A question for some members that has intrigued me for some time

[Jenniferathome]

On occasion, some members choose to share photos of themselves in lingerie. I can't really think of a sight more incongruous than a man in lingerie but I am curious as to why these photos are posted. The reason I am caused to ponder this is that the vast majority of us claim to be straight. Not "mostly" straight, just plain old straight. That being the case, what is the goal of such a photo? Lingerie is traditionally something worn by a woman to turn on her man (and ladies, it works).

So for whom is it that these photos are intended? I'm just curious.

[Launa]

I really don't know why I have to see this stuff too it really shows a bad light on us as a group. I get a lot of people with these erection shots in lingerie on FB showing up on my page as People You May Know - request friend..... How come so many folks get pushed my way as possible friends? Is it because I belong to so many Trans groups?
Those photos are yuk!

Launa

[Brandy Mathews]

Jennifer,
I understand completely what you are saying, but I have dressed on and off for over 20 years. I hate to say....... I was there at one time, back in my younger days. So I kind of understand in a way.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Dana44]

Lingerie pictures. Yeah, it would seem that they were kinda voyeuristic. I would not like to see them either. That stuff is better to turn each other on for a romantic evening and left in the closet.

[ReineD]

I asked that very same question once. If I recall, a lot of people said they wanted to know if they could pull it off, and also it made them feel sexy.

[Jenniferathome]

Reine, no man can pull that off. We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less. Funny.

[pamela7]

there's nothing wrong with nudity, and nothing wrong with folks choosing to express themselves as they wish. your argument that lingerie is for attracting males is no different to people saying the same about CD'ers seeking to attract males, and equally specious.

our community is about inclusivity and acceptance, diversity and not judging others as to whether we'd be comfortable in their photos/clothes.

as to why they do it? so many possible motivations, seek to understand by asking openly rather than judgementally.

[Jenniferathome]

I didn't say it was wrong and I did ask a question openly. If you re-read my post, you will see that I wrote lingerie is "traditionally" worn by women to turn on their man. Denying that truth is putting one's head in the sand.

By the way, lingerie is by it's nature provocative and sexual. Cross dressing is not. Calling those two things equal is egregious at best.

[ReineD]

Jennifer, maybe the things you and many others here wear (including my SO) are not provocative and sexual, especially for going out. BUT ... there are many Cders who do enjoy putting on these things. Go have a look at some of the image sharing sites like flickr or imgur. Lots of legs showing the tops of thigh-highs, cleavage shots, CDers on beds, etc. And doesn't (or didn't) this site have a sub-section in the private GM section for members to post pics that might have been too racy for the Gallery?

... and even my own SO has a few frilly, short and scant pink things tucked away at the very back of the closet. :D

[Khora]

Reine, no man can pull that off. We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less. Funny.

Funny. I don't remember being told you were in charge of how CDs are supposed to dress. Stop trying to police others' behavior. If you don't like seeing CDs in lingiere or other skimpy clothing...don't look at the pictures?

[Donnagirl]

Jennifer,

Please forgive me, but I'm a little confused by the tenant of your question... So much of what we do is difficult to comprehend for those to whom it has no allure...

I mean, are short skirts OK, short dresses Ok, make up OK, high heels, stockings, breast forms, perfume... all these intended to make a female attractive to a male... but that's not (necessarily) the reason we wear them. How about a ball gown? What about a wedding dress?

IMHO all are just expressions of femininity and an intrinsic part of what makes us, well us... For some, lingerie may fit into that expression, may be a means they use to fulfil this expressive need. Surely the point at which we personally draw the line is just that, a personal choice. Endeavouring to understand the foibles of others is a fools errand, being judgemental, more than a folly...

[Jenniferathome]

Jennifer, maybe the things you and many others here wear (including my SO) are not provocative and sexual, especially for going out. BUT ... there are many Cders who do enjoy putting on these things. ..

I certainly don't question this. The WEARING makes sense, if anything about cross dressing actually makes sense.

To Donna, this covers your reply as well. I don't question nor care than anyone wears whatever they wear. That was not my question.

[Candice Mae]

Reine, no man can pull that off. We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less. Funny.

Oh really? But then again, I'm really only a "man" in a legal sense... And I'm not a CD either.

[Jenniferathome]

Funny. I don't remember being told you were in charge of how CDs are supposed to dress. Stop trying to police others' behavior. If you don't like seeing CDs in lingiere or other skimpy clothing...don't look at the pictures?

Nowhere did I suggest I am the police nor did I tell anyone they can or can not wear a, b, or c. My OPINION is just that. Much like yours. My question is still my question.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm with Jennifer in that I personally have zero interest in seeing "more" covered by "less" but there clearly is a market for that sort of thing, probably a significant market compared to this relatively tame site.

That said, if given an opportunity, I'd explore my own limits in this kind of presentation...keeping it 100% PG13. This would have zero to do with attracting someone else. Instead, it's be pushing boundaries to see what I can or cannot pull off. To see if it changes my own perception of my own beauty or lack thereof. In other words, I see the allure with strict personal limits even though I have yet to go there.

[prene]

For me wearing lingerie is for me to feel more like a woman, not to attract a man.
Could I pull it off in lingerie ... look 100%, not without SRS and probably a boob job. LOL

Am I straight yes, do I wonder what it would be like to be a woman with a man ... "Yes".

If I was a woman would I want to be with a man, I would be curious "yes".
But I would probably be at least bi ... because I love kids and would want some.

[Jenniferathome]

Sara Jessica, as I read your comment, it is a personal thing. As I have already written, I get that. My question for you is, would you then choose to share that "photo" in an open forum type atmosphere?

[Donnagirl]

Jennifer,

You miss my point... We all post pictures that are unfathomable to those for who have no understanding... We (well I speak for myself but consider it as a generic comment for the majority of the CD population) don't post to attract men whether it be short skirt or lingerie... We post for vanity, we post for external validation, we post for reasons of pure self indulgence. We post to show that we can present a respectable, reasonable, believable, facsimile of a female... (Be it real or fantasy...)

[prene]

Jennifer,

Y... We post for vanity, we post for external validation, we post for reasons of pure self indulgence. We post to show that we can present a respectable, reasonable, believable, facsimile of a female....
A little but for vanity, for me I want to get better and get tips on what I can do to look better.

maybe a fantasy that I ever could pass ... but hopefully a chance I could someday.

[Mink]

If you re-read my post, you will see that I wrote lingerie is "traditionally" worn by women to turn on their man. Denying that truth is putting one's head in the sand.


yes... lingerie is TRADITIONALLY worn by women to turn on men

also men are traditionally attracted to women and women to men

marriage is traditionally between one man and one women

what's your point ???

who the heck cares about what is traditionally said or done (esp. in regards to this!)

because if you're going by the tradition of how a man should dress at all ... well then you wouldn't even be here!

[Gardener]

Is this question part of a bigger one? The whole issue of public and private? We are essentially men if you stop us off that is what you will get to look at. To greater or lesser extent we use techniques to disguise that when we dress to appear like women. I look at your avatars and posted pictures with awe at the transformation that some of you can produce and know it is highly unlikely that I would ever be able to produce similar effects, even if that was what I desired. So for me it is not sensible to be on public display. However that does not stop my desire, my greater sense of ease and comfort, physically and emotionally, to dress with clothes and in style, under and over, that mimics how women might dress. It is for me, privately, but to be shared with my wife up to her comfort point. If one can create the effect convincingly then why not show others, if that is your thing. Showing what you can make of yourself in a public sense, getting a sense of personal excitement even, what is intrinsically wrong with that? I am sure women do the same. However if like me credibility would be stretched, maybe better to be less public about it?

[ReineD]

We (well I speak for myself but consider it as a generic comment for the majority of the CD population) don't post to attract men whether it be short skirt or lingerie... We post for vanity, we post for external validation, we post for reasons of pure self indulgence. We post to show that we can present a respectable, reasonable, believable, facsimile of a female... (Be it real or fantasy...)

It actually took me a long time to understand this. It drove me crazy in the beginning, seeing my SO post all those pictures that I perceived were meant to attract men. There was nothing wrong with the clothes, my SO was fully dressed, but it was some of the poses, the attitude shining through. There was one professional photo shoot with my SO as a 50s pin-up girl wearing cute PJs (nothing revealing), but it was difficult for me to understand the need to post these for the benefit of other CDers, who do primarily identify as men.

I understand it better now, but I'm also very happy that my SO hasn't taken out her camera in about 3 years. :D

Jennifer, your earlier comment:

Reine, no man can pull that off. We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less. Funny.

Do you mean that when a CDer is scantily clad, it is even more difficult to hide the male body, and this defeats the purpose of trying to present as a woman?

To your earlier question about straight CDers posing in things that women wear in order to be appealing to men, one other reason is that there ARE CDers who are male-attracted (are or have been in gay relationships), and there are others who are most definitely attracted to other CDs even though they consider themselves straight. We've all read those posts. Maybe these people base their definitions of someone's sex on what they wear? Because we do have quite a few CDers who refer to themselves as women when they are dressed.

[Zylia]

Lingerie shots aren't my thing either. About 1% manages to pull it off and another 4% is able to make somewhat decent pictures of themselves because they use an unrevealing angle or another trick shot. Then again, some share full outfit pics that aren't particularly pretty either because they wear the wrong size, their physique is very masculine, etc.
We all set different goals for ourselves. Some are happy with wearing female clothing, some also want to look (semi-)good in it (and yes, that is subjective). The pictures are a reflection of that.

[TinaZ]

On occasion, some members choose to share photos of themselves in lingerie. I can't really think of a sight more incongruous than a man in lingerie but I am curious as to why these photos are posted. The reason I am caused to ponder this is that the vast majority of us claim to be straight. Not "mostly" straight, just plain old straight. That being the case, what is the goal of such a photo? Lingerie is traditionally something worn by a woman to turn on her man (and ladies, it works).

So for whom is it that these photos are intended? I'm just curious.

... Asks the man sharing pictures of himself in silky dresses and wearing fake breasts. Ya "turn on" many women with your boobs, Jen?

Wow.

If you don't understand them, you don't understand you. You might wanna work on that.

For whom are your photos intended?

[Launa]

My photos are of me trying to look my best as a woman even though I can't pass. I post them on my FB pages. The photos I don't like to see are the ones that show up with the head or face sort of blocked out, laying in a sexy pose with a penis hanging out or a pose with someone wearing a cheap outfit from Suddenly Fem thinking that they look like a Suddenly Fem model showing an arse shot at the camera. I think people put their photos out there to fish for compliments from anywhere in the world as they sure wouldn't get compliments from the majority of folks.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I'm with Jennifer in that I personally have zero interest in seeing "more" covered by "less" but there clearly is a market for that sort of thing, probably a significant market compared to this relatively tame site.
I defend the right for anyone to dress as they want - lingerie, short skirts, etc. At the same time, some pictures are best posted in a section such as Risky Business where they fit better with the genre and avoid concerning our partners.

[Teresa]

Jen,
It's something I wouldn't do ! Some of the replies mention certain sites on the web where you can see some pretty explicit stuff ! When I really got into buying my own underwear I visited some of these sites as a turn on ! You call it incongruous, I would go further and say a revolting turn off ! One of the reasons I started shaving my legs was seeing overweight men squeezed into undersized underwear trying to look sexy in stockings that were so small they only just managed to to get past the knees, all topped of with male hair protruding from everywhere ! Some of these sites on the search page came up as CD related help forums ! In that respect it's not surprising our wives/partners give us a hard time when they can openly view stuff like that when all they're looking for is trying to make sense of us !

Sorry for the rant !

As to your question it could be like so many things to do with our CDing, do it often enough and it becomes normal ! Your partner sees in you in your undies and maybe likes it and you think I'll share that with others !
As a photographer I can understand the attraction of wanting to try and pull off the glamour aspect, I will applaud some members who pull it off very well ! I'm also grateful that the forum has guidelines and rules on this one, I probably wouldn't have stayed as a member knowing my wife might come across this site and find I'm a member of some sleaze club !
I guess what you're saying is underwear is just that, it stays hidden and private but don't feel guilty about enjoying it !

[Lily Catherine]

Having already posted lingerie shots before, and for that matter being a colossal fan of short skirts at any rate, I must say I for one did all of that for vanity, for the sheer sake of it, and admittedly external validation to some degree. (I have succumbed to all, sadly.)

I can appreciate the vanity aspect as outside looking in as well; there may be a part of some of us that wants to become the sexy female image in our mind's eye (I still occasionally fall into this.) If we in that demographic are turning anyone on, it's probably ourselves foremost, coupled with any emotional gratification we get in the process.

Lingerie being admittedly perceived as a feminine, "provocative and sexual" garment only visible in intimate settings might also play a role – the connotations of lingerie only add to existing tactile cues; think of the feel of lace against your skin, or the way a corset hugs your torso. Even with the entire salt shaker, the notion that cross-dressing among some of us (albeit much more on the fetishist's part for sure) is programmed towards 'contact with a female' seems to linger.

@Launa: I totally agree with you on the 'penis hanging out' photos. There doesn't seem to be much taste in those if at all. Never mind that it's used often for the sake of shock value.

[Katey888]

By the way, lingerie is by it's nature provocative and sexual. Cross dressing is not. Calling those two things equal is egregious at best.

:thinking: egregious: do you mean in a good sense or a bad sense, as it can be used to mean both? :) I'll assume you mean it's shocking that crossdressing can be seen as provocative or sexual... :eek: but only perhaps on this site would that opinion be given any credibility as the vast majority of other CDing sites are almost wholly sexual and provocative... (Yes - we do seem to occupy the high art end of this pastime here...) and by implication a lot of the CD world is.

To address your OP - you say:


Lingerie is traditionally something worn by a woman to turn on her man (and ladies, it works).

Others have spotted the contradiction here before me (how I wish I stayed up late sometimes...) but I can think of something to add...

Jennifer - long hair, makeup, high heels, short skirts and dresses, jewellery are all things traditionally (recent history) worn by a woman to turn on her man - and I think your own pics present a nicely made up, long-haired femme image, with dresses showing lots of skin, jewellery and high heels...

And what do you wear under all those things traditionally worn by a woman to turn on her man...? Hmmm...???

I wouldn't want to share that aspect of me with others - so I kind of agree with you on that point - but it's a personal choice that others make... I don't believe anyone is obligated to look at anything they don't want to, and if you can't see the hypocrisy in your rather loaded question, then perhaps you need to think a little bit more about tolerance; about freedom of choice; and about the right to express oneself as an individual... particularly in the rather odd way we ALL do that here.

And as for


The reason I am caused to ponder this is that the vast majority of us claim to be straight. Not "mostly" straight, just plain old straight.

Remember that good ole thread "How straight..." on this forum that returned 58.5% of those who responded saying that they were gay, bi or bi-curious... doesn't score as a "vast majority" by my maths. :) Actually, we "plain old straight" CDers may well be in a minority, even here...

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Goodness me . . . I won't even start down the silly pathway of what is traditionally worn by men and what is traditionally worn by women to attract whomever. I get your question on a theoretical level Jen . . . it is a fair question and your opinion. However, what strikes me as odd about the question is that you equate wearing some items of women's clothing and posting photos as tied to sexual orientation while other items of clothing (pictures posted) are not. Yes, we all know that many who water here may be homosexual, bisexual or as you say "just plain straight" but clothing does not define our sexual orientation. As many have pointed out, it seems ironic to ask who are you trying to attract in lingerie because women traditionally wear it to attract men when you post photos in light sundresses, nice make-up, breast forms and coiffed hair . . . things all traditionally done by women for centuries to attract men yet you don't see that tied to sexual orientation which is right because . . . it is not. Heck this is TG 101 stuff . . . gender identity however one chooses to express it is not tied to sexual orientation. :facepalm:

Remember, we all have our own definition of what femininity is. For some it is casual clothing and looking like the woman next door out for shopping. For others is clothes for clubbing and for others it might 50's dresses and bobby socks. Those who post pictures in lingerie are doing just that . . . posting pictures. I doubt they are going out in public in lingerie or sharing pictures with others in hopes of attracting a date and even if they did . . . that is their concept of what it means to be CD and quite honestly their choice. Does it mean they are gay, not a dude or whatever? Well, let's just say I have little doubt when many men see you out dressed "en femme Jen" I am sure they are thinking "this dude is so gay because he is wearing a dress" which is not the case . . . right? Yet it is the typical crap the Vanilla worlds heap on us (girly clothes mean gay) and one I never thought a TG/CD would ever make. . . . and that is my opinion.

Isha

[Erica Marie]

Jenn, unfortunately its one of those " to each, their own" things.

We all may not enjoy seeing those pic, including myself. Actually I find myself so far from attractive wearing lingerie, that I rarely do. But its one of those things where we all fall into "different categories" for why we dress. Some of us try our hardest to be able to go out and blend with the general public and some are quite content with just staying at home in their own privacy and being comfortable with themselves.

I guess what Im saying is I side with you on this one, but we still must allow each member express how they feel.

[Sara Jessica]

Hi Jennifer, to answer your question...I would not lean towards posting any sort of personal lingerie pictures. I guess the only way I would do so is if it came across like some sort of high quality boudoir photo session which again was entirely PG13 AND that I managed to pull it off (the degree of which would then be in the hands of others).

The replies here have given me more perspective on this whole thing. I think some here (myself included) divorce any connection between gender presentation and sexuality. After all, they are two different things. Blatant pornographic shots along the lines of what Teresa describes (thanks for the mental image, ERASE! ERASE! ERASE! ;) ) are one thing. That is clearly sexual for those who partake in both taking such pictures and those who get a kick out of viewing such material. This is not what I'm talking about.

It comes down to how you define lingerie, as being inherently sexual. Hard to argue that but can't lingerie also help a woman feel pretty? Take a longtime married couple. She doesn't need to wear this stuff to attract him, nor to keep him as they are married. Maybe he likes it when she wears it and she wants to make him happy. But might it help her feel good about herself? I won't profess to speak for natal females in this regard but I think we have all heard that analogy at some time or other. This is kind of where I'm coming from when I approach lingerie. Take the photography out of it, there is a reason why there are countless under-thingys out there which are truly pretty. We may gravitate towards them for a lot of reasons but personally, I'll take anything that helps me to feel pretty even if no one will see what is underneath the outer shell.

Trying to bring this full circle, dialogue such as this brings out POV's that differentiate this site from something like "show-me-your-panties-and-i'll-show-you-mine.com" in that the grey area in between is where sexuality resides. Some are willing and eager to play there, others...not so much. Thing is, we are all outliers and many of us who present in the real world for whatever reason (i.e. - where we reside on a gender spectrum) want to do so without there being any sexual overtones which of course is what many/most Muggles think of when they encounter a member of our tribe. I think is where your POV is very similar to mine.

[Adriana Moretti]

I'm jumping in the "for each his/her own boat" ...with that said...I'm not a fan of the pics either, most of them anyway...but whatever floats your boat.

[Alice Torn]

I do not wear super risque lingerie. These pics are as risque as i go. WHY DO I SHARE THEM? To share my artistry, and get attention! I HAVE NO SO, OR MATE. I almost swore i would never wear panties, six years ago, only wear pantyhose , and never buy a lady bathing suit. Shortly after, i got some pantygirdles, and panties Well, a few months back, i got a one piece bathing suit, and i look fab in it. I doubt if i could get drunk enough to wear it to the beach, though. To each his own. Launa, I so agree about photos with guys letting it all hang out. It turns me off. If presenting as a woman, i never will show the male parts. Jen, here is my closest thing to not covering enough. I am single .

[Shelly Preston]

Motivation is hard to define when it comes to pictures.

Some feel it can be a validation of who they are.

Those pics are not for everyone, but remember women also have photographic shoots which can include underwear pics.

I am sure however everyone tries too look their best.

[pamela7]

another thought - i personally never met a woman who was using her lingerie to attract me/other men, oh no indeed, they are only revealed AFTER one has "scored"!!!!

Beachwear though?!

[xoMindyxo]

It's not my place to tell anyone how to express themselves or what they want to dress in.

Personally, I think there some CD's who take great shots in lingerie. For me, it comes down to presentation of it. I think smutty or perverted style presentations aren't my bag and don't belong on public sites for all to see. I feel it really reinforces the stereotype that our community are sexual deviants and perverts. But there are some that are presented very well and classy ?

Do I like dressing sexy ? Hell yeah I do ! I love being able to rock a mini dress and some stiletto heels or pair of skinny jeans and knee high boots. But I am realistic on what I can and can't pull off though.

It's all a matter of opinions and tastes. Don't like the stuff some people post ? Don't look at it I would say ?

[GretchenJ]

Hey Jenn,

i agree that this genre of dress is not my cup of tea either, except for maybe totally in private, and never taking any photos (because I know I simply can't pull it off if I wanted to) , I do realize that my opinion represents either a minority or a majority of those here on this site. There are so many different aspects of behavior norms among us, it's really hard to ascertain this.

indistbutable though, is that for SOME, not all the purpose of dressing is purely sexual in nature. For some, this means sexy poses in lingerie, for some that may mean a short club dress with 4in heels, others it's a classic suit and skirt outfit.

for some, it the goal of trying to just present as an everyday woman. I think since you may fall in this range , you don't understand the motivation for the lingerie photos. Heck some GG would go to Glamour Shots to take a boudoir photo and hang it their bedroom for either themselves or the SO. Some consider that aspect very private.

i guess it just matters who you talk to (CD, TS, TG, GG) all included.

[~Joanne~]

I asked that very same question once. If I recall, a lot of people said they wanted to know if they could pull it off, and also it made them feel sexy.

I think this is the best answer, I am sure a lot of us try various things that we probably have no business trying in the first place but the curiosity through the years, the wondering what it feels like and such, we just go for it to see if we can do it or not and who are you going to share it with other than other sister's?

I personally have never done Lingerie,or bikini's, really haven't had any desire to but that doesn't mean if the right outfit came along I wouldn't. Whether I would share the results or not, that's a different story ;)

[LilSissyStevie]

Maybe you should ask why a CD would post any pictures at all. I hate to say it but 99% of the pics I see are a man in a dress. The other 1% had to be gleaned out of probably dozens. I haven't posted pics in a very long time because of that reason. But I don't really dress to "pass," I do it because of how it makes me feel. I really don't care what others think about how I look so I don't seek their approval. I stopped taking pictures of myself years ago.

[Rhanda]

Some time ago before I found this site I made a search for local contact with fellow crossdressers and found only sites offering only sex with other "CDs". It really turned me off and I began to think that my kind of crossdressing was limited to just me. Then I found this site and found that there were more CDs who agreed with me than disagree.
I am not saying that any of us are in complete agreement but on this site there is a certain feeling of propriety. and I have never seen any photos that exposed in any form the masculine parts between the legs. Thank you, whoever is responsible.

Rhanda

[~Joanne~]

Stevie, probably just to have some fun while they are dressed. I like to share pictures myself. I do it for something to do while dressed seeing that I don't go pass the front door all that often. When I do I do more pictures lol I don't do them, or share them, for anyone's "approval" but feedback on whether I am improving my style and look is always nice.

That's also another reason I do the pictures. If I look at the ones that I took when I first started REALLY dressing and compare them to the ones I take today, there is vast improvement there.


We have a lot of pretty sisters here that pull off the look very well so I don't think that 99% is very accurate.

[Stephanie47]

Jennifer, it is inevitable, if a question is posted there is slop over to other issues. Firstly, you only asked why photos are posted on this site? (Some member choose to share photos..) Since I have not posted any photos, let alone photos in lingerie, I cannot answer your question. Maybe some of the commenters who have posted lingerie photos can answer.

I enjoy seeing photos of members attired in "street wear" or "formal wear." In the real world when observing women I find a woman smartly attired in a dress, skirt & blouse, jeans & top attractive, and, thus desirable. The problem with the cheesecake pictures on this site? I know the wearer is a guy. If the purpose of lingerie is too "turn a guy on," the effort is wasted. If the purpose of posting is to make the wearer feel great or womanly, then OK. The visual is a little too much for me.

My personal opinion for myself is I don't possess the attributes to don such skimpy lingerie. When my wife and I were younger we enjoyed shopping for lingerie for her. We spent many Saturdays in midtown Manhattan checking out the floor length or tea length nightgowns or colorful slips in Macy's and Gimbel's and Bloomingdale's and all the stores between. At that time she had the figure that did not need to be concealed from her husband. Sometimes women wear certain garments because they are self conscious of a minor "defect," even though her lover could not care less. My memory has not diminished to the extent I have forgotten those trips. Doctors say when we get old and feeble our short term memory goes first, and, the long term memory remains. I'm all set for the nursing home. :)

As to my personal preference.... I love a woman in a floor length nightgown. There is mystery. There is the idea of "unwrapping" a present. Then, there is Elizabeth Taylor in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." How can any man not like her in that slip? Check out the ads from that time period for day wear. Slips too were marketed with the same idea as bedroom attire. It may be a generational thing. Maybe us "old guys" see visual sexual stimulation in a different light.

Me? I have several floor length nightgowns. I love wearing them in the privacy of my home. I can say the same for many of my lovely slips.

So, if members want to post lingerie pictures, that's OK. I'm only interested in lingerie pictures of my wife.

[LilSissyStevie]

We have a lot of pretty sisters here that pull off the look very well so I don't think that 99% is very accurate.

Maybe I have a more discerning eye than most. I don't mean that they necessarily look bad just that they don't quite pass. My point was that Jennifer wonders why someone who didn't pass 100% would post pics wearing lingerie so why doesn't she ask why CDs would post pics at all? It's not a question I would ask.

[Candice Mae]

Who says some one that was born "male" can not look good in lingerie?
245024

[Leslie Langford]

I agree with those who say that they would include dressing in sexy lingerie as part of the overall crossdressing experience. That includes items typically associated with what society has decided lies strictly within the feminine domain and comprises such things as high heels, sexy boots, skinny jeans, pantyhose, tights, leggings, all manner of traditionally female underwear and shape wear, not to mention evening gowns, prom dresses, and bridal dresses etc. I have purchased and worn all of the above as well to partake of this, and feel no shame over it.

That said, I have "0" desire to take pictures of myself wearing some of my more provocative or sexy items, never mind actually posting them for someone else's "viewing pleasure" (a big "yuck!" for all concerned, IMHO ;) ) This wearing of sexy or "uber-femmy" outfits is strictly a private matter and for personal consumption only as it borders on the fetishistic. This is nobody's business but my own, and most emphatically, not even my wife's - especially given the DADT relationship that I find myself in.

[Sandie70]

Personally, I don't have a body that I would inflict on anyone with me wearing sexy lingerie. What's the old joke: "I practice birth control by taking my clothes off." (lol) However, for sleeping, I find the feel of silky, sexy and cute baby doll lingerie quite pleasant. In my dreams I can be very tantalizing.

[Isabella Ross]

Candice...top marks for the best response so far. Jennifer, we usually agree on so much, but I think you're missing the point a little bit. I'm one of those girls who is largely in the closet...and probably going to stay that way for the most part. Consequently, photography for me is a form of expression and a way of seeking confirmation that I'm coming close to creating the illusion that we all strive for. Like many of us here, my earliest transgender experiences revolved around lingerie. So there will always be a soft spot in my heart to wear pretty, frilly things. And I do like to pose for the camera while doing this. But let's be clear...I'm not striving for smut. The last thing I would do is post photos that are clearly anything but tasteful. And nor do I want to view any photos that are less than tasteful. However, where I post (flickr), there are so many talented gurls posting very high quality, artistic photos of themselves in lingerie. I'm not ashamed to admit that I enjoy these photos...I enjoy the tasteful illusion and particularly those that reflect vintage or pinup looks.

More importantly, I know that I'm far from alone. Last September, I started a thread here titled "The Pinup Lingerie Challenge". Since that time, the thread has been viewed 16,627 times, with 248 responses (many of which contain photos from girls responding to the challenge). I don't know for sure, but I hazard a guess that this is one of the most popular threads in the history of this site. See it here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?219023-The-Pinup-Lingerie-Challenge-(or-can-we-just-have-a-little-fun-around-here-)&highlight=lingerie+challenge

I rest my case. Actually, not quite: I should include a photo while I'm at it. ;-)

245025

[Jean 103]

LOL, Really Jennifer, just own it, you comment on what the girls wear and how they present all the time. I’m bi, gay, whatever. I post pics for lots of reasons. Mostly just to show I was somewhere and how I looked for others to see for what ever their reason is for looking. I have sent some of the same pictures to my boyfriend (who is not on this site) that you would see as tame like last night with the beer girls, He is turned on by it. Of course he knows me, he’s my boyfriend get it. I have posted pics in a bikini, why to show I can. Again my boyfriend thinks they’re hot and a new friend from here that is in the closet had technical questions which I answered in a pm. Oh and I was at the beach yesterday in a new bikini working on my tan. There will be no pics, I got sand in my last camera and will not take my new camera on the beach. As I have said I go out a lot. Do people think I am a women, no they think I’m TS and gay, and I am fine with that. I have a good time.
Candice and Isablella nice pics
Just being Jean and loving it

[Barbara Jo]

there's nothing wrong with nudity, and nothing wrong with folks choosing to express themselves as they wish. your argument that lingerie is for attracting males is no different to people saying the same about CD'ers seeking to attract males, and equally specious.

our community is about inclusivity and acceptance, diversity and not judging others as to whether we'd be comfortable in their photos/clothes.

as to why they do it? so many possible motivations, seek to understand by asking openly rather than judgementally.

I agree.
I will just just add that lingerie is the most intimate and feminine of all female garments so, is it that strange that some wish to express and exposes their most feminine and yes, sexy female side?.

GGs come is all types and desires so, why would anyone expect all CDs to fit one narrow mold? :)

BTW, what business is anyone's sexual preferences here?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm reading a lot of SOUR GRAPES here!:doh:

If u look like a man in lingerie and/or don't like how u look, I'm sorry. But, that has nothing to do with me. I dress for me and I think I look very fem in lingerie or bikinis. If u don't think so, don't look at my pics!:tongueout
245027

I see the obvious man in a bikini/undies pics all over the internet. As a straight man, I simply move on as they don't do anything for me. I don't feel the need to criticize the posters, unless they send them to me!:thumbsdn:

[Rachael Leigh]

This is a good subject and since I'm one who has posted a few in my undies as it were, I have to say for me it's actually kind of scary right before I hit the button to post I think to myself should I do this will they laugh at my pictures or what.
I post them though as an expression of my enjoyment for this part of me. I don't want to attract men and it is a part of this experence we call crossdresding. I mean I actually do wear these items to bed many nights.
I really don't know all the whys but ones for sure is I feel safe posting them here. I Know I can't look sexy like a real GG in mine but I still enjoying my sharing here
Leigh

[Tracii G]

Freedom of expression is the way I look at it.
If you want to wear the sexy underthings and take/share pics then by all means do it,just post them on the appropriate web site.
I have done that in the past and have grown out of that phase in my TG ness.
Did I post pics like that to attract a man? In some ways maybe I did.
If done in good taste those kinds of sexy pics are fine.
The ones where the penis is prominent are not really what I would call good taste but then again some may think otherwise.

[Beverley Sims]

Jennifer,
Those with great bods are proud of what they can do and others I am sure have a particular bent.

I am sure there are 50 shades of straight out there. :)

[dazzed]

Why post them I couldn't say. However if the lingerie fits I enjoy looking. No matter who's wearing it. Panties are pretty they accentuate, comfy too when they fit.

[MissTee]

I feel posing/posting in lingerie is simply the freedom of individual expression. Also glad we have a forum for that. This from someone who does not take or post pictures. I will add that some here are very good at creating a stunning illusion of the femme form anywhere from fully clothed to scantily clad. I would never be able do that, but I do admire the expression of others who can.

[AmyGaleRT]

I don't do lingerie shots myself; the closest I've come is sharing a few pictures of me in a nightgown, which didn't show off anything "naughty" but still might be considered slightly "naughty." (And my fiancee would still flip if she knew I'd done so!)

I don't begrudge those that do post those pictures, though, even if they're not exactly my thing. If they're OK with showing off, it's their business, and some of them, I'll admit, look quite good in those pictures. Personally, I think I'm "showing off" enough just by posting pictures of myself fully dressed!

- Amy

[Barbara Black]

I don't see what the big deal is being made of this. We dress because of various reasons, and it is exciting to take pictures to see how we turned out, good or bad. Perhaps to show off a bit also when it works. Going further is just an extension of the excitement that we feel and attempt to verify. And as someone said, if you like, don't look.

[Fortuneta]

Kudos kudos Jennifer! I agree with you very much. I enjoy lingerie but do not wish to share that portion of me with others.
Fortuneta

[Barbara Dugan]

This is an interesting and honest question, I am going to answer it on an honest way..I am not straight and I used to post pictures online (no on this site) way more risque than a lingerie shot, my motivation was a form of validation if I could turn on and be desired by a guy then I was doing something right.
Now that I am on a monogamous relationship I dont have the need or desire to post that kind of pics anymore, by the way I still enjoy dressing sexy for my boyfriend but that is just between the two of us:battingeyelashes:

[Tracii G]

Exactly Barbara it should be a personal thing with your partner.
I think most grow out of posting pics like that.

[Gillian Gigs]

Let us face it, we are all sexual beings, where we are on the scale and how we see sexuality is the question. What is a turn on?? Well for some it could be that telltale touch of a lace bra that shows occasionally, or is it the lace trim on a slip that might show below a dress. Some like boobs, some like butts and others like legs, the turn on is different within social groups and cultures. In Africa it is nothing to see a woman breast feeding a baby, so legs are more of a focal point! So what floats your boat??? If it is lingerie, then lingerie shots are a turn on, but what if it is stocking covered legs? Should we stop someone showing photos of their legs? I think that the important question is, is it done tastefully. And yes I have seen some tacky photos on this site, but we have freedom, but let us remember that with freedom comes responcibility! In this case the responcibility to not be tacky!

[TinaZ]

My new ensemble. I hope it's not too revealing.

245048

[Jeanettew]

why do I wear some lovely lingerie it is because I feel very good wearing it and I am not doing it to attract a man, far from it, and as I like to wear a dress from time to time I think it finishes it of and make me feel good.

[LaurenNZ]

Well said Isabella – I can easily align myself with your comments. Like you, I use photography to portray my ‘in the closet’ persona to gain some sense of confirmation/acceptance of who I am. If I choose to use lingerie photos I ensure they are tasteful and appropriate to the site I am posting too. Luckily most of us have the right to post and to view whatever we like – just as we can choose what sort of persona we want to portray. God help us if we ever lost the choice!!
To each his/her own.

LaurenNZ

[Sierra_juliette]

I have wondered this as well but from an SO's perspective in a way.

To me, this toes the line of cheating if the person posting the lingerie pictures is in a relationship. So it makes me wonder how their SO would feel. I would never share pictures of myself in lingerie, that is reserved for private life moments and would expect the same courtesy from my SO. I can only imagine how upsetting it would be to find out such pictures were shared with others.

I have posted pictures of new outfits or hair/makeup for feedback from friends on social media and can understand those types of pictures but again would never post lingerie pictures.

I do understand those who say they want feedback or opinions her I feel that if this is the case it should be shared with close friends that you can trust the opinions of, not on display for the entire world.

[Teresa]

Sierra,
Do you you consider CDers using this forum as cheating on their partners if they don't know ?
I sometimes feel guilty what I've said on the this site and posted pictures I would never have dreamed of at one time ! In the process I have manged to deal with issues of acceptance and understanding ! The unkind comments are as important as the hand on the shoulder friend !
I thought very hard about posting pictures but it has proved to be away of being comfortable with who I am, I'm now not ashamed of what I look like dressed and have shown people to give them a clearer picture of what CDing means to me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, I don't post pictures of me in lingerie but the illusion in the mirror is what it is about for me.:daydreaming:

[Launa]

Who says some one that was born "male" can not look good in lingerie?
245024

Yes Candice, your right here but remember most of us don't look like you. A certain small percentage can pull this off but for the majority its a big no.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Seems to me like judgment knows no boundries. You can try to argue the OP was not judging but the very nature of the question and follow on statements shows otherwise.
Seems to me its about somebody saying their way of crossdressing is better than somebody elses. That is the implication of the OP regardless of what was intended.

Would you like reading a thread of a cisgender male complaining and wondering why crossdressers feel the need to emulate women and walk around malls?
I bet a nickel you would be quite put off.

The OP claims that dressing is not provocative...Many people would argue a man emulating a woman down to heels makeup and pantyhose is quite provocative. Who gets to draw that line?? Are you saying its you, not them?
It doesn't work that way.

Some CD's like lingerie, some like to try to pass, some like to go out, some don't, some like posting pictures, some don't. There is nothing more to it unless you want to make judgments about these differences.

[sometimes_miss]

Briefly, I think the reason that a CD'er might post in sexy lingerie can simply be the same reason young women do it (look at all the hot babe pics on flickr and tumblr for example). It makes them feel good. Remember that a whole lot of men here don't understand why they want to crossdress; whether it's because they really don't understand the dynamics of it, or if they don't WANT to accept the reason because we were all brought up in such a society that tells us that for men, it's better to be dead than feminine. I know plenty of women who wear men's work clothing. I don't give them a hassle about it. And so, I don't expect them to give me a hassle if I want to wear sexy female clothing. No, I never post pics. I don't feel the need to. But to paraphrase another famous quote I will defend to the death the right of others to do so if they so desire. Living in a free society is the best thing we have in our lives. Making it truly free for all of us to do what we like (as long as it doesn't impinge on the rights of others) without being criticized about it, is the eventual final step, and I truly hope we reach that before the U.S. implodes from all the evil greedy @$$h01e$ that are making it unstable.

[Rhonda Jean]

I like the lingerie pics. I'd much rather see a pic of an attractive cd in lingerie than a woman. That said...


To me, this toes the line of cheating if the person posting the lingerie pictures is in a relationship. So it makes me wonder how their SO would feel. I would never share pictures of myself in lingerie, that is reserved for private life moments and would expect the same courtesy from my SO. I can only imagine how upsetting it would be to find out such pictures were shared with others.

This is a very important point. I'm not married, but back when I was I still liked the lingerie pics, and took a ton of them of myself. I did not identify as gay back then and would have never cheated on my wife with anyone. Sierra is precisely right, it toes the line. It's soft porn. In fact it's gay soft porn, if there is such a thing. It's probably no more and certainly no less cheating than any other porn, including strip clubs. To me, it's "safe cheating". Nothing's really going to happen physically. It's fantasy. To some, fantasizing about someone else is cheating. When you consider the gay element, that probably ramps up the severity of it. I'm sure that spouses have different levels of tolerance for all of it.

Most of us hold our deepest fantasies very private. It's debatable if theses deeply held private fantasies or tendencies are our true selves. Probably varies. I might publicly claim that something doesn't effect me or even that I'm put off by it while privately and maybe ashamedly being turned on by it. You can't lie to yourself forever.

Several years ago I saw a performance by a male belly dancer. It was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen! He wore the costume and makeup of a woman and looked like a woman. An absolutely stunning woman. But, to me it was far more erotic because I knew he wasn't a woman. It was very interesting to see the reaction of the husbands and boyfriends in the audience. I strongly suspect that their private reaction was much different than their public reaction.

It's undeniable that there's an erotic or sexual aspect to what we do. When you're married, that's very complicated and it's rarely dealt with honestly and openly. A person who is as honest as the day is long about everything else in their lives will lie about this stuff. I'm not sure it's not better that way. I tend to think it is.

[Sierra_juliette]

I don't consider using this forum an act of cheating. Now with that said I would obviously say that some of the friendships that develop may toe that line. My view on lingerie is solely based on my view of how it would be swapped. If the CDers wife were to take and post such pictures for others I can't imagine it would be a happy event in most cases (of course there are always exceptions).

[Nadine Spirit]

Wow Jennifer, you hit a nerve! Personally I agree with you. Though I will say that on a couple of my blog posts I have shown myself in my bra in an attempt to allow people to see what I do to create my decolletage. Even then though I felt extremely self conscious, as I don't want folks to take it the wrong way.



To me, this toes the line of cheating if the person posting the lingerie pictures is in a relationship. So it makes me wonder how their SO would feel. I would never share pictures of myself in lingerie, that is reserved for private life moments and would expect the same courtesy from my SO. I can only imagine how upsetting it would be to find out such pictures were shared with others.




Do you you consider CDers using this forum as cheating on their partners if they don't know ?


I have made my "radical" views quite public here. I think that if you are not willing to share with your spouse what you are up to, in terms of posting pictures, and having conversations with folks, it makes it rather suspect. No, I don't share every single tiny little thing I do with my wife, but I would never have a problem with sharing any of it.

[Di]

If you re-read my post, you will see that I wrote lingerie is "traditionally" worn by women to turn on their man. Denying that truth is putting one's head in the sand.


I wear lingerie for me ....and me only:devil: just something special about knowing that beneath my ordinary clothing, I am wearing something outrageous. It changes my posture and my attitude and I know that nobody is in on the secret but me.BUT as far as pictures....we have taken them of each other ....I see it as being empowered and I feel pretty. Nothing racy or sexual.....sexual to me is skin on skin.

I get you think it is only for turning on a man....because thats the way YOU think of it.
There are things I do not get-
like
1.undressing ( nothing wrong with it.... do not care either way ....I just do not get it.
2.your saying dude in a dress....again that is how you see it...you can think of yourself any way you want.( but I did not marry a dude in a dress)

But just trying to say to each their own and everyone has their own ...TRUTH and the way they see things. So maybe for some it is a turn on but for others it might be just how they want to express or see themselves or maybe just maybe .... like me makes me feel empowered.


Denying that truth is putting one's head in the sand. well your truth is NOT everyones truth.....not everything is black and white.

[Meg East]

I have wondered this as well but from an SO's perspective in a way.

To me, this toes the line of cheating if the person posting the lingerie pictures is in a relationship. So it makes me wonder how their SO would feel. I would never share pictures of myself in lingerie, that is reserved for private life moments and would expect the same courtesy from my SO. I can only imagine how upsetting it would be to find out such pictures were shared with others.

I have posted pictures of new outfits or hair/makeup for feedback from friends on social media and can understand those types of pictures but again would never post lingerie pictures.

I do understand those who say they want feedback or opinions her I feel that if this is the case it should be shared with close friends that you can trust the opinions of, not on display for the entire world.

Agreed, today it's far too easy to break boundaries and violate the trust of your SO. If you are posting pictures across the internet you are outing not only yourself but your spouse and family.

[Isabella Ross]

Two quick points:

First, I find it ironic that, as a group, we are struggling to have the general public be more tolerant, open-minded and accepting of transgenderism. Yet some of us seem to fairly close-minded in terms of accepting ourselves and our bodies in this context (posting tasteful photos of ourselves in lingerie) and would even go so far as to "police" this activity. It's 2015...are we really still this hung up?

Second, this entire issue of "cheating" by posting otherwise tasteful photos. Why would anyone (Meg, Nadine, Sierra) immediately assume that any of us who do this are doing so in secret, without disclosing to wives? I do agree that, ethically, posting photos in secret could be an issue (although cheating is just a little too much). That's why my wife sees every single last photo that I post. Period.

[Nadine Spirit]

Did you read what I actually posted? I never assumed any such thing.


I think that if you are not willing to share with your spouse what you are up to, in terms of posting pictures, and having conversations with folks, it makes it rather suspect.

[Candice Mae]

Yes Candice, your right here but remember most of us don't look like you. A certain small percentage can pull this off but for the majority its a big no.

If you were born male and are not transitioning or planing on transitioning and you look like me I suggest you see a doctor.


I wear lingerie for me ....and me only:devil: just something special about knowing that beneath my ordinary clothing, I am wearing something outrageous. It changes my posture and my attitude and I know that nobody is in on the secret but me.BUT as far as pictures....we have taken them of each other ....I see it as being empowered and I feel pretty. Nothing racy or sexual.....sexual to me is skin on skin.

I get you think it is only for turning on a man....because thats the way YOU think of it.

I feel great wearing lingerie as well, its not always the most comfortable to wear but seeing my SOs reaction and the excitement on her face. It makes me feel comfortable and embrace my female sexuality.

[ReineD]

It's undeniable that there's an erotic or sexual aspect to what we do. When you're married, that's very complicated and it's rarely dealt with honestly and openly.

Well said, Rhonda.

There is no issue when lingerie photos are taken to just be shared with our partners. Doing this is a lot of fun. Or, if the couple is a bit more adventuresome, they both agree they will each put up their photos for the public to admire.

The issue is when it is erotic for the CD partner and he shares it hoping it will be erotic for the male onlookers, while his wife is wringing her hands in agony.

I think that motive is key to all of this. And usually, the motive shines through when you consider the choice of poses, setting, shot angle, etc.

[Chrissi]

Well I know you directed this at the "straights" but I wear lingerie for my MAN! and he loves me in CFM's and lacey topped stockings suspended by garters and a sexy matching bustier and panty set. With or without forms...and he loves me just as much when it all comes off too ;)

[Jenniferathome]

Well, I kicked this off but after 80 or so posts, I find it interesting that only four brave souls actually answered it. Thank you Leigh, Barbara M and Tracii G and Starlight. The question I posed was NOT about wearing something, nor was it about the right or wrong about wearing something. It was about the WHY of posting such an intimate photo. It was simply a curiosity that begged the question. A few brave women jumped on board with Sierra-Juliette bringing a rather unique view on this. One I had not considered at all. Thanks for that.

To those who jumped on the "fashion police" train, that was never a ride I intended anyone to take. I didn't write it, I didn't imply it, nor did I intend it. But, the derailing did make for some fun for some.

And Chrissi, it was aimed at the straights, but your perspective is welcome, as always. Still, I can't help but notice that you are not posting pictures of that rather intimate scene either.... ;-)

[ClosetED]

I recall one set of pics posted in the Picture Gallery that the person asked if it was too risque. They were boudoir shots but PG13. They were marvelous images of an older woman showing her beauty. So what is the person's purpose? As it was said, we post to get validation of our own self-image we create. We want to appear feminine - be that in the many situatons woman may be found in - office, house, street, club, stage, or in bedroom. Many here cannot pull off the bedroom feminine look, so do not post it. Or if they do take their own bedroom pics, choose not to share that self-image. Those that do, may feel either confident in that presentation and want to share that success, or they may be turned on by having others see them in that situation. You could find a thread and ask the poster why they did it. But your post did get many to speak up, which is why we are here.
Hugs, Ellen

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Jenn,
I totally understand your POV about this, me ... personally ... I don't even own any lingerie to take pics with!
That being said, If I did, and took pics of me in them, I wouldn't feel comfortable posting them here.
Thankfully this forum has a designated area for posting these "provocative" pics, if your curious, it's there for
easy viewing.
Why do people post such pics? This is a cross dressing site! Lingerie is a girl thing, So "we" wear it. Lingerie, as others have
pointed out, is worn to attract the attention, or excite, a mate. Unless you've missed a few days around here, many here find this to
be a sexually based experience. Posting pics of themselves in their finest satin and lace is an outlet for that.
After posting said pics, they WILL get compliments, regardless of your, or my opinion, and that is soooo validating that this thread
will not stop anyone from continuing to post lingerie pics.
Just to clarify my view on lingerie pics..... I have no problem with anyone doing their own thing here, I've never seen anything here that would
be better posted to a porn site (BRAVO MODS)

Jenn, what might happen if you came across a set of polka dot lingerie? Ha Ha!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Chrissi]

...
And Chrissi, it was aimed at the straights, but your perspective is welcome, as always. Still, I can't help but notice that you are not posting pictures of that rather intimate scene either.... ;-)

Hi Jennifer, that is true and by design. Of course I could post pictures, but I chose not to out of respect for the members here, who I have learned are indeed mostly straight. But primarily, those pictures are for my bf are intimate and well, that is what I really like about this site, it is decidedly not a cheap thrill, sort of site. This site is about the feelings, the clothes, the makeup, the emotions and the support and acceptance that we share and seek, whether we are crossdressers, transgender, in transition, or have transitioned. Those looking for that tittilation, generally don't register or move on to other sites that will satisfy their arousal needs.

But perhaps my perspective may help here a little too. I, as a gay man, for one have no interest in seeing the scantilly lingerie clad of us posting pictures. Whether and especially if passable, all the way to the other spectrum of a hairy bear of a man in panties and a bra. I love the clothes, and the outfits and the styles and the tips and courage that we as gurls and women are able to put together. Now if the pictures were of hot guys in speedos, or sexy underwear...let's talk! but then I already have access to those sites on my own (-; big hugs and great topic!
Chrissi

[melanie206]

To me, it's a sort of erotic craft. Not quite art. We love our clothes and lingerie and go to great efforts to look good in them so creating a record of that and sharing that little spark is what it's about for me. The internet creates a confluence of social anonymity and collaboration for those with specialized interests. I'm taking advantage of that.

[NicoleScott]

The questions are not about why we wear lingerie nor why we take pics, but about posting them. Why, for whom, and to achieve what goal?
Why? Not to be flippant, but simply so others can see them. Something I can't do in person without revealing my real identity.
For whom? Anyone who finds them interesting, to include like-minded crossdressers, men, and interested women. I've had chats with people just wanting to understand what drives me. (my answer: I don't know, not really.)
To achieve what goal? As others have said, to get compliments, acknowledgement, validation, etc. Plus, as Melanie said (just above) "collaboration for those with specialized interests". What this means to me, at the risk of misinterpreting Melanie's words, connecting (without physically meeting) people whose specific interests are aligned with those displayed in my pics, for the purpose of discussion. As a crossdresser with interests much more specialized than general transformation, I like to discuss those special interests with those who either like them (admirers) or do them (other CDers). For some, it's lingerie, and for others, it's something else.
Jennifer should understand this. I have read many posts complimenting her on her appearance and her style: conservative dress, knee length or just above, sensible shoes, cardigan sweater, minimal makeup. It's a look that many other CDers like and hope to achieve, like a woman shopping at the mall or picking her kids up from school without anyone thinking it "incongruous". It would be hard to believe that she doesn't get the same lift from those compliments that others get from their lingerie pics.
Of course, it IS incongruous, but Jennifer thinks men in lingerie is more or MOST incongruous. So we just differ by degrees of incongruity.
Other people are more interested in pics showing different styles. Nothing wrong with that. When I come across a pic that contains nothing particularly interesting to me, I move on to the next.
For some, it's that MOST INCONGRUOUS look that they find interesting, erotic, etc.

Finally, it might be time to re-write the dictionaries, if cheating is posting a pic on the internet without your wife's knowledge. Come on.

[ReineD]

Finally, it might be time to re-write the dictionaries, if cheating is posting a pic on the internet without your wife's knowledge. Come on.

If the motive is erotic, hoping that others will find the pic erotic, with all the actions that might ensue (use your imagination), then I can see where a partner might wish all this sexual energy not be focused outside the marriage. I agree though, people can also post pics to seek affirmation or they simply wish to share their craft without having any erotic component. Motive is key and I think this is what matters to wives who might feel cheated on.

[Dutchess]

Once again I agree with Reine.
I know some of you have seen my latest rant about my home life in the loved ones section but besides my horses I am a published ( not pro but published ) photographer and my husband has me take 1000's of shots of him in lingerie for him to post on his Flickr site for his fan club he refuses to acknowledge that I know about to oogle over and LOVES to read the comments. Then when they write to him in our email box with the prefix Re: in the heading he denies he has ever had correspondence with them it almost makes me laugh.
I've even offered to get him a pretty young rent boy to do whatever with but he refuses.
If I do not take these pics life becomes a nitemare.. and there is a poster here who is right about not having pics all over the net .. someone all the way back in Holland saw one online somehow , recognized him and printed out I don't know how many and STAPLED them to trees all over the 3 small cities in the area he came from. This was recently, I haven't heard the end of that yet . His brothers are totally humiliated . I usually sign my work . Thank goodness I don't on these .

I asked him once who does he expect will be looking at these ?? Women?? He said well I hoped I would get compliments from women on how good I looked or something to that effect . On FLickr?? in the Adult sections?? I told him good luck with that .

[emma30]

Jennifer you opened a can of worms on this one, the question is a good one and I have always been a live and let live kinda person but I get your point. I think people have a different perspective on their own image than that of others but I believe some cd ers truly want to be attractive to others in that way and some don't, some believe they look gorgeous and good on them if they can be emotionally satisfied, as for me well I would need to much plastic surgery lol 😉
Emma x

[Clodagh]

We can only give our own approaches to this because as I have learned cross dressing is something different to everyone.

I have no difficulty with taking lingerie photos, indeed I have done it myself, but as with all cross dressing I don't see the point of it unless you make the effort to look your best. There are strict rules as to what you can post on this forum and I accept that, it's a big Internet out there and there are plenty of places for those photos. That said there should be a place for tasteful and convincing lingerie shots because rare and all as they may be, they do exist.

[TinaZ]

Well, I kicked this off but after 80 or so posts, I find it interesting that only four brave souls actually answered it. ...

To those who jumped on the "fashion police" train, that was never a ride I intended anyone to take. I didn't write it, I didn't imply it, nor did I intend it. But, the derailing did make for some fun for some.

Jennifer – Instead of saying I believe your posts are judgmental and sometimes flat-out mean, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and consider you legitimately do not know how you’re coming off to most of us.

I feel safe with “most of us” because, in your own words, merely four posts in 80-plus attended to the topic you believed you presented. Most of the rest of us responded to the “fashion police” angle. So you must ask yourself – are most of the rest of us reading impaired? Or is it possible your words sound judgmental and condescending?

I’ll present my evidence, then offer you the floor.

You innocently claim only to being curious as to why someone would post a lingerie photo. However, in asking the question, you included these things: “I can't really think of a sight more incongruous than a man in lingerie” and “ … the vast majority of us claim to be straight.”

To me, those two statements are akin to, “Your lingerie pics are ugly” and “I question your proclaimed sexuality.” And if only four posts saw past those types of phrases, I’m very safe in assuming I am not alone.

If you’re innocently curious about why a CD would post a lingerie picture, why not just ask that?

“Hey all – I see some of you post lingerie shots. Can you tell me why?”

See? You’re not describing the pictures (“a sight more incongruous”) and you leave people’s sexuality out of a question where it doesn’t belong.

Later, you made this claim:

“Nowhere did I suggest I am the police nor did I tell anyone they can or can not (sic) wear a, b, or c.”

Except the problem is, you DO suggest you are the police, and you DO make many declarative statements about what a crossdresser should wear and how a crossdresser should behave.

Your words: “By the way, lingerie is by it's (sic) nature provocative and sexual. Cross dressing is not.”

Your words: “We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less.”

Both of these are your OPINIONS about crossdressing. Can you see how you present them as declarations? You are proclaiming those as true, thus declaring dissenting opinion as false.

It comes off (again, seemingly to most people here based on the responses) as:

“Crossdressing is not sexual! I have proclaimed it!”

“Crossdressers need MORE coverage, not less. I have proclaimed it!”

Yeah … You don’t get to decide those things. Sorry.

As a suggestion, what you could do is start rereading your stuff before clicking the submit button, and when you find a declarative statement, couch it with something clarifying that it’s your opinion. Trust me, it would go a long way.

Something like: “By the way, I think lingerie is by its nature provocative and sexual. But to me, cross dressing is not.” Or, “In my opinion, we cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less.”

Both of those sentences keep your meaning, but don’t slam the door in the face of anyone who disagrees with it.

Speaking of opinions, I have received private messages from dozens of people here thanking me for directly challenging your proclamations. To many, your words come off exactly as I’ve described here. In other words, I'm not alone in what I'm sharing right now, and even the responses to this thread underscore that sentiment.

It may be that you don’t give a rat’s patoot about what I think, or what the dozens of others who’ve contacted me think, and that’s your prerogative; but if I started a thread and only a small number of people understood my point, instead of blaming everyone else for not reading my words correctly, I’d give serious contemplation to the way I’m presenting myself. As in, it might be time for you to think, maybe it’s not everyone else. Maybe it’s me.

[PaulaQ]

On occasion, some members choose to share photos of themselves in lingerie. I can't really think of a sight more incongruous than a man in lingerie but I am curious as to why these photos are posted. The reason I am caused to ponder this is that the vast majority of us claim to be straight. Not "mostly" straight, just plain old straight. That being the case, what is the goal of such a photo? Lingerie is traditionally something worn by a woman to turn on her man (and ladies, it works).

Ironically enough, Jennifer, it is actually more incongruous to see a guy in a dress complaining about men in lingerie. That you don't see this speaks volumes about you as a person. I think it's a good thing that you've resolved, in your mind, that what you do to express your feminine side, your crossdressing, is normal from your perspective. You understand though, right, that the rest of the world doesn't really see it that way, and probably doesn't distinguish between you in a dress, and another man in lingerie?

While typing this, I realized that I almost never wear lingerie anymore. My poor, deprived boyfriend!

Oh, and to answer the question at hand, as asked. I never share lingerie photos here or on an internet forum. I have texted them to my boyfriend, because I believe all of us should do something idiotic via text messages that we'll later really regret! So I guess I fall into the "something worn by a woman to turn on her man" camp. ;)

[Katey888]

Can only see this going in one direction now...

Thanks for everyone's contributions - any lingerie photo-posters feeling left out can always PM Jenniferathome with their thoughts or reasons.

Thread closed.

Katey
Moderator