An Obituary option

[Sarah Doepner]

The senior members of this forum have ventured forth on this topic before, but I haven't seen this as an option. How about a second obituary for your femme side? The newspapers wouldn't bother to check anything as long as they got paid and you could use your best photo. It's something you could write yourself and have one someone you know and trust submit it when that dark time arrived.

Even if I don't do that I think I'll write one up just for the entertainment. The questions would be what to put in the writeup. Parents and family member names might not make it but schooling, work history and CD experience or community activity would. There could even be a shout out to all the CD's in the world with support for, or suggestions for "in the memory of" donations to a local orginaztion that support the Trans* community.

[Persephone]

Nice idea, Sarah!

I hadn't thought about the obit, but my spouse and I have talked about having a Memorial Service here in town for me as Barbara with a funeral for "him" in the far away place where I plan to be buried. Since I am now legally Barbara the cemetary records will have to show that, but my spouse would prefer if the tombstone had my male name on it. Since I'm told that, like the obit, the cemetary doesn't care what you put on the stone so long as you pay for it, the plan will, hopefully, work.

We should really all try to figure out how to notify our friends here online (here, FB, etc.) when we pass. Haven't completely done that myself yet.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[wilt575]

A second thing thought is how do you want viewing, open casket, fem , out to everyone, or male or closed casket . Myself open dressed in bra, baby doll nighty, after all they say your asleep, be dressed for it. Otherwise bra (don't want my implants to be flat and sag) top capris just casual.

[Pat]

Really? Will the paper take an obit without documentation? I'd expect to see more joke obituaries if that were the case. I seem to recall having to show my local paper a copy of the death certificate when I put up the obit for my Mom but it was a long time ago and I don't really recall.

[Bria]

I think that usually obits are submitted by/thru the funeral home, so if they are OK with it........

Hugs, Bria

[SherriePall]

Years ago, in the local bigger city newspaper, there was an obit for a gentleman who died while living in another area of the state. Among the things mentioned was that he was a member of Renaissance in Bethlehem. At the time I took it that it was an organization for the betterment of that city.
However, months later it dawned on me that it probably meant the trans group Renaissance which has a branch in Bethlehem. Ironically, I had known about the group for years, but it never sank in.
So, maybe we could use our memberships in TG organizations in our obits. Or you can say, "He enjoyed his many visits to the Queen Mary." or whatever.

[Jodi]

Where I live, an obituary must be submitted to the newspaper, by a funeral home. An alternate obit would have to go thru the funeral director.

Jodi

[Persephone]

A second thing thought is how do you want viewing, open casket, fem , out to everyone, or male or closed casket . Myself open dressed in bra, baby doll nighty, after all they say your asleep, be dressed for it. Otherwise bra (don't want my implants to be flat and sag) top capris just casual.

The one thng I've made clear to my family is that while I'd love to have a pair of heels along with me I definitely do not want to be wearing either a girdle or a corset! Eternity in one of those would be no fun!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[TeriJean72]

Maybe, or maybe not.. I would guess it would depend on if you fancied corsets or not. :)

As to the Obit... I think that funeral homes still have to be the ones submitting them. It is possible though that a understanding funeral director might be willing to accommodate the request.

[donnalee]

Thank you Sarah, for coming up with one of the few original threads I've read in the past year.
If one would like to exercise this option, I do have a few suggestions as how to go about it:
All funeral businesses sell prepaid plans; in these plans, you may list your final wishes; this option can be specified in this contract. As this may be considered unusual or perhaps unwelcome depending on who you're dealing with and what part of the world you are in and as you won't be around to insure compliance, I would strongly suggest you retain an attorney to make certain that the contract is air-tight under any laws in place in your community and to monitor the funeral director to make sure all of your wishes are complied with. The attorney is obligated to keep your wishes private if you so wish; the funeral director and home can be obligated to do so by the terms of the contract, so compliance can be iron-clad and private as you may wish. This can be done over objections of family if that is a concern.
You will also give your family some relief from final expenses, which may be of comfort to them.

[lingerieLiz]

I don't plan on an obit or a funeral.