Why do we wait.

[Trinity Sue]

Just coming off a year of no time days . I started looking for what I had lost. I found my clothes and dressed, sitting here at my laptop , I started looking at my favorites. OMG there it was , this forum , so I clicked , it was still here . With a few misunderstanding I was back ,reading post , the more I read the more I relaxed .
My question is why do we wait ? I am in my late Fifties finding myself wanting more , I want to move down the path, slowly but move . Is this because I feel secure ..maybe times have changed and it is excepted more. I have not been out in about 30yrs. It seems more of us are making the changes . Why do we wait ?

[DonnaT]

We (some) wait until we are ready. Some things can't be rushed.

[ReineD]

My question is why do we wait ? I am in my late Fifties finding myself wanting more , I want to move down the path, slowly but move .

No matter the situation, I think that most of us do what we can with what we have. My SO didn't develop the CDing until his forties because prior to this, he was in school getting a grad degree and doing research (long, long hours and rooming with others), and then it took another 10 years of long hours and arduous work to get tenure. His priorities were on other things than the CDing during all those years, he was enmeshed in his research. He finally had more time (and money) in his forties and could give in to less work and more fun. Other people feel freer after their kids have gone off to college. Some people here began to explore this after their parents passed away (if they were close physically to their parents). Or after a divorce. I think if someone feels they can (when their kids are younger for example, or if they don't have a career that takes 70 hours per week), then they will, but probably not to the same degree as they will when the kids are gone and they aren't working so hard.

It's a question of shifting responsibilities for many people and also their life priorities change, as they do with all of us as we age.

[Teresa]

Trintiy Sue,
I find it's not so much waiting as accepting facts about CDing, I realise now that it's for life, things have to change, hiding behind closed doors and dealing with secrets and lies is mentally exhausting ! What is so wrong with what we're doing to put ourselves through the torture for so many years, you're still the same person only dressed differently sometimes.
Do you want more or just be comfortable and enjoy what dressing brings you ?

[Rhandi Spencer]

Trinity Sue,
Being in my mid fifties and really starting down this path, I have asked this as well. What The others have said is very true in my life, career, children, church, orher hobbies etc. For me it was also a realization that I really want to CD. I remember throughout my life sneaking into sisters, mom, friends mom, or wifes clothing. Now I want my own. I only underdress at moment, however that is changing too. God luck

Randi Sue

[Kate Simmons]

I was in my mid fifties until I got comfortable and "came out". Even though I have dressed most of my life. I made a series of "music videos" in my 30's but mostly kept things under wraps until I was ready. Then I joined a TG Org and came into my own expressing myself dancing and performing en femme at my local LGBT resort These days I'm comfortable with who I am and how I express myself. Basically these are my "golden years" and I plan to enjoy them to the fullest.:battingeyelashes::)

[Kandi Robbins]

For me, the so called "pink fog" rolled thick when one of two things occurred: high stress and/or idle time. While my children were growing up, work and their lives filled my days. I had the occasional urge, but nowhere near what I do now. A decade ago, I went through a business failure with significant collateral damage, the stress level was through the roof. My CDing stepped up significantly. Fast forward to last fall. The nest is empty and I have a totally mindless job. The urge became unbearable, forcing me to make some decisons leading to some good things. I had to succumb to the fact this was never going away and the realization that I am who I am. I embraced my crossdressing and the rest is history. Not a day goes by that I don't do or wear something feminine, I have reshaped myself (in a very healthy and good way, male and female) and I have never been a happier person. It appears that it is not that uncommon for our CD urges to increase at this time of our lives. I asked a similar question here a few months back.

[gailbridges]

For me, the so called "pink fog" rolled thick when one of two things occurred: high stress and/or idle time. While my children were growing up, work and their lives filled my days. I had the occasional urge, but nowhere near what I do now. A decade ago, I went through a business failure with significant collateral damage, the stress level was through the roof. My CDing stepped up significantly. Fast forward to last fall. The nest is empty and I have a totally mindless job. The urge became unbearable, forcing me to make some decisons leading to some good things. I had to succumb to the fact this was never going away and the realization that I am who I am. I embraced my crossdressing and the rest is history. Not a day goes by that I don't do or wear something feminine, I have reshaped myself (in a very healthy and good way, male and female) and I have never been a happier person. It appears that it is not that uncommon for our CD urges to increase at this time of our lives. I asked a similar question here a few months back.

"Pink Fog" is a great term. I use it myself.
I have noticed that my "girl urge" comes on stronger as well when there is stress or boredom. I'm currently unemployed and trying to train myself to do web design & development, but being at the computer is definitely a trigger. It's too easy to sit down and chat with friends or make new friends or.... whatever, rather than get learning and work done.

(Oh, and I'm also changing my shape in a healthy way... diet & exercise. I've lost 15 lbs in about a month. I'm 5' 11 1/3", and want to get down to 150 lbs. I still have a ways to go.)

As to the main topic.... We wait out of fear. Let's face it... as adults, we KNOW how the world works, and we've grown up in an era of homophobia, and non-acceptance. There are dangers out there. Many of us have responsibilities to other that don't involve being girly. Even though conditions are getting better for LGBT people, they are far from ideal. And we who are in the closet do enjoy certain privileges that we fear losing if we are seen as anything less than manly.
I live all those things. I'll cop to it. There are things I enjoy about being a guy. I like thinking logically. I like understanding maps. I like being an athlete and musician, and receiving a certain respect for being those things as a guy. I like, as a dad, that I get away with certain privileges because I'm the DAD.

I often wonder exactly how trans I might be. If I had to be Gail for 24/7 and every day of the year, the whole girliness thing might wear off. I doubt I'll ever experience that though.

[gailbridges]

Have you posted those videos to youtube?

[sometimes_miss]

We wait out of fear. Let's face it... as adults, we KNOW how the world works, and we've grown up in an era of homophobia, and non-acceptance. There are dangers out there. .
Having grown up being the outcast througout my entire childhood/adolescence, I will never forget being picked on and getting into fights just because of my appearance. I can remember those days very well, and have absolutely no desire to live through that again. Sure, I grew up into becoming bigger and stronger than about 99% of the population, but that does not mean that I want to have to get into fights to defend myself from all the idiots who want to show the world that they're tougher than 'the big sissy'. There are still far too many people out there who hate us, and are willing to kill us, just because of what we are. And I have to remind myself that some of them do it just for recreation.

[michellecd9999]

I am in my late 50's. While I have dressed since I was around 12, I did not get "serious" about it (dressing up all the way with makeup, breast forms, good wig etc) until about 11 years ago. I think a lot of factors have to do with what you have already pointed out - more time/opportunity to dress, less personal/work stress, more money to spend on CDing, learning to accept our-self, etc. I think a big factor is also that we start to loose testosterone and our body and brain changes. My wife always said everything is effected by hormones! The older I get the more feminine I feel and think. I think the development of the internet and knowing I am not alone is also a factor. I do wish I had dressed more when I was younger and had a better body and less wear and tear on the face.

[bobbimo]

I'm in my 60's and each year the give s**t syndrome gets stronger. Before I knew what this CDing thing was I would never wear anything pink or even look longingly in the lingerie dept. Buying pantyhose for my wife was enough of a panic attack that I almost passed out.
Now, any every year on, I dont give a S**T. I'm way to old to care about what other people think, I dont have to dazzle a boss, I just enjoy all the feminine things that I can. ITS A MARVELOUS THRILL AND MAKES ME VERY HAPPY.
Bobbi

[Barbara Black]

Through times of great stress, crossdressing seems like the alternative to curling up in a ball and rolling into a corner. It is much better than doing that because it is something that we really want to do rather than having to do to deal with the stress. At least, this is the way it goes for me. I'm so much happier putting on a dress and moving on, rather than crawling into a corner and wondering if it will all end soon.

[Beverley Sims]

You may not have been waiting as much as having more time on your hands now.

[docrobbysherry]

Waiting? Have u ever waited for anything else in your life? Waited to get married? Waited for better job opportunities? Waited to have kids? Waited until u had enuff money for something? Waited until your kids moved out?

How is that any different that waiting until it's the rite time to start dressing?