The subtle attractions of cross dressing

[Jenniferathome]

I woke up this morning with a recollection of a conversation from about six months ago with Rachael Morely of the River City Gems group. I don't know why it popped into my head but as I ruminated on it I thought it worth throwing out here. I was at the Gems holiday party in Sacramento. I wrote about it here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?222394-First-Holiday-Party-attended!&highlight=River+City+Gems

Rachael and I were just getting to know each other and went through the usual why's and when's of cross dressing when she asked something to the affect of 'Don't you like the little differences of movement?" What she mentioned were things like how one has to bend from the knees to pick something up, getting into a car, sitting, holding one's hair back to get a drink from a faucet, using a napkin, and so on. I don't know why but as I was thinking on this this morning, I had to agree. Of course, in guy mode, I don't think about any of this, but when dressed a FEEL all of it. Maybe it's just because the sensation is different, but it is something I kind of like about being dressed.

Are Rachael and I alone in this?

[Stephanie A]

I was just thinking about that too as dressed all up wearing a pencil skirt. There is a female feeling that a male cannot have with physical sensation of stockings rubbing together as you walk under your skirt. It is something that is so amazing. I think that I will go out on a walk latter today.

[Zoe B]

You are definatey not alone, there is a 'female' feeling that you do not get in guy mode, even things as simple as walking has a certain sensation. It is one of the things that makes dressing so enjoyable.

[Stephanie A]

Yes the clicking of your heels as you walk.

[Amy Lynn3]

I am with you and enjoy those moments so very much.

[Dana44]

Actually many of the things a GG does is good for a guy also. Like bending knees to pick something up. Long hair is the same for men. Now walking tall in heels with a pencil skirt and stockings on. Well, that is something that men never get to feel. It is those little things that are awesome.

[Amy Fakley]

Certainly not! The subtle physical sensations of being in girl mode are awesome. I love the feeling of long hair against the back of my neck, the way that walking in heels changes my gait, the barely detectable scent of fresh makeup, the feeling of a skirt swishing against the back of my knees ... all of it!

I think I enjoy these things the most, when I've been in girl mode for a few hours, and things start to "normalize" ... that is, the primary thing that I'm doing is no longer "getting pretty" ... I'm now absorbed in just going about my life ... at that point, these things become beautiful little reminders, that yes indeed ... I am exactly who I want to be in that moment :-)

[kimdl93]

I'm not entirely sure....maybe when dressing was an occasional thing. If I affect any different movements or gestures, its second nature...or subconscious. I certainly enjoy wearing nice outfits but as Amy mentioned above my attention is quickly diverted to other things.

[Karen RHT]

The two of you are definitely not alone with those thoughts. The more I practice walking correctly in heels for example, the more I need to remind myself to walk like a guy when I'm not dressed. The more I dress, the more I want to polish my nails, wear jewelry, and adopt other female mannerisms.


Karen

[carhill2mn]

No, the two of you are not alone. These are a few of the "little" things that CDs and T-girls have to learn to do in order to not attract unwanted attention. Since I present as a woman most of the time, these things have become second nature to me and help me to be accepted as the woman that I am presenting to the world.

[PaulaQ]

All of these sensations are very wonderful, particularly if you are unused to them.

A question I would ask of you is whether or not these feelings feel a little more right for you? I'm not suggesting in an "omg! This is who I am!" kind of a way, I know few of you would feel that, just a little more natural or right feeling? By comparison, does your typical daily male presentation seem a little worse by comparison? (I'm not suggesting way worse, just a subtle thing.)

Not trying to start any controversy, just asking questions.

[Debra Russell]

All second nature when your dressed:)..................Debra

[Amy Fakley]

Well ... I'll put it this way. There are lots of subtle physical sensations that remind me I'm in dude mode too. The way denim feels against my legs, sitting on a George Costanza sized wallet. The way men's deodorant smells. Etc.

When I notice them, I find these sensations irritating. Then again, if you ask GGs about all the "wonderful" things were waxing on about here, I imagine quite a few would say "I never notice that, but when I do its annoying"

Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt. Especially when you have a hot dog every day, but all you really want is a burger (you know what I mean, lol)

[Kate Simmons]

I think most of us slide into the role quite nicely. We must, we keep coming back for more.:battingeyelashes::)

[Suzie Petersen]

Nope, you are not alone.

The "feeling" of being in girl-mode was always a big thing for me. A lot of it comes natural and is just a result of the mechanics of the clothing, hair, shoes etc. Entering or exiting a car seat with a tight skirt on requires a special technique. For one to be able to do it without breaking anything and second, to avoid getting arrested for indecent exposure :)

Managing long hair when drinking from a faucet as Jennifer mentioned etc etc.

Also the natural sway of the hips that comes from walking in high heels, having wider hips kinda' comes natural.

Then some of it are things you have to think about a little and some of it takes a lot of practice, like how to sit properly when wearing a short dress or skirt, that little movement of your head when you swing your hair back before positioning your sunglasses to hold your hair up, the different posture when you stand with your weight on one foot while pushing the hip out a little. How you hold your hands more open and use them more while talking. It is all a part of the body language and is definitely different between the stereotype male and female presentation.

There are many little things that are distinctive female when you watch others do it and it is all those little things that will make the total picture influence other peoples perception of Male or Female when they interact with you or see you walk by.

I remember many many years ago, someone said that you can always tell a man in womens clothing because when he sits with one leg across the other, in an otherwise feminine position, the angle of the foot is close to 90 degrees!
A woman in high heels will more naturally point the toes down and the angle of the foot is flat, following the line of the lower leg. Since then, I always made an effort to avoid that little give-away.

Also the way a woman hold her elbows closer to the body when walking, carry things, like books or papers, close to the chest often with both hands. How she places her feet when walking, more in a straight line and closer together, than a man do.

To me, a lot of these little things signal softness, gentleness, awareness of presentation, or on short, in my mind at least, femininity.

- Suzie

[Jenniferathome]

Paula, for me, the feeling is just different. Not right but simply required given what I am wearing. Maybe because I'm strictly a part timer, I notice it more. While I do forget I am dressed when out, these small movements always bring me back

[Teresa]

Jennifer,
It's something you tend not to think about when you've dressed for a while, I haven't experienced all the things you mention but when wearing a nightie and a long dressing gown you have to think about moving and sitting in a different way . I got caught out today walking across the lawn in heels !
Most of the differences are normal allowances you have to do when wearing clothes that move and act in different ways to normal drab clothes, they come over as feminine because women have to do them all the time to cope with long hair and skirts that might do things they don't expect.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Amy, very well articulated!!!

[Carlene]

Suzie, you are a good student. I remember, as a child, my mother teaching many of those things to my teenage sister. I was and remain today facinated with the grace of it all and I think you are also right in suggesting that these mannerisms reflect a softness, a gentleness and an awareness of presentation.

[Alex!]

Sometimes, I like to think of men as diamonds in the rough. Women are also diamonds, but precisely cut and polished into dazzling gems. I am comfortable being a crude rock. But it is a distinct pleasure to be a jewel now and then.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Suzie, interesting about the foot position with legs crossed. I've always, naturally let my toes drop in that position, and I cross my legs that way all the time even in drab.

Jennifer, glad you enjoyed your visit to my home town. Arden Fair was my mall when I first started shopping for women's clothes. The dress in my avatar came from there. Glad you found something that you look great in. I actually preferred you in that red dress. I think it gave you a great figure. As to the intent of your OP, I always appreciated how the clothes just naturally induced feminine motions too. Its definitely one of the perks of going en femme.

Bridget

[Kandi Robbins]

Jenn,

A very interesting observation. By no means did I "study" women when I started going out (lived with them all my life, so I am sure some things sunk in), but those subtle differences just happened. It's all part of this CD thing that I find so alluring. Putting an outfit together, selecting the right earrings, bracelets, shoes, purse and then putting it all on and it looks great! Then you get a complement from someone and you feel so special, like you were just invited into a club. I don't think differently when dressed, I am not at peace or feel "right", I just feel good, nice, special. It's a good thing.

Kandi

[Barbara Black]

I love all those little subtle movements, particularly when I don't anticipate them and they just occur before I realize it. The grosser movements needed to walk in heels, sit in a tight dress, are almost less intriqueing since they are a matter of practice and necessity. ha ha But do make you proud of yourself when you do it right.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Jen,

I was kinda surprised to hear that something little 'ole me said 6 months ago happened to pop up in your mind. :) That said, from my perspective, and being that I am a "weekend part-timer", I do think that if I were to be able to dress way more often than I do these differences would stop being differences and become normal and I would not give them a second thought.

(Here's a bad analogy) Kinda like trying to improve your golf swing, your coach has you stand in a different position and grip the club differently, and when you first do this and/or don't play that often it always feels "different from the norm" but if you begin to play often enough it becomes automatic and you never think about it anymore and its just part of your game.

Me, being me, I don't dress often enough to not notice these differences, but when I do dress, I can get easily get into the mindset and it all just seems to flow effortlessly to me because a lot of these movements I now carry over in to my boy self. It not hard, in fact it's easy, but I'm still "part-time enough" to notice a difference.

Hugs
Rachel

[sometimes_miss]

in guy mode, I don't think about any of this, but when dressed a FEEL all of it. Maybe it's just because the sensation is different,
When I first started dressing, I was always hyper sensitive to the differences in how the clothing feels to wear, and how all the little movements are subtly different, as well as the female specific things like yes, hair care around food and drink, and sitting down in skirts and dresses, and of course bathroom routines. At this point however, I don't really consciously notice it all as it's become second nature as I dress as a girl most of every day. But of course the feelings are still there, always sending back tactile/visual signals that declare 'female person' instead of male. It's why I'm still sane and calm instead of a irritable wreck of a human being.

[alwayshave]

Subtle difference for sure. When I first started fully dressing I noticed everything, though a lot was positive, some was negative. I was always pushing the hair from my wig off my face, forehead, eyes. My fiancee kept correcting me saying, don't touch your hair, its supposed to come across your forehead/corner of your eye like that. Changing they way a sit also took some work.

[Suzie Petersen]

Rachel: I do think that if I were to be able to dress way more often than I do these differences would stop being differences and become normal and I would not give them a second thought.

I think you are right, and others have mentioned this too, but isn't that a shame somehow? If those little things are actually triggering the pleasure gene, it seems a shame to loose it and allow it to become normal.

One of the things I noticed a long time ago, when I was going out in girl mode a fair bit, was that I would sometimes forget that I was dressed! Not like forgetting it really, but it changed from being the primary focus to just being a fact of the day, just the way things were. This was both good and bad actually. Good because when you stop trying so hard, things often get easier! If you try to pass or blend in, you sometimes overdo it and that gives you away, whereas if you dont try so much, it often comes natural instead.
Of course, you also stop looking for peoples reaction which again makes you feel comfortable and as a result you pass or blend in much better!

But my point is, if some of the original thrill is the little tactile sensations and the pleasure that gives, then we kinda' loose that when it becomes "normal" to us!
I distinctly remember the first time I shaved my legs and put on a pair of hose. That sensation was unbelievable, but I never felt it the same way again. When shaving my legs became a normal part of the day, the thrill of it was much less.

- Suzie

[UNDERDRESSER]

I feel this, even as just a "Dude in a dress" (skirt mostly) There are many aspect to it. The simple comfort factor of no cloth bunched between your thighs, cooler air circulating, easier feel of the fabric just simply hanging there, that kind of thing. When wearing my favourite opaque thigh highs, the feeling of my legs being caressed, the support they give my legs, the awareness of how they enhance my legs. With heavier and longer skirts, the feel of it moving and brushing the skin is very sensual, not sexual, just being aware of my body in a pleasant way. The feeling of being "on display" makes me very aware of how I sit, stand and walk, it's doing wonders for my posture! One funny thing that I thought about reading this thread, when I was younger, I would cross my legs as a habit, but I don't do that now. Have I been conditioned not to by criticism? Or is it just my legs are bigger now?
Sometimes, I like to think of men as diamonds in the rough. Women are also diamonds, but precisely cut and polished into dazzling gems. I am comfortable being a crude rock. But it is a distinct pleasure to be a jewel now and then.Interesting way of looking at it, if true, I think my male side is being polished up nicely!

[Stephanie47]

I think if you have been dressing long enough you have a tendency to forget you're doing it at all. Recently, when I was having a physical I was searching for a word or expression to explain how my diabetic neuropathy was affecting me. He said, "You have to think about doing something, that you use to do without thinking!" He was right on.

Yes, pushing away that lose strand of hair; smoothing your dress when sitting down; getting into a car sitting down first and swinging your legs afterwards; holding your dress at the sides when a strong wind blows in; holding hands on lap; crossing legs at the knee rather than the ankles; sitting with knees together and not splayed out like a guy; take small steps and don't kick your feet out like a man, etc.

Several years ago I was walking behind a person, who I knew without seeing a frontal view, that the person was a cross dresser. The person walked like a man and carried her handbag like it was a lunch pail. As the person walked in high heels boots, the ankles caved in. In my mind I did give her credit for venturing out in public, but, looking at tutorials on YouTube would be helpful for her.

[joanna4]

True, I'm very cautious about my movements. Overtime, I noticed I developed an auto-pilot feature when I have too much going on such as being in a crowded public place.

[CynthiaD]

I dress a lot, so the little things don't have as much impact as they used to. Every once in a while though, i do notice something, like smoothing my skirt as I sit down. When I notice something like this, I'm impressed with how right it feels. It's like something is telling me, "This is how things ought to be.

[pamela7]

do you feel subtle differences between andro and skirted, skirted and fully wigged/made-up? I do.
the andro is like a socially acceptable way of dressing, but leaves me really in male mode in others perception
a skirt/tunic/leggings are essential to really root into my fem side

sometimes it feels subtle, others immense, i guess down to the contrast on my previous activity?

[Sarah-RT]

They are all typical mannerisms or requirements, in male mode I don't think of them at all but when dressed I try to emulate them as best as possible.

I sometimes find myself "people watching" to learn new ones or do them better. I've noticed as well that when women are relaxed they are not so bothered about some of them, such as when they are at home and not out in public.

I've noticed lately that some of those mannerisms have "bled" into my usual routine such as crossing my legs when sitting which I try to avoid doing in male mode.

[Helen_Highwater]

Jenifer,
I am with you on this one. A while ago I posted about it being "way more than the clothes" By that I alluded to amongst other things while wearing a long wig to develop the head flick that takes the hair from in front of your face when you bend forward. To how you sit in a skirt, walk down stairs in heels, get into/out of a car, type or even scratch yourself while wearing false nails.

Even if I have a day at alone at home and I do mundane chores such as tidying the kitchen, I behave and act differently to doing the same things en drab. My actions are different. Perhaps in drab I don't really care if I get dirt on my clothes but enfemme, that's a different matter. I pay greater attention to what I do. Now is that just because I'm a CD who's dressed or is it because GG's just take that little bit extra care and we seek to emulate that?

[gailbridges]

The little things women experience.... pretty amazing.

There was once an old episode of "Taxi" where this woman that Reeger was seeing was also dating his father. Reeger asked her what was so great about his dad. And she described how the dad was nearly brought to tears just because he enjoyed the poetry of her motion, even just putting on her earrings.
Obviously, that stuck with me.

One thing that surprised me was a few years ago when I had long hair (musicians can get away with it).
I remember having my hair in a pony tail at work. Then getting in the car, taking the rubber band off it, and letting it loose. Then as I was driving, my hair would be between my back and the seat-back. I would try rotating my head down in front, but couldn't because my hair was trapped in back.
This fascinated me when it first happened. A revelation. Wow, girls with long hair probably have this happen all the time.
After that, I loved trapping my hair. Made me also realize why some women like their hair tugged/pulled.
I would grow my hair long again if it weren't for the fact that as a guy I think I look dumb with long hair. That may change as I lose more weight.