How long can you hide the effects of HRT?

[Launa]

Hi all, I was trying to check other threads to see if this has been asked before or not.

My question is if you want to go on HRT how long can you hide it from everyone before folks you know figure something is up? I know there will be the obvious physical change in the boobs that you will have to contend with. Maybe that can be done by hiding it with a bra to flatten things out a bit? Is there a way to wear a bra and still wear a T-shirt and keep it sort of hidden? And lets say you can hide the moobs via a bra then what about the other changes that take place such as skin, voice, weight distribution after what length of time would folks generally start to clue in?

Launa

[celeste26]

The real question is if you are on HRT why would you want to hide its effects? HRT is for people who seriously desire transitioning so if you're still hiding then maybe HRT should not be taken. It should not be done as an experiment, (just to find out.) The good grade silicone breast forms are far cheaper and can be removed when you get tired of them. There are irreversible changes that occur when on HRT it is not something to play around with.

Well the full effects of the HRT wont be there on day one, more like 4-5 years before the changes stop. HRT has no effect on your voice.

[Jorja]

Well it depends, Launa. We are all different and we all react different to HRT. Some have fantastic results and some have very little results. For the average person, they could get away with about about a year before the changes would be hard to hide.

[Launa]

The real question is if you are on HRT why would you want to hide its effects?

I probably phrased the question wrong. Its not that I would be trying to hide the effects but hypothetically say you plan on staying at a job for a year or two that wouldn't be accepting before you made another move in your life. Or you're 1/2 way out in your life taking them but haven't told some family members that live far away. You get called to a funeral and it isn't the time to break the news to the elderly folk or you will start transitioning at home but not yet at certain business events, public speaking events.

I'm thinking its like jumping in the boat if you think your ready, start the engine and figure things out when your on the ocean VS doing all the check lists ahead of time, telling everybody you're going to do it and then starting the engine and go. I know the latter is the better way to do it.

I thought they changed your voice slightly though.
I also know that they are not to be experimented with.

[PretzelGirl]

Celeste, I asked the same question when I made my transition plan. I was working on the letter for HRT and wrote a plan out of coming out to people, transitioning at work, etc. One of my biggest worries was if the breast growth would show before I went full time at work. So a very valid question. My answer turned out to be that it wouldn't show at work 7 months after going full time. :D

Launa, it is tough to tell as we all change differently. You may have so much change in the face, that it will make others look at you and wonder what is different. It may be breast growth. It may be nothing. Make a plan that fits you and go with it. You can wear compression t-shirts or loose garments to help some things. The face is much tougher. Ultimately, it is all a bit of a roll of the dice.

[Kris Avery]

I agree with the general consensus.

I am having a few bumps in the road after 5 months. :o

But.. It's not really about physical things brought about by HRT - at least not yet.
...the small town is still reeling from the darn Yankee who got pierced ears last fall.
"You're not from here..are you? (In a thick southern accent)"
Even family was not accepting of this single change...roll eyes.

Add to this the longer curly hair....it's causing people to stop my wife in public and ask...WTH.
Of course, they don't have the balls to ask the rude Yankee directly.

That said, I have responded really really well on HRT probably based on stored fat cells from heavier days. I am doing labs every month and adjusting meds monthly.

BTW, Real deal breast growth is not male moobs both in look or in feel.
I used to weigh 360 on a 5'7" frame...been there done that.
I'm now at 190 and haven't lost a pound on HRT.

I have already been deemed unacceptable to go topless or even with only a t-shirt...even at home.

Mowing the bumpy yard on the riding mower REQUIRES my bra..that's not a cosmetic thing either.

Best of luck.

[MonicaJean]

As I enter my 8th month HRT, can't hide B cups any longer. Sure I could afford to lose weight, but still compression shirts aren't cutting it much any longer. My face is softer and noticeably younger. I was bald but i haven't cut my hair in 5 months :D

[VanTG]

On my 3rd week and nothing yet, actually kinda disappointed I'm not feeling anything yet.

[Karen62]

Launa, there are a myriad of factors involved that make your own response to HRT a personal thing that really can't be generalized -- at least not accurately. You have your age, the dosage levels, which forms of meds you take, your genetics (do large breasts run in the XX side of your family?), metabolic response to the meds, your diet, your level of physical activity (a marathon runner vs. a couch potato), etc.

I am like Wendy in that I lost 65 lbs. before starting HRT. At my maximum weight, I had a good A cup in one of the bras I used to wear (with a band-extender, of course!). Just before I started HRT, so much body fat had been reduced that I was then board-flat -- no more moobs. HRT reawoke those fat cells in my bust line and I am basically back at my heavy weight bust size but without nearly as much belly (10 inches gone). But that's it. Now I'm only into HRT since March 5, so I really didn't expect much early on, even that much, but it is there now. The hyper tenderness of the nipple area, however, is a seriously real thing. Bump into something, or heaven forbid, aggressively and absent-mindedly scratching an errant nipple itch (and they do itch as well) and it hurts like hell!

I am facing the same questions as well in wondering when I'll have to deal with this publicly at work (can no longer hide it), so in a way I am not in any rush for big changes (yet), but I am not going to run and hide this, either. I love the feeling of liberation I now feel in that I can finally start living as the real me.

Karen

[Angela Campbell]

After about 6 months I was being called ma'am on occasion while presenting as male. Not because of boobs, but overall appearance.

Also, don't fool yourself, if you wear a bra it will be noticed 9 out of 10 times. They are pretty obvious.

[karenpayneoregon]

For me the changes where gradual over a ten month period at which time I placed my old driver license next to the new one and thought, wow, they are so different and others things were pointed out to me by family and friends. Breast growth was acceptable but nothing huge in that area which is what I expected as the largest breast in the immediate family was a C cup which I have now is a decent size B cup.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Laura;

As they so often say ymmv. For me I've told that in male mode I've been much more noticeable than I had thought. This according to my ex last evening. I've no been doing anything like binding for example. I do known and probably similar to Karen's comment that due to losing a considerable amount of weight my belly is now not the most prominate feature in the front let's say. So I may not be that large but they there and I need to be mindful particularly at work which happily is a rare event and likely the next site visit might end up being the last in male mode.
I do know that the girls need their support so bra it is now daily.

Cheers... Jennifer

[susan jackson]

The real question is if you are on HRT why would you want to hide its effects? HRT is for people who seriously desire transitioning so if you're still hiding then maybe HRT should not be taken. It should not be done as an experiment, (just to find out.)

From my point of view...although I am not yet on any kind of hormone treatment, I am hoping to have them prescribed at my next specialist appointment in a few months. In my current job (pub landlord/lady), it could be quite dangerous if people realised I was changing my gender, so I think the OP's question is valid - personally, I would need to know how long I would have before I potentially had to look to change my job

[Krisi]

I can't help you with your HRT question, but I will say that it will be close to impossible to hide a bra under a T shirt. You might get by with it under a patterned shirt with a fairly heavy cloth but only for a while. At some point, someone will hug you or pat you on the back and feel the bra. Or just see the outline under your shirt.

There are medical conditions and medicines that cause males to develop small "female" breasts. You might be able to pass your breasts off as a medical condition (actually the truth).

But as Celeste posted, if you are on HRT for a serious reason, why hide them?

[I Am Paula]

Everybody has their own coming out plan, and timetable. I think you have to factor in a LOT of wiggle room.

[JohnH]

I guess my question is, "Why would you want to go on M2F HRT if you wanted to hide the effects?".

I have been on HRT for about 3 1/2 years, have D cup breasts, and still live as a man in society. I do get frequently ma'amed until I start speaking with my deep masculine voice. Nobody has taken me to task for my appearance except for my dear wife. I do look much younger than my age of almost 63 years.

HRT makes me feel a lot more in harmony with myself.

So based on my experience my opinion is: Don't sweat it hiding the effects of HRT.

John

[STACY B]

Give me about 6 months to a Year and I will let you know,,lol,,,

[MonicaJean]

The real question is if you are on HRT why would you want to hide its effects?

I’m in the minority as I started HRT right away, physical transition to happen later. The mental relief was unparalleled and welcome. For me, it’s all mental changes and preparation going forward with the part-time transition happening soon.

Given family and work concerns, fully or even partially tranistioning up front simply wasn’t an option for me.

[Sammy777]

My question is if you want to go on HRT how long can you hide it from everyone before folks you know figure something is up?

what about the other changes that take place such as skin, voice, weight distribution after what length of time would folks generally start to clue in?

I thought they changed your voice slightly though.

Skin: while your skin may get softer and or thinner, it is not something the average person will notice.

Weight distribution: Unless you are a teenager - Do not expect much in this area.
Your hips aren't going to magically grow wider, nor will you wake up one day with a JLo ass, lol. sorry.

Breasts: Breast growth and development (in a natal female pubescent girl) take 3 to 5 years. So you have time.

Body hair: depends on person, but most notice some overall thinning out of total body hair.
But again this is something that takes years and is mostly only noticeable to you.

Hairline/Balding - Regrowth: Again, some experience some regrowth of hair, improved hairline, MPB receding.
Again, things that will most likely takes years and only be noticeable to you.

Facial hair/beard: Sorry, but HRT doesn't really help here either. Only real options are Laser/Electrolysis.

Voice: Sorry, but MTF's are shit out of luck on that one. Your voice will NOT change in the least.
[However, for FTM's on T, their vocal cords will lengthen, giving them a deeper more male range voice.]

*Mileage may vary, consult your owners manual, no user serviceable parts inside, this post has a cash value of 1/32 of one cent.

PS: I am not saying HRT doesn't have effects, but they vary with age/genetics.
Also: [Aside from surgeries] Most of your outward look comes from within.
Laser for facial hair, trimming down the brows, shaving/waxing bodyhair, growing hair out, losing weight.
All of which can be done before or after starting HRT and/or coming out.



On my 3rd week and nothing yet, actually kinda disappointed I'm not feeling anything yet.

Van - 3 weeks is nothing, just a mere drop in the bucket.

[Michelle.M]

The real question is if you are on HRT why would you want to hide its effects?

For many reasons, one being that if one is living between genders in advance of going RLE then a certain amount of discretion may be necessary until it's time to pull that trigger. In my case, I began HRT about 9 months before I left the Army, and at the time revealing myself would have gotten me discharged. Sure, I was leaving anyway, but I needed that last few months to save some money and prepare for my entrance to RLE.

Hiding effects of HRT became somewhat more difficult when I started breast development. Thankfully, Army fatigues are roomy enough to hide in.

The answer to the original question - it depends. Some effects are easier to hide than others. Eventually you won't hide anything, and if you don't have a plan to reveal yourself by then then your body will help you make that decision anyway.

[Paulette]

Sammy 777 is spot on in her assessment of the process. So many factors come into play such has genetics of the female members of your family and what development of breast tissue they enjoyed (or hated), age will also play a part. Once you develop enough breast tissue and can pass the pencil test (Ann Lander's advice on when a young girl should receive her first bra) a bra becomes just another piece of clothing that you need to put on before your outer clothing. Take your time and enjoy the small painful moments when you re-learn your personal space requirements. Rome was not built in a day nor will your breast pot out after the second pill or shot that you take.

[JohnH]

Voice: Sorry, but MTF's are shit out of luck on that one. Your voice will NOT change in the least.
[However, for FTM's on T, their vocal cords will lengthen, giving them a deeper more male range voice.]



I am living proof of how MTF's voices do not change or get higher. My singing voice is basso profundo. So there is the odd effect in my church choir of someone (myself) looking very much like a genetic woman singing in the deep bass range, while the other genetic males having traditional masculine appearances, have higher voices.

It will be a challenge for me to develop a feminine voice given the pitch of my root voice. I still want to maintain my masculine voice so I can sing in the deep bass register.

John

[Megan G]

Launa,

I have been on HRT for 18 months and hiding up to 12-14 months Was fairly easy as long as I did not go topless..lol. Now once I started laser hair removal the effects on my face were more noticeable. Still no one asked but I received a few odd stares from people that have known me since I was 1year old. That was 2-3 months ago..

Now that I am out to people my changing appearance made sense to them. They did not like it but had an explaination.

As always YMMV but there are some on here that have gone longer with no problems.

Like Michelle1 I started HRT way before I intended on beginning my transition to buy me some time, I needed the mental relief badly...

Megan

[Kaitlyn Michele]

There really is no way to know..that's the issue

i personally had very little physical change except little nubs and softer skin until i had srs...then all of sudden the fat moved, the boobs grew..etc...
i was in the midst of significant weight loss so that may have impacted things..

it has zero impact on voice..


one more thing...in my experience people don't "go there" ...they think you are losing or gaining weight, they think you are sick, they think you are gay....but they don't see your soft skin and think you are a woman in transition...
but you can't control that and all it takes is one person at work to make your life tricky...

You have to be strategic and consider risks and rewards...you need your job so don't take any chances until you have to..being eager and "needing" to start HRT are different things and you have to consider your own circumstance and decide what's right..
in this case you have to accept that you can't control the actual physical outcome and you can't control if somebody makes your life difficult..

put this into the perspective of transition is the rest of your life. what can you now to make it the best chance of success in the future..what can you do now that would hurt or risk your chance of success..

[phylis anne]

Very good thread by all contributors,
although I am not currently on hrt or transitioning I do dress as to blend androgonous?? but I do have as ennifer at hometold me "moobs" but these are noticeable and since the wife has been away for a bit I have been earing a bra and currently fill the most part of an "a" cup but with real loose work shirts not real noticeable unless you are looking for it and if anyone does say anything bra or moobs wise my reply is dr's orders I am 60 so the appearance is somewhat explainable I am curious as I work more at losing the bubba tummy if my moobs will dissappear ,as I have heard of some that get back in shape but still have their little or not so little friends as I mentioned further back liking to blend and not stand out I would prefer a small chest well good luck wiht your journey
hugs phylis

[STACY B]

I think the beginning an middle is gonna be the hardest? Hiding it is easy, If you are Really Trans you are the Worlds Greatest at hiding stuff. Hell I never gave it much thought about hiding it? I just want it to come on an get with it so the Bad time will be through. Half way through looks like the worst in what I have seen before, Not a Man anymore an Not a Woman ether. I just want to be able to pick a side an stay.

Hell I have been Hiding my whole life, I took this path to stop hiding, Once you accept it your well on your way, That was the hardest for me , I am hard headed an just wouldn't give in or up! Once I came to grips with it all of it comes together slowly but more understandable an clearer on all fronts.

But the hardest thing for me is making EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND! Thats the Hard part, I know there is a over sized shirt stage in my future an excuses are all but gone now for the most part. But after this stage I really think it is going to get REAL TOUGH?
I have no delusions about losing friends and family on my way, One things for sure the list is already pretty small so I will see whoever else drops out of the Game?

But I get what you mean but you need to start making plans an don't wait till it's to late an surprise those who can't take!

[Jorja]

Just my opinion and what I did, don't try to make "EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND". Just be yourself and treat people the way you would like to be treated. The rest will take care of itself. Make a plan for your transition and try to stick to it as close as you can. Sure there are going to be setbacks and challenges in your life but even if you have no GD and the need to transition there are setbacks and challenges. Yes, you might lose friends and family. Go look up what a family is. Create a family of your own if you need too. Friends are a dime a dozen, go make new friends. It is not easy but you can survive it and flourish. Make every attempt to keep moving yourself towards you goal. Sometimes this may mean taking a detour around a roadblock.

[morgan pure]

Do not wear a bra to hide your boobs. Bras lift and define breasts. Scientists and designers have spent years and fortunes to make them serve the purpose of enhancement. Some of my sexiest bras that make the most cleavage are not the maxi-padded ones, they are just well-engineered unlined balconette's.

[Linda Z]

Jora, those are wise words.

[Launa]

Hi everybody, I'm just sending thanks to all who have shared their experiences.

One other reason I was asking about hormones which some members already chimed in on is to try to understand what they do with brain chemistry? In my case I don't think I am a True Text Book TS but I must be somewhere on the Trans scale other than a CD. I think about what it would be like to live 24/7 as a woman and know I can't do it but wishing I could do it. I've heard everybody say the old cliche over the years, "if you want something bad enough you can go do it!" Blah, blah
I have also read many comments on this forum from intelligent members that say If you can avoid transition then avoid doing it. In my case because of age and the life I have built I choose the latter but I sure as heck have it on my mind an awful lot during the 24hr day. Its frustrating as you know what the _______ its like.
I'm not sure what the next step will be.

[charlenesomeone]

Launa I feel exactly like you and your situation above.
I'm seeing a great Psychologist who is helping, don't know if you
have tried that or not. Wanting nothing but the best for everyone on
this journey, ( knowing reality, not cheer leading) but wanting it for
everyone.

[Launa]

I haven't tried the psychologist yet but have been thinking about it. Main reason for not trying to go is I've been to them before about other things and get nowhere. Well somewhere, I try not to be cynical but have always come to the same conclusion once I finish a few sessions and that conclusion seems to always be if you want to make some change then you reserve the right to go do it! And I always seem to blow a $1000.00 bucks on them before I get close to an answer and right now I need a couple new gowns for some upcoming pageants I want to be in....Gowns, laser, shoes, accessories VS sessions LOL
Cheers Charlene

[Frances]

You've just lost all credibility.

[Launa]

For what?

[Frances]

Pageants, gowns, shoes and accessories.

Why do you think trans people seek therapy?

[Kimberley]

There are several factors. Age and dosage of the meds being the primary ones. Additionally, the type of blocker can influence things. In that, there is a choice of medication
Dosages prescribed are; or should be monitored in the beginning to ensure the correct levels are maintained.

As to hiding, I wont say it is a bad thing; we all have different life circumstances that dictate different needs, but if you are young, about a year before you have to start "covering". Layers and loose tops work fairly well. Personally, I have to sort of hide because of my job but outside, that isn't the case. I haven't been questioned. (I am 63 in a month) So, don't worry about it; enjoy the ride!!!

[Launa]

Pageants, gowns, shoes and accessories.

Why do you think trans people seek therapy?

Trans folk see therapy for many different reasons depending on their situations. Your situation will be different than mine and so on. I can speak for myself and say that I won't see a therapist right now unless moving forward in a transition sort of phase or outing myself in my male life would be an option. Because I've reached a plateau with my limitations, the next step might be something like hormones, FFS, botox, dressing more full time.... Because this will not be an option right now I don't think I will benefit a whole lot by going to a therapist. Maybe I'm wrong but everytime I go to one I seem to get the same common denominator that works for me not necessarily you. That conclusion I come to is if you want change you can go do it just understand the possible and probable consequences of your actions.

Kimberley

Great info, hopefully down the road I might see a chance to be able to do this too. Maybe when I hit the retirement years I could go fulltime...BTW I really like your website. I have saved it to my favorites so I can read through it this week. Good work.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You are right...all experience is different.

Based on your posts and experience, scratch hormones off your list..
They will almost certainly disappoint you if you are hoping for cosmetic help

I am all for having personal choice, and do what you want
...but based on my experience you are right...you don't need therapy, or HRT... things like hair removal are a better bet..

its interesting you talk about common denominators...
prioritizing ball gowns vs therapy is not a common denominator you will find often in transsexual women...

[Launa]

Common denominator for me right now is money $$$. This whole thing is costing a fortune right from hair removal, wigs because I won't buy a cheap one, shoes and clothes for big girls that look decent is just so much money that's unless you don't mind looking look like a hooker. If money was no object and I could do everything Carte Blanche then I'm sure I would get some therapy too. I have the perfect life as far as a CD might be concerned it just doesn't seem to be enough though. As far as the ball gowns go yes I like to hang out with 2 of the Imperial Courts in my province, although its members are predominantly gay there are more than a few Trans women and men in the group. I'm not saying I'm one or the other because I've never been to anybody for a professional diagnosis but my CD friends don't like being around the Courts as much as I do. I do need a few different gowns for those events that come up and we have a lot of them in the next 2 months.
Once again I won't seek therapy unless there is a possibility I might make a change in some form or another I personally won't find any use for it unless I am in that frame of mind going in.
Kaitlyn, I also don't think I am TS. I do think though I'm somewhere between CD and TS wherever that might be on the scale.

[Frances]

Unlike Kaitlyn, I am not a liberatarian. I don't think you should be allowed to "try" hormones. You are obviously not trans and do not understand the meaning of the word dysphoria. Therapy is not a means to transition, it is required to alleviate anxiety and unhappiness related to sex and gender. Whether the patient/client transitions or not is besides the point. People seek therapy because their condition hinders their ability to function in regular life, not because they want boobies.

Have fun, buy gowns, remove your hair. You are not trans, and you should not contemplate HRT.

[Launa]

I didn't say I would try hormones ever without proper supervision, guidance and direction. I was merely asking some questions about them. If I ever tried them it would be for the long haul and yes I'm learning as I go only asking questions. I forgot to say that I could careless if you're a Libertarian or not. Folks go to therapy for many reasons I'm not knocking that, never was. You don't even know me but thanks for politely diagnosing me not being Trans now I know. LOL

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I really appreciate the honesty.
isn't therapy covered in canada??

look its not really for me to say, but you brought it up...i don't think you are transsexual either...i think you picked up on that in the common denominator comment...

why not avoid focusing on something so drastic and medical...as others have said, the effects are unpredictable and uncontrollable...and the older you are the more risky and the less impactful they will be..
and what's more, there is a good chance it will screw with your identity as a cross dresser...especially if cross dressing excites you.... you will need blood monitoring, you will have to deal with dosage blues where too much or too little messes up your electrolytes and other aspects of your blood chemistry... you could gain a lot of weight, your cholesterol will likely go up...what do you do if in 6 months or 12 months nothing really happens??? do more?? stop??

your bones will be more brittle and you will want supplements for that.. i assume you'd take testosterone blockers as well and those can be even more nasty than the estrogen....transsexuals put up with this because it aligns body and mind to soul....its not a cost its just the reality of our bodies coming into alignment with who we are...

i just spent a terrifying couple of days getting fast tracked because of a nasty lump we found in my breast that seemed to come from nowhere...biopsy was negative...its just an unexplainable mass that i can choose to remove...

that's the wonderful world of hrt.. and it did barely anything for my boobs even though my mom and sis have large breasts and i was "only" 46 when i started them..even so, they played a part in saving my life...

hormones have helped a lot of people out of misery...taking them for anything else is crap shoot with pretty bad odds..

[Launa]

Kaitlyn, thanks for telling me the info in that manner. It really puts perspective into the harsh reality of taking HRT and explains a lot of things to a newbie. Of course I would always get doctors advice before I would ever take 1 single pill even though you can buy everything online these days. As far as being Trans goes I know I'm not TS. Where I sit I don't know I do have friends, acquaintances that live 24/7 as female, changed just about everything but have kept the bottom bits and pieces only. I'm not sure what name they fall under in the textbook or here but they call themselves Transgender. I'm just asking questions about different things right now to help me out. I think I will start asking serious questions to my friends that are TS/TG when I meet up with them next and get some insight too. I'm usually whooping it up with them when we get together at parties or events. As far as therapy goes in Canada I believe its covered but I think you have to wait a long time to see a specialist in dealing with GID. Up to 18 months I've heard or you can jump the line and pay out of pocket for it and get help on the spot.

[maryellen]

I've gone 14 months without comment and am about to come out and live full time. I rarely wore anything tight-fitting. I really thought FFS would give me away, but people don't tend to pry. Because the change from hormones is gradual, people see what they expect to see. We'll see if anyone at my job figured it out when I talk to management mid-month. If mouths drop open or heads start spinning, I'll figure it surprised them.

[Kathryn Martin]

Normally it will take six months to a year before you can really tell. And only if your wear tight t shirts. yon telling you any different just is too impressed with their booblettes. Skin does get soft and clearer, they'll jut think you discovered skin care. Don't worry about weight distribution that takes years. Voice and ha jut stay the sae and are not all affected by hormone therapy.

[Launa]

I've gone 14 months without comment and am about to come out and live full time. I rarely wore anything tight-fitting. I really thought FFS would give me away, but people don't tend to pry. Because the change from hormones is gradual, people see what they expect to see. We'll see if anyone at my job figured it out when I talk to management mid-month. If mouths drop open or heads start spinning, I'll figure it surprised them.

Maryellen, I have to ask about your FFS. How were you able to get FFS while your employed and nobody has noticed or not said anything? Did you take a month off work get surgery, wait for the bruising to go down etc? There must be more to the story on how you pulled that one off without anybody saying anything! You'll have to let me know if you're happy with FFS and where you had it done.


Normally it will take six months to a year before you can really tell. And only if your wear tight t shirts. yon telling you any different just is too impressed with their booblettes. Skin does get soft and clearer, they'll jut think you discovered skin care. Don't worry about weight distribution that takes years. Voice and ha jut stay the sae and are not all affected by hormone therapy.

Well everyone seems to say the same thing that it takes 6 months - 1 year and small things become noticeable.
What do you do then if the boobs don't grow as big as you want them to, go get implants?
Kathryn, where did you get that top, sweater in your profile pic? I saw one like it at Long Tall Sally awhile ago and really liked it but didn't buy it.

Cheers gang!

Launa

[DebbieL]

It all depends on how you react to the hormones. I tried to hide it from church and my in-laws (at Lee's request), for as long as I could. About 6 months along, I was able to wear a shapewear camisole that mashed things down under baggy dress shirts from LLBean.

By 9 months, I had 38C breasts, and there wasn't any hiding any longer. Eventually, they grew to 38D. The thing is that even though I thought I had passed as a male, most people suspected and many even knew about Debbie, and weeks before I came in my first dress, several women if the church were whispering in my ear "I can't wait to see you in a dress". My Inlaws saw me as Debbie at Thanksgiving and liked me so much that Debbie got all the Christmas presents. It was the best Christmas ever!

When I went to my college and high school reunions as Debbie, NOBODY was surprised. It turned out that even people who had known me since second grade knew that I was transgender. Of course, that term didn't exist in those days. They knew I was "a girl inside".

If you are thinking about starting hormones, you want to do as much of the ground-work in advance as possible. Telling wife, children, parents, are really important. It's also a really good idea to find an employer with a good LGBT diversity policy. My employer even covered most of the medical expenses for therapists and doctors and HRT.

Your therapist can be a valuable partner in assisting you with planning and executing this groundwork. Listen and take the coaching.

[maryellen]

Maryellen, I have to ask about your FFS. How were you able to get FFS while your employed and nobody has noticed or not said anything? Did you take a month off work get surgery, wait for the bruising to go down etc? There must be more to the story on how you pulled that one off without anybody saying anything! You'll have to let me know if you're happy with FFS and where you had it done.



Well everyone seems to say the same thing that it takes 6 months - 1 year and small things become noticeable.
What do you do then if the boobs don't grow as big as you want them to, go get implants?
Kathryn, where did you get that top, sweater in your profile pic? I saw one like it at Long Tall Sally awhile ago and really liked it but didn't buy it.

Cheers gang!




Launa


Launa -

I used Jeffrey Weizweig near Chicago and was very pleased with the result, price and pos-surgical care. I stayed a week at a wonderful re=hab faciloty before returning to Philly. I had my nose fixed, chin rounded. neck re-draped and ears pinned bacck. 8 hours surgery, When I rEturned to my large law firm 8 days after FFS I still had some bruising and swelling. I kept my door shut a lot. Only my secretary asked about my appearance and she seemed to buy my response of "adnoids surgery." Again, people see what they expect.

Maryellen

[Rogina B]

Just my opinion and what I did, don't try to make "EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND". Just be yourself and treat people the way you would like to be treated. The rest will take care of itself. Make a plan for your transition and try to stick to it as close as you can. Go look up what a family is. Create a family of your own if you need too. Friends are a dime a dozen, go make new friends.

Surround yourself with people that "get it" and leave the others behind...

[morgan pure]

5 years- just es. Can't wear polo shirts.

[Sarah M]

23 1/2 months with the injections the girls are getting harder to hide when I'm out about I wear a XL western shirt an that is starting to in ineffective. Wearing a bra under my shirt really shows off the girls. .

[Amy1980]

i myself want to know what is the avreage size brest you grow. i do want to hide the fact i would be transtioning from family as long as posibel. i already planed on binding while in certain areas of my life untill i decide i am 100 percent the woman i know i am.

[whowhatwhen]

Careful, I've heard that binding growing boobs can mess them up.
If you're gonna grow boobs then you gotta be prepared to own 'em, you can't hide them forever.

As for size, it's literally all over the map.
Expect nothing and act surprised at the results.

[Ellaxo]

I myself have been wondering this. I would love to start hormones, but I'm very worried about coming out to my family. As for my friends, I could care less. It may sound wrong, but why should I worry about them leaving. If they decide to leave, then they're not my real friends. My family however is a whole new story. I have thought about this for a long time and I'm so anxious to give hormones a try. I was just hoping to start with them and have a bit of time to think about how to come out and just do it.

[Frances]

The gender program I went through kept spelling out the proper order of events to maximise the chances of success and minimize the possibilities of regret. It's quite simple really.

First come out to people who matter. Make sure that your life post transition will work (family, social support, work, place to stay, etc.). THEN start hormones.

[Megan G]

I can see the value in the steps that Frances outlined above. Coming out to family is extremely difficult and to some it absolutely destroys the relationship. In cases like those you need to be 110% sure that you are on the right path as they can and will put a lot of pressure on you to conform.

It's impossible to tell anyone how long they will be able to hide the effects of hrt or what the average size of breast is. Everyone is different and YMMV due to genetics, age ect...

Megan

[Karolyn]

I'm behind Frances on this one. After you come out to your family, important friends and some coworkers, then you have the serenity to transition without the stress of the upcoming inevitable come out. It needs to not be rushed.

Actually, my therapist wouldn't right the HRT letter until I actually came out to my parents. She gave me advices on how to handle it and it worked well (it took 4 weeks before I could try to talk about it again, and 3 more weeks before telling them I started hormones for real and switching to full-time).

Ellaxo, do not "try"', just do the hard part first, otherwise you will regret it.

[Jorja]

How long can you hide the effects of HRT? About 6 months to 1 year. Your time may vary. Alot depends on genetics, how well your body adsorbs and uses the hormones, and Age at onset. Or, there may not be any change in your body at all. It is a crapshoot as to whether or not the hormones will work at all. Pay your money. take your chances.

[Dianne S]

Yeah, I'm pretty much on Jorja's 6-12 month timeline, I think. I'm 3.5 months in on HRT and have AA breasts. I can still hide them, but they're becoming noticeable. I have an extremely small and slim frame, so unlike most of my trans friends who are quite a bit larger than I am, it doesn't take much on me to become noticeable.

[Ellaxo]

Ellaxo, do not "try"', just do the hard part first, otherwise you will regret it.

This does make sense. I guess I will go the route of telling my family first. It will be hard for sure, but reading what other have said seems like the best option. I've just been contemplating for a long time of when to tell them.

[PaulaQ]

In general I think coming out earlier, rather than later to friends and family is better. Your job is a special case. Sometimes it makes sense delaying coming out to them until you are ready to go fulltime. Coming out early on the job, particularly insisting on female pronouns and a female name is often a disaster, in my experience. (I've seen women do this - it was awful.)

[STACY B]

Maybe you can put it off by saying you have Klinefelders ? Look it up,, That chic Cloe on a documentary used it after a Bee sting. Worked for her for a little while,Just putting off the inevetable though, I know it sucks and there will be lots and lots of questions and pain and more questions and more pain because most cis people will almost never understand!

[whowhatwhen]

I might get crap for this but I've personally held off on coming out to everyone until HRT and hair removal had done their work.
Granted I've been out to a few but I wanted to at least put an effort in to be taken seriously, I just couldn't do it back when I had heavy beard shadow and whatever else.

[Suzanne F]

I came out to friends and family before starting HRT. I have been on HRT 2 months and I wore a sports bra the other day underneath a polo shirt when I had to make a call with my boss at a customer's plant. I will be coming out at work in about 10 months unless it just can't be hidden sooner. I work from home much of the time. I live as a woman except for customer calls or required monthly visits to the office. I decided to postpone coming out at work to maximize the amount of time before I could be fired. I know we should be protected but I am in sales and I just don't trust that I won't face some adverse consequences at work. I plan on coming out and informing them I will be undergoing SRS May or June of next year.
Suzanne

[chrissyjessicadewet]

The important answer here is "Why do you want to?"
You will be surprised how little people care about your transitioning. Its their own stuff that they care for. I been dressing full time for two months now and only postive comments has come my way. My family knows, and years ago when i tol them they blew all over the map. 2 months ago, all clothes got changed. Hair got combed as a girls and skin care been like this my whole life. HRT. Its what you truly want and you wont hide it. You are not scared of what others see about you. You are scared that you will like being yourself. So they look at you funny , they are closed minded. If they where having issues with you, its cause they probably cant deal with it themselves in other things.
Stop pretending to be a boy. None of us are. We are girls with some changed to happen.

[Melissa_Rose]

The important answer here is "Why do you want to?"
You will be surprised how little people care about your transitioning. .

This type of comment is incredibly insensitive. Some of us have significant financial reasons or social reasons to delay or stair step our transitions. Yet when those people post it's the predictable responses of "why would you want to hide" from members that does nothing to actually help others. And no one steps up to stop this type of judgement.
At times this forum leaves me feeling more isolated because it seems if one doesn't conform to a preset notion they are deemed not trans enough.
We take hormones for different reasons. To say that someone on hormones should be ready to live full time is incredibly narrow minded and just a biased in their opinion as the members in society that judge trans people in general. I started my hormones for emotional and mental relief not for the physical changes. I wasn't ready to go full time, but was at a point where I had to find a fix to the problems in my mind. Hormones were that answer.

So why judge what the op shoukd be doing? Why not just reply to the question?

Personally, I have been on hrt for 9 months. I can still pass as male on public. People close to me can see some physical changes but I have experienced a significant weight loss so some.of the changes are blamed on that. I can't comment beyond 9 months, but hopefully other members who have been on hrt longer could add something.

Melissa

[Rianna Humble]

There is no judgement of "not trans enough" from any of the transitioners who regularly participate on these forums and to say that there is insults those who freely give their time to support others who may be going down that path.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Melissa its your comment that is predicatable..
PLease go back and read the thread.

Did you see myself and others have an honest and direct discussion about Launa's mindset?? what on earth can be wrong with that??
Launa found out alot of info and shared her perspective very constuctively

i didn't find the comment you mentioned insensitive at all except in the sense that it had already been stated and discussed in a meaningful and constructive way.

I really don't like the kind of broad empty generalizations you made... "......because it seems if one doesn't conform to a preset notion they are deemed not trans enough."
Please tell me exactly what this means?? trans enough.. what does it mean?? In my opinion those kinds of statements are about YOUR preconcieved notions

is there a view (held by lots of medical people as well) that hormones really should not be messed with unless there is a meaningful commitment to transition??? yep
is there an opposing view?? yep
and the views gets discussed and debated...check out the thread you are currently in...

I am sorry that some people make you feel isolated because they are "trannier", but frankly i think that judgement comes from inside of you..


Pretty much every transsexual i know that transitioned knows all about getting judged by others and its something we all have to get over big time if we want to succeed

[Badtranny]

At times this forum leaves me feeling more isolated because it seems if one doesn't conform to a preset notion they are deemed not trans enough.

With all due respect this IS the TS forum.

I realize that there has been a movement to include those who aren't transitioning, or who have no plans of transitioning, or who have 'transitioned' yet retained their male name and identity. An HRT prescription does not a transition make. The hard part is the social stuff. The things that get done in front of the world. In my view, that social part is so difficult and traumatic that I don't think anyone should do it and I support those who stop at the middle or whatever.

However, this little corner of the vast CD.com empire exists to support those that are on the transition path. Those that have stupidly pulled the pin on the Tranny Grenade(tm) or are planning on it.

Regarding the 'trans enough' argument, I don't think any of us really care how 'trans' somebody is. If a dude wants to transition just for the panties, than God help him, but this would be the correct forum to share and ask about the issues he will face during transition.

[stefan37]

WPATH standards recommend hormone therapy to help mitigate GD. For Some individuals that is enough. Luckily those individuals can go about their lives as male or part-time with the benefits of HRT.
My experience is different. I was one of the stupid ones that had no choice but to pull the pin on the Tranny grenadeTM and fully transition. Living in the middle was not an option. I knew when I started hormones at some point I would have to come out and be honest with those I interact with. I made plans and never hid my physical development. I was open with my employees and customers about my transition six months after starting hormones. I came to this subforum to get advice how to handle the various issues transition causes. I have my own view on what is transition. For the life of me I can't fathom why anyone that is living as male without any intention of socially transitioning would classify themselves as TS. I guess we are so cool everybody wants to join the club.

Since I have no real experience living a dual identity, I can't offer any advice on how to hide the physical effects. I can only offer my experiences that I encountered socially transitioning and facial reconstruction surgery. Doesn't make me trannier than anyone. Just more experience. Want to know how to handle dealing with a spouse and divorce, yet still work with her as a business partner? Be happy to help. What's involved with changing your name, gender and organizations to inform? Send me a Pm. I'll email a list. Difficulty socially transitioning? Sure I'll talk about it. As a matter of fact I'm finding it very challenging and so far the hardest time period to date.
But how to live as male and hide stuff. Sorry I can't relate.

[STACY B]

With all due respect this IS the TS forum.

I realize that there has been a movement to include those who aren't transitioning, or who have no plans of transitioning, or who have 'transitioned' yet retained their male name and identity. An HRT prescription does not a transition make. The hard part is the social stuff. The things that get done in front of the world. In my view, that social part is so difficult and traumatic that I don't think anyone should do it and I support those who stop at the middle or whatever.

However, this little corner of the vast CD.com empire exists to support those that are on the transition path. Those that have stupidly pulled the pin on the Tranny Grenade(tm) or are planning on it.

Regarding the 'trans enough' argument, I don't think any of us really care how 'trans' somebody is. If a dude wants to transition just for the panties, than God help him, but this would be the correct forum to share and ask about the issues he will face during transition.

Well said Chic,, But like I said before in my other thread,, I am going against the Grain on this one,, As you know there is no way to do this right, For the simple fact of all of us living in different places and being in all kinds of different lines of employment fields and relationships.

So I think I will be the one to pick and chose what I will keep and give away right now,, But as you said about the social part like name change or gender markers,An so on,, I think what the question was about is how long could MOST PEOPLE hide the effects of the skin and face and body changes to where there would be no denying it at all? An I think it's all up to the person and there personal hygene, Like how they keep there hair, How they keep there beard shadow,, Laser or not? What type of clothes do they wear? Voice,, Mannerisms ,, There are ways to stay rude and crude on hormones if you are rude and crude person,, Keep up the man act all I can tell you . Anyway getting back to the stuff you do in front of the world, Growing a big set of tits may be a pretty big one don't ya think? You can change your name to a gender nuetral one an still get by,, But hidding a big set of nockers is pretty dam hard too,,lol,,

By the way,, We get to wear panties? Dammmmmmmmmmm ,,, Somebody could have told me !!

[Nigella]

OK folks, lets leave the definition of transition out of this thread. If you want to define transition, feel free to do so here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?229428-What-is)

[LeaP]

...trans enough.. what does it mean??

Pretty much every transsexual i know that transitioned knows all about getting judged by others and its something we all have to get over big time if we want to succeed


"Trannier than thou" (and its variants) is just name-calling hurled by the offended. And nothing offends them more than being judged against the standard of their own words and posts.

Kaitlyn, thanks for that last line. For some reason the concept struck me differently on this reading. I don't think I have ever thought specifically in those terms about those close to me.

[PaulaQ]

We take hormones for different reasons.

Well, not really. Some of us get more profound emotional benefits from HRT than others, but at the end of the day, starting on HRT means boarding the train for girl-town. Once you start it, unless you are just horribly unfortunate (some of us are), you will eventually reach a point where you look very different. How quickly that happens is completely unpredictable - it is based on the medications you take, and your estrogen receptors, and other physical characteristics. Some of us never pass - I'm not talking about that - but most of us look quite different after a while.

I think conservatively, 6 months is the minimum before changes start to be noticeable. 9-12 months is probably more realistic. For some it's longer. After 9-12 months, a person probably ought to have a plan for how they are going to go fulltime. Of course this will depend on how things are proceeding for you, but I'll tell you that I've watched women who thought that no one could tell they were in transition who were just obvious to everyone who knew them for any length of time. They came out at work, and NO ONE, was surprised. (Lucky for that person, they worked for an extremely trans-friendly company, which made their reticence to come out kind of pointless.)


To say that someone on hormones should be ready to live full time is incredibly narrow minded and just a biased in their opinion as the members in society that judge trans people in general. I started my hormones for emotional and mental relief not for the physical changes. I wasn't ready to go full time, but was at a point where I had to find a fix to the problems in my mind. Hormones were that answer.

So many of us have a bit of a juggling act between waiting for enough physical changes so that when we go fulltime we look at least a bit better than we tend to at the start, and waiting so long that the changes to our bodies out us before we have a chance to explain. This sometimes results in a desire to hide everything until one can do a Caitlyn Jenner type reveal "Ta da! I'm a woman now!"

My experience with others tells me this usually doesn't work out very well for all sorts of reasons. So as I stated above, a person in transition would be wise to be working on as many things as they can, in the background, before going fulltime, and they should have a plan for going fulltime. Because unless you are just one of the unfortunates who gets nothing from HRT - and there are folks like that - your body is probably going to eventually out you.

I'm not saying any of this to be "trannier than thou" - just practically speaking, I've watched people in transition sometimes hesitate and stutter-step out of fear. This fear is understandable, but unfortunately, unless a person stops HRT, their bodies will continue to change, often leaving them in very awkward situations. So once you start HRT, it is my opinion that you should have a plan for how to go fulltime, because there is a very good chance that for as long as you take those hormones, that's where your body is headed, whether you want it to go there or not for social reasons. If you do this, start HRT, form a plan, execute it as best you can, and for God's sake, don't stop it unless you realize this just isn't for you, and you REALLY stop it all.

If a person really feels they are a woman, if they simply have to transition for any number of reasons, I think they need to accept several things:
- Their lives are going to change, probably radically
- Some changes will be for the better, some for the worse
- They should expect to lose SOMETHING. Some of us lose it all save our lives. Some lose even that.
- It isn't always a nightmare - don't think that. But don't expect it to be easy - it will be the hardest thing you've done.

I think we each have to accept that early on, some amount of loss is going to happen, and that you are much better off, in my opinion, working actively to try to minimize this as best you can, cutting your losses as fast as you can, and moving forward through the horrible parts as quickly as you can. I'm not saying to do things that make this harder just to be fast, but that if losing something (a relationship, for example) because it will otherwise stop your transition, you should probably just accept these losses and move on, again, trying to minimize them without stopping your own progression.

I also think that trying to minimize the time you are in transition is generally a good idea. This doesn't mean doing everything as fast as is humanly possible, but rather that you should continue making forward progress at all times on SOME part of your transition. We are incredibly vulnerable while we are in transition. Dragging it out increases the odds that something will happen that stops you. This is very personal, but to the best of your ability, be quick about this.