doctors appointment

[chloe_cd]

Hi all, im off to go and see my GP tommorow (UK) about my crossdressing and the issues it has been causing with family members and also issues it has been causing for myself such as confusion about my sexuality and constantly doubting myself not to mension the mild depression because of it. I therefore want to go to see the gp so that i can be refered and talk through any issues and find out where im going with it all. just wandering if anybody had any advice on how to broche the subject as im having a hard time thinking what to say.


thanks

chloe

[Jorja]

Well, I am not from the UK but I would tell your doctor just what you have told us with a little more detail.

[Katey888]

Well, I am from the UK and I'd say much the same thing, Jorja... :)

I'd also wish you a lot of luck Chloe, as chances are you'll get referred to either phone or web counselling (yes, web counselling...) unless you believe you are fully transsexual (you may - nothing wrong with this) or you're prepared to spend a fortune on private shrinks... But try to be up front with your GP at least - they may understand, and they may even try to help (I'm afraid my faith in local GP services is at an all time low at the mo..) - so give it a shot. Easiest way is probably just to come out and say: "I crossdress - it's causing issues and I need help!" and wait for the 'expert' to ask some pertinent questions...

Good luck! :hugs:

Katey x

[emma5410]

You should also be prepared for ignorance. The level of knowledge about trans among GPs is appalling. I could tell you stories from personal experience. I doubt they will have any kind of answer for you unless they have dealt with trans people before.
Do you want referral to a gender clinic or some counselling? Personally, I would have a strong idea before I went in rather than rely on the GP. You may have a long wait for counselling on the NHS. IF you can afford it I would find a therapist who has experience in gender issues and see them privately.

[nvlady]

A little bit of ignorance may be a good thing. If your GP thinks it's a purely psychological thing, he or she may be happy to refer you to counseling with the thought that you can be "cured".

[emma5410]

The GP is more likely to believe that than know anything about Trans issues. Even when they do some are reluctant to treat trans. I was told by a psych at a gender clinic that they have a real problem getting GPs to respond and do basic things.

[Rachelakld]

Go like I did, then words are not required

246032

[Teresa]

Chloe,
Don't hesitate to tell your GP anything he/she needs to know providing they listen .
My GP thanked me for putting him the picture, now he can't be more helpful . I even showed him a picture to give some idea of the depth of my dressing, many people believe that you just have a problem with wanting to wear a dress sometimes and don't fully understand how deep it goes ! If you're being treated for depression it gives a clearer picture of what's behind the problem !

[PaulaQ]

I spoke to a group of medical students a couple of weeks ago. They received no training on LGBT issues, particularly "T" issues.

I hope your GP is great. I'm in the process of firing mine - he was not so great. He had no idea what to do for me. He also opined that I'd be a really unattractive woman. It was his attempt at levity. So funny...

[silkycdresser]

Hi chloe_cd,

I really hope your visit to the doctor went positively? I am in the UK and have talked to my GP several times about my crossdressing and confused gender issues. All they did was refer me to Cognitive Behavioural Counselling, which I didn't find effective after putting my all into it.

Through online research, I have found a couple of NHS centres specialising in such subjects, but they are in London.

http://www.tavistockandportman.nhs.uk
http://www.national.slam.nhs.uk/referrals/

People suggested I approach Relate, the charity, but they too weren't really what I was looking for.

I have considered going to a SLAA (Sex Love Addicts Anonymous) group, which is like AA, as people there may be able to relate, but the religious aspect puts me off.

I'm resigned to waiting until I can afford private therapy.

Keep us updated on how you get on!

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Chloe

At the very least I think the GP will offer to refer you to a specialist or counsellor.

Remember you GP is there to help.

I would suggest counselling is the first step

[MonicaMarie]

I'm not in the UK, and though a GP is not necessarily the same as a primary care physician (or family doctor) in the US, I imagine that they are similar in that they lack specific training in psychological counseling. I learned the hard way how unknowledgable the primary care doctors I have seen are about mental illness (not that crossdressing or being transgendered is a mental illness). For years I have gone to my family doctor about depression and anxiety, and he or she typically responded with very few questions and a prescription for my errant self-diagnosis. I had been taking medications that I learned later were poor choices for my true diagnoses, and only exacerbated the symptoms. It wasn't until I wanted to discontinue Xanax and my family doctor badly mismanaged the difficult withdrawal process that I decided to see a psychiatrist, who made a huge difference in my life by correctly diagnosing my issues and prescribing the correct medication. He put it to me this way: if you have chronic foot problems, you're going to see a podiatrist. It's the same for mental health, and likewise for your situation.

I understand that there are problems in your country in wait times and cost for therapists, but can you be impatient or place a monetary price on your well-being? In addition to the psychiatrist, I see a psychologist for talk therapy who is specifically trained in gender identity issues. In comparison to the counselors I have seen in the past who lack this specialization, my therapist is much more knowledgeable and helpful. If seeing your GP is just a necessary step in obtaining a referral to a therapist, I would recommend doing so and then seeing someone more trained in this specific area. If not, I would skip him or her altogether and instead find a good counselor. Ask friends, read reviews and be very careful in choosing the right one. And be patient (something I struggle with). I went through 5-6 therapists before I found the right one. I wish you great success!

[chloe_cd]

Hi all thanks for the advice, just a quick update as i went this morning to the doctors. Overall my experience was good i was very nervous going in but when i did as Katey said and just came out with it and that it was causing problems the doctor was very understanding. I dont think she was trained in any gender and or crossdressing related advice but tried the best she could and said she would think through whom to refer me to. To my relief she didnt say heres some pills take them and ile see u in a few weeks quite the apposite she thinks therapy and talking through it is the best option. There were a few things about gender questioning slightly and porn that i forgot to mention so im not too sure if i should tell her next time as i have an apointment in a few weeks but on the whole i think i covered what i needed help with. Whilst some people my not have the same experience as me i would recomend at least trying to tell your doctor if you need help as even if they pass judgment, in the uk they are the first point of call and you wont tend to deal with them on the issues it will be who you are refered to who will do that.

ile keep you updated on things as they may be of some help to other people in the same situation

thanks

chloe

[msniki48]

I spoke to a group of medical students a couple of weeks ago. They received no training on LGBT issues, particularly "T" issues.

I hope your GP is great. I'm in the process of firing mine - he was not so great. He had no idea what to do for me. He also opined that I'd be a really unattractive woman. It was his attempt at levity. So funny...


Yup!

Fire that Doc... I had a similar experience when I was young and concerned about gynochomastia... [ errr spelling ] he wrote a prescription for a triple A bra and gave it to my mom for a laugh.... never forgot that to this day.

[Beverley Sims]

On your first appointment just tell how you feel, if you are referred to a psychologist as undoubtedly you will you can then go dressed if you are committed in your quest.

Do you want to be a woman or do you think you are a woman?

Choose your answer to that question wisely and with great thought.

[Marcelle]

Hi Chloe,

As so many have aptly advised . . . just tell the GP what your told us with a bit more detail. It is probable she/he will not have much understanding about trans issues and might have some very personal questions . . . just answer them honestly so the best possible referral can be made.

Hugs and good luck.

Isha