transition and life and whatnot

[Badtranny]

I have had some free time over the last few weeks.

Though I've been away from the forum for a year or so, I still managed to pop in and read on occasion, but I've been popping in a lot more of late.

I never made a conscious decision to stop posting here, it just kind of happened that way. My transition (despite apparent efforts to redefine the word) was basically done with the name and gender change back in 2012, but I'm still dealing with the persistent wobbliness that such a dramatic life change tends to cause. I recently realized that my career has been impacted far beyond what I originally thought it had been or would be.

To summarize, 2014 was a rough damn year.

Anyhoo, I have some time to get my head straight before I get back to work so I'll very likely be a fixture here again for awhile.

I suppose one could say that "the bitch is back"?

:-)

- m

[kimdl93]

Hi Mel! So good to see you again. Tell us more!

[AllieSF]

Nope! The "Bitch" is not back, Melissa is. Welcome back and enjoy your stay. See what happens when you get so bored at home? You look for outside entertainment. Here we are. Let's have some fun.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I don't mean to pry, but what were the effects of transition on your career? If you are not comfortable talking about it, please disregard. Thanks, Shibumi

[Jennifer-GWN]

Melissa;

I'd be very interested in the work issues that you had. I'm about to pull that trigger with HR myself and could use the minefield guidance. This is area is a big one to address and in many of our cases bigger than our general public side beyond family.

Happy for a pm.

Cheers... Jennifer

[Zooey]

So sorry to hear things have been rough, but glad you're back!

[Badtranny]

thanks girls.

I'm happy to talk about whatever. That's why I'm back. My blog is a testament to my willingness to be 100% embarrassingly honest.

I'll be addressing my transition issues as I'm inspired to do so in the coming weeks. I don't want to just unload in a single long ass post. :-)

- m

[Leah Lynn]

Glad to see you back. Believe it or not, you have been missed!

Leah

[emma5410]

Welcome back. It is a lot more interesting when you are around.

[ReineD]

Glad you're back, Misty. :)

[Rianna Humble]

I suppose one could say that "the bitch is back"?

You only put that in so I'd have something to disagree with :heehee:

[jaleecd]

You are like an old friend resurfacing after a long bleak winter. Your candor and life experience is like a peak behind the forbidden curtains. I enjoy your hard gained no B.S. honesty about the trans. experience is priceless.
Those of you who are molding your bodys to congruence with your minds have my sincere admiration for taking thr steps to find your spot of reality and peace....

[BOBBI G.]

Welcome home. Reading your posts is similar to having a friend over for a chat and a cup of coffee, or whatever. Your writing style is casual and a pleasure to read, and at 5:30 AM, coffee is the way to enjoy you.

Bobbi

[STACY B]

I hear ya girl, Yea I do the same crap, Come an go, Respond an then be silent. Feel ya on the Rough year, This whole deal is Bad, Transition I mean. People just don't get it an it sucks. Boy how I long for the Good Old Crossdressing easy days of just buying an wearing clothes an shoes, Never had to deal with all the Bull.

CD's just don't know how Good they got it? After you bite the Bullet an end up on the TS side of the tracks it gets real FAST. Going to the Therapist is great don't get me wrong and getting a true gender specialist help is great but what most don't realize is there just a cheerleader you pay to help you through this an it's not a real life experiences and you can't bring them with you through life to explain your problem to everyone.
Truth is No one wants to deal with things that don't directly affect them day to day. First thing I noticed is when someone finds out it's always the same crap. Weak, Gay, Sissy, On an on an on. I just don't get why people think once you come out or start changing you automaticly turn into a totally different person in all aspects? Like our Brains stop working.

Yea I am not down playing it and I might be wrong I have said it before that all transition are different for different reasons, People, Places, Some blow through this crap with ease. Some have Major problems, Some are so so.

An I feel you on the effects of Life,Jobs,Just general everyday life, We can only excuse ourselves from the outside events of our lives an hide in an altered universe for so long an there is a time we have to step out into the regular folks world an be Judged. And it Sucks Big Time. Sometimes I think that maybe staying a Drunk would have been easier? At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too. Look at me writing a long post an you said you weren't going to,lol,, Guess I am just glad to see you back. You give the Real Life advice that people who live in fantasy land don't want to hear, Maybe that's just what I need to see an hear from this place more to keep my butt on track an not get my head screwed up.

I am just saying that this being the TS section that playing dress up in the real world don't cut it. I come here for support an a kick in the real life pants. An you give said kick, Maybe it's not always pointed my way but if I am walking along those lines maybe it will touch me indirectly? Just reading the words an opinions from the Vets here is very valuable to me. Almost like reading reviews from some products. Welcome home Kid ! :thumbsup:

[Rogina B]

I am quite sure that you are good at what you do as you have some longevity in your industry. It twerks me when" non accepting people " are able to inflict harm and do damage to us for being different. I hope you can find a progressively minded company in your future so you will be with people that "get it" irregardless of whether they work in an office or on a jobsite..All the best,Ro

[Amy Fakley]

Oh wow, I missed your posts too, though I rarely respond to threads in this section. Your fresh, always-kept-real perspective is a tremendous contribution to the community.

I hope 2015 is a whole lot better for you.

[PaulaQ]

Welcome back, Misty. I'm sorry to hear about your career. Even where you live, I'd think the industry you are in is not an easy one for women like us.

[Laura912]

Welcome back. I missed that two edged verbal sword you slung about, especially when I agreed with you.

[Nigella]

As you know the door is always open, when you pop through is up to you :)

[Janelle_C]

Hi Melissa
I also have been away for a while. This was my lifeline for so long. But once my transition was in full swing. My life was so busy. And the need for all that support was a lot less. I was very fortunate my family and friends have been very supportive. But I do miss coming here and being supportive to other people that need it. And let's faces it this is not a easy journey even when you are fortunate enough to have a lot of support. I also hope to be spending a little more time here.
Janelle

[kathtx]

Hey, welcome back!

[Badtranny]

awwww, you girls are gonna make me cry ...and F up my rep.

I don't think I'm the same person anymore, I hope I don't let you guys down. :-)

- m

[Barbara Ella]

Glad to see you back. Always enjoyed your posts,and missed them. Life comes and goes and posting here is not always at the forefront of what one wishes to accomplish at the moment. Always enjoy coming back and posting after a time away, hope you will also.

Hugs, Barbara

[Kaitlyn Michele]

awwww, you girls are gonna make me cry ...and F up my rep.

I don't think I'm the same person anymore, I hope I don't let you guys down. :-)

- m

Melissa we never knew you!!!! :doh:

[Badtranny]

Melissa we never knew you!!!! :doh:

Not true Kait, I've been more honest as 'badtranny' (here as well as my blog) than I've ever been anywhere else.

I may not share everything, but what I do share is 100% on the real. Always have always will.

Yes I know that rhymed, I'm a poet dammit.

- m

[HelenR2]

There is a really nice touch of 'the real world' running right through this thread.
A touch of 'Yeah, life sucks. Now pull up your big girl's drawers and get on with it'.
This is something that you don't, and won't, often find in the crossdressing section and that is a damn shame. We need to say and hear truths because bs just doesn't cut it.
Thank you all.
Oh..... and hello Melissa.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Not true Kait, I've been more honest as 'badtranny' (here as well as my blog) than I've ever been anywhere else.

I may not share everything, but what I do share is 100% on the real. Always have always will.

Yes I know that rhymed, I'm a poet dammit.

- m

oops
that was kind of my point...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5818102

i'm glad to hear that despite any issues you are still up and running..

[Jorja]

Well, there goes the neighborhood! ;)

Welcome back, Misty!

[Angela Campbell]

It was so much more interesting when you were here, I am glad to see you back.

[Rachel Smith]

Welcome back. Stone cold sober as a matter of fact

[Jason+]

Good to see you back for me too! Yours has been an inspirational voice whether it agrees with me or not along with your insistence on doing it the way that's right for you and damn the torpedoes!

[PretzelGirl]

Glad to see you back Misty! I had just asked about you with another member that was seeing you. But we need all viewpoints. Without that, we have no thinking as there is only one thing to think about. I hope the bad 2014 is getting behind you and things are on the upswing.

[Starling]

I missed you too, Melissa. Glad you're back in town.

:) Lallie

[Amanda22]

I'm very glad you're back. You've challenged my thinking, rather than flatter me, and I find that most helpful of all. Thank you and please post frequently. I also take vacations from this site as well.

[Nicole Erin]

yeah you need breaks sometimes from here. One can read the same stuff only so many times. You aint missed much.
Some got in fights with their families, more wives left, some people grew boobs, some CD's found out they were really TS, others are nervous about going to work as a tranny, and some of the new full-timers wallow in self-pity after their first experience of being laughed at by a group of teenage girls.

Same ol same ol...

For work, not sure what you do but yeah things will get better. There comes a point when neither you nor anyone else even cares about your gender status. At that point, you get bored with the same questions we get asked at times (when people even bother asking), the laughing teenage girls just becomes a brief nuisance instead of a soul-crushing experience...

One other thing happens a lot around here that is good to see - all the full-timers eventually do get their life to that boring place called "normal". Will people still hate at times? Do we care? Hell no...

As for you Melissa, despite that you think you are struggling, you are WAY further than you think. The worst is yet to come though - that boring spot called "normal".

[ReineD]

Erin, why is "normal" boring? I should think it is a relief for a person who has GD.

[Marleena]

Welcome Back Melissa! Yes you were missed. You keep me on my toes that's for sure.

[Cindy J Angel]

So glad that your back as a new ts it hard ti get the truth somtime. So have a fun day love cindy

[whowhatwhen]

I always wondered what happened to the Queen B...
Welcome back :P

[Michelle789]

Misty, welcome back!!!

[MsMargaret]

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Back here where we need ya)

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/welcomebackkotterlyrics.html

[Badtranny]

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/welcomebackkotterlyrics.html

That is one of my all time favorite songs. Loved that show when I was a kid, though I didn't fully appreciate it like I can now.

[STACY B]

Show Love me some Horshack ,,lol,,,,

[whowhatwhen]

^^^ I think the politically correct term is now "brothels"...
;)

[SuzanneS]

I love reading your posts, Melissa! I love your blog, too....although both your blog and posting here has been few and far between lately. You are great! Glad to have you back here, can't wait to hear more...

Suzanne