How do you soften your voice to sound more feminin?

[Cassandra*]

My voice is like every other mans, semi deep obviously manly. I've been practicing and recording and it either sounds like Mike Tyson or something out of a movie. Eventually I would like to go to dinner or just out and feel as though my voice isn't a give away. Can any one help?

[hope springs]

There is plenty of videos on YouTube that show you how. Your training your voice in the upper octives, at the same time not vibrating your soft pallet. It takes time and lots of practice.

[lesli]

i've seen a lot of things on how to sound feminine and most of it is complete pile of rubbish. you have a set of vocal cords and they are tuned for a certain range. stress them and they sound like it and you get what you are experiencing now. you're first step is to realize that women have a wide range to their voices, from very high to some actually in the bass range with quite a few in the tenor bracket. embrace that fact. women form their words in a different part of the throat than guys do, look for vids on that difference and you will have a very natural sounding female tenor voice in a relatively short amount of time.

i have a gg friend that has a tenor voice and it is lovely. on the phone guys swoon over it and in person she it a delight. nobody ever says: hey, your deep voice makes you sound like a guy. it doesn't. she speaks like a girl in her dialect and how she forms her words.

also notice phrasing women use, a sure give away is to listen to a person's speech pattern to see if they are guy or gal--when you talk with a guy dialect, then people will start thinking she's a he, no matter how convincing you look.

[Sandie70]

One of the first things I've noticed in videos about training your voice is to practice speaking in what might be called a "Minnie or Mickey Mouse" voice. Speaking at the highest pitch you're capable of, you start to get your vocal chords attuned to speaking in that range. You do this in the car, when you're alone, reading a book, wherever. I've noticed that when I do this for extended times and then alter my voice to a slightly lower pitch, it starts to sound more feminine. Of course, you have to watch and practice other things as well - for instance, try not to sound "breathless." which is a dead give away that it's not a woman's voice. And start really listening to other women and how they change the cadence of their voices when speaking. There's much more a professional voice coach could teach us, but this is a start. Or, at least it has been for me.

[PaulaQ]

I've been working on this with different voice coaches for about a year and half.

I know women who watch a few YouTube videos, practice, and a month later, they sound great.

I wasn't one of them. Not even close. I watched, I practiced, and I got called "sir" on the phone.

So what I'd recommend is buying Kathe Perez' 30 day crash course: 30daycrashcourse.com
It's $127. You get structured lessons, and ways to measure your progress. The course itself requires a good deal of practice, and this is tedious. You HAVE to practice regularly, or you will not succeed. (If you were one of those people, you wouldn't need this course.)

Although I'd had other voice coaching, I found the course helpful, and after doing it my voice is consistently passable. I'm continuing to work on it with Kathe because I want "pretty", not just "passable."

This is not, at least to me, mostly fun work. You have to be motivated to do it, and out of a class of about 20 of us locally, only about 3 of us really stuck with the material well enough to be successful. (We did the material as part of a support group.) I was successful, one of my friends who already had a passable voice, and the woman who coordinated the group.

It isn't that the material is difficult - it isn't. It is completely straightforward. It's more a question of being willing to do it consistently enough to make a difference. Oh, there is one other thing I noticed - you actually have to be brave enough to use the skills you've learned. I noticed a couple of the women who sounded great - but were afraid to use their new voices.

[mykell]

this is an old closed thread, but i use the technique and get a slight Sandra bullock sound from the football movie she did....

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?222216-Femme-voice-hey-ti-worked!

[Nadine Spirit]

I have gotten accused of speaking in a female manner for most of my life. People often ask my wife what is up with that. I think it is funny as I have never thought of my voice as feminine or even tried to be feminine, From what my wife tells me, I lift my voice at the end of sentences in a manner that kind of sounds as if I am asking a question. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, that is something more females do.

[AnnaMarie]

I'm lucky with this most times I pick up the phone and people think I'm female anyway!

[Cassandra*]

Thanks girls really appreciate the support on the matter. This evening I will check out YouTube and get started. Currently putting up the pool for my daughter. That's the other thing I have an 8 yr old daughter that takes up oodles of time so as they say practice makes perfect. One other question, does the voice change at all permanently?

[Alex!]

This is definitely an area I need to work on. Recently, I've been practicing, usually on my commutes in the car. Sometimes, I practice so much it is exhausting...

[sometimes_miss]

I have a bottle of wine, put on headphones and sing along in my best soprano voice to songs by female singers. Sounds real good when I can't hear myself!

[Barbara Jo]

One of the best things that I've ever read on the subject goes like this.......

Tighten up you "throat" like if you about to gargle and speak softly. The key word here is "softly"
The result will be a higher pitched voice without it sounding falsetto.
With a little practice, it can become second nature and sound quite nice.

BTW, sounding female it not just about a higher voice. It's also about how you phrase words in a sentence, etc.

[Launa]

Well I'm a different cat when it comes to the voice. I always do anything I can to make myself look the best I can but when I have to speak its male tone all the way..... If anybody looks at me funny which is 50% of the time then I stare back in a mode like now what? What do you want to do about this situation? I try not to hide from the Redneck world.

[PaulaQ]

One other question, does the voice change at all permanently?

Not really, no. Nothing you will learn to do with your voice is permanent in any physical or mechanical sense. You can switch back and forth between a male and female voice.

That said, I haven't used my male voice in 15 months, and I really don't remember how to reproduce it. I can get sort of close, but I have to be in a really bad emotional place and very dysphoric before I get back to it.

If you aren't exclusively using a female voice for months and months, there's no way this happens.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jarrodine,

When it comes to a more female sounding voice, unfortunately you are working with vocal chords which have been thickened by testosterone and our ability to mimic will be limited by many factors. Some men can stretch the range of their vocal chords to a point where the sound is softer in tone and slightly feminine but it is still in the normal range for men. The good news is that women have just a wide of range as men and as such with practice some can mimic these varying ranges (generally in the tenor spectrum) quite well. It does take practice though. The key I have found is not to force a falsetto or you wind up sounding like Mickey Mouse or Monty Pythonish. Just work with your normal tone and soften the expression to the point where you are at a comfortable range for your own voice . . . remember if you are going to carry on a conversation, you have to be able to hold this range for some time.

The one thing many do not do is listen to inflexions and manner of speech. Men tend to speak more truncated and while we all have inflexions, women's inflexions can differ from men with emphasis placed at different points. Take some time and just casually listen to women talking and you will not a different range of inflexion. Once you have hoisted all this into your own speech pattern . . . practice, practice and practice some more. Eventually you will get there. The other thing you have to remember/accept is that it will never be perfect and even though it will be close, people will most likely read your voice as male . . . not trying to sound doom and gloom, but you do need to prepare yourself for that fact.

Good luck

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

I'm still not wonderful at this - but it should give you some idea of what is possible. Given where I started, I wasn't ever really sure that I'd have a passable voice. The second recording is actually a bit higher than my daily speaking voice. I'm trying to get a more feminine, resonant sound, and that means pitching it up a bit further than I usually do.

Old, horrible, guy voice. Or at least as well as I can reproduce it anymore - I don't think I'll get called "ma'am" much using this over the phone, huh?

http://www.casa3d.net/paula/DeadName-Rainbow.wma
(Apparently, I can remember how to bring up this voice - I never use it, and I am rusty with it.)

My voice as it is now, after working on it for 15 months.

http://www.casa3d.net/paula/Paula-rainbow-2.wma

I'm just trying to show you what is possible, even if you aren't naturally very good at this. (I'm not.)

[xXxTina]

I'm still not wonderful at this - but it should give you some idea of what is possible. Given where I started, I wasn't ever really sure that I'd have a passable voice. The second recording is actually a bit higher than my daily speaking voice. I'm trying to get a more feminine, resonant sound, and that means pitching it up a bit further than I usually do.

Old, horrible, guy voice. Or at least as well as I can reproduce it anymore - I don't think I'll get called "ma'am" much using this over the phone, huh?

http://www.casa3d.net/paula/DeadName-Rainbow.wma
(Apparently, I can remember how to bring up this voice - I never use it, and I am rusty with it.)

My voice as it is now, after working on it for 15 months.

http://www.casa3d.net/paula/paula-rainbow-2.wma

I'm just trying to show you what is possible, even if you aren't naturally very good at this. (I'm not.)
Hi PaulaQ,

I enjoyed reading your posts, and I was able to hear the first file you sent, but clicking on the link of the second file of your voice after 15 months says "404 - Not Found"? By the way, great choice for reading material! :)

-Tina

[PaulaQ]

Fixed the link

[Beverley Sims]

I just speak softly, practice by singing to Helen Shapiro records.
I find this excellent voice training.

Breathing exercises also help.

When singing, don't strain your voice and breathing, keep relaxed and in control of breathing at all times.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

I just listened to PaulaQ's audio links. What an amazing difference Paula, congratulations on the voice! Thanks for the link to the online course.
Hugs,
Stephanie