Uncomfortable situation

[Rachel1225]

So I'm dressed for success ! NOT SEX! Casually shopping at a local doller general where the staff is very supportive and knows who I am. This jerk starts following me around from isle to isle, making comments about my clothes and asking for my #. Made a rush for the door without even getting what I went there for ! The cashier prevented him from following me out the door! Dammit !

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, crazy people are everywhere I guess.

[Jean 103]

I was in San Diego a while ago. I stopped at a drug store down town for some things. A homeless type followed me in to the store. I went straight to the back of the store around the aisle and there was a store employee, I walked up to him turned and stood by him. The man left. If you feel threatened go for help. Sorry you had to experience this. Be safe
Take care
Jean

[kimdl93]

Yikes....not a good experience. Sorry the jerk messed with your day, but pleased that the clerk intervened on your behalf.

[Lorileah]

a simple but polite "no, leave me alone" should have ended it otherwise you should have gone to the cashier on your own and reported it. You should not have to end your day because someone else

[cheryl reeves]

yall need to take female self defense classes. this is what i dont quite understand among cders,do you forget how to handle yourself,would you allow a jerk to be a jerk if you were in male mode? even dressed fem i can still put forth a arse whooping on a jerk who is looking to be embarassed.

[LucyNewport]

It's tricky though to confront someone when out dressed. I try to avoid confrontation no matter what "mode" I'm in, but I do feel particularly vulnerable when out in heels and a dress. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but at least the cashier had your back!

I totally agree that enlisting help is the way to go. Also staying in well known and busy areas is generally a good idea. Fighting a stalker should always be the absolute last resort. Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do that will prevent harassment every time. This happens to all women not just ones that stand out for whatever reason.

[Dana44]

I would have told him to back off. I'm strong enough to kick ass if I need to. Telling him that is what any GG does. That should work, yet if it doesn't go to the store manager or cashier and report the indecent. If you have to defend yourself. Do it. In karate, you always walk away from a fight. If you are backed into a corner, you have to defend yourself. Here in Texas, there is a stand your ground law where you cannot hurt anybody on purpose but if advanced on you can stand your ground.

[Tina_gm]

GG's often go through similar situations. Most women will tell many stories of being stalked through malls, clubs, other stores. Guys that will really creep them out. Unfortunately there are down sides to dressing in public, and this is one of them. To further add to what a GG will experience from time to time, when it comes to CDers, there is added stuff because there are those who are not CDers themselves, but admirers or chasers. While I have not had any experience since I am not a public dresser, from what I have seen and read, those who are chasers are often quite aggressive. As most women have learned to do, always be very aware of your surroundings and what is going on, and be prepared.

[deebra]

I was pumping gas into my lawnmower can in drab wearing girl jeans, hose and 3" pumps. This guy walks by about 15 feet away and the can is in between my shoes and him so I didn't think he saw, a couple seconds later he walks around the back of the pump with a sh*t eating grin on his face and asked if I wanted him to post a pic on facebook. It really took me by surprise and I had some very different thoughts as to what to do. He left and so did I, being dressed in pumps certaintly limits your options.

[sometimes_miss]

yall need to take female self defense classes. this is what i dont quite understand among cders,do you forget how to handle yourself,would you allow a jerk to be a jerk if you were in male mode? even dressed fem i can still put forth a arse whooping on a jerk who is looking to be embarassed.
Oh yeah, then you both get carted off to jail. Great idea, You'll love being in lockup wearing a dress, with other assholes. Sounds like a blast! Fighting in public is usually resolved by the law, and they sort out who's right and who's wrong after the fact. Especially if you put in that ass whipping and don't have a bunch of witnesses to back you up (or sometimes even if you do, the cops don't always sit around discussing things at the scene of the incident, you get to go 'downtown').
Discretion is the better way to go. Better to avoid an incident than have one.

[DanaR]

I recommend to all of my female friends that they should read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It should be required reading for all women.

[ChristinaK]

Particularly in a state like California, fighting is assault and there's a good chance you would both go to jail. When dressed like a lady, act like one is my motto. Now, if attacked, my military training would bring me back to male mode pretty quick.

It's kind of funny that people think we are the weird ones. Just look at the kooks we attract!

[docrobbysherry]

I LOVE these macho, "Kick Ass", posts! That's the way guys think, not women.

Women don't wander down dark streets alone. And, they don't worry about being approached in a mall store during the day. And, neither should u. If u act creepy when a creep is bothering u, you may encourage him.

Simply face him up and say u r not interested, straight, have syphilus, r married to a cop, or any other discouraging thing u can think of. Tell him to leave u alone or you'll call for help.

Some men r attracted to dressers. Even I get approached occasionally. And, I'm the homeliest old broad you'll see without my masks. When approached in public venues I tell them I'm straight and not interested and they leave me be.

[XemmaX]

you should always defend yourself. you don't have to be a krav maga master to be good at it either. if it's verbal walk away fast, if it's physical a push and run motion is often better than breaking the dude's jaw or hitting him in the face with a high heeled shoe! only do that unless you really have to! check your state's laws on things like pepper spray, as that is very good at allowing you to escape a physically dangerous situation. defending yourself is not macho but an act of empowerment for us that we will not be victims.

[Yoshisaur]

I probably would have to him to leave me alone or notified an employee if I was in that situation, scary stuff, crazy people.

[I Am Paula]

you should always defend yourself. you don't have to be a krav maga master to be good at it either. if it's verbal walk away fast, if it's physical a push and run motion is often better than breaking the dude's jaw or hitting him in the face with a high heeled shoe! only do that unless you really have to! check your state's laws on things like pepper spray, as that is very good at allowing you to escape a physically dangerous situation. defending yourself is not macho but an act of empowerment for us that we will not be victims.

Every law agency, and self defense teacher says the same thing about pepper spray. It is the worst self defense item ever created. Slow, and ineffective. Imagine telling your assailant- 'Hold on a minute', while you rummage thru your purse. 'Just gimme another second, I've got to line up these two little arrows on the side here....Ok almost ready, please stand downwind 3-6 feet from me'. If you decide that for faster access, you will turn off the safety, and keep it in your coat pocket, at some point long before an attack, your will liberally season your pocket with Cajun spice. Almost as useless as saying 'Stop! I have a gun at home!'

[Dana44]

Hah, I remember a GG pulling pepper spray, this was a while ago and they could use it faster. Anyway he came up to her and said something nasty and she pepper sprayed him. This was in a store and was pretty funny. Bet that guy learned a lesson. He was not happy and hurting. She just moved on.

[Jorja]

I would have delivered a palm-heel strike to the nose and moved on. A girl doesn't have time to fool with such nonsense when there is shopping to be done.

[donnalee]

The best defense is to see trouble coming and avoid it, but sometimes that just isn't possible.
When approached like this, tell them firmly that you're not interested and keep moving if they are stationary, It will take them a moment to decide whether or not to pursue you; put as much distance between the two of you as you can; this will make it less likely that he will. If you are standing still and are approached, say "Sorry, I'm not interested." while moving perpendicular to the normal traffic path (i.e. cross the street, avoiding being struck by a vehicle, of course), being as conspicuous as possible; the more people who see you, the better and the less likely that you will be pursued
Running is probably the worst course; you'll only make him want to chase you. If you can't manage to move away from him, find the nearest wall and get your back against it; that way you can't be attacked from behind. if you're face to face, you've already given up your best options for self defense, including any weapons you may have. The only thing left is to apply the greatest force you can against your opponent's weakest and most sensitive points. Use a single knuckle to the Adam's apple, a knee to the crotch, a spike heel to the instep, etc. Swing through the target and punch as hard as possible, but keep your balance; most fights are won when the opponent loses theirs.
The whole idea is to surprise and disable your opponent in order to break free and get out of there as fast as you possibly can, hopefully with your opponent too disabled to chase you effectively. It should be approached coldly and analytically without allowing emotion to affect your judgment; while this is difficult, it is doable and very necessary to your survival in an attack. It is necessary to make your response totally out of proportion to theirs; surprise is a key element here. These principles have been learned and tested by me over a lifetime; they can be used by anyone, even if the attacker is twice your size and half your age and will perhaps help keep you alive and undamaged.

[Stephanie47]

Once my wife was trying to get a group of men to comply with her request. It was not anything threatening, just a bunch of a-holes believing women do not have any power. She pulled out her phone and told them, if they would not comply, then she was going to call the police. She faked calling 9-1-1, which got those men to comply with a simple request.

If you're confronted with any situation where your well being is on the line, whip out the cell phone. And, since almost everyone, except me, has a phone which records audio and video, get it going.