i am done

[lynda]

hi girls , after 66 years on this roller coaster ride , I am done , no purge, no speaches, I am just plain washed out, you know I will always have you girls back , but I just hit a wall, I cant go on this way, always in the middle, never really man and never a woman, ilook in the mirror now and see my father looking back at me , I am just getting to old for the drama , I am going try an sort this out on my boat , I just need a break from every thing. love hugs lynda

[rhonda_mi]

hi hon i know the feeling too.one wonders how long he/she can play these games. age does have a way of making us gurls look into the mirror and begin to decide that our better days are FAR behind us. Wishing you luck on whatever you do

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I learned some time ago was that I don't have to be one or the other. I'm just happy being myself as a person. How I choose to show that at any given time is totally my choice.:)

[CarlaWestin]

Of course you need a break from it. Not sure why it became such a "drama" but, evidently the forest has become overwhelming and you need to feel the sunlight.

[Joanncdnj]

What a thread........ I've been looking at myself hard too............ up/down, on/off, geez, I'm getting tired, and it is getting harder for me to make-up, look in the mirror, and see that woman looking back at me anymore.

[Krisi]

I sometimes say that "Men get distinguished looking as they age while women just get old!" It's sexist of course and I only say it to friends who can take a joke.

We all have our ups and downs as far as dressing is concerned so there's no need to make any kind of "decision". I will be going on vacation soon and I won't be dressing for several weeks. I may think about it but it's not practical to take my stuff along, much as I would like to. When I get back, I will dress again.

Part of your problem may be trying to dress like a twenty year old "hot chick". Even genetic women have to give that up as they age. Try (when you get back) dressing as a more mature woman. Longer skirts and shorter heels. That may do the trick.

[Maria 60]

I am going to make a comment but don't know if its OK to do this because I don't know your total situation. I to am not very old but let's say I am playing on the back nine now. I work with a 76 year old who is a very hard worker and with the lost of his wife and kids are all gone away, the work is all he has. When I tell him I starting to feel the bones ache and maybe it's time to slow things down a bit. He tells me it sounds like I am giving up, and never give up. I should have the attitude that I want to slow down because I want to not because I am feeling as if I am getting older. Like I said I don't know enough about your situation, but all I am saying is I hope your letting go for the right reason. Whatever you decide you know this door is always open for advice or just to vent.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Bon voyage! See you next week then Lynda.

Hugs, Nikki

[Jorja]

Lynda, you have to follow your heart. If not dressing is something you feel you need to do, then by all means do it. Do not allow anyone to tell you different. However, knowing how this all works, do not purge all of your belongs. Pack them up and store them in a safe place. The urge tends to wax and wane. When it returns, it more than likely will return with a vengeance. Be prepared for that.

[Dana44]

Lynda, yep we all age and life gets shorter. I do not know when I may quit. Don't know if I ever will. When you get it sorted out, you may find that it is just nice to be in the clothes once in a while. I sometimes switch back to male mode fairly quickly on my allotted days of dress with my SO. So if you do dress, great if you don't dress for a long time then great. It makes no difference to the world whether you are running male or female. Stay in touch with us when you come back. I have to work hard to make myself fairy passable and it gets harder as I age. Yet now I try to be dressed as an aged women. Yet, I haven't given up the heels with a longer skirt. Never got any strange looks out there for that. So take a long break and let us know what you think when you come back.

[Sharon B.]

I don't think we can really quit we might slow down our dressing. I'm sure there are plenty of us that think we can quit but in truth I don't think so. I haven't done it a while but still keep my body hairless and have nail polish on my toenails.

[Alice Torn]

Lynda, I sort of feel that way too lately, have not dressed in about five weeks. Not much desire to do so, tired, weary from life, family of origin drama, hard work on cars, and short on money and food. It is hard to get excited about dressing, when not eating enough. If things get too bad, and surviving is a challenge, eating enough, and paying bills, outweighs dressing. i think i am likely the poorest person on this site. Good thing you did not purge, though, in case the strong urge returns.

[CynthiaD]

Lynda:

You've got to do what you feel is best for you. I wish you the very best. I hope you figure everything out.

For me, "taking a break" would mean putting the male side away for a while, but for me, it's the femme side that feels normal.

Best of luck,

Cynthia.

[ptp009]

I reached that point when I forty years old, I had enough of the duality of the lifestyle, my family was first and I could purge and just go away. I wish it would go away, I hoped it was that easy two years later after therapy I started again and finally figured out that THIS DRESSING THIS NEED was never going away. I wish you the best but would think we'll see you here again. Make sure you talk with as professional about this, you need input from an unaffected party. HUGGS....Jenn

[Pat]

I read a cute thing once, "People say it's hard to quit smoking. Well that's nonsense. I quit six times last year and I'm thinking I'll quit again today." All I can say is people say it's hard to quit crossdressing....

[Marcelle]

Hi Lynda,

We all need to do what we need to do to navigate through life. Good luck on this part of your journey. I hope you find the answers your are looking for out there on the water.

Hugs

Isha

[Tina_gm]

I hear you about that feeling about not really being either man or woman. I have called it gender purgatory, and yes, I feel it can be very very difficult and draining. There have been times where I would think to myself just let me find a side, either one instead of the constant back and forth and often both genders working in the brain at the same time. I sometimes feel overwhelmed in clothing stores and malls as they get both gender sides wanting things and it just becomes overwhelming, confusing, and I just want to leave.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lynda, I'm 72 and have been in this program for 68yrs now and for me it just keeps getting better.:daydreaming:

Just don't purge as we know that you will be back.:hugs:

[DonnaP]

:daydreaming:I think I know how you feel I am in same boat excuse the pun I want to meet others like myself but I guess I'm to afraid really having difficult time as what to do. I keep telling myself I'm done but here I ma as I type this response dressed in a Yellow Cable Knit V-Neck sweater panties and a pair of black jeans I bought and my wife washes the jeans on a regular basis and does not even seem to know they are Women's jean I have taken off all tags though. So I to would like any advice you have. Thanks and best of luck on what ever decision you make

[AmyVanessa]

You do have to do what's best for yourself though.
I wish you the best of luck

[Crissy65]

You may need a break but I believe is is never done just hiding under the surface

[Teresa]

Lynda,
I can understand your comments but I have a feeling if I say I'm done with CDing I'm done with life, I just can't see Teresa disappearing not matter what the mirror reflects back at me !
I have to say Gendermutt's words also ring true ! I love shopping but not for the guy ! It's becoming more confusing !

[lynda]

hi girls, thank you for all your input, a little update . I have met someone and for at leased now, right or wrong, I have decided to pack Lynda away in the attic. I am feeling strong right now male , but I know that can change on a dime. but like I said I just hit the wall , never like this before, I really like this women I met and , the only thing she asked of is be the best man I can, you know you guys always have my back and I will always love you.but I am not as strong as some of you. people see us in womens cloths and think we are weak .no no no you have to be strong and tuff. to show the world who you really are . no matter how I dress I will always be a part of you, long live the sisterhood love hugs lynda

[PaulaQ]

It doesn't stop. Ever. I'm so sorry.

[Pumped]

I packed everything, except for my heels, away about 9 months ago. I was out of town for a couple days so I packed up my stash and brought with. I dressed one evening and got absolutely nothing out of it. Parts of my issue is I am getting older and make one ugly female! I walked over and looked in the full length mirror in the motel room and saw this old, over weight guy wearing woman's clothing looking back. The illusion just dies. I am not sure I will even bother packing all up and just toss it in the next dumpster and move on.

On the other hand I still have a few pairs of heels and enjoy the heck out of them. I don't see the heels ever going away and would like to find more "male" appropriate styles and try move them into daily wear. I also have a couple pair of tight fitting woman's stretch jeggings that I like too that I lounge around in that I will keep, but the rest of the wardrobe I am probably going to toss. I don't feel that the jeggings are crossdressing as much as just comfortable hanging out clothing, no rush, no excitement, just comfy.

[AllieSF]

Good for you Lynda and thanks for the update. Just remember that "being the best man that you can be" does not necessarily mean to be the best "macho man". To me it means to be the best human being that you can, i.e. treat others as you would want to be treated, love thy neighbor, don't lie nor cheat, and so on. I am a very good person and man who loves to dress in woman's clothing and go out whenever I can. That does not make me not a good man nor person. Your new friend may just mean to be a good person, someone she can trust.

[lynda]

hi , she did not mean mocho by it , she be the best man you can be and don't try compar yourself with other people. it has nothing to do with dressing, like I said I think you have to be tuff be a crossdresser , because you leaving yourself wide open for people, and that takes more guts then any so called mocho man can muster, I just cant right dress right now , I will never say never , I have been around this block before, I really love you guys , this is some thing I just have to try now. , long live the sisterhood love hugs Lynda

[Barbara Jo]

One thing I learned some time ago was that I don't have to be one or the other. I'm just happy being myself as a person. How I choose to show that at any given time is totally my choice.:)

That is exactly how I feel at 67 years of age . :)

Above all else, one has to truly like one's self..... if you do, everything else will "fall in place " :)

[Beverley Sims]

Lynda,
A break is as good as a holiday.
You will find other ways to express yourself, meanwhile gather your thoughts and we will welcome you back if necessary.

[Jaylyn]

Lynda I understand what you are talking about from time to time. I too have a bass boat and a farm that I have to go to sometimes to just sit and let the world pass by. I'm 65 and it is hard to look hot and sexy although I still try with more makeup and maybe a new skirt or heels. I don't feel though that I'm in the middle as you are thinking. I can be happy in my male skin but for only so long. It seems that the dressing will always be a part of me. I gave up a long time ago trying to fight it but have not given up on trying to sort it out. I just kind of roll with the urges but keep thinking that one day I might be able to stop cold turkey. Who knows where it all will be stopped or explained.