What level of being out are you ?

[Teresa]

After recently finishing counselling I decided to tell my son about my CDing so now my family all know !
I know my wife feels more relaxed now the pressure of them knowing has gone !

So that's OK I'm out to my family but that's not 100% true ! They know about my CDing , so I'm only out in thought to them not the reality ! If fact no one has seen me fully dressed with wig and makeup ! My wife has seen me twice but only dressed and I briefly showed her the picture I use for my avatar . Today I went a stage further, after a conversation with my daughter about going for therapy, I asked her if she objected to me showing her some pictures, she replied that if it helped me she didn't have a problem, so I did ! She was very surprised and commented it didn't look like me ! I began to choke up when I agreed with her, I told her I wasn't embarrassed by them it was part of me that I was born with and I'm desperate to let out !

Most of us say we have pangs of guilt about taking pictures and showing on the forum or where ever ! I'm so pleased I did because they're proving a useful stepping stone to finally being out in reality ! I'm sure when you tell people you're a CDer they have an image of a guy in a dress making a fool of himself ! As soon as I show them a picture they realise he's serious about it, it's not a stupid passing whim, he obviously has a hidden feminine side that needs expressing !

So what level are you out at, is just knowing sufficient, even if it's not 100% ?

[michelleddg]

I've been out to my wife since before we were married. She's seen all the photos, even my boudoir sessions, and been out and about with me, but at this juncture has no real interest in being involved or participating. It's "my thing."

I have never ever had even a single pang to share Michelle with anybody who only knows Fred, and I'm quite sure I never will. Hugs, Michelle

[Kristy 56]

Basically in the closet. My wife knows ,hates it,and wants no part of it. Aside from that and the girls here ,only a few SAs and GGs I know from a salon that I used to frequent know. :)

[Nadine Spirit]

I am level 4! (whatever that means, I just kept thinking of it and thought it was too amusing to not post!)

But seriously folks. I have been out to my wife for as long as I known. I am out to my sister, both parents have passed away. I am out to most of my friends. I am out to many coworkers. They have all at least been given my blog address. And I think that almost all of them have viewed my blog. Showing them pictures does change things. They can view an image of who I am while dressed instead of just picturing something in their minds.

[Rachelakld]

Wife and 3 daughters have seen me fully dressed, helped with make up, helps select clothes for me while shopping.
Sister & husband and their children have seen my photos.
Neighbours have seen me partially & fully dressed,
local supermarket today saw me in skinny jeans, tight white top & pretty bra (no wig, no make up) and staff referred to me in the feminine.

My oldest has phobias about anything that is slightly off the "norm", while she has gay friends, she is anti-gay (although she just finished a very good thesis on transgender for her Uni study). I can't tell her, as giving her any secret is like publishing in the national paper, and would cause issues with her biological dad and his family, towards my family.

Wife and kids need me to have proper dad time (and that's what I want on my head stone "a loving dad"), so once or twice a week is enough for me.

[reb.femme]

Hi Teresa

I have a similar situation to you insofar that I am out to my wife, 3 sons and their partners plus my sister-in-law. I expect the rest of the English speaking world too, if the truth be known. My middle son told a couple of his friends, so that will definitely be common knowledge among the rest :heehee:. Do I care? Big No!

However, none apart from my wife has seen me dressed, except in pictures from my website. I would happily be seen by all, but I know my wife is not overly thrilled at the prospect, so I have held back from that. My middle son is happy to both see me dressed and go out with me, but as a gay man, he has had many personal issues to deal with over the years, such that seeing dad in a dress is small beer.

I need to get out away from home, so the Way Out club with my youngest two sons is looking a good bet for the very near future. I'm hoping my wife will be coming too.

Rebecca

[sometimes_miss]

Dipped my toe in the waters when I was getting divorced; ex wife threatened to out me so I knew I needed to get ahead of the curve, and told my mother and sister. Neither went well. Sis barely talks to me now, mom is in denial and quickly changes the subject if I ever mention anything about it. After that experience, I decided not to tell anyone else at that point. Over the past decade, I've told a couple of gay women, who apparently are of the opinion that I am really gay as well but in denial. So much for the gay population being more understanding.

At this point I'm never going to tell anyone else.

[Cheryl T]

What are the parameters of the scale?
I could be a 7.5 or an 83, then again I might be a 687 ??

[colleen_cd]

I'm only out to my wife as well, with no immediate plans to tell anyone else. My wife is open and mostly accepting of the idea - though she has not seen me dressed. It's funny, she's a very liberal person, bisexual, and very supportive of LGBT rights, but has admitted she's not 100% sure about her husband being a crossdresser.

For now it's just about keeping the dialogue going, and trying to make her more comfortable with it, if possible.

[Kandi Robbins]

Of all of the people that know me, only my wife knows about Kandi.

I have not yet had any interest in telling my daughters, family or friends. The risk is too great.

I am unbelievably comfortable (more comfortable then I would have ever expected being closeted for soooo long) as Kandi and have no trouble making new friends as Kandi. I'm still pretty new at this, so I'll don't know where this is all going, how my feelings will change or even how being Kandi will continue to change me. She already has made me a better man, that's for sure.

[Kate Simmons]

Many people I know know about it although I didn't plaster it on a billboard. I tell others on a "need to know" basis for the most part.:)

[LexiMay]

Nobody knows. I'm pretty much at the start of my journey, kinda!

[Alice Torn]

I have not told anyone for a number of years. I have not been out in a year and a half, and that was only a short time at night. have not told anyone lately, and have no desire to.

[msniki48]

Cheryl you are definitely a 687....lol

[Bobbi46]

At the moment nobody knows it is early days for me to go outside

[AlexaK]

Just a couple of friends know for now, not sure about my family in the long run.

[Donnagirl]

Who knows.... Only my wife, kids, friends, work, neighbors and the rest of English speaking world!! Oh and the Arabic speaking world also judging by the number of friend requests and inappropriate pictures I get on my Facebook page!!!

[docrobbysherry]

I was going to say I'm a 3 or 4. Until I read Nadine's post. So, I can't be above a 3. Probably a 2?:eek:

[RADER]

My Wife knew, was OK with it; However I am in the closet
I under dress most of the time with panties every day, I wear
woman's jeans all the time, and a bra about 80% of the time.
Just not built to impersonate a Lady.
Rader

[icantwait24]

I am only out to my wife! However my mom, brother and his wife, father and mother in law have now all seen my toes pained for the last couple of weeks. Yesterday my mom was here and some how the subject got brought up, that I have always been really prissy. My wife and I looked at one another and smiled. I know we were thinking the same thing (mom you really have no idea) this past weekend I went to a few stores with my wife and kids toes all painted up, and like always I was wearing my flipflops. Walking like a girl.:) my wife said I have always walked funny never thinking he a girl that's why. So on a scale of 1 to 10, I would say I'm at a .5 However even though it's only a .5 I hv never felt more complete or happy in my entire life.

[Lily Catherine]

In chronological order, my parents, some close friends, the Internet (this site). Only the last one has seen what I look like dressed.

My mother was shocked when she found out last weekend that I shaved my legs. The talk already changed from "Don't dress in my clothes" to "Don't mess up my clothes" a while ago even when my stash was found out.

I am pushing to be out to the world at large, albeit without a shred of identity attached, in the not too distant future.

[flatlander_48]

Sort of horses for courses...

Later this month I will have been married to my 2nd wife for 10 years. She's known about me well before we were married and has been out with me dressed.

Regarding my LGBT employee's affinity group, I have been out as a bisexual for 5-6 years. However, in the next few weeks I will be out to them as transgender, with a wider audience likely to follow as we move into Summer and Fall...

DeeAnn

[Jason+]

I'm somewhere between that literally "dressed" fool and "but it goes to eleven." :D

My wife who doesn't want much to do with it knows and has seen all. My parents know and my siblings. Most of my kids know and the others won't be super surprised when they do figure it out. John Q and the general public in the establishments I frequent clearly know and some of them appear happy to see me again! Some of my co workers know and the rest have enough pieces to put the puzzle together although they have never seen more than long nails and hair.

Rather than being embarrassed by my train stopping a few stations earlier than most I am grateful I can meet my needs at the level I can.

[Nadine Spirit]

I was going to say I'm a 3 or 4. Until I read Nadine's post. So, I can't be above a 3. Probably a 2?:eek:

Maybe I was thinking of a scale of 1 to 5, huh?

[Erika Lyne]

Great thread Teresa,

I'm fairly out but selective to whom I'm out with. Like you, if I say something to someone I usually show a photo or get into the topic so that they know I'm serious about it.

People in my life I'm out with:
-Supportive wife has known since we were quite young (I was 15 when I told her) and we were married nearly 15 years ago when I was 27.
-Two younger daughters (11 & 12 now) out with for just about 2 1/2 years
-In laws, wife needed someone to talk to and she outed me. I'm ok with that. We all need support. Mother in law is ok and has seen me in a non-Halloween scenario. Father in law, only has seen me during Halloween and isn't supportive.
- A friend of my wife, again she needed support-not much there. She too has seen me dressed.
- Tried to talk to my parents years ago. Mother's response,"It is a phase. It'll pass." Um...no it won't "pass."
- Dad was worse.
- Both brothers think I'm gay even though I've never had a BF or even hinted on it. Neither know.
- About half a dozen friends, mostly female.
- About a dozen co-workers, also mostly female.
- Posted a few pics here and I feel the sense of common community here makes much of this part of me seem remotely normal.
- The last person I told face to face was a gay coworker who was hitting on me. I respectfully declined his advances and replied, "I'm not 'man' enough for you." We are even better friends now but he agrees with what I said.


Most of the times when I've come out to people, it is with someone who thinks they know me well but they usually start the conversation. It typically goes something like this,
THEM: You never seem happy.
ME: Because I am not.
THEM: Why?
ME: You would never understand and never believe it if I told you.
THEM: I swear, I know you well enough. You can trust me.
ME: It isn't about trust and NO you do NOT know me. You may think you do but you do not.

I like reading how others fit into their worlds. It just goes to show it is a spectrum and has a bell curve to it even in this forum.

-E

[Beverley Sims]

I am level six, I did an online test to ascertain my femininity, taste in clothes, passability and makeup skills.

In order to pass I needed to score 103. :)

Teresa, I think I am a bit like you, still cautious as to who I would tell.

Most of my activities occur on holidays.

I am not one for bench marks, sorry.

[Jenniferathome]

I'm out to my wife and that's all that matters. Cross dressing is only a very small part of my life, no one else in my family is impacted or affected by it.

[Eryn]

I'm out to my wife, our daughters, and my sisters-in-law. All of these are people who are likely to be around when I am in female mode.

My rule about this is that I will only tell someone if there is a positive reason for doing so and minimal danger of the wrong people becoming aware.

My daughters were told so that I didn't have to sneak in and out of the house while dressed, but they were only told after they had left our local schools and were in college. It would have been unfair to entrust them with my secret while attending local schools.

My sisters-in-law are aware because their knowing means that Mimi can talk openly with them. It also makes it much easier when they visit and if we go out on the town I usually go dressed.

My parents are no longer with us and i have no siblings so that is not an issue.

Everyone else who knows me in female mode only sees Eryn, so no explaining is needed.

[SharonDenise]

I told my wife while we were still dating over some 40 years ago. We kept my cross dressing a secret between the two of us until she passed last year. Since then, I have joined a cross dresser support group, told my older daughter but not my younger one, my social worker from my survivor's group and a couple of others. I would like to tell my younger daughter but haven't found the courage. I also have plenty of "selfies" but only a couple of the above have seen them. Like you, I have many beautiful pictures that show that I'm not just a dude in a dress.

[Barbara Black]

Let's see, I've got two daughters that know, their SOs, and my wife. The neighbors have probably seen me wearing skirts and blouses around the yard, but I'm breaking in a new set of them now. I've talked to them while wearing boobs under my male clothes, so.... Oh yeah, another set of neighbors know also, but they also moved out a year or two ago. Hmmm, a connection? But my wife has only seen me in a bunch of skirts and a dress occasionally, but never in makeup or a wig. The daughters are used to me wearing boobs under my clothes and have seen an occasional blouse and skirts more frequently.
Where on the scale does that leave me? LOL

[Michelle (Oz)]

I take the approach of telling only those that need to know. The only person that needs to know is my wife who somewhat ironically does not want to know about my femme world.

Compartmentalising my male and female worlds protects my wife's sensitivities yet I have many friends in my femme world and a few know male me.

[cheryl reeves]

im very out,but selective on who really knows. my mom,sisters,nephews,brother n laws,our son,and my brother who outed me to a friend to try and break up our friendship,didnt work. im thankful i have a supportive wife who tries to understand all this.

[JennykBailey]

My wife knows. She has been amazing, and although Jenny isn't too intrusive in our marriage, we do have fun shopping, and discussing fashion, makeup and shoes. To my knowledge the only other person who knows is one of my wife's work colleagues who I very rarely meet anyway. I guess others will find out one day, and that is when my crossdressing will move from secret to private.

[Marcelle]

Hi Teresa,

Interesting post . . . well I suppose I am about as out as out can be at this juncture and soon to be out to the entire CAF (military) as I am sure once I show up at work dressed, it will get around quickly.

I found your comment about showing people pictures interesting as it is true . . . until someone sees a picture or meets you dressed, their concept of what to expect can be quite tangential. Some expect to see a Mrs Doubtfire or Tootsie, others expect over the top "drag" or as you said a man looking clownish in a dress and wig with crazy make-up. When most meet me for the first time or see a picture, they comment it is not what they expected (hoping they mean that in a good way :battingeyelashes:).

I am glad to read you are getting more comfortable with yourself and telling your family . . . small steps are the surest way to the biggest gains sometimes.

Hugs

Isha

[Natalie cupcake]

My wife knows about Natalie. I have one gg friend so far that knows. Maybe someday I'll tell more close friends. But not my family they don't need to know.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

as for family and friends i am only out to my wife(4 yrs ago after 27 yrs of marriage) who has become tolerant even somewhat supportive
i have made a lot of friends in the cd/tg fraternity but hope that my two adult sons(29 and 25) never find out.

[Teresa]

Thanks everyone , some interesting replies, great if you can keep them coming !

One small correction, I wasn't looking for any sort of score, I only used the 100% figure to say fully out but I wasn't asking anyone to rate them selves, if you choose to do it OK fine maybe giving yourself a score shows how far you may want to go !

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

I'm so deep in the closet I've visited Cair Paravel... I'm not even sure I'm fully out to myself. I have spent the last 20 years trying to figure out who I am, and am no closer to a solution now than I was then...
I have told exactly 2 people that I feel myself to be trans*. My younger brother who is gay (finally a point of commonality?), and a work associate with whom I become rather close. My brother took it in stride, but never saw it coming; my associate wanted to ask, but thought it wiser to let me come to the point in my own time.
My wife doesn't know... I feel guilt about that, but I need to explore this aspect of myself a bit more before I drag her into what may yet be a non-issue (I'm not holding my breath).

[trisha kobichenko]

I have been out to my wife for about two years. I dress at home, sometimes with a wig, but without make up. Not going to include additional family or friends in telling what I am about.
Trisha

[Teresa]

Shayleigh,
Eventually it will happen and it is life changing, I felt a millstone had been lifted from my shoulders, and sobbed like I'd never cried before ! After it became a real rollercoaster ride it's taken me another twenty years to get to where I am now, and time is going too quickly to catch up, as much as I try ! All I can say it's your decision don't let anyone force you into it, there's never a right time !

[grace7777]

I have come out to 3 women that I know. None of these people are related to me. I have a strong feeling though that others suspect I dress en femme. The ones who suspect would probably be surprised if they knew how often I actually went out en femme.

[aprilgirl]

I told my wife early on while dating and she is very supportive and accompanies me out and about. Last week I told one of my sisters, the only family I ever considered telling prior, and the only one I will. She's totally fine with it and wishes I had told her sooner. I have several friends that I'm sure would be accepting, but the only way I see sharing it with them would be them finding out in some other way. I would like to come out on my terms, if possible.

[Stephanie47]

My wife knows and prefers to avoid anything to do with cross dressing. So, it's is DADT. Once in a while I will forget to pack some piece of attire when don with my session. She'll place a bra or panty in the laundry closet on the dryer and tell me. No barbs are thrown. I've been out by myself on occasion. I got it out of my system. After reading the exploits of cross dressers on this site, I gave it a go several times. Without somewhere or something to do going out was really boring. I do not think just meeting other CD-ers just for the sake of meeting them is my cup of tea. I need some other communality for meeting, and, then that communality makes cross dressing immaterial. I enjoy the peace and tranquility appearing as a woman bring me. That's sufficient. Other times I feel comfortable and peaceful in my ripped up cut off jeans, no socks and well worn tee shirt and unshaven for several days.

[Lacey New]

Still deep in the closet. Obviously my friends here online who know me by my pseudonym and a SA at Dress Barn who knows my face and dress size and another pseudonym and any number of SAs who might suspect that the guy with six pair of panties, a camisole and a half slip in larger sizes might be buying for himself. But at this time, I remain in the closet and hope to keep it that way.

[Ceera]

Not very 'out' yet in terms of people knowing both sides of me, either about cross dressing or being bisexual. But I haven't done the CD stuff for very long. I self-identify as a bisexual male CD who loves expressing the feminine side of his personality, but who has no inclination to change gender to female permanently.

I knew I was Bi since I was a teen, more than 40 years ago. But I didn't allow myself to explore that side of my inclinations because my father was homophobic. For most of my life, the only person who really knew me and knew I was bi was my GG wife, who I told before we married. But I remained monogamous and straight for the 30 years we were married, until a heart attack took her from me a year and a half ago. About the only feminine self-expression I allowed myself was role playing female characters in on-line games and RP forums - where I got pretty good at playing a female role. That was when 'Ceera' was created, and most of the on-line people that interacted with Ceera believed she was played by a genetic girl! Wife, daughter and a few close friends knew I had Ceera and a few other female characters that I role played frequently as. Wife and my best male friend also knew that sometimes that role playing took a very x-rated adult form. That male best friend also did on-line RP as a few female characters, but without the adult activities, to my knowledge. I could probably out myself to that one guy without fear, but there's no advantage to doing so - especially when I am leaving the area soon and will probably lose contact with his family not too long after we leave the state.

I started under dressing when my father died. in mid 2010. While out of town and away from my wife and daughter for a month for his funeral and to help sort through stuff in his house, I bought some bikini panties and even bought a steel boned corset, and brought them home. Wife soon learned about the panties, but I kept the corset hidden. She was uneasy about me wearing panties but put up with it, even when I replaced all my male underpants with panties. I mostly bought solid colored ones with very little to no lace, and the few lacy ones I kept hidden. My daughter knew about the panties a few months later - saw me sorting my laundry and I admitted it to her - no big deal for her. Though I did openly buy a couple of feminine-length Halloween wigs and covertly bought a blouse, a skirt, a pair of pumps and a few padded bras, I didn't shave off my beard or do any makeup and only tried a fully female mode of dress with wig a few times in the privacy of my home, while alone. So for the next year and a half there was really nothing to be 'out' about other than that I was wearing ladies panties under my male clothes.

My wife passed away in Jan 2014. I came out to my daughter about wanting to openly cross dress, and we discussed it, and she was fully supportive. So I bought a closet full of girl clothes and some better wigs, and some makeup, and about 6 months later ventured out of the house for the first time as a girl - to a local gay nightclub.

A lot of the people at that nightclub now know Ceera on sight, but not one of them knows my real name. Only one employee there has ever seen my male face and been able to associate me with Ceera - and that was only because I had to retrieve a hip pad that I lost at the club, and didn't have time to transform to girl mode. Other than that one time, where I waited at the door for him to bring me that pad, I never go there in male mode.

Right now, I would have to say my daughter remains the only person I am fully 'Out' to, who knows my male side well, and also knows I am bisexual. She's fully supportive.

The half dozen or so ladies who work at the wig spa where I bought my last wig have all seen me in male and female modes, buying a wig from them and getting it sized properly. They know only that I CD for fun about once a week, and are wonderfully accepting of me in either mode, treating me as a lady when I am in their shop as Ceera. But they don't really 'know me'.

Two casual friends in the fursuiting community know about Ceera now, but have only seen me in a single photo as her. They know my male name and some other details, but not much about my life.

Quite a few people who attended the furry or anime conventions where I have worn my vixen mascot costume have seen my male face when I took the costume head of the very female fox character off to cool off in the 'fursuit lounge' or to attend a lecture or panel. But none of them know my male side at all, and most don't know my name. I've attended one large public dance at an anime con while fully en-femme as Ceera, but again, few people there know me. And it's 'accepted' in the furry and anime community that people cross dress a lot to portray various characters.

Two of my daughter's school friends have seen me in my vixen outfit at an anime con, and knew it was me. My daughter's BFF kind of blinked the first time she saw me as a vixen, and asked my daughter, "Is that your dad?", and my daughter told her it was, and that I was 'cosplaying as one of my original characters', which was quite true. My vixen fursuit is the Ceera character I role played as on-line for decades. Both of those friends of hers haven't mentioned it to me since then, or discussed anything else with me.

So far, none of the rest of my family know about Ceera at all. I'm in no great rush to tell them. I dearly love my sister and trust her with almost all my secrets, but cross dressing and sexual stuff aren't among them. While she might accept me, I doubt her husband would, and I am uncertain how my three nieces and my nephew in her family would take it. There is no benefit to me exposing that side of me to them, at this point.

None of my coworkers know I cross dress. I telecommute full time and have even been fully dressed at home through my full work day, but they can't see me, and I remember to 'use my guy voice' when talking to them on the phone.

When I move to a new state in a few months, I am hoping to CD about 50% of the time and to try to be out to all my new friends and neighbors in that town. A fresh start with people who will have known me in no other way. Exciting and frightening at the same time, but the community that I am moving to is very LGBT friendly.

[Pat]

OMG! There are levels? :confused2: Great. Something else to fail at. :doh:

Honestly I don't know what level I'm at. There are many people who know Jennie. There are many more who know my male representation. There are few who know both. So maybe I'm at whatever level is, say, 25% of full scale. ;)

[ErikaS]

Well I for one have said to myself, self its time your over 50 so lets stop hiding and just go for a ride. I have been in the military for 30 years and having to repress for that long was hard but i have been coming out to close friends (very close) but no family i don't think they would understand. I am very happy that the VA will offer free counseling and I now know im not alone its a process.

Erika

[Sophie Hogletta]

Not really out at all, but I am not married and more on the trans side / gay whatever so don't really care. It's also very sporadic in that the urge pops up only now and again then I go back to very straight life. Odd. I like the freedom though and when the feeling strikes I often just get into it for a couple of days. Most close friends know and literally don't care. It's been a feature of my life for over 20 years now since I became comfortable with it.:D

[natalie12]

My wife knows that inside I love being a girl. I have worn Natalie's short shorts in public. I didn't get one bad comment when I did. It felt so good!!!!!!!!! My kids do not know I am a girl. When the wife is at work and the kids are at school you will find me in a skirt!!!!!!! School is almost out for the summer so I wont be wearing a skirt as often as I like. Ready for the next school year to start.

[Angela Marie]

My wife knows and is supportive. I try to stay away from home when I go out since i'm still closeted to the extent that friends and neighbors don't know.

[Rhandi Spencer]

I am still in the closet except for a friend at work who is very open. She has even gone shopping for me. A fun thing is we discuss what panties we are going to wear and try to match. Kinda fun...
Randi Sue

[antonyio]

friends know,family don't and some I don't care if they ever know,lucky I am single with my daugthers on the weekend so can be all girl through the week,have been out into town a couple of times so it is kind of out there

[Diane1950]

My wife knows because I told her. She doesn't particularly like it and doesn't want to see, but she loves me enough to let it be.

My parents probably knew, or at least suspected, because they caught me many times. But they're gone now.

I don't see any real need to tell our kids, or anyone else. If circumstances change, then I'll let it out.

[kimdl93]

I was puzzled by the levels...so it took me a while to think of a response. If you think of levels as represented by the distance from the nucleus...I guess if there were of 'out-ness' the inner orbits would be my wife and step daughter who know, see and interact with me, the next level would be inhabited by a small circle of friends who have met and socialized with me, then out to the next level a few business associate. Farther out are a few neighbors that have met me on the street or at the store, and beyond that incidental encounters with people I recognize but really don't know well, at the store, the cosmetics counter, nail salon or rarely, at a local bar. Then, there are the family members, friends and former co-workers told by my ex...some of them knew I was...different growing up, and my ex added to their suspicions, but none at this level have met me as I am today.

So that puts me as 'out' at six different levels simultaneously.

[Madeleine Quinn]

I'm out to my wife; in fact, when I was still in the searching phase, being OK with crossdressing was a dealbreaker for me. We met through OkCupid. For those who haven't used it, you can answer various questions (some are mundane, others are totally off the wall, and users can submit their own), as well as indicate how your ideal match would answer and how important the question is to you. Whether you make your answers public is up to you; either way, the system uses your answers to calculate your match percentage with other users. So, there was a question about crossdressing, and I answered it publicly. I figured that, since I was looking for a serious relationship, I might as well not waste time with potential partners who wouldn't be accepting.

Recently I've told a few friends and one coworker, and begun getting active on various online forums. No kids to be concerned about; I honestly don't know how I'd handle it if that were a question I had to deal with. And, of course, I'm totally out to the super friendly and helpful manager of my local shoe store!

[Vicky Peters]

I am in the closet, my wife knows and every once in a while she opens the door and visits

[ErikaS]

I am out to my wife who is not super support e but she does love me. I told my mother and some close friends. I did join a local support group I am planing on a Meer up this weekend. Oh what to wear lol.

Erika

[Jaylyn]

I guess I'm only out to my wife and of course all the gals on this site. All my kids are married and moved away so what would be the reason to let them know. I see no sense in stirring the pot with my old work related companions since I've been retired since I was 52 and am now 65. My wife doesn't mind as long as it doesn't take her man away for good. I married her as a man and will be her guy until the day I die. We are very much in love. She has a few crazy quirks I put up with also so we just feel we were made for each other. We are a team and love it that way. Why cause a conflict of any sort by outing myself to my friends and family if there is no reason to. I can live without any one else but my wife knowing. It's our secret and she even helps me with my dressing sometimes. I really don't dress daily but in times of stress I find myself escaping to it. I can be happy in both of my skins the male and female. I still enjoy my male side and feel enjoyment in my female side as well. I'd say I am very evenly matched in both sides.

[kryss.cd]

I'm still pretty hidden. I also only underdress occasionally though. I don't really feel the need to tell anyone at the point I am. I mean, a personal choice in underwear is just that. Personal.

I've never been one to care what other people think either.

[Taylor186]

I'm out to my wife, our very liberal minister, and a couple of therapists in the distant past. I'm not out to any other family members or friends or acquaintances that I know of. I add that last part because my wife says more people know than I think know. Could be true, and that doesn't bother me, but no one has ever approached me on the topic. I'm not the least bit androgynous in the way I look or dress 98+% of the time. But, I am clocked as gay occasionally for reasons I don't quite understand.