Covering up your secret

[FrillyKnickers]

Hi everyone,

I am a closet wearer and would very much like to stay that way. What I would like to ask is how do you cover up your secret if someone should catch you dressed up? What do you say to cover things up?

In a few weeks time I will be placing an online order for numerous items of sexy lingerie, my concern is, if it should be opened by someone in my family who I don't want to know my secret; what do I do/say?

Thank you.

[Tina Dixon]

Never been cought, but I never had as much stuff as I do now either, when stuff come in the mail and its for me know one else opens it, same for the SO, I don't open hers, dont have your name on it it dont belong to you, that simple.

[FrillyKnickers]

I agree, but it is not always as simple as that, particularly sharing the same initials as someone else in your family!

[DanaJ]

Get a PO box so that your orders go there, and you can pick it up at your convenience.

[FrillyKnickers]

I live in the UK, not all places will deliver to a PO Box.

[Helen MC]

In the UK many Mail Order / Internet Traders will deliver to a works address but that could cause you even greater problems if it went wrong and someone in Good Inwards or whatever opened the parcel. Better to find a trustworthy friend who will be happy to receive a delivery for you at their home and who you know will not open the parcel.

[AprilMae]

Over here we have the UPS store and similar places that give you an actual street address. Maybe such a thing exists over there.

[rubydiamond]

in the usa the postnet and kinko kind of mail places will let you have stuff deliverd to their address for a small charge...here is was one dollar in my case.

Ruby

[Jasmine Ellis]

Go to the post office it self and ask them to hold your parsels there to be picked up from you. They ask a few questions, and the postman only gives out a post card which only you can go and get the item.
Try it dear, this is the best way.

[Stacy Reso]

when i have been caught i didnt try to cover it up i just confessed to who i m

[FrillyKnickers]

Thanks for all your suggestions and help. Getting mail held at the post office is an option I have already considered Jasmin, however, it only takes someone in the family being 'helpful' and collect the undelivered mail and then I am back to square one.

I really am after feasible excuses that could be used should someone open a parcel of mine and it contains ladies lingerie. I am living with my parents so I don't need to worry about a wife thinking I am having an affair with another woman.

So far I have thought of -

- Present for co-worker's girlfriend he has asked me to deliver to home, so she won't find it - having the item gift wrapped would add to the authenticity of this claim (unfortuntely, where I order from they don't do gift wrapping!).
- Fancy dress party.

That's it really.

I don't want to be so deceitful, but everytime I order something it is so stressful and worrying. I will defintely be available at home when the order arrives, so I will make sure I pick up the parcel, but I still need a back up plan should the worse happen.

Thanks.

[Kimberley]

Gift Wrapping.... hmmm. Tried personal shopping and asked to have your purchases gift wrapped?

I used to do it when I was young.

[Kimberley]

Getting caught while dressed is another story. You provide little detail about yourself so..... look for a CD support group like Tri-Ess and dress to kill for their meetings. Meet some friends there, hang out and go to the makeup and shopping parties.;) HAVE FUN but BE SAFE!!!

Don't dress at home or anywhere you might "get caught" unless you are ready to come out and that is a very frightening proposition especially without a good support system. Find a CD support group if you can.

[FrillyKnickers]

Oh yes, all the time Kimberley, highstreet shopping doesn't bother me at all, but there isn't the same selection as available online, plus the items I am interested in I have only seen on the Internet.

[Julie York]

I understand your problem. For your own peace of mind it would be easier to have things delivered to anywhere but your home address. You need a co-conspirator. You don't give your location but maybe if you found a friend on the forum nearby who would take your parcels, no questions asked it would solve the problem.

[FrillyKnickers]

I am sorry being so secretive, but I don't like giving my personal details out online. I will definetly be going ahead with these deliveries in the next week or so, I have done this sort of thing before and I don't place deliveries when I know I won't be at home (I always use next day delivery!), so I think I have a fairly big safety net, I am just worried should the parcel be opened by someone else in the family.

That day I won't leave the front window until my items arrive! It's just a lot of stress for me - I have known what I want to order for weeks now, and it is frustrating that I can't just go ahead and order them, plus, will they still be in stock?

[Shelby]

For me, I am very active in community theater and always have stuff shipped to me via mail, UPS or Fedex. So my parents are used to seeing packages at the back door. I am lucky I get home from work before them and if I won't be I just tell them I'm expecting a package, it contains cables or gaffer tape, something that I guess will match the shipping package. If they even suspect that I have things delievered, which I doubt, then it doesn't happen very often as far as they know. Sometimes the best way to hide your secret is to hide it right under their noses. Do they know or expect you to recieve packages from known senders? Get them used to seeing packages at the door, and mention what was in those unsecretive packages, so when the secret lifestyle ones show up, they will think nothing of it. You have to get used to being a good liar.

[FrillyKnickers]

Thanks Shelby. No disrespect to any of the others, but that is more the sort of reply I was looking for, if anyone else has some ideas, keep them coming!

[Helen MC]

I don't know if the "Poste Restante" service still operates in the UK, but what you may be able to arrange is for the parcel to be delivered to another post office NOT the one your family may call at, or indeed left at the Sorting Office for you to collect. Indeed, when I have been out when a parcel has been delivered by the Royal Mail, they will leave a card and I will then have to collect it from the Sorting Office. This may be more difficult with delivery companies such as White Arrow, City Link, Securicor etc where if they fail to deliver to a home address one has to collect from their depot which could be miles away.

I would have a cover story if the parcel is delivered to your home address, e.g. a present for a lady friend as even if they don't open it knowing the nosiness of parents they may well ask what you have ordered. I still feel it is better to find a friend or workmate who will NOT ask questions and who will be prepared to receive a parcel at their address on your behalf.

[livy_m_b]

Unless you're a better liar than I am, ambiguous statements are a good opening: "Oh my gosh, what is this stuff - I was trying to order (insert realistic objects of choice)." One suggestion was to deceive in open view - suggestion - start ordering things by mail and now and then slip in that special order - you can have your confrontation on opening the mail over items that don't matter.

[Amanda420]

I am sorry being so secretive, but I don't like giving my personal details out online. I will definetly be going ahead with these deliveries in the next week or so, I have done this sort of thing before and I don't place deliveries when I know I won't be at home (I always use next day delivery!), so I think I have a fairly big safety net, I am just worried should the parcel be opened by someone else in the family.

That day I won't leave the front window until my items arrive! It's just a lot of stress for me - I have known what I want to order for weeks now, and it is frustrating that I can't just go ahead and order them, plus, will they still be in stock?

Is shopping in stores out of the question for you? I think Its alot faster and less stress to just go buy what you need as a guy,and get it over with it! But I live in the US and i dont know how it is in the UK, so maybe you cant?

[Lisa Marie]

Get a P.O. Box like I have one. Just ordered another wig this morning and im having it being sent there.

[FrillyKnickers]

I've got a good one!

In a couple of weeks time the Rocky Horror Show is on a tour of the UK, it will come very close to me. Anyone who knows me would know I would not want to attend it, but, I could say that the items are for some friends who are too embarassed to order them, or go into a shop. I could even prepare the ground by saying that I have been invited, but will not be going!

What does everyone else think of this excuse?

[Shelby]

I don't know about that one. If I told my parents that, they'd just say right - what are you wearing. They know I dress up for theater events, but no cding. Do your friends have names, have they ever been mentioned around the home and is there ever a likelyhood that they will have a chance encounter with your parents - because if they do - you're screwed. My mom has always told me "If you act like you know what you're doing, no one will question you." Just tell them you bought something on ebay and your expecting it. First find something of interest on ebay that you think you might want to buy without actually buying it, then make sure it isn't something that your parents will ever wonder why they have never seen it after it supposedly was delivered. Second, be cool. If you over analyze this and worry, your gonna slip up. We think better when we are in control of our brains. Thirdly, save your money for your own place to live in - that's my plans.

[Seriosilly GG]

Personally I am a GG but I've had to hide things I was getting delivered. The gift idea should work, but I agree with finding someone who can accept packages for you. Or really buying things in a store.

I don't know how old you are but if you can't drive somewhere, you can take a bus/train/subway some form of public transportation and go somewhere far enough from where you live that there is no chance someone will recognize you. If anyone makes comments, say it is for a girlfriend, how else will they know the difference anyway?

[FrillyKnickers]

Thanks seriosilly. I have decided to relax a little, I think everything should go fine, I need to choose an excuse and stick to it should the worse happen. As long as my full name is used (I shall email the online store after placing the order and make sure of it!) rather than my initials, everything should be alright.