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View Full Version : Did anyone experiance their female side making their male side better/stronger



cassiekat
05-23-2015, 04:13 PM
I know this is a strange question but that's what I have been going through recently. I haven't been on the forum for a little bit. I just got diagnosed with G.I.D still working out the two personality thing. I was always just shy of being a true alpha male because of my emotional instability. Now that I have known Cassandra for about a year and a half and on the right meds I have become more emotionally level. Today I was having a thought that to truly become an alpha male I need to become a woman? I just got my ears pierced a couple weeks ago and I almost ripped the right one out twice by accident😄 Felt something on my ear.😄 I always felt dressing like a woman made me weak or gay. Now I realise it's one of my greatest strengths. I wish I could say that I am truly over the social embarrassment but I am getting better and one day either go out whenever the need arises without trying to make excuses for not doing it to myself. Thanks for listening.

CynthiaD
05-23-2015, 04:41 PM
Yes, I've felt the same thing. Once you realize you're not broken, you're free to grow in many directions.

Lee Andrews
05-23-2015, 05:24 PM
I feel like a more rounded person embracing my feminine side. If that makes any sense.

Dana44
05-23-2015, 05:31 PM
It is strange, yet I think that my male side is stronger. I like to show my fem side, yet once that is done, my male side is good and when you are good you are strong. I never had the experience that when I dress that I am weak or Gay. I would stick up for myself whether male or female dressed.

ErikaS
05-23-2015, 05:34 PM
I understand to some extent, I am becoming more aware and to fully embrace Erika inside me who has made me a bit stronger. being in the heman women haters club (U.S Army) for a long time and fighting that alpha male thing. I just now started seeing a therapist at the VA who is helping me better understand. Its early but I finally accepted who Erika is and moving froward. I am also a bit awkward in many things but with this group and friends and supportive SO all is good slow but good.

Erika.

MonicaMarie
05-23-2015, 05:40 PM
My short answer is "yes." I was pleased to read today this quote from actor John C. Reilly at the Cannes Film Festival:

“At the core of everything that’s wrong with the world – everything that’s imbalanced and every conflict – is an inability to balance between male and female energy,” he says. “Extremist religions are based very much on suppressing one gender and boosting another. I think if we could all recognize the fact that there’s male and female in all of us then there might be more balance in the world.”

More balance in the world has to start with more balance in ourselves. We seem to be doing our part.

AllieSF
05-23-2015, 05:42 PM
I think for some that may be the case. For others though, I think that once we get to the point to more or less accept all this as part of who we are, not feel ashamed about it and start to embrace it more, we have we have gotten rid of a lot of unnecessary mind baggage that may have held us back in how we look at life and deal with others. It maybe is like through liberation of the self we have liberated other aspects of our personality to be better and stronger individuals. Maybe it is just another form of maturing?

Nadya
05-23-2015, 06:05 PM
I find that this part of me has made me a better person. I feel that I can empathize more which I consider a plus. There needs to be more empathy in the world today.

suchacutie
05-23-2015, 11:31 PM
Discovering Tina was initially confusing because we never considered that I was anything but male. But, as time has gone on and we've let Tina evolve and find a life for herself, we noticed that BT (before Tina) time was the time of confusion because gender identities and proclivities were muddled together, surfacing in an uncontrolled and unintelligible randomness. Once we started to separate sections of my personality both the masculine and feminine sides of me came into focus. Now, if I'm in male mode and I want to invoke a part of my femininity, I know what I'm doing and not at all confused. It's great to know that I'm transgendered (bi-gendered, really) and with that knowledge has brought increased clarity!

Gardener
05-24-2015, 12:36 AM
I am not sure that there is anything novel to say. For me and others, it seems, acknowledging this part of ourselves hits on the head so many of the negative thoughts we might have had about ourselves. We can nurture ourselves rather than have feelings which stunt us. So .... We grow.

Teresa
05-24-2015, 12:54 AM
Cassie,
I think some of the things we do takes some courage, admitting to people you're a CDer, going out shopping even in drab let alone fully dressed.

Over the years I feel the guilt of CDing made me push myself harder with work trying to bury it, I might have looked stronger but it couldn't last because my health suffered and at times burnt myself out. After all those years I'm now saying this is what I've been hiding please give me some space now to be more open, I'm not interested in proving anything anymore ! It's a point that my counsellor did agree with me on, I have a personal life to live as well !

Beverley Sims
05-24-2015, 04:15 AM
When I am around women dressed I feel more empowered and relate better than when dressed in drab.

Marcelle
05-24-2015, 04:56 AM
Hi Cassie,

At first I kind of felt that way as if there was some sort of ascendency of gender (male/female) but as time went on and I began to realize "Hey this is just me, the way I was always meant to be", I found one side did not make the other stronger but more so complimented each other.

Hugs

Isha

donnalee
05-24-2015, 06:19 AM
Well, it has made me more empathetic and compassionate, although I have always felt this way. Once I realized I was trans, I also realized that it had been something womanly within me. I consider these great strengths although they are not usually considered male strengths.

Amanda M
05-24-2015, 09:51 AM
I can say - without hesitation - yes. My job demands the ability to be empathetic, the ability to put my feet in another person's shoes if you like. I have found that cross dressing has aided this process significantly. I KNOW that in essence it is an artifice. While generalizations, like comparisons can be odious, women have an inbuilt tendency to support and be empathetic. For the most part, they do not have the same degree of judgementalism as most men. There is not so much "you should" or "you must" approach in the female psyche. What a tutor of mine called "mustarbation".

Just as a curious aside. I have taken various online tests that purport to suggest what your career would be. Without exception they have said I should be a doctor, a nurse, a chaplain or a counsellor. And as it happens, that is what I am - a therapist.

Isabella Ross
05-24-2015, 10:31 AM
I'ts a "yes" for me as well. First, fully acknowledging that I'm transgendered, and accepting it, led to less frustration, less turmoil and less stress in my life for all the obvious reasons. The net result was that I am a better person. But self-acceptance has also allowed me to think and feel in a more feminine way on a daily basis. Somehow, this has resulted in me being a more caring, confident and stronger person in man mode. Maybe it's all about finding a natural balance, as Monica Marie alluded to above.

Adriana Moretti
05-24-2015, 10:42 AM
the answer is yes for me too...and I LOVE Isabellas answer...it hits on alot of points like acceptance, finding a balance, and ways to feel femme on a daily basis...I will also add...it has made me stronger& healthier physical as well as emotionally ....I am in much better shape , I eat healthy, and take better care of my skin and body which also makes me feel good no matter what clothes I'm wearing.

pamela7
05-24-2015, 05:02 PM
Yes, I have. It's as if allowing this out has enabled me to be a better man in the world.