What is a Friend?

[Meghan4now]

So I looked at the forum rules etc. And I searched old threads. While there is a technical description on how "friend" works here, there is not a description on what a friend really is. I'm not one for racking up friends just to see how many I can collect. If I ask you to be a friend, there's a reason.

So I thought I might put out a thought on what it means to be a friend here.
As a friend I will:

-Find nice things to say about your latest pic.
-Read your entire 1000 word post on the trip to the shopping mall.
-Try to remember your relationship status and your challenges therein.
-If you post a thread where your feeling pain, I will try to be comforting.
-I will tease you, but gently, about a little too much leg.
-I will be excited that your excited.
-I will look for your posts and messages.
-When you've had a loss, I will keep you in my prayers.
-I will smile when I hear your doing better.
-If you die, I will come and clean out your closet before your family can find anything. And I will only steal that one top. Your shoes are too big for me anyway.

What is your promise to your forum friends?

[Jenniferathome]

My position is more simple than this. I'll tell them the truth and I will communicate with them privately and personally. I edit my friend list frequently based on that.

[icantwait24]

Sounds about right, although I would hope that our shoe size was the same. Feet are my weakness. But sounds like you nailed it

[Samantha2015]

Who could ask for anything more ? :)
If I don't respond to your post it does not mean I don't care
It may be your subject is too deep for my shallow brain
or it's something I have no knowledge on.
Even in girl mode I'm not great at nurturing/mothering
but I'll work on it.

[Jamie Christopher]

Nice thoughts Meghan, very nicely done IMHO. Thank you for that,

Jamie

[Beverley Sims]

Friends on this forum generally I feel somewhere between Jennifer and Samantha.

Any close friends I communicate with by PM.

[Alice Torn]

Some of us have been burned so much, by family and friends, that we have a very difficult time now, being vulnerable, and being friends, and a hard time trusting anyone, so we are loners.

[Kate Simmons]

My one and only requirement for friendship here and anywhere else is to just always be yourself. That is the person I can relate to and appreciate.:battingeyelashes::)

[Isabella Ross]

Nice post. Agree with everything except point number 2. Also agree with Jennifer.

[Meghan4now]

My position is more simple than this. I'll tell them the truth and I will communicate with them privately and personally. I edit my friend list frequently based on that.

Jennifer, if there is one thing I can count on, it's that you will provide a brutally honest opinion. But that's true for everyone, not just those on you list!

Yeah this list is supposed to be a little lighthearted. I feel like we've been barraged with heavy topics lately and everyone needs to take a breather and lighten up. See how happy that girl to the left is?

[Kristy 56]

Nice post Meghan,and Jennifer I like your reply too. :)

[Rebekah_uk]

I have found the advice on here to be sincere and helpful in the leadup to me coming out to my wife. I really don't think I could have done it without the help of this group. Jennifer I love your brutal honesty, this is a subject you cannot sugarcoat in anyway. There are other members here like Isha and Katey who have been a great help to me as well. If I'm ever in any of your home towns I would love to do lunch and say hi.

Love and hugs
Becky

This is going to my year of ownership instead of hiding

[Kandi Robbins]

I make friend requests based on a genuine interest in what you have to say.

I always accept friend requests because hopefully, some one has an interest in what I have to say.

To those who I have began to become actual friends with (either in the real world or though extended "conversations" here), I try to take those lines of communications outside the forum/PM structure.

[Teresa]

Megan,
You do find real friends through the system ! It's useful talking through subjects other than CDing, exchanging stories on travel or how a hobby is doing, or finding some one close enough to get together and have a coffee or join their support group ! Perhaps give them a little more personal support if things aren't going well !

[docrobbysherry]

Good thing your list isn't a requirement for Friends here, Meghan. I wouldn't have any!

Even the close ones I've met and spend time with, I'd never be able to answer all your 20 Questions list on!:doh:

[Laura912]

As a social media dinosaur, I was puzzled about the first friend request here which happened to come from Darla. Really did not understand what it all meant. Your explanation is nice but still not sure what it all means. One member for whom I have a lot of respect and PM frequently, is not even on my friend list. See, social media dinosaur...or maybe a c. dressasaurus.

[michelleddg]

Believe we actually have two threads going here:

1) The technical concept of "friend" on crossdressers.com. There is little or none beyond it being "slightly" more convenient to see the latest replies from your friends on your profile page. And the warm fuzzies from having made the technical friend connection. This is in stark contrast to the "friend" concept on Facebook, for example, where being a friend can gain you a lot of information access depending on your friend's security settings.

2) How you treat those you care about on crossdressers.com. Yours is a lovely list and, as you suggest, applies whether you are a technical friend or not. I would add that tough love is OK to deliver to a friend when given with respect and dignity. A well-developed bedside manner is always to be valued. Honesty does not need to be brutal!

Hugs, Michelle

[Meghan4now]

My one and only requirement for friendship here and anywhere else is to just always be yourself. That is the person I can relate to and appreciate.:battingeyelashes::)

Kate, some may find that to be entirely ironic, considering the questions about self identity associated with the CD/TG/TS spectrum.:D

Sherry and Alice, don't sell yourselves short. You deserve good friends and I'm sure you have a lot more to offer than you think.

Michelle, thanks, you hit the nail (s) on the head.

[Eryn]

I'm not Facebook-trained, so I have no need of friends so I never ask anyone to friend me! :)

If someone asked to be my friend I always accept them. It's just a sociable thing to do and on a forum being a friend has little meaning beyond being shown on my profile page.