was striving for. She wanted it to be as passable as possible. No caricatures of women allowed.

[Jenniferathome]

If you do a search on the topic here, you will find that many women here see the wig as a really big deal. I tend to think it is the nature of the intent: trying to look like a woman, rather then dressing as one. Don't underestimate how big a deal this could be.

When i I came out to my wife, it was many months before she ever saw me dressed but I did share some picture of me prior to the live version. Pictures are easier to handle than full frontal. Tak to her firstly. Conversation is where all success will start.

[flatlander_48]

When I dress at home it is from the neck down. I seem to associate a wig and makeup with going out, so I would do neither at home. My wife has been out with me dressed, so I don't think the appearance would mean anything to her.

DeeAnn

[Majella St Gerard]

My wife hates a wig on me, as do I.

[Marcia Blue]

I discussed this with my wife. She was fine till she saw the fully dressed. My wife is quite tolerant. She does have a problem being around me fully dressed. A wig or makeup other than lipstick is more than she is ready for. I can wear pretty much what ever is in my wardrobe sans the wig.

Discuss this with your wife. She needs a heads up and her thoughts heard.

[Mistyjo]

I would have to agree with most here talk to her about the wig first
My wife does not mind me wearing a wig around her she has helped me pick out some of my wigs and even bought one for me

[LARIE]

It is very interesting where our SOs draw the line. There was never never much of an outcry from my wife as I went from underdressing to full dressing including light makeup. The wig was fine, but the line drawn was toe nail polish and lipstick. When I have crossed that line, I hear " I don't know why you like wearing women's clothes". If I stay on my side of the line, life is good.

[Krisi]

Yes, each relationship is different and they may change over time as well. If you are in a position to grow your hair out to where it can be styled in a feminine fashion, that's a great solution. If not, it's wear a wig to look like a woman or don't wear one and be pretty obviously a guy in a dress. For me, the wig is what changes me into Krisi. Without it, I wouldn't even bother.

[Maxi]

Finding the right wig is not easy. The first time I tried one on, (Red hair), she flipped out. I left it alone for a while. A couple of years later, I tried again with a different wig. (Blond hair). This time her response was, " it's the wrong color". So I asked her what color would look good? She told me a medium brown. I tried a couple more, all Ebay $10 wigs, till I found one that I thought looked good. When you find the right one, it is a "Wow I look good moment". She said "it was not so bad". Over time she got used to seeing me in it. Now I just bought a blond curly wig, that hugs my face, and she said she liked it. The right style to match your face is important. Her excepting of me in a wig was probably a 10 year road, but it was worth taking it slow.

Good Luck.

[rosetyler]

My girlfriend is a pre-transition trans girl and I'm totally fine with everything transitioning related. I would have no problem being with a crossdresser if I didn't have her, and wouldn't object to them being 100% dressed including makeup/wig/whatever. BUT. I am not your wife. I would suggest lots of communication: open, honest, respectful, and direct. You may have to go slow.

[Dana44]

I would communicate with her on that. Keeping secrets is hard to do. Yet I recommend taking it slow. Communication has been good in our relationship. I would bring it up and see what she say's. I have long hair and can style it for going out. I have to put it in a pony tail when I'm male.

[RADER]

About 5 years ago, my wife is OK with my dressing, She asked my why I did not have a wig.
Well after talking with her, she had me go down to Chicago to a wig person who was very CD friendly.
Well after 3 hours trying on all sorts of wigs, I came home with 3 wigs.
All a slightly different color and stile, how ever all where just long enough to almost touch the shoulder.
She loved them, and would comb them out and have me wear one every time I got dressed.
I never went out of the house dressed, but I had a nice head of hair for a while.
It was a different feeling, since I am almost completely bald.
Rader

[Tina_gm]

I do not dress in front of my wife, but from what I have read, each gg is as individual to her reaction and comfort to cding as we cders are individual to each other. I have read where for some women, the halfway look is hard for them. For others, clothes aren't a big deal but makeup and a wig are too much. And earrings for a reason seem to be a big deal. So many non cders wear them now so I still don't get that one.

My wife is as or more accepting of my being Transgender in the general sense. Body shaving, feminine interests and likes. Mannerisms are things she seems to be ok with. (Not saying like or prefer) long nails, a bit of annoyance but she tolerates so long as they are not crazy long. She asks my opinion of her clothing, what color to get her nails done... she really doesn't seem to bothered to share those types of things with me. Dressing itself seems a bridge too far for her. She fears a bad reaction or a vision she cannot shake. Yet, she accepts many things some gg's who have husbands who dress in their presence have a hard time with. Such is individuality.

I would merely talk about a wig. Ask her if long or short would be a better look, or color, shape. That gives her the ability to be as involved as she is comfortable with. You will have a greater idea of how she would feel with you wearing one in her presence.

[Sissyboy2]

Thanks ladies for all your help. It means a lot to me. So I built up the courage and told my wife I had bought a wig a while back. She basically assumed I did have one but made it clear she isn't quit ready to see me in a wig yet. As I agree I also would not be ready to have wig on in front of wife. I told her now all I can do is the waiting game. I will not go at a pace thats faste than hers because I don't want to loose what I already have built.

The headband was just my daughters headband my wife put on me as a joke.

[Beverley Sims]

I wear a wig all the time now, it started as little periods now and then and over the "years" became more frequent.

Everything including makeup, dresses and nails have to be introduced gradually.

If it doesn't work back off until next time.

[DanaR]

....................So how would I ever bring up the wig issue. ..................
You might ask her on suggestions for your hair. If she has offered help on other items, she might be willing to talk about this.

I have long hair, so this isn't an issue for me.

[Jennifer in CO]

never wore a wig. Hair was long enough in the beginning it went from stringy guy hair to cut "kinda" girly then a few months later full blown early 80's fashion. On the return trip it went from mid back body wave to long bob to pixie to "guy" hair.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in agreement with the suggestions to ask your wife. If she is comfortable with you dressing in front of her, she may be agreeable. If she is willing to give it a try, include her in making a choice: color, length, straight, curly, etc. Maybe if she has serious reservations, maybe asking her for a tryout at Halloween. I suppose each woman has a line in the sand. My wife cannot understand why a guy would wear a bra, when he has nothing to "pack into it," as she said. I need a wig because I do not have much hair left.

[Cheryl T]

Actually when I needed a new wig my wife and I went shopping together and she is the one who picked the style and color (she's got great style taste). At first I didn't care for the color, but she kept insisting and when I tried it on for the 3rd or 4th time in the store I finally agreed.
Between us we have about a dozen wigs and have fun switching off styles and colors. I wear mine (one of them) all the time around the house and it's never been an issue.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Currently my wife is not a fan of it, and basically does not like me wearing it anymore. Of course I do not feel complete without it, and I refuse to look like a guy in a dress as much as possible, so I basically whine and pout til I get my way and wear it.
In wearing it in front of my wife for the first time, it occurred the very first time my wife saw me dressed completely make up etc, she's never really seen me dressed without it.

So you could go with the just do your own thing wear it without discussing it first, and whatever happens, happens. Or do get permission first, or get denied after asking and go from there.

[SharonDenise]

My wife helped me to pick out a wig that we both thought I'd looked good in. That was for Christmas of 2013. I have recently bought two additional wigs but the wig we picked out together still looks best on me. My wife passed last May and I think of her when I wear that wig.

[MissTee]

I would vote you talk to her about it. She might be completely fine with it. My wife doesn't really care and is fine with my dressing however I want to. I will do the fully package of wig, forms, dress and makeup in front of her. Likewise, it might be simply a casual dress and nothing else. Again, she doesn't care.