My kids are awesome!!

[Eringirl]

Long story short (long version will be posted in my journal), I was put in the position of having to tell our daughters with my wife present about the separation and pending divorce and my GD and transitioning all at the same time. I was aware that we were going to tell them about the separation, but I thought that would be enough for them to digest without going into my "situation" as my ex calls it. But after I told them about the separation (my ex was totally silent) and many tears, my ex piped up "what about the other thing, you know, your situation?" . I said that was to be for another day. At which point my wife went silent for a few minutes, then stormed out of the room. So, there I am with my two kids staring at each other, going WTF? So, crap, I had no choice. So I told them. My oldest (26) got it right away. My youngest, not so much (23), so I had to explain what GD was etc. She then got it. So after about a 10 minute talk on my apart about my life and GD and what it means and what I now need to do, etc. My wife came back in. I told her that I told them. She calmed down.

After a few more minutes of conversation about long I had know about my GD (17 years - with a lot of denial and hiding), my oldest quietly got out of her chair, gave me a big hug and said how awful it must have been for me to have to suppress it all these years, and that she is so happy that i can now be who I am meant to be. My youngest is still processing all of this (she is a ruminator - a laywer, go figure) gave me a big hug, was really crying and said she loved me so much that she wants me to be there for her. Which I of course said I would.

So, my ex and my youngest needed to get something to eat, and my ex specifically told me I was not welcome, but that worked out okay as my oldest had some questions and wanted to talk. My youngest gave me a big hug and said she would come over to my house tomorrow to talk more. So my oldest and I went off to a coffee shop and we talked about about 1.5 hours. I told her everything she wanted to know and more as she said she wanted to know as much about me and where I am with this as I am comfortable with sharing. So I told her everything. She kept saying that she was just so happy that I can now be happy for the first time and be who I am meant to be. When I got home, she sent me the following text:

"thanks for being so open! It makes the road ahead much easier (for me anyways). I love you too! So much. No matter what. Always! You are a wonderful dad."

Damn...must be allergy season, or something in my eye again....:cry:

I am so fortunate.....I have awesome kids!!!

[RADER]

I am very happy for you that your kids are understanding. Maybe, Just maybe your wife will
see the light and not be so mean to you.
Rader

[justmetoo]

I think your allergies are catching!

That's wonderful, Erin!

[Julie Denier]

That's so great! What terrific kids - you should be proud ;)

[Kris Avery]

Erin,

I am trying so hard to not cry over this....happy tears....it's not working.....
I am so happy for you and your open situation.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Erin;

You had quite a day and you are indeed blessed with mature kids who are capable of seeing what really matters... Someone recently asked me.. Are you Happy? (yes) Are you Healthy (yes) then that is all that matters.

Cheers... Jennifer

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

Erin i am so glad you cleared the huge hurdle of telling your daughters.
you showed grace under pressure and passed the test with flying colours.
hope your transistion goes smoothly and without any bother.
keep on keeping on Erin.

[Suzanne F]

Erin,
I understand why you didn't want to tell them at the same time that you explained the break up. However, I applaud you for going ahead and being open and honest with them now. I also have 2 wonderful daughters that support me. I am so happy that you don't have to worry any more about hiding from them. There is hope for us!
Suzanne

[Leah Lynn]

Erin, kids really are awesome! They will normally accept us if they haven't been turned against us first. Glad it went so well.

Hugs,

Leah

[Bria]

Your daughter's response is testament to the kind of parent you are! Thanks for sharing your very personal story, I'll remember your family in my prayers.

Hugs, Bria

[Nigella]

Some times we do not give others the credit they deserve. I can understand your wife's fear about telling the "kids", but lets face it, they are adults, they can make up their own minds.

Your wife may have lost a tool in her arsenal now that they are aware of your "situation". Be proud of your daughters, they understand you are the same person, just how it will affect them they will need to see, just be there for them :hugs:

[charlenesomeone]

You do have awesome kids, be very proud of them and yourself as a parent.

[Rogina B]

Like Nigella said, THEY AREN'T KIDS !! You will have the firm support of one daughter for sure..Ex will try to control the other. Your ex needs to be an ex as soon as possible !

[I Am Paula]

What a story. Thank you. Now you have to keep that ball rolling, because there's going to be a lot more questions when what they know now really sinks in. Sounds like you have wonderful, and smart kids.

[GretchenJ]

Crying as well as I am typing it.
Eryn, it shown many things, it shows that your children love you very much, that you must have been and still are a great dad to them (as that they want to know and understand everything), and that they want to be a part of your life no matter what.

you must be relieved and somewhat happy, as you must have been fretting about a conversation that you thought was going to totally sucked and instead of impending isolation, you received acceptance and love.

am very happy for you

[Rachel Smith]

One for the home team. :) Consider yourself blessed, as I am sure you do. It doesn't always go so well, believe me I know. Hold them close and cherish your relationship with them.

Edit: I hope you enjoyed the wine. :wine:

[Dianne S]

Erin, that's wonderful. I'm so glad your children are loving and non-judgemental. You obviously did something right bringing them up.

[PretzelGirl]

Even though it was more than you wanted at the time, a great outcome. Even though it was a fire hose, it may in the end be better because you were able to tell them first. I am happy that this first step went well. I wish you continued blessings on your relationship with your daughters. They are the most important, along with taking care of yourself.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'm so pleased for you Erin. You must feel very, very relieved.

Best wishes!