if it makes you happy, do it.

[pamela7]

this i feel is the inevitable conclusion, i'm simply happier dressed en-femme, and therefore it's how i present to the world. if the world does not like it, then the world can take a running jump ...

the ancient greeks, romans, saxons, vikings fought in skirts (or naked), enough said!

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I'm confused, does this mean your going to start going around naked?:daydreaming:

[Laura912]

(Sounds of battle, gnashing of swords, men yelling). "Lars, I yust luv dot skirt. Vere did you get it?"

[Beverley Sims]

I always do something that makes me happy. :)

Sometimes I slip up or go too far.

Just don't get caught in the euphoria of the occasion.

[Bria]

Laura, you made me laugh! Thanks.

Hugs, Bria

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I read this without my glasses and thought para two began 'the ancient geeks'... of which I am apparently one, though with some Viking blut forsooth, being slightly Swedishy.

[Sarah-RT]

It makes me happy so I do it, but doing it sometimes makes me unhappy and that's the catch 22

[Bobbi46]

as you say then the world can take a running jump but this sometimes does not work as one can in some instantses be isolated beleive me i have been there

[Teresa]

Pamela,
Your comments stem from an accepting family, so it's easier for you to follow that route !
My family all know now but I'm not going to tell them to take a running jump if they don't like what I do I value them too much ! I admit being happier dressed and I'm pushing to be more open but you have to consider other people that are too close to hurt !

[pamela7]

Linda, yes, been doing that (nudity) a lot longer than CD; imo nudity is only an issue for people brought up to be prudish, though it is helpful to be well endowed, which I'm not particularly, but that's another whole subject, likely to stray off CD/TG-world!

Teresa: why are they "hurt"? are you hurt by women wearing trousers, having jobs, not looking after the home, playing golf, ....? it's only clothes, and frankly they should all grow up and realise the sheer stupidity of their petty lives if they're having the hump over your choice of attire.

[Teresa]

Pamela,
You know that's a naive question, there are undertones to our dressing that some may not like, OK we can't help what they think and sadly a few have true experiences that proves their point ! Not all CDers are good honest people we have to consider that before telling everyone to take a running jump !
The internet is a powerful tool and very persuasive , just look at the images that come up by simply typing in," crossdressers "

[sometimes_miss]

thought para two began 'the ancient geeks'..
I read it the same way! I guess I'm spending way too much time on [H] forum.
That said, I spend almost all my time at home as a girl. Feels right....do it. Painting my nails right now in between replying to threads. Today's color? OPI's come to poppy, a sort of coral pink.

[reb.femme]

...Teresa: why are they "hurt"? are you hurt by women wearing trousers, having jobs, not looking after the home, playing golf, ....? it's only clothes, and frankly they should all grow up and realise the sheer stupidity of their petty lives if they're having the hump over your choice of attire.

I understand what you are saying Pamela but that is an extremely simplistic solution and taking no account of others' feelings. We know from the many grown up and educated GG's on here that life is not quite like that. Moreover, because someone objects to anything, how does this automatically make their lives petty?

I'm sure the proceeds from armed bank robbery could make me happy, but I shall not be doing that. However, I'll go with the wearing of a skirt or dress argument.

Rebecca

[Tina_gm]

Pamela, I am quite sure that most GG's on here and anywhere who are with TG partners will strongly disagree with you about "it's just clothes" I am not in any way singling you out, or even making a suggestion about you in anyway, but just in general, the complaints about CDers from their GG partners is typically based not on the clothing alone, but of the behaviors, cost, secrecy, lies and selfishness that often accompanies many who CD.

Secondly, at least with regards to my own situation, I have to think about the impact dressing would have with my kids, family, friends, work and of course, my wife. Saying that if shouldn't have a negative impact, and that society is wrong doesn't make the negative impact go away. If my kids get bullied, picked on relentlessly, made to feel bad, left out.... If an adult version happens with my wife, if there is serious discomfort at work, if my ailing mother has to now process so much that she will never understand, other friends who will be made to feel like they have to choose me or other friends, really put in the middle, plus not knowing something about someone they know, and readjusting to it all.... A lot to consider of all the other people in my wife.

Yes, I can tell any and all that it shouldn't be this way. They shouldn't have to go through negative crap, and that society is all wrong in its beliefs and actions. That doesn't make it go away and it doesn't make it any easier on any of them.

Many might be ok, but who knows. And, a big part of the problem is that for so long I never disclosed any of this to anyone (and still haven't accept for my wife) I have always felt a sense of responsibility for this, and I still very much believe in this. It is my fault, my problem, not theirs.

I would definitely advise any young TG person to not hide and deny it for 50 years. Let people know now, and let those people come to terms with it. Fill your lives with those who will be good to you, and positive and accepting. Let your partner know before she makes a commitment to you for life. I did not do these things. I can deal with whatever crap society throws at me simply for being me, but those others in my life would be subjected to this unfairly because they entered into my life without the knowledge. It is not me I am worried about. If it was just me, I would be taking your advice.

[pamela7]

It is not me I am worried about. If it was just me, I would be taking your advice.

and that's why batman tells robin to wear a mask!

[Tina_gm]

Pamela, I am not really sure why you addressed my last sentence and the reply you made.... And for the record, for you, and others on here who have been able to create a life with CDing that is basically open and of knowledge to most or all around them, and a partner who fully accepts, I am truly happy for you. Those of you have been able to find or do what most of us on here only dream of. It does give us hope that we can find a better more peaceful and happy existence. The reality of many of us though is that we will never get there completely. Our life circumstances simply won't allow us the freedom of our gender expression without serious negative consequences.

[Lilian Sport Lover]

Gendermutt, I totally agree with what you wrote. Many things bring happiness to us. This includes our friends, social connections, financial gains, children, SO, good health, ... And in-femme feeling. One has to make a judgment as to the additional gains from coming out in comparison to the potential losses of other sources of happiness.

[weyburn]

Pamela

to the initial post well done,spot on and jolly good

[Krististeph]

fighting in a skirt:
Before too long, I am going to restart my aikido training... not so much for the martial art (I practice kung fu more than anything), but i want the black belt so I can wear the hakima- the traditional black skirt. The part that will suck is not being able to wear nail polish on my toes. but hey, you never know. The good part is that the length of time it will take is short compared to all the other damn schooling I've had to do...

Yes, if it feels good- do it! :-)

[Marcelle]

Hi Pamela,

Far be it for me to stifle such exuberant embracing of being who you need to be but, we also have to be cognizant that not everyone has the ability to be so daring do. Yes, if you have identified a need to be open and out to the world and are willing to risk everything in order to be who you need be then . . . then damn the torpedo's and full steam ahead. However, some are not willing to risk everything or are quite comfortable being closeted or wherever they are along the spectrum. I have read many accounts here where some throw caution to the wind, tell the world, crash horribly and are never heard from again . . . I have to wonder what happens to them. Some of us come out to the world and it goes reasonably well (never perfect) but reasonable.

However, I am glad to read you have reached a point where you are completely comfortable being your true self . . . keep that zealous attitude and enjoy :)

Hugs

Isha

[Erika Lyne]

I would definitely advise any young TG person to not hide and deny it for 50 years. Let people know now, and let those people come to terms with it. Fill your lives with those who will be good to you, and positive and accepting. Let your partner know before she makes a commitment to you for life. I did not do these things.

Hey Gendermutt and Pamela,

I agree with both of you. There are circumstances beyond our own lives that we may need to be cautious of. My family lives in a very blue collar bedroom community. It is VERY binary. Tolerance and acceptance are taught but not lived by very much. As an example, there are male and female, straight and gay, married couples (hetero and homosexual) and single people. All other arrangements or identities are not acknowledged or even tolerated. The community does not live by a spectrum principle. Viloence has been done to those that don't fit one of the accepted binary principles. I would not like to press my children into such a perdicament. Then again, I don't agree with being completely hidden either. I'm out with my wife and kids and very glad to be out with them. I'm out with a few dozen others, some at work and some friends from other arrangements. Yes, this is me and yes it is my life, there are parts of both that I'm not happy with but I live it.

Gendermutt, I quoted your post because I wanted to say that the young generation is rebelling against the norm, as is typical. However, their rebellion against their parents' norm is one of acctance...odd? Perhaps. My niece is in her Sr. year of high school and they have a class project to complete, similar to a thesis for college. There has to be quite a bit of research to pass this course and one of her classmates is a trans man. His project has landed him in a very public and visible roll. His project has also lead to him speaking at many of the local high schools and colleges about what being trans means and teaching acceptance. I'm in my 40s and when I was in HS there was very little acceptance for any one of varying sexual preferences or identities, think Jerry Springer days. This HS Sr. has the support of nearly every student in the school (there are always holdouts and bullies) and the size of his social media followers are quite impressive. Sound advice: come out young, come out early in a relationship and let the friends who are truely friends be your friends.

-E

[DMichele]

Pamela,

I have come to realize that crossdressing or underdressing is not what made me happy. Once I had an understanding that I was transgendered; that I was not alone; and I accepted my this part of my life, the path to happiness came naturally. I hope it never leaves.

I like to believe that my children and grandchildren have fun when we get together, and that my work colleagues have fun when they work with me. It wasn't always that way because I suppressed this part of me.