What is the secret please

[Jennifer H]

Can anyone please tell me the secret to walking like a girl?.

There have probably been previous threads on this subject but I cant find them.

I think I look quite reasonable when dressed but the thing that lets me down is that I walk like a man. I have tried alsorts of ways like taking smaller steps, placing one foot immediately in front of the other, trying to walk with my toes pointed out etc and all I succeeded in doing is looking as if I am on board a rolling ship.

I do so hope someone can point me in the right direction.

Thank you in anticipation.

Jennifer, xxxx

[Kate Simmons]

Women walk from the hips. Watching women dance and then practicing can help. :)

[Marcelle]

Hi Jennifer,

It will take some practice because of the way we are built. Specifically, men tend to carry their weight through their upper body regions and years of socializing "boy walk" doesn't help either. Women carry their weight through their hips which gives them the characteristic gait you are alluding to. However, not all women walk the same way. Spend some time people watching and you will note a variety of gaits in women and not all walk like runway models. My advice is relax you gait, smaller steps help, don't force your gait through your shoulders (i.e., don't swagger). Keep your arms more to your side but don't just let them hang there . . . some swing would be natural. Keep practicing and you will get the hang of it.

Hugs

Isha

[Erika Lyne]

I say that the best way to see the differences between the sexes is to observe from a safe distance. This has lead me to a more convincing walk, but it takes time and effort, a lot of effort to unlearn what you've known, unconsciously, your whole life. In this case, head to a mall or busy park and sit at a bench or in a food court and observe BOTH men and women in how they carry themselves. If it is just walking straight, then a bench in a busy path, intersection or corridor would be best. If you've seen some differences and want to advance the observation, a food court sit might prove to be better. At the food court the pace of a walk changes rapidly, hand movements really change, stopping to read a menu on the wall or even carrying a tray really change things up. Don't forget to watch for subtleties, like the ever so slight difference of a woman walking alone, with girl friends or with a man. Men have many fewer differences but women change a lot, slightly.

One of the weirdest things I've noticed but makes a huge difference is the hands. Men tend to walk with the back of the hand forward while women walk with the palms more forward. Once you change the position of your hands a whole lot changes without even trying. Your elbows tuck in close to the side of the ribs, shoulders slide back, opening up of the chest and improved posture. All of these things tend to be less masculine normative, less threatening and less aggressive in body language. (Although, many take a passive male posture as threatening because it goes against the norm.)

Those are all unconscious movements. One you'll have to consentrate on is how far and wide to swing your arms. Remeber, women have hips as wide as their shoulders, men don't. Women have to swing their hands out to avoid hitting their hips while men can let their's hang like dead meat. I can only come up with an analogy of a male who has a work belt with lots hanging off of it. It over exaggerates this movement a bit but if you ever watch one walk (carpenter, EMT, police) when they swing their arms around the belt it changes their entire gait. It hardly looks feminine at all but it is an example of how avoiding the tools at their hip changes a lot in their movements.

Another hand position to adjust is how to carry your fingers. Men tend to have a relaxed state in the hand similar to a loose fist. Women tend to have their hands more pointed, with their thumb closer to the first knuckle of their ring and middle finger with all fingers slightly curled more than the neighboring finger. A good way to think of it is to imagine your finger nails freshly polished and trying not to smudge them. Holding each finger slightly more bent than the neighbor keeps the nail from finding the other fingers while protecting them from accidentally hitting other objects, same goes with the thumb. Another thumb position can be outside the index finger, still protecting freshly polished nails from finding its neighbor and this position allows for a longer nail.

These are some of my observations. Just be patient and observant. One day, it'll click for you and you'll be amazed how well you can carry yourself.

-E

[Dianne S]

I would say: Smaller strides, arms closer in to the body, hands palm-forward. Also, walk up straight -- don't slouch. And keep your feet parallel and don't bow your legs.

Also, don't make exaggerated hip-swinging movements in an effort to look feminine... you'll end up looking silly.

[JayeLefaye]

Really good suggestions already. Keep your shoulders back, and if you swing your arms at all, do it from the elbows.

I read on here the other day another excellent, simple, suggestion. When taking a step, keep the heel of your back foot on the ground until the heel of your forward foot hits the ground. That will go a long way towards keeping the movement in your hips.

Jaye

[aprilgirl]

All excellent advice. If you have the means to video yourself walking, it will give you good feedback on how you're progressing.

[lesli]

along with all the suggestions already given, i found a 3" pair of heels helped me to take the previous suggestions to heart a lot quicker.

[sometimes_miss]

Check out this page and you'll discover the differences. Then you can practice changing what you're doing bit by bit. http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Another area you might consider is partaking in activities that teach lightness of movement. I've noticed that men tend to move more heavily because they generally have more inertia to overcome due to greater body mass. Activities like ballroom dancing, certain sports like boxing or martial arts (mine is fencing), or even tai chi can teach you control of body movements that will aid your feminine walk.

Bridget

[Rhanda]

Learn to walk in heels. This will probably make you to throw your shoulders back and your boobs out. Whatever your gait you should try to hit the floor with the sole first. This makes your hips do the work. The really graceful ladies will walk like this even in flats. You will have to think for each step at first but when you learn you will probably be doing it when you are dressed and presenting as a man. Practice in private every chance you get. Never wear flip flops!

I wear heels almost all the time and when I have to wear work boots my feet get tired because I am trying to land the sole before the heel. I have work boots on right now and will change as soon as I can.
I have been told by women that most women are not as graceful as I am in my walk.
Rhanda

[Jennifer H]

Thank you all so much for the advice and I shall put everything into practice.

So much to do and so little time to do it in.

Jennifer xxx

[AngelaYVR]

I once spent a bit of time walking back and forth past a building with mirrored glass so I could see what I was doing (it was in a quiet area with no one around to wonder what the heck I was up to). Very helpful.
Also make sure that you are getting good leg extension with each step, nothing worse that a bent-legged walk in heels.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have the basics right, just practice, it takes time.

[Adriana Moretti]

my secret is have a glass of wine, loosen up, and relax....after that its easy......then I fall down and pass out.

No but seriously I learned by walking around in 7 inch stripper heels up and down stairs...then learned to dance in them....then realized I should tone it down if i plan to stop looking like a stripper and I want to leave the closet....and from there everything was.....downhill....

but being loose and confident really does help. xoxo

I also video taped myself walking in heels for a while.....I heard those vhs tapes command top dollar on ebay now ...but it REALLY is a good idea...

[CynthiaD]

It's all good advice here, but when you go out, you can't focus on all those little things without looking weird. Think of a woman you know and admire, and walk like her. The little things will take care of themselves.

[Alex!]

Good advice in this thread. One thing I will note, because I've seen it before in terms of "lessons" - avoid stereotypes. Women are a pretty diverse lot, and not all walk like fashion models (new school) or 1950s school marms (old school). All I can add is that it is useful to observe women walking about in an urban setting. This is because you will see all sorts of women and a good mix of fashions. Clearly, wearing heels is a challenge for some (even women), so that will take practice. I often put on these shoes when in drab (and in my house!) and walk around for a time. The heels (2" or more) somehow force the "sashaying" or hip-swinging that is apparent when observing women who have good posture walking down a street. I recall reading that decades ago, young women would practice wearing and walking in heels with books balanced on their heads. Not sure if that's true or apocryphal.

[Barbara Black]

I think Erika said it without noticing, go put on a tool belt and practice walking with it on and not hitting it with your knuckles. Of course, don't tighten it so much that you wrinkle your clothes, or put so much in it that it knocks you off balance with heels on. LOL

[Teresa]

Jennifer,
If you turn your palms out the arms swing more like a girl, doing that makes the hips turn more and the legs move naturally in the correct way. I also find when underdressed wearing a wide belt lets you feel the hips moving in the right way . After a while it feels natural , I do this when walking the dog, making sure I haven't got a jogger coming up behind me !

[Trishpdxcd2]

I think you have found a wealth of good advice here. The only thing I would add is that you need to practice and then at some point just let yourself feel like a woman. Your gate is just different when you feel feminine.

[DanaR]

A quick Google search turned up quite a bit of information.

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&as_q=&as_epq=how+to+walk+like+a+girl&as_oq=&as_eq=&as_nlo=&as_nhi=&lr=&cr=&as_qdr=all&as_sitesearch=&as_occt=any&safe=images&as_filetype=&as_rights=&gws_rd=ssl

[Dana44]

When I first went out in heels. MY SO helped me, take small steps. Put your hip into each step. When approaching a curb. Walk right up to it and then place your other heel down carefully lifting the other heel up. Off of a curb, walk to the edge with one foot and step down with the other. I agree, walk with your hips. I had on six inch heels and actually manged to walk like a girl by the time we got to the theater.

[larry]

Sorry if you have seen this but if not I thought it was good. Search for "Lucille Sorella's Femme Secrets walk like a Woman.

[Barbara Jo]

One additional thing is to not to think of yourself as a man in a dress as you will look as unnatural as a female trying to walk like a male.

Instead, you have to think of yourself as female, including having female. genitals.

Remember, you are not trying to walk like a drag queen but as a real female.
So, no exaggerated movements but, smooth graceful feminine movements. :)

[JamieG]

I'm certainly no expert on this, but I can try to describe what feels right to me, and what a few have remarked as looking fairly natural. Think of your hip sockets as pivots. When you take a step, swing your body from the hip pivot of the foot that touches the floor. That is, when your left foot hits the floor, the right hip swings forward to take the next step. You can think of your pelvis as making little figure eights: center, forward and left, back and left, center, forward and right, back and right, and then return to center to repeat. If you have the opportunity, take a jazz dance class; they really work on hip isolation and this figure eight concept, although it is more pronounced for dancing than it should be in your walk. When you are feeling comfortable with the figure eights in the left/right/forward/back directions, you'll want to add some up/down movement as well. When you lift your foot raise the corresponding hip and then as you step, push through it, dropping it down and rolling your other hip up as you do so. Essentially this becomes another figure eight, but now in the up/down direction instead of the forward/back one. Note, this is a part of the body that most men don't move very much, so it will take a little time to loosen up. And I wouldn't try working it too much at first, like any unused muscles; it might feel a little sore as you start to exercise them. Finally, if something starts to hurt, stop immediately.

I'd be really interested to know if this helps anybody.

[Tracii G]

I think body shape on a female has a lot to do with the way they walk.
Super skinny women tend to walk more like a man in some respect as far as gait but the arm motion is still palms out arms tucked in.
Women with curves or more bottom heavy (pear shaped) everything works off the hips.
It seems that way to me anyway so just my opinion.

[Jorja]

So much to do and so little time to do it in. Jennifer xxx

Everyone has already given you good advice. However, the above comment caught my attention. Breath, slow down, and relax girl. This is not a race. When you are ready, you will be ready.

[suchacutie]

So much good information. The biomation video was very helpful for me.

I also agree that walking in heels is a terrific help. I would add two items: 1) choose heels with a 4" difference between heel and platform (a "net" 4 inches). This almost forces a feminine walk: leading with the hips/thighs, and 2) don't underestimate the power of strong abs! Tightening your abdominal muscles will have an incredibly strong positive enhancement of your feminine walk!

It turns out that heels are a terrific physical therapy for my back (yes, I know it's weird!) so I wear them for about an hour every morning before I leave the house. When I'm first awake (or barely awake before coffee!) my walk is anything but feminine, but after coffee and a shower, I find my abs tightening and that helps with the "hip lead" and everything falls in place!

So, not only practice, practice, practice, but having a video of your walk will help very much in fixing the nuances that I'm sure you want

Most of all: Have Fun!!!

[gailbridges]

Check out this page and you'll discover the differences. Then you can practice changing what you're doing bit by bit. http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

Miss Lexi,
This is absolutely brilliant for us girls. (or is it WE girls)

I'm pretty certain you do 3d animation. (I used to too... long ago)
Girls, if you check this out, I recommend that you turn on the LINES, and also rotate the figure.
Doing this confirmed something I had suspected for a long time.... Yes, women lead their stride in the hip region, but also their upper torso leans back. You can REALLY see that difference when you slide back and forth from male to female.
Utterly illuminating.

I just wish there was a slider to put her in high heels.

But this is OUTSTANDING!
Way to go, Lexi!

G

[Ivy]

Quit thinking and be. You have learned to be a certain way for so long, that you over think what you are doing. Walk dressed as a man and think about how you are walking, you might trip. You do have to practice, to be more natural. Do not over infisize, but float and be. Not an easy task when you think about it. Give it time and you will be fine.

[flatlander_48]

Checklist:

Good posture
Feet parallel when walking

Optionally, toes may be pointed slightly inward


When you take a step, move your forward leg slightly inward so that the thigh sweeps very lightly over the other just a bit

If you are wearing nylons, this is what makes that swishing sound


OR:

Just watch Jessica and Donna on SUITS...



DeeAnn

[gailbridges]

Great topic!

I found some good videos on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIkQtWmXKaw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNUdtoQe5sc

Funny.... last night I went to a High school awards ceremony for my child. I was watching all the teen girls very carefully.
First, most do NOT know how to walk in heels.
Second, most don't know how to dress themselves and appear put together an classy.
Out of maybe 50 girls, there were 2, maybe up to 4 that comported themselves well, and looked good.
So if we extrapolate that out, I think we might apply a similar percentage (4%-8%) of grown women can put themselves together.
Hmm, that seems rather low. Let's be generous, and double that. I'm sure many women DO learn how to do this stuff after HS.
8%-16% appear to get it together.
Fair?