Anxious...first therapy appt today

[KimBarely]

Feeling anxious. I have my first appointment with a therapist who specializes in LBGT issues this afternoon. I booked the appointment before joining this forum so thank you all for helping me better prepare for it!

I'm wanting to find out if I've got my head screwed on straight with all this. It's really new for me and I've already experienced some Pink Fog. I don't want to take a wrong turn and end up somewhere I didn't intend.

Have any of you had any positive or negative experiences with a therapist that I should either ask or conversely watch out for?

Thank you!

[AllieSF]

My only recommendation, which would be the same for relationship therapy and any other kind, is to be honest and open. Don't hide anything, voice your concerns, ask a lot of questions when you have them, including what you should expect from this process. Good luck.

[JenniferR771]

Are you in a conservative town (like me)?
Look through the websites of potential therapists, and their claimed areas of expertise. Compare with the therapists listed from San Francisco. Watch for signs of people who want to "cure" you. Watch for indications of therapists who specialize in everything (which means nothing).
I had therapists who borrowed books from me. I guess they had none of their own.
And good advice from Allie. Be open and frank, ask questions.

Compare with this typical listing in San Francisco--where--about half of the therapists claim expertise in "transgender identity issues".

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=111704&sid=1431369448.2326_7816&city=San+Francisco&state=CA&tr=ResultsName

[sometimes_miss]

Write stuff down. In the beginning, I found that I would get immersed in one subject, then not get to something important that I really wanted to discuss, and then had to wait another week before I got to address it, feeling like kicking myself because it didn't bring it up. Perhaps even print it out for the therapist so she can know what YOU need to discuss, and she can get around to your most important issues. If you don't feel comfortable writing it down, perhaps email it or SMS it to yourself, then you can pick up the message on your phone and let her keep the phone in front of her, then erase the message at the end of the session.

[Stephanie Julianna]

A hundred years ago I saw a therapist before I even met my wife. It was 1967 and I had just come out of the seminary after one year. (All my regular readers should be saying, "Holy Shit!" now.) I thought they said "celebrate" and got out of there when I found out what they really meant. Anyway, this idiot therapist kept using the word "cure". Even at 18 years old I knew he was out to lunch. I had already been living with my feminine side for at least 13 years by this time and wanted to learn how to live with this, not rip it out or amputate this part of me. I knew that could be fatal. I knew that if I let him try to "cure" me that I would never be whole again. I doubt these idiots are practicing today but I would say that is the word that would raise a red flag for me.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hope you got through it OK Kim! If you feel up to it, let us know what happened.

[LexiMay]

I hope all went well for you x

[Amy R Lynn]

I'm late to the party here. I have had several therapist that I have talked to about all of this. The best advice I can give you is that you will know if this therapist is working for you. It really depends on why you are going to see them. What do you hope to accomplish? Then you see if they are keeping on track with the conversations that you are having. I have had two therapist that just didn't seem to be a fit for me. It wasn't that they had a 'RED' flag failure or anything. They just didn't seem to able to get to where I wanted to go. Don't be afraid to walk away from them after a couple of sessions. It sucks having to start all over with a new therapist, but its better than lingering around with the wrong one.

[Nadya]

Hi Kim,

It's an interesting coincidence that crossdressing and therapy both have a social stigma attached to them. There's nothing wrong with either of them. I currently go to therapy and it has helped. Don't be afraid to try other therapists as well if this one doesn't seem to fit your needs. I think it's important to get as much support as possible to help you deal with your issues. <3

[Beverley Sims]

Therapy should not have a stigma attached to it.

Depression, anxiety, marriage & drinking problems, all need someone 's outside help occasionally.

Okay I have been lucky I can handle it and feel that a therapist is unnecessary in my case.

If you don't know something, you have to find out. The forum can only give you guidance and life experiences, yes, it does help, so, off to the therapist, tell all and you should receive good advice.

Beware, it may not be what you want to hear.

[Eryn]

I enjoy going to see my therapist. She always has a sympthetic ear and has made some good suggestions for ways to achieve greater understanding of my situation. She suggested that I keep a journal and that is a great help in keeping our sessions moving.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I've been seeing my therapist for 7 years now and I enjoy our visits tremendously. That doesn't mean they've been easy. We've had our "talks" and they haven't always been pleasant as I'm forced to confront issues I had never thought of or didn't want to discuss.

You've got lots of good advice here. Go in with an open mind and that everything is on the table. Yes, write down things you want to bring up.

You'll know if this therapist is right for you or not after only a few sessions. You have to be comfortable with the therapist for this to work. I've been fortunate in that I hit a home run with my therapist on the first try, although I have a 3 hour drive to get to her office. My daughter unfortunately has not had the same luck as her first 2 therapists were either on another planet or just going through the motions. The 3rd time was the charm and she's connected with her current professional.

Please let us know how it works out.

Good Luck

[kimdl93]

Don't worry about other people's experiences. First, relax. Second, try not to shape your answers to your therapists expectations and third, look for his/her help in understanding or adjusting to your life, but don't expect or let your therapist define you.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

I wholeheartedly recommend what some others have suggested: be honest, ask questions & understand that there will be other areas of your life that need to be addressed other than cding. Those " baggage areas " can help explain why you cd , etc. I wish you success in finding yourself. Peace, mel

[KimBarely]

Thank you everyone for all of the thoughtful advice.

The appointment went well. Obviously since it's a first visit, I had a lot of info and background to convey so I did most of the talking. I think the therapist is a good fit so far. Her specialty is LGBT counseling and there was no talk of "cure". I would have bolted right away if there was.

Melissa, you make an excellent point. Those "baggage" areas are what I need help with. TOO MUCH STRESS!!!

[Katey888]

Sorry I missed the opportunity to wish you well before - I'm glad it went well.. :)

You'll do lots more talking if my experience is anything to go by - and yes, be open and honest and try not to have any preconceived ideas of where it might lead... be patient too, and as with anything to do with this, take your time and set your own pace - this is a long game of life, and you have to be comfortable with whatever the outcomes are... :hugs:

Sounds like you've started well...

Katey x

[TrishaTX]

Allie knows her stuff...it is the best thing you can do for yourself. Therapy changed my life.

[Sarasometimes]

Allie is spot on. If you get that feeling that this therapist isn't for you don't waste time, move on. The neat thing about a great therapist (hard to find but worth the effort) is when you find yourself discussing things you have never thought to share and it feels good. At some point you may want to ask if you should or could come to therapy dressed. I do so periodically and I find those sessions are different and more focused yet I'm so relaxed. Good Luck.