An ode from a closeted crossdresser

[Melissa in SE Tn]

What joy there is to dress & feel alive, feminine & happy. How despondent it is to return to male mode not knowing when the joys of dressing will happen again. " Parting is such sweet sorrow ". For all of us in the closet... Be positive , be focused & enjoy those times when we can be free.

[Bobbi46]

How right you are I have just got home from shopping for a short white skirt and a blous, I found one blouse with a fishnet outer and an opaque undervest i could not get home fast enough and get out of my guy clothes and change into the ne stuff. The beauty of the blouse is that I can wear it with just the mesh top and a bra underneath or no bra, having changed i felt so much better and relaxed.

[Beverley Sims]

Always look forward to the future and be optimistic, things will get better. :)

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Beverly, thank you. I have & continue to remain positive & focused. I hope to encourage my fellow closeted cders to remain positive & focused . Peace in dressing to all, mel

[Katey888]

A brief ode, but full of emotion Mel... :hugs:

Reminds me to savour each and every one of those joyous moments in life, whatever they may be. :)

Keep Calm & Carry On Everyone!

Katey x

[Ellie52]

Mel
Wouldnt it be great to just be able to wear what the hell we want. What kind of society are we that can dictate what others can and cannot wear.
The retail community would love for us to be more adventurous. Take it from me shops will sell to anyone as long as your moneys good.
I am one of the lucky ones in that my wife lets me wear what I want but I still get nervous walking around the shops dressed up as a woman.
For me - I dont want to be a woman I just want to be able to wear the clothes I like. Unfortunately to wear them I have to dress up with breast forms and a wig and pretend Im something Im not.
The sooner we can put on a skirt or a nice blouse or even high heels and be ourselves the better but unfortunately I dont see it happening anytime soon.
So we should have a closet party and all get together and have a real ball......
Best wishes
Ellie

[emma5410]

Mel
Wouldnt it be great to just be able to wear what the hell we want. What kind of society are we that can dictate what others can and cannot wear.
The retail community would love for us to be more adventurous. Take it from me shops will sell to anyone as long as your moneys good.
I am one of the lucky ones in that my wife lets me wear what I want but I still get nervous walking around the shops dressed up as a woman.
For me - I dont want to be a woman I just want to be able to wear the clothes I like. Unfortunately to wear them I have to dress up with breast forms and a wig and pretend Im something Im not.
The sooner we can put on a skirt or a nice blouse or even high heels and be ourselves the better but unfortunately I dont see it happening anytime soon.
So we should have a closet party and all get together and have a real ball......
Best wishes
Ellie

How do you expect that change to come about if you are in the closet. That kind of social change cannot be legislated. It has to be won by getting out there and doing it. It will be difficult to begin with but that is part of the process.

[Ellie52]

Emma
Im confused with your reply.
I mentioned in my post that I go out dressed as a woman, I also go shopping for female clothes in DRAB and en femme. I wear tie wrap sarong skirts when the weather is warm enough. I think I am doing my bit. I am certainly NOT in the closet and as mentioned my wife lets me wear what I want as well as buying me clothes/shoes and underwear as well.
What more can I do - I wear womens jeans/t shirts and cuban heel boots to work. I would wear a skirt but I value my job.

My post was in support of people like Mel who dont have the luxury (with the spouse and other things) to be who they want to be.

It is so easy to say get out there and do it but there are so many different circumstances and nobodies circumstances are the same.
I do my bit for guys to be able to wear what they want, and I agree you have to get out there and do it. Do you go out AS a guy in a skirt or are you dressed as a woman? There is a big difference. Because if you are dressed as a woman people treat you A LOT differently than a guy wearing a skirt.
Hopefully acceptance will happen in my lifetime (Im 54) but I dont think so, but Ill keep promoting non discrimination in clothing for as long as I can.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mel,

Great sentiment for sure. I thinks sometimes people here forget that "closeted" folks suffer in silence quite often due to circumstances beyond their control. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Isha

[Lacey New]

Mel,
You are not alone and you speak for many of us who are very much in the closet. My dressing time has been very limited to maybe panties and a bra for a couple of hours here and there. Only once in the last three months have I been able to put on a dress and look and feel good. But for many years of being who I am, my limits are self imposed and I am comfortable with the choices and compromises that I have made. Do I wish it was otherwise? Yes, sometimes. But I also wish I had Bill Gates money too. But wishing is just that. It is not reality so I find contentment with what I am and where I am. More opportunities will come.

[emma5410]

Although I quoted you Ellie, I was not specifically referring to you. My apologies if I offended you.
I understand how difficult it is to do and I am not criticising any individual for the way they live their life. I am just making the point that nothing will ever change by wishing for it. This attitude to what is acceptable for men to wear is deeply ingrained. To change it requires action. If every closeted cross dresser walked out tomorrow in a skirt then the world may be forced to change.

I often read posts saying it is unfair that men cannot freely wear women's clothes. It was unfair when it was not acceptable for women to wear trousers. Obviously, there are other more serious examples such as when it was not acceptable for gays to be out. These attitudes were changed by the people concerned fighting the prejudice. I am just saying that CDs will have to do something similar to gain the freedom to dress as they wish.

One thing that does interest me is how many CDs would choose to appear as a man in a skirt rather than look like a woman.

[NicoleScott]

Isha, I wish you had said SOME closeted folks suffer in silence. Many of us are happy to do our thing in private. For many of us, just wearing the clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. is enough. Especially for those of us who dress, at least in part, for sexual pleasure, it's best to keep it personal and private.

[Launa]

Hi Mel,

Great sentiment for sure. I thinks sometimes people here forget that "closeted" folks suffer in silence quite often due to circumstances beyond their control. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs

Isha

This is true and I've been reminded by many folks that everbody's circumstances are different as I'm one of the members that doesn't like the closet and am vocal about getting out. Afterall even 15 years ago times were so different than today going forward in another 20 years from now there will be a lot less of us in the closet.


Isha, I wish you had said SOME closeted folks suffer in silence. Many of us are happy to do our thing in private. For many of us, just wearing the clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. is enough. Especially for those of us who dress, at least in part, for sexual pleasure, it's best to keep it personal and private.

Yes some folks are comfortable being in the closet. Wouldn't it be great though if you could be in or out and if you were out it wouldn't matter to a soul?

[Madilyn A.]

Everyone one of us have different situations, and must do what we can for pleasure and sanity. My path has kept me in my home when dressed. Often I wish it weren't so, but it fills a deep need. Perhaps that will change in time, but like Mel; it works for me, for now.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Very beautifully stated Mel! I am glad that you can look at the positive aspect of being able to express yourself with dressing even though it remains a closeted activity and probably severely limited by your available time. I think what this forum, with the many amazing people on it, has given some of us is the ability to let go of the guilt we accumulated (over an entire lifetime in my case) and to really appreciate the times when we can dress up and feel good about ourselves. Crossdressing is a celebration of recognition and expression of our true nature and it is unfortunate that some in our families and some in society still look down on it but once we can accept ourselves without the guilt or shame then we can truly celebrate the positive.
Hugs,
Steph

[Kristy 56]

Melissa,my thoughts and sentiments exactly. Tastefully done :)

[Crissy Kay]

Isha, I wish you had said SOME closeted folks suffer in silence. Many of us are happy to do our thing in private. For many of us, just wearing the clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. is enough. Especially for those of us who dress, at least in part, for sexual pleasure, it's best to keep it personal and private.

I have to agree with Nicole. I like how she states it too. As I have no interest in going out "dressed", its fun for me just to be dressed up for a time. If I lived alone, I may spend more time dressed, or more likely, be spending lots of time on dating sites!!

[Anne-Sofie]

You sad it greatly Melissa! Every time we can change to our female mode I'm feeling sexy and beautiful and when I'm in male mode I look for the next opportunity to change myself to Anne-Sofie and be her for the small time I have.

Anne-Sofie
x