Thinking of going out with baby. Weird or okay?

[Gwinnie]

I'm thinking of going out Saturday for a bit while my wife is at work. She knows and actually is encouraging it. Problem is, we have a baby. If I take him with me (which I would have to) is that weird and setting me up for CPS to be knocking at my door? I'm only planning on going to Torrid and a baby store.

Gwendolyn

[Wendy me]

my thoughts are no leave your baby out of your outings ......

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I don't see a problem with it except for one things.

Babies are people magnets and you can expect a large amount of attention due to just having the infant.

Do you want that much attention?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Leave your baby out of it.

[Jenniferathome]

Child Protective Services will not come to your door. Cross dressing is not abuse or neglect. That aside, you will get extra stares and you will stick out far more than without a baby. Linda is correct.

[Gwinnie]

The only places I'm going are torrid and to a baby store. Neither are in a mall so it will just be from my car to the store. Hopefully that would be short enough to not get stopped.

[Dana44]

gwinnie, Naw it isn't weird, take the cute little thing with you and enjoy being a momma for a bit. That would be kinda awesome.

[Amy Lynn3]

Ask your wife about taking the baby with you. That would be the first thing I would consider and don't allow the pink fog over take you.

[bridget thronton]

I think it depends on how soon you and your wife want to share your fem self with your baby (there are people on the forum whose children have always known, some wait till their kids are grown, some never tell)

[Amy Fakley]

I doubt you'd have a problem with CPS ... but you know, stranger things have happened ... think that depends a lot on the kind of community you live in -- for instance, in San Fran -- unthinkable ... in alabama? -- yeah, I could see that happening (though still unlikely).

My bigger concern would be the safety of your baby. Not safety from you, but safety from the kind jackasses that might confront you in the parking lot, outside the restroom after a diaper change, etc. That could turn into a serious situation.

[Gwinnie]

yeah that's what I'm worried about too. My wife is okay with me taking the baby. She kind of suggested that this would be the time to go. I have a few options on where to go. The one place is farther away, but safer from people I know. The other place would be as accepting and closer, but more chance of seeing someone I know. At his age I doubt he will notice much. But I do worry about when he's older. My wife wants him to learn that what I do is okay and nothing unusual. I'm more worried about what other kids will think and say or do to him.

[Debra Russell]

If you have to think about it twice - don't do it............Debra

[Kate Simmons]

I don't think there is anything weird about it. Just be sure you don't run into anyone who knows you or your baby. :)

[cheryl reeves]

my son has always known and i very excepting.

[Krisi]

If someone sees you and takes offence, they may call the authorities on you. This may or may not get you into serious trouble but do you really want to deal with the police or child services? While dressed?

I would not do this if I were in your position. No good can come of it.

[sabrinaedwards]

This is not weird, but you will attrack attention as babies are a draw. I have children and I believe that crossdressing makes you a better parent.
Love, Sabrina

[Lorileah]

First it is your child, you are allowed to go places with it. It was in the contract. Second, it is your child and you are not in any way abusing it to be out while dressed (contract line 7 paragraph 4). Third, if you want to be a parent, then you have every right to be one. What you are doing is not illegal and if we are going to the "morals" route, there are a lot of parents who have done things far far worse and haven't had any repercussions.

Go for a walk, enjoy the sun, enjoy the child at this age because it will never happen again. Get a thick skin if anyone says anything. You aren't harming the child and you aren't breaking any laws. You are setting a GOOD example for other parents

[Krisi]

One of the problems with asking for advice from strangers on the Internet is that you get advice from people who don't have to face the consequences of that advice. You also have people promoting a cause or agenda.

Remember, not everyone is OK with crossdressers, legal or not. And if someone want's to cause problems for you, they can.

[Dianne S]

You will get attention, or at least your baby probably will.

A long time ago when I was still "just" a crossdresser [sic], I went out with my then-wife and 1-year-old daughter to a restaurant. It was uneventful. But I'd use some judgment and consider the community and neighborhood before doing something like that.

[sometimes_miss]

The only places I'm going are torrid and to a baby store. Neither are in a mall so it will just be from my car to the store. Hopefully that would be short enough to not get stopped.

You're bordering on the wishful thinking area here. You want it to all go fine, and everyone will be accepting or at least tolerate you. Now, consider for a moment the worst possible scenario; someone says to the store management that it looks like you've disguised yourself to steal someone else's baby. Interaction with store security and police called. Picture in the newspaper of 'suspected kidnapper' (ok that probably won't happen, but somebody in the crowd just might take a pic of you in the situation and you're go viral on youtube). Are you really OK with all that happening? Because it's the exact opposite of how your wishful thinking scenario would go. Sure, sure you can always try to sue them for false arrest, using your image on youtube without your permission, etc., but by then the damage will already have been done.

So if you can deal with the worst possible outcome and be ok with that, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if it actually does down that way.

[Jennifer in CO]

you haven't said (or I missed it) how old your "baby" is. If we're talking infant, then go and enjoy being a Mother for a bit. If the "baby" is more like a toddler, wear comfy shoes for chasing...

I have to say, when our oldest was a baby I was still living full time fem. When my wife was busy (or asleep), to keep the baby quiet I would let her suckle my breast. That folks, is the most bonding and fulfilling moment you could ever experience with a child.

[Judith96a]

It's not weird Gwinnie but, depending on what the community you live in is like, it may not be the wisest course of action. However, don't let your imagination run away with you either. Think, how accepting or otherwise IS your community really? If you got into a sticky situation were it might be necessary for you to (literally or metaphorically) rip off your wig and declare "it's me, Bob, this child's father" (potentially in front of friends/neighbours) can you REALLY live with the consequences? I suspect that the answer to that question is also the answer to "Should I go ahead?".

[Gwinnie]

Baby just turned 4 months old yesterday. The place I'm thinking of going I've been there before dressed with no problem. But that was before baby.

[CherylFlint]

I'd say you've about 18 years to LEAVE THE KID OUT OF IT.

[AllieSF]

I'd say do as you think best and enjoy it. Your child and your responsibility. Start them young and they quickly learn that what is abnormal for one may be very normal and good for another. 18 years is a long time to wait to educate your child and also a long time to wait to be who you are.

[MelanieAnne]

Child Protective Services will not come to your door.
Ummm, yeah they might. All it takes is some "concerned citizen", AKA local busybody to make a complaint, and they would have to check it out to rule out any abuse or funny business. And CPS is like a pitbull. Once you are in their sights, or system, they just might make further unannounced visits from time to time, on a slow day. Keep your crossdressing separate from your kids!!!!

[ReineD]

My 2c: if you think that you will eventually go full time, then you do need to start doing lots of day-to-day things, with your wife, your baby, your friends, your coworkers, etc while dressed.

But if you intend on living primarily as a man (if you do not experience discomfort being a man), then what is the point of involving your baby in an activity that is not fully supported by members of our society? People can get protective when it comes to a child's welfare. If we lived in a society that believed people who cross the gender boundaries are a part of the every-day human fabric, then all would be good. But this is not the case, sadly, even with current public support for Bruce Jenner. People have a funny way of compartmentalizing things: public personalities (except politicians) can get away with doing a lot more than regular people because people subconsciously and loosely classify what they do as showbiz or entertainment. Gosh, even Jenner waited until all her kids were adult before coming out.

Also ... some people mentioned it might be "fun" experiencing being a mom. I just want to point out that being a mom (or a dad), has absolutely nothing to do with how long a person's hair is, whether they wear makeup or not, or what clothes they are wearing. Being a Parent is what it's all about, and that's what you are already, a parent who loves and nurtures his child.

[MelanieAnne]

As a former firefighter, I listen to a scanner from time to time, and you would be surprised how many "concerned citizens", mostly seniors, snatch up a cellphone and call the police to report "a suspicious person", or "a suspicious situation", and they want it checked out. Just a heads up, to keep in mind during your activities. And some of it is malicious, as they peek out the window, hoping to see someone get busted, or get a ticket.

[cheryl reeves]

i cant believe the responses saying no..i included my son when he was a baby and had never any probs. busy bodies tend to leave me alone for i know where most of em live..lol my son had a nickname for me" not the momma",my wife never caught on til the third chat we had on my tgism,then it was like a light bulb moment...

[giuseppina]

Sorry Cheryl. All it takes is someone in authority with an axe to grind to cause trouble.

[Badwolf]

I'm a bit late to the game but here it goes.

CPS in most parts of the country won't care too much about cross dressing. Doing it in public with your kid is a caveat to that which hasn't come up much in my experience, but could be viewed as affecting the welfare of the child in the eyes of the person in charge of the case. It is more likely to be a strong argument in their mind, if it can affect your work, but other factors such as safety and mental health could come up.

ReineD's advice on your chosen path really does help guide what your focus should be, since any version of potentially going full time is more like a band-aid. In most cases the choice of ripping it off faster (without opening the wound), will probably be less painful in the long run.

As for real risks some are overblown. In broad daylight with enough people around, most people tend to behave themselves quite well. Especially in situations where drinking/hooking up isn't a social norm. Don't let your kid wander so you avoid any confusion over who's kid it is, and to appear as responsible. Still kids are attention magnets especially where there shouldn't be too many. If you keep moving that can sometimes work in your favor, especially if your overdressed as we normally are, but that isn't something I would bet on. Torrid might fall into this category, but the baby store should be all good.

The less you are "clocked" the less likely you will have any issues at all. I went out most of the day on this past Sunday, I got complimented on my feet, outfit etc, I only had one woman literally turn around and stare for over 30 seconds as I walked past. On another outing I had to recover my wallet from the store manager, he had trouble believing it was me for a bit. Kind of smiled awkwardly while the assistant GM nudged him and said yup that's the right one (they had two and mine was the less girly of the two to boot). This was at an arcade type place with kids all around, where I had no issues of anyone claiming I was there to prey on their children. Hell one of my best friends parents walked past me twice on the same day two weeks ago at a movie theater, and I don't think they even noticed a thing. Given I did put my head down and hurried to the ladies room to avoid looking directly into their face.