R u a woman? Or, do u wish to be one?

[docrobbysherry]

This is the difference one HPATH doctor suggested as the telling point between young children who should have conversion therapy and those he thot, shouldn't.

Young children that felt they were females inside male bodies should undergo conversion therapy rite away. While the ones that said they WANTED to become females should have therapy delayed until neared or after, puberty. To see how they felt on those later years.

It made me wonder about myself and others here? I never asked myself that question when I began dressing at age 50+ because it was pointless. After living 50 years as a male I never thot I was female inside. I simply wanted to become one. But, if I had gender issues at an early age I mite have thot differently.:straightface:

How about u? R u a woman inside a male body? :battingeyelashes:
Or rather, do u wish to become one? :daydreaming: I'm very curious about your answers!

[Marcelle]

Hi Sherry,

Tough call for me. As I progress down the spectrum and embrace this side of me I do find that more and more when I present female, I feel at that point I am female although I am not sure what the really means anymore than I can say with any certainty that I know what it means to feel male (physical characteristics aside). As to whether I wish to become a woman? The answer at present is no. I have no issues with my male physiology or being male and have no desire to give that part of me up to become a woman.

Hugs

Isha

[Jeri Ann]

Sherry,

My earliest recollections are that I wanted to be a girl. Not just cross dress, but be a girl. It is with great angst that I have lived my male life. My constant thoughts, dreams and fantasies are about being female.
I often wonder how it might have been, born female or maybe even transition at an early age. How wonderful it would have been to grow into womanhood. Maybe Mr. Right would have come along and swept me off my feet. Maybe I would have been a successful career girl or maybe a stay at home mom. This post got me to musing this morning.

Jeri

[Georgina]

I am not a woman and don't want to be one. When I was younger I wished, at times, to be a girl just to wear the clothes nothing more. I am happy being male and enjoying my alternative clothes.

[Erica Marie]

I learned I was this way in my early teens, now almost 35 yrs later I realize its not about the cloths, it is about being me. If I was given the chance to go back and do it all over, I would prefer to transition into a female than live the life that was laid out for me. I followed the norms of society because I thought that was the "right" thing to do. At this age how do I make society realize that it is now time for me to do what is right for me.

[CynthiaD]

I'm a woman. Although the idea of surgery and HRT has some appeal to me, it really wouldn't change anything. I'm already a woman. I don't know why I have male body parts, and it would be nice to have the "correct" ones. But it's not important enough to me to do anything drastic about it. At least not right now. Perhaps I'll change my mind in the future.

[Donnagirl]

I don't know, I really don't know... Lived the boys life to the fullest, done so much stuff many can only dream of and loved being a man. Now, am I a woman? I'm certainly intrigued, curious, tempted... Do I want to be one, yes, no, maybe, who can tell? I'm only just coming to terms with the revelations of the last 6 months.
I'll rephrase the question... Am I a man? Physically, yes but waning, mentally, well now I'm not so sure, emotionally, definitely not... Do I want to be one? Again yes, no, maybe...
At the moment I'm pretty sure that I'm going to sit somewhere inbetween the two for a while. Now I know that is likely to prompt some controversy, provoke a little negative commentary but that's how it is now. It's probably how it will stay for quite a while. There are times I need to be a boy and times I just as equally need to be a girl. Times I love being the man, times I cherish being a woman. I'm just so lucky I have the opportunity to be both.
So where do I fit, what label is most accurate, which pigeon hole is most appropriate? I guess none. I'm just me! And loving it!!!!

[deebra]

I would like to dress and live full time for a year and hopefully find out. Of course during this trial period I would love to have a well proportioned female body and pretty face. I really love the look and feel of dressing female pretty much everyday, imagine doing this and being totally accepted by society. Another thought, is 2 better than 1, how about being a male and crossdressing so well (pretty face, nice fem figure, soft voice) that no one could "make you". When you chose to be a woman you would be the envy of women and desired by men. Decisions, decisions????

[Kate Simmons]

I'm a man and a woman but don't need conversion surgery to enjoy any of it. Having a good imagination helps. :)

[Dianne S]

I'm transitioning and have been full-time now for about 5 weeks. So I guess my answer to your questions are "Yes".

[CarlaWestin]

Sherry, that's so cool that after 14,000 posts you seem to be asking question number one. And, it is delightfully appropriate.
Here's my thing. I think I would love to become a woman but, I'm really good at the man thing. Not exactly macho or uber viral, just good at the hunter/gatherer stuff.
But, if something were to happen where medical science decided that my survival depended on full transition, I'd have no problem with it.
A wonderful excuse that wouldn't be my fault.

"Oh Carla, we're so happy you survived! And, you're gorgeous! Those must have cost extra, right?"

[Alex!]

I'm a man who loves women and I'm happy. Alex is a thrill and a form of artistic expression.

[maya1love]

I'm a man who loves women and I'm happy. Alex is a thrill and a form of artistic expression.

What wonderful way of putting it! I am happy to be a feminine man who likes to dress up as a woman -- nothing more, nothing less!

[alwayshave]

I love dressing and feeling pretty, but I am a man.

[ambigendrous]

Wow - what a question! Like others, ambigendrous is ambivalent. While I've been dressing my entire life I'm satisfied with my male role. Are there times when I wish I were female? Absolutely! Do I want to transition and have surgery? Absolutely NOT! Sure, having a female form would be great for fitting into the clothes, but I can't imagine my life without my loving wife and family. IF I were female I never would have met my wife, we'd never have had our 2 awesome sons, or our equally awesome grandchildren!

In an ideal world I'd get out of bed in the morning and select a body to wear for the day, then dress that body appropriately!

[I Am Paula]

I was born a man with a wonderful woman's soul.
I lived with it for 54 years, mostly to please others.
I thought, Why am I pleasing others, while making myself miserable?
I fixed the problem, so I could live happily ever after.

[Ellie52]

Hi Sherry,

Tough call for me. As I progress down the spectrum and embrace this side of me I do find that more and more when I present female, I feel at that point I am female although I am not sure what the really means anymore than I can say with any certainty that I know what it means to feel male (physical characteristics aside). As to whether I wish to become a woman? The answer at present is no. I have no issues with my male physiology or being male and have no desire to give that part of me up to become a woman.

Hugs

Isha
I have to agree 100% with Isha..
If I could wear the clothes I wanted too - skirts blouses - you know the stuff, without the need to attempt to look like a woman I would be happy. Its more feasable and safe to walk down the street wearing womans clothes LOOKING a bit like a woman with the bumps in the right places than it would be wearing a floral print dress and 4" heels presenting as a male (Bald head and everything).
The day may come where its possible to do this but I dont think itll be in my lifetime.
I saw today that male perfume is taking off, and recently saw an advert for an Australian on line shop called Homme Mysterre that sells mens lingerie (Bras etc for men) so maybe Bob Dylan was right and 'the times are a changing'. Until then its hiding behind a wig and facepaint for me, with the required accessories of course.

In the immortal words of Sergeant Phil Esterhaus - Hey, Lets be careful out there......
Ellie

[Traceyjo]

When I am fully dressed and made up I really do feel that I want to be a woman because the pleasure from feeling that I am female is so intense . The reality though is that I have no desire to transition because my male life is very satisfying . Anyway if I did transition, being a woman would just become normal for me and the wonderful enjoyment and excitement of crossdressing would no longer be the highlight that it is now.

[Ellie52]

Traceyjo

How true...Do GG's get the pleasure we get in the same way we get it? I know woman can be narcissistic and so can I but they dont get the adrenaline thrill of walking down a street knowing you arent what you appear to be.
They can walk into a shop or coffee house or a Mall and be totally relaxed. I could never relate to that as I am always nervous because so many things can go wrong. i.e crashing the car (my biggest fear when out dressed).
So I dont relate to being a woman because Im not a woman inside. I am a guy in fancy dress but that doesnt mean I dont enjoy it. Just not the same way a woman would.
I was talking to a friend today who knows Im a CD and I was telling her Im having a day off tomorrow so Ill visit her in her shop fully dressed, and she said when she has a day off all she wants to do is wear track pants, loose t shirt and no shoes. Shes still excited about me going in dressed though.

We are the same only different......Ellie

[pamela7]

The day may come where its possible to do this but I dont think itll be in my lifetime.
Ellie

Okay, Ellie, I'm out and about as you say is not possible, "man in a dress". I get some funny looks of astonishment, but so far nothing bad. Bright nail polish at the gym had some smiles and glances. Mostly I'm going out andro just to please my SO's fear's, though truthfully it's probably my own that limit. About to reveal myself to my bro and sis this arvo ... gonna be fun.

Oh, and in response to the OP: I'm a man, I don't think of myself as a woman, but apart from childbirth and breastfeeding I can't find anything else in life that is truly gender-specific. I'm everything.

xxx Pamela

[Dianne S]

I was born a man with a wonderful woman's soul.

Owwww.... your poor mother! I was born a baby boy.

(I'm sorry. I sometimes can't resist injecting a little levity... no disrespect intended. :))

[LucyNewport]

Well that's really the main thing, now isn't it?

I'll be perfectly honest and say that despite outward appearances, I see myself as a woman and do wish to be so completely. However I don't have a timetable for this, and the potential losses (and fear, guilt & shame) have kept me in check.

[Pat]

I'm not a woman. I know that. Just as I'm told transsexuals know that they are. So the only remaining question is do I want to be a woman? And I think the answer to that is no. I'm happy being a man. So why do I dress up and why is dressing alone not satisfactory?

I mean if it was generally OK for me to wear my denim miniskirt to the mall as a man, I would, but it wouldn't fill the need. For some reason dressing isn't satisfactory unless I try to fem out my features. I can live without the boobs -- I wear them to make the clothes look good, not for me. I can sometimes live without the wig. But if I don't shave everything below the eyebrows and I don't apply at least some makeup, I don't get to the state of happiness I'm looking for. Not sure what that says.

[Dana44]

Good question Sherry, I was born a man yet have female hormones. Got to say I accomplished a lot in my life as a male. Love showing my fem side. Do I want to be a woman. No... well maybe... No... Perhaps if I had the ability at an early age, maybe. Yet in my time a man had to be a man. That was pretty well ingrained in me. Yet I had Male/female thoughts all of the time and had to come to an understanding. Yet sometimes I would wake up and tell myself I was a female for the Day. Went through that in my male mode and nobody seemed to know the difference. Yet a few of my girlfriends and my last wife knew i was a lot different than other males and that's why they were attracted to me. I would say that it is great to be a male. And it is better yet when we can pretend that we are female and dress that way.

[cheryl reeves]

im both female and male,in either mode im a crossdresser. as for transition thought about it when i was 18 but found that if i did so i would kill a vital part of me.

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

To paraphrase Prince, "I'm not a woman, I'm not a man; I'm something that I cannot comprehend..."

I truly feel stuck in the middle with "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right..." I have never really fit fully anywhere I've gone, anywho I've been...

I've had my "Man Card" pulled by "alpha males" so often that I think it's been permanently revoked. I have lived with being "XY" for so long that I'm not sure I have the ability or strength to "cross the line" permanently. I have acquired trappings of masculinity, but never really became masculine. I learned the thought processes of femininity (or a very twisted and male mutilated version thereof), but never received the guidance to become feminine. I am a chimera. A mosaic being, with pieces of all but belonging to none but myself... Even in a crowd I feel alone...

So, short answer... Yes? What is "woman"? I think I have a mind-body disconnect somewhere and I am experiencing rejection symptoms like a transplant gone horribly, terribly wrong...

Oh holy Christmas... I just realized exactly how much downer that was. And yet, I can't (won't) change it. If I do, how is this any different from what I have done for decades before? I only hope that if you read this and identify with it, know you aren't alone...

[Jaylyn]

I'm a man that has something in him that makes me want to wear women's clothes, and makeup. I enjoy it. I enjoy also being a male I've wondered at times though how it would feel being a female and if I were born a female I'd probably end up thinking how it would feel to live like a man. I enjoy dressing but will remain a dresser with the male parts.

[Tracii G]

I'm somewhere in the middle between the two genders.
I do feel like a girl in a boy's body most of the time. The male "bits" are just an annoyance these days.

[Sandie70]

An interesting and confusing question. I suppose that deep down I've always wanted to be a woman. If I had been free to explore my feelings at an younger age I even might have loved to transition - become a woman for real. Certainly, I enjoyed great pleasures as a man, but I also despised the male brute within me and many times in my life I would have gladly left that world behind without a thought.

But now, when I think of giving myself over completely to being a woman, I am left to question - what type of woman? My desires to be feminine are probably as much envy as anything else. As a man I would look at an attractive, sexy woman and feel the power she possesses - not the other stuff... low pay, being a second class person in a male dominated world and more. Yes, that feeling of power is subjective on my part.

Of course, I would still love to be a woman - without the negatives. And right now, my crossdressing allows me to indulge in these hidden desires and fantasies in such a way. I know this is selfish, but if you look around you at the real world, an average woman's existence is not altogether a fairy tale. 90% of the women I see do not embody what I would want to be. So I have blocked these women out of my mind and reach out to the woman who inhabits the perfect world I would live in. A beautiful, feminine, girly, kind and caring world that lives deep inside my psyche.

And I crossdress. For brief moments I am able to be someone and something that is exactly like the ideal vision I have of womanhood - the vision I would be. I become my dream.

And I love it.

[Judith96a]

When I was a boy I sometimes fantasised about being a girl. As a man I have fantasised about being a woman. And that's all it ever was or is or will be - a fantasy! Because, though I love all the feminine trappings, I'm a man - not über-masculine or very macho but...!
Now, if someone would give me the opportunity to switch at will between having a "well built" 6ft male body and having a 5' 9", size 14/16 female body... But THAT really is the stuff of fantasy!

[docrobbysherry]

I modified my original post because I think folks were missing the point of the doctor's supposition as I understood it.

That some child trans already believe they R the other gender. While others simply WISH they were!

[Alexis08]

I've asked myself this question several times lately. After thinking carefully, I came to realization that I'm probably just androgynous. Despite it, I'm happy I was born a man instead of woman for different reasons. The male body has a more gender neutral look, it resembles a child's body more than the female one does, and i think the benefits of being a man outweigh those of being a woman.



I modified my original post because I think folks were missing the point of the doctor's supposition as I understood it.

That some child trans already believe they R the other gender. While others simply WISH they were!

If I wish to become a woman? No, I'm happy to be a crossdresser.. I think crossdressers are usually more feminine than GGs.

[antonyio]

I have aways felt a girl inside, but my parents turned a blind eye and tired to knock it out of me,fought all my life with it,now since I no-longer speak to my family the ture girl is coming out and getting stronger in me than the old male me,i agree it should be looked at as a child,not turned ablind eye to

[Dana3]

I to would describe myself as neither, but a culmination of both the masculine and feminine ~ androgynous if you were, that shifts between the two from day-to-day.

[Laura28]

Boy that's a tough one to answer. I love dressing and the feelings I have. I like be the men. But would I like to be a woman? I have said I wish I was but do I really.Like the say the grass always looks greener on the other side right? Knowing what I know now and if tomes would have been differnt when I was young I would have strongly considered it. However with my life now family friends and my identity as to who I am , I would say no I am a man who loves to dress as a woman and it is what it is.

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Owwww.... your poor mother! I was born a baby boy.

(I'm sorry. I sometimes can't resist injecting a little levity... no disrespect intended. :))

I've read this particular post a hundred times Dianne... I just now got it.

And the sad thing, this is the kind of smartalek remark I have made/would have made had it even occurred to me...

[Tina_gm]

I will have to refer to my username for this....


Am I a woman? I think a definition(s) of what a woman really is is in order here. Unfortunately I do not see a consensus forming any time soon. There is Female gender. That is anatomical. Well, I am definitely not that.

I am feminine. Femininity as we know it today is far more common for females than males. If being a woman constitutes having more femininity than masculinity?.... then I am close to being a woman. The GG's on here will argue different, and I am not challenging them on this at all. I do know that I have real femininity, as real as theirs is.

I am too also masculine. My username is such because my femininity and masculinity bounce all over the place. Overlapping at times too. My masculinity is authentic. Nothing fake about what there is of me that is masculine. I am not trying to rid myself of it. My femininity I mostly keep under hard wraps. I do so as to not cause conflict for my wife and kids, and for myself I suppose too. That too is authentic. It is not seen though.

There are times when I do wish I was a woman, because then I would not have any issues if I wanted to go shopping, or of interests or of my feminine traits and mannerisms which I do my best to contain when in public. I do wonder sometimes if I would have been better off as a woman. The hypothetical poof syndrome, or fantasy, yes, in some ways I think I would be better off, but I also know that I would not be better off in all ways of my personality.

The parts of me that are more masculine would likely suffer the same as my feminine traits do now. I have zero maternal instincts or traits. In fact basically zero nurturing instincts or traits of any kind. My wife always finds that so puzzling that I can be so feminine in some ways, but not in those ways. I don't strive to have any of these

I could go on and on with the differences of my dual gender feminine/masculine traits. Depending of the definition of what a woman is, I could say yes, partly, or perhaps "like" a woman. My desires to be one stem from those feminine traits which are at odds with my birth gender. Not enough that it makes me seriously consider to transition to be a woman. If it wasn't such a process, the thought of it might be somewhat more appealing perhaps, but even then, I would still find myself at odds and with a conflict of masculinity that I do have.

[PaulaQ]

I always wanted to be a woman -- turns out the reason for that was because I am one. ;)

[reb.femme]

Hi Sherry,

Like you, I'm a late bloomer too and never had any gender issues as a kid or an adult. However, I absolutely love my girl time. I spent 24 hours totally femme over the weekend with my wife and I just didn't want the day to end, but there's too much male in here for me to consider changing. I'm a 'common, all-garden' cross dresser who loves getting his girl on, but that's as far as I go.

As my wife often points out, I get to experience all the best bits of being female but without the problems of period pains etc.

Rebecca

[justmetoo]

Sherry, I don't believe I am the "opposite" gender and never have. I assume you mean female (however one defines that). I would only wish to be female if I could've been born genetically, physically female. I have no need or desire to go through any sort of "transition" to female nor even to live or dress as female full time. I enjoy my guy side and my femme side. 2 sides of the same coin.

[kimdl93]

With children, I would be inclined to accept and accommodate the child's clear declaration of their gender, if it is clear and emphatic. But most of us didn't have that clarity in Early childhood. At best, we had inklings and inclinations.

Now in my case, decades later, with the benefit of experience, counseling and a ton of self reflection, I still find it impossible to answer that question in a simple, declarative manner. I obviously concede that I have a male body and have lived the majority of my life in the manner of a male, in some cases perhaps overcompensating a bit for the inner conflict I have always felt. Today, I can more comfortably acknowledge that I am transsexual than I can assert that I am a woman. But at the same time, living in my natural habitat and natural attire, I seldom think of myself as anything other than female.

[Adelaide]

Honestly, I did NOT know what I was feeling when I was younger. There was no internet to learn about it, not any professional help to help me discover what I was really feeling. I knew I was different though....If I had known then what I know now, I would have most probably transitioned.

[Stephanie A]

The flippant side of me says I want to be a woman when I am dressed and made up because the feelings and desires are so intense, this happens less and less now that I am dressing up more frequently. I am more relaxed and at ease not so passionate and intense, when I dress. I am instead more comfortable with the reality that I am feminine too that I love to allow this to come out. So does this mean I am more woman in reality? I think so. I always have loved to visit with women one on one, or in small groups. So my initial response is that I am both male and female. My cd expression has helped me to realize that. So it is a hard journey and who knows for sure where it goes, but so far, wow I am so glad that I am experiencing it.

[Jean 103]

If I answer from when I was a child, I wanted to be a girl. Growing up in a small town and as there was no Internet yet. I had no idea it was possible. Fast forward to today, I have been looking to answer basically this same question. I don’t feel trapped in a male body, but if I could transition I would. Even if it meant I would have to pose as a guy to get work. And yes I know I’m in the minority on this site.

[bobbimo]

After I came out to my wife about 5 years ago. A lot of things became very clear about my youth. I alwasy enjoyed looking at the sears catalog, now I know I wasnt looking at the girls I wanted to wear their dresses.
When playboy went to full nudes I was disappointed. I like them in sexy outfits because I wished I could look so good. And on and on.
Whe I was growing up there was no knowledge base about being able to change your sex, or that you were not a queer if you liked to wear girls clothes. How far we have come.
My gender profile tells me I need both genders in my life to be happy and thats true, but if I was growing up now I would be able to explore my femme side and maybe make that my stronger gender??
Bobbi

[Joanne108]

No I am not a woman. I sure have fun dressing as close as passable as I can! I've been complemented a few times while out and dressed.

[NancyJ]

I do not believe that I am a woman--my anatomy and the face I see in the mirror as I shave in the morning reminds me that I am not. But do I wish I were? Yes, yrs, yes! I wish I had come into the world as a girl and that I did not have the body I have. I do not, as others have mentioned, enjoy being a man. I am happiest thinking of myself (and I know I am pretending) as Nancy. I do not believe that I really know, or could know, what it really would be like to be a woman, but I have come to realize that for me it is about more than the clothes. Nancy

[OCCarly]

Up until I was about five years old, I was simply not aware of gender. Before then my parents never socialized my brother and me with other children that I can remember, and I did not know what gender I was, and did not care. Once I became aware of gender, I thought I could choose, and I wanted to be a girl. By the time I was seven, I realized that being a boy just felt wrong, but by then I also realized that I was locked into it whether I liked it or not. I also thought it was still possible to be a girl by growing my hair long and dressing like one. Until I was about ten, I also thought that girls had penises.

So, FWIW, I am a slightly butch girl, stuck in 52 year old, five foot seven inch tall, 160 pound male body. I like to dress sexy, but I don't like frills, ruffles or lace. I like gardening, drawing and painting, but I also like driving exotic cars on the racetrack. I read romance novels and I also read science fiction. And that is just me.

ShayLeigh Dominique
What she said. That just freaking nails it.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

Do I wish to be one? (In my definition of this, born female?) Yes.

Otherwise, do I want to become one? No. I have never felt like I was in the wrong body.

Am I happy with my male side? Yes.

Does my dressing fulfill my desire to approximate and experience what I find attractive and interesting about women? Most definitely. :thumbsup:

[Cheryl T]

Over the years as I've explored myself in relation to my dressing I've come to believe that yes, I am female inside. The extent of this is yet to be determined. Whether or not at some point I proceed with transition ... time will tell, but at present that's not where I'm at.

[RachelsMantra]

Growing up I never felt like a woman but I always crossdressed and never knew why. For years I thought I was "just" a crossdresser, just a man who liked to dress in women's clothes. Now I realize I'm neither 100% male nor 100% female, but likely bigender of some kind. I'm definitely on the transgender spectrum. I identify as a male and as a female, or some blend of both, or neither. In an ideal world I would transition to live fulltime as a woman but I don't think I would get HRT or SRS. I only want to get rid of my beard, and maybe get some breasts (or not, Im pretty happy being a flat chested mtf but Ive always wondered what it's like to actually have breasts). The idea of being a hybrid of male and female intrigues me. I dont want to undergo voice training - I like talking in my normal voice, maybe dropping out the deepest register though.

To answer the question, I feel like I am partially a woman who wishes to be more of a woman but not transition fully.

[sometimes_miss]

I never asked myself that question when I began dressing at age 50+ because it was pointless.
^as above. Since about 4th grade or so, I've always felt as if I was really female, but stuck as a boy, especially one that was attracted to girls, there really wasn't any valid option (this was back in the 60's and 70's). By high school, the damage was done. I would always feel like I was supposed to be a girl, even though it didn't quite fit with the rest of what was going on in my mind. So by the time I got out of school, I figured I had to live with what I was, and learn all over how to be a 'standard issue male', and behave like one, so that no one would ever know about all the feminine feelings that were going on inside my head. After all, what good would it do? None at all, TS back then were even more of a pariah than today, and life was hard enough; isolated as a kid, no girlfriends growing up, or even in early adulthood. I had read about Christine Jorgenson, but that would have cost money and resources that I simply didn't have.
If I could go back in time and had the option to transition before age 13, yes, I'd do it. After all, that's what I had expected to happen all along. I'm not saying that going through those years as a TS girl would be easier, but it would at least have felt normal to me, and I might have at least had a female friend instead of being alone all the time. As it is, I've been acting the part of a normal male to the rest of the world now for over 40 years. I've been doing it so long that it's no more difficult than walking, everything is second nature. But it will never be 'me'.
Would I want to become a woman now? And be an old, homely, ugly woman? Exactly how would that change anything? I'm already an old, homely, ugly man. The vast majority of my life will be pretty much the same either way. The one difference I do know? As old age approaches, women are more likely to become incontinent of urine, and men find it more and more difficult to urinate, to the point of spending many minutes before we can pee, and even then, the stream is no longer strong enough to write our names in the snow.
So to paraphrase the Bard, "To pee or not to pee. that is the question". Hope that provided a laugh to some of you.
And so happy for the invention of Flomax.

So the real answer to the question would be, sure, if the wish includes going back to age 13. For lots of us, all we have left is dreams.

[Madeleine Quinn]

I am not, and have never wanted to be, a woman. The best that I can explain my interest in crossdressing as follows: I find it fun (lots of fun, actually!) to feel pretty, and I think our society does everyone a huge disservice in reinforcing the message that feeling pretty is something that is/should be only for girls or women. There's no good reason that the joy of feeling pretty should be off limits to boys and men, just as there's been no good reason that pursuits that have traditionally been considered exclusively male should be off limits to girls and women.

So, no, I don't want to be a woman. What I want is a society in which the joys that I get from crossdressing aren't considered to be exclusively female in the first place. Even for adults, partaking in activities associated with the "wrong" gender can very quickly and easily get someone labeled a freak; it might even be met with angry and violent responses. Adults, though, at the very least, can take some critical perspective on gender expectations and decide for themselves whether they want to conform to them or subvert or ignore them. Of course, adults who have a desire to engage in pursuits that are outside the norms for our gender do still have all of the messages we were fed as kids lurking in our brains, so there's definitely a lot of variation between adults regarding how well those critical faculties function or how willing different people are to actually use them. Kids, by far, get the worst of it, though: they get the same terrible messages about what's "for boys" and what's "for girls" that we adults do, but for the most part, children don't have the life experience or critical faculties to be able to figure out which messages from society should be worth listening to and which ones shouldn't.

So, I don't know where exactly that puts me. As much as I do enjoy feeling pretty, I can function in society while presenting as a gender that's completely continuous with my biological sex, without discomfort or any feelings that I'm denying any part of who I truly am by doing so. And I know that folks who are trans or who experience gender dysphoria, because they don't have that privilege, go through life with a very different set of experiences and challenges than I do. At the same time, I do think that there's a biological component to gender (i.e., that a significant part of what goes into classifying a person as one gender or another is the social stuff I described above, but that biology plays a role as well, even over and above just determining which reproductive organs a person has), so I wouldn't really classify myself as a full-on gender abolitionist, either. "Genderqueer" maybe works, but only because it is, by design, sort of a catchall term. So, genderqueer advocate for the abolition of stigmatization on the basis of gender (GQAFASBG?)—it's not like the various permutations of the LGBT*QIA... abbreviation are long enough already!

[Melissa_Rose]

I learned I was this way in my early teens, now almost 35 yrs later I realize its not about the cloths, it is about being me. If I was given the chance to go back and do it all over, I would prefer to transition into a female than live the life that was laid out for me. I followed the norms of society because I thought that was the "right" thing to do. At this age how do I make society realize that it is now time for me to do what is right for me.

I agree with Erica.. I have come to experience regret for what might have been. And at times see no hope in salvaging or experiencing things I feel I needed to..
Melissa

[LilSissyStevie]

There was a time I wished I was born a girl but now I realize that, as a male, the world is my urinal. I wouldn't want to give that up.

[LaurenNZ]

sandy wrote:
And I crossdress. For brief moments I am able to be someone and something that is exactly like the ideal vision I have of womanhood - the vision I would be. I become my dream.

And I love it.

Sandie says it for me. For me it is a form of escapism into a wonderful world where I am able to be the lady I want to be for whatever length of time is available. I try to portray a 'classy' persona and not one that could be worn 24/7, so, in reality, my 'mans world' is the most defining.

[renaej7]

I am happy being a male but do wish to appear more feminine. I have even thought about having fat replacement surgery to give my hips/butt more of a feminine curve. Nothing outrageous. I've done the shapers and pads but I prefer to shed them if I could. I have also tried working out those areas but that haven't given me the results I desire. If I was younger, I definitely would wanted to be a woman FT.

[Lorileah]

Young children that felt they were females inside male bodies should undergo conversion therapy rite away. While the ones that said they WANTED to become females should have therapy delayed until neared or after, puberty. To see how they felt on those later years.

semantic BS wrapped in misunderstanding exactly what words mean.

Children think they are cowboys...so they should be cowboys? The difference between Feel like, want to and believe at a young age is zero. If that is his criteria I hope he feels like actually becoming a compassionate medical person so he can do it immediately and not wait until he grows up. There is no difference in a child's mind over wanting to be something and feeling like they are something. People here who are much older than adolescent use different words to convey the same meaning.

I call BS on this.

[flatlander_48]

While I discovered women's undergarments and shoes at a young age, 8-10, I have no recollection of feeling that I was female or should be female. There has always been an erotic quality to my liking of feminine things, that is greatly reduced these days. I think I just enjoy the idea of allowing this other facet of me to be seen. I will admit that it would be interesting to live as a female for an extended period, I doubt if I would ever think that it should be a full-time and permanent thing. I've never really been unhappy that I'm a male. I consider myself to just be a combination of male and female attributes.

Regarding the theory as originally presented, I would have to wonder about it. I understand how it is supposed to work, but children are very susceptible to suggestion. I don't see how the process would be very accurate.

DeeAnn

[docrobbysherry]

semantic BS wrapped in misunderstanding exactly what words mean.

Children think they are cowboys...so they should be cowboys? The difference between Feel like, want to and believe at a young age is zero. If that is his criteria I hope he feels like actually becoming a compassionate medical person so he can do it immediately and not wait until he grows up. There is no difference in a child's mind over wanting to be something and feeling like they are something. People here who are much older than adolescent use different words to convey the same meaning.

I call BS on this.
I'm surprised no one else did that before your post, Lorileah. Maybe because they just ran with whatever their own circumstances were instead of trying to understand the difference as he postulated it? This was only one doctor's opinion. Others in the article strongly disagreed with him. Saying conversion therapy shouldn't ever be performed on young children.

I was struck by the simplicity of his formula. And, wondered if some here could apply it to themselves? When they did it became COMPLICATED! With not a word about whether the OP had any merit until your post. Thank u!:thumbsup:

[lostinmyworldcd]

I beleive a person has no control of what they like (male or female) ..... Attraction is something that must be hardwired into our DNA .......

I guess how we each choose to deal with that , is the whole trick to life ......

I think I would like to live as a woman ......

But , I'm attracted to BBW , chubby women ........ go figure ..... lol

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Scotti,

I truly believe it is not that simple... We humans are a very complex bunch. Our experiences shape us, and then in turn we shape our experiences. Sometimes, to change a bad experience into a good one (or vice versa), all it takes is a new perspective; a new belief about that situation... I have had horrendous experiences become life-altering revelations because of that. I have had glorious new experiences become dirty, shameful acts in the same way...

Attraction is a mental thing, not physical.


Then that comes dangerously close to suggesting that it is a choice; and it isn't...

DeeAnn

DeeAnn,

There are scads of mental processes that are no more a "choice" than breathing, or a heartbeat, and yet they are still "mental" processes. Sometimes, these processes are impossible to remove, but nothing is resistant to change... Sometimes the only change possible is acceptance. If attraction were purely physical then penises would be drawn to vaginas and vice versa. It is not that simple, and I surely never meant to imply that it was. I am the sum of my experiences and I am trying to come to terms with my self (be he male or be she female, or even something in-between).

There is always a choice. Sometimes the choice is "accept or die". Sometimes the way to acceptance is changing one's perspective... I am NY NO MEANS saying that people can choose to be "not gay" or "not female" or "not human" or even the converse of these... But you can choose how you deal with being "gay" or "female" or "human"... You can deny yourself, and become a bitter and destructive being; or you can accept that aspect of yourself and create a new life, a new world.

People are very, very, very complex and complicated creatures. We alone of the animal kingdom can process our world in the way we do, to alter it around us so drastically...

Anyone who claims to be in full control of their mental processes is either lying or the next evolution of humanity... I certainly do not claim either...


ShayLeigh Dominique
What she said. That just freaking nails it.

Thanks, OCCarly!

[lostinmyworldcd]

Shayleigh

I see your point ..... I can and have seen experiences influence our growth process ......

But sometimes things are really that simple , not in every situation though ......

There are just some things people like ..... no reason .....

I'm not saying some people have not been influenced by their surroundings to grow up and like /dislike certain things .....

I'm saying I beleive there are just some things , deep inside , that we never had any control over .....

[flatlander_48]

Attraction is a mental thing, not physical.

Then that comes dangerously close to suggesting that it is a choice; and it isn't...

DeeAnn

[Pat]

Did we just pass through a wormhole? It looks for all the world like post #62 is quoting post #64... :confused2:

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Believe me when I say I have spent more time than is healthy thinking about thing like this... I have my own experiences, my own "why do I like this and not that" issues to deal with. I may not be able to change what it is deep at my core (I agree it is impossible to do so) but I can change how I let it inform my life, shape my future.

My main issue is determining exactly what is at my core...



Did we just pass through a wormhole? It looks for all the world like post #62 is quoting post #64... :confused2:

Jennie,
I try to consolidate posts, so the Mods don't have to do it for me.

[flatlander_48]

SD:

Being a bisexual, I'm fully conversant with the how sexuality and attraction works. What you wrote left the door open, so thank you for the clarification. And yes, I agree that one can choose to live an authentic life or not. Unfortunately, the not tends to create many problems that do not just go away. It is analogous to a pressure cooker..With continued application of heat and no presssure release, explosion is a distinct possibility.

DeeAnn

[Robyn2006]

Great topic question, often passed over. I know many here are male who wish to be female, to enter into another world for time to time enjoyment (slam coming, I know), but for many, myself included, there was a day in our youth when we awoke and finally realized that those things inside were far from the expectations of the world around us. We are the T in LGBT. For some, mostly the younger among us, transition is a going possibility. But for those of us a bit late in the game, our lives have been cast. Transition is near impossible, but for winning a million dollar lottery. Our careers are set and our lives have become our profession. For some, transition is still possible, but for many (again, myself included), to transition would mean to lose our income. Easy answers, offered kindly though they be, no one knows the intricacies and responsibilities of another's life.

Boy, that was a depressing post. Sorry! :kiss:

[Suzanne F]

I am a woman. However, I fought it for over 40 years. I am in the process of transitioning.
Suzanne

[Jenniferpl]

Back in second grade I would often look at girls in class and want to be just like them. There is a strong willed women within me. Living with both has been challenging.

Life is complicated and to transition would have driven away most of the people that I am close, not the mention the niece and nephews that I have influenced.

[jazmine]

If I somehow had a choice before I was born, yeah, ...without a doubt. Girl please.
I've always considered my essence, soul/spirit ..er whatever, to be female.
Ironically, I've never had an interest in Sex Reassignment Surgery, or the desire to appear as female 24/7.
I like my guyside a whole lot, and not only feel comfortable in it, but comfortable with the world seeing me as such.
Guess I'm just a female having a male experience.....

[CherylFlint]

There’s no doubt I should’ve been born a girl, but I wasn’t, but I still get to dress-up as one, which is as close as I’m going to get.
And I’m having a lot of fun dressing.